New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244973 questions, 1084332 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*at lady agony aunt

*at lady

United States  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *at lady to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *at lady a private message

*at lady's Ratings
Excellent67%
Average7%
Poor26%
123Next > [3 pages, 80 answers]

I want to be straight

Q.   I'm in love with a woman I can't be with because she is straight. I have accepted this and I'm trying to move on. Over the last week I have been checking dating sites and stuff, but it's no good I'm just not attracted to lesbian women, often they ...

A.   15 January 2011: A-sexual, eh? I know just how you feel! Such a lot of bother it can be trying to mixed up or un-mixed up with other people - regardless of sex. I can see you've two of the best here to advise you so I come in just to offer a link I believe you'll ... (read in full...)

Why did she stop our FWB relationship?

Q.   This has been bothering the hell out of me, so please please help! A few months ago, my really close friends and I (we're both girls) decided to become friends with benefits. We made out and stuff, and we were both cool with it and it was fine....

A.   15 January 2011: Are you 'crushing on' a girl or a guy? The reactions of your FWB might be very telling, depending on which it is. It is NEVER a good idea to share such confidences with somebody you're having sex with; you shall always regret it. I don't care how ... (read in full...)

He is happy living alone but I am not

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for just under 2 years and really love each other and most of the times things are good. We are both 31 and I have been engaged before but never married and he has never lived with a woman before. Last...

A.   14 January 2011: Lady, there are all sorts of reasons to be nervous about living with someone but I have to tell you this: if you and a man have been in an intimate relationship for 2 years already and the guy still doesn't want to live with you, don't expect to get ... (read in full...)

My marriage proposal sucked! Should I let him do it again?

Q.   SO I’m engaged but my proposal Sucked!!! he didn’t even decorate there was no romantic music and he knows that I love flowers and he didn’t even give me one!!! He used a beat up candle that was already used and I didn’t even get to dress up nor ...

A.   14 January 2011: Don't get married yet - and not just because the guy didn't give you the kind of proposal you wanted; rather because you're actually too young for the hardships of married life. Age is relative and it's possible to be 25 and still be 15 in some ... (read in full...)

Why is my mum like this?!

Q.   help i really don't know what to do, i don't feel like i can let my mum be so controling all the time. Everyone in my house tip toes around her, she is self employed but never puts in effort to get work so we live off my dads wage. She has ruined e...

A.   14 January 2011: Hello, girl! As to menopause, one of my mother's sister's started going through it at 38, so I just offered it as a possible if she was really acting weird. I have something else to tell you that may amaze you: not too long ago, NOBODY ever as... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has an irrational fear of pregnancy, even though we never had sex!

Q.   My girlfriend has an irrational fear of pregnancy I'm afraid. It's not a matter of sex even though, she gets super freaked out about touching my penis in case it somehow got her pregnant. She is even acts worried in the hot tub about over exciting ...

A.   14 January 2011: @ Merawder LOL! No need to be a moron to be unable to keep up with the latest on hormone-based BC! You'd be surprised how many people don't know how to use them. However, the BC dose doesn't appear to be your problem. Your problem seems to be that ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has an irrational fear of pregnancy, even though we never had sex!

Q.   My girlfriend has an irrational fear of pregnancy I'm afraid. It's not a matter of sex even though, she gets super freaked out about touching my penis in case it somehow got her pregnant. She is even acts worried in the hot tub about over exciting ...

A.   12 January 2011: I almost never use this line but now I have to do: Google is your friend. Almost all forms of birth control have side effects, some of them quite serious and causing trouble for years ahead. Some people are even allergic to BC pills or patches. You ... (read in full...)

My brother doesn't support my choice of a wife, he wants me to marry his wife's sister!

Q.   Hello everybody, i'm 28 yrs old in love with my GF For 5yrs, she is the one i'm planning to marry very soon. My major problem is that, my elder brother who took care of my studies when i was in d university is not in d support to marry her. Now i'm ...

A.   12 January 2011: Marriage is a very serious business, sealed with sacred vows and the only thing that helps you keep them is love between you and your wife. Your brother should not be pushing you to marry without love, only for convenience, because it is the same as ... (read in full...)

My wife's worker is clearly hitting on her! Is she blind?

Q.   Hi My wife sent a text to a male work mate and his Family stating that his family could stay here if flood waters pushed them out the house they are in. That we have a spare bed for them . His reply was " Thank you for the offer about goin...

A.   12 January 2011: O NO, Glad to see you back! There should never be an inconvenient time to act like a husband so don't feel bullied by that. Never put up with improprieties because you don't want to 'start something' no matter where it is. If you allow situ... (read in full...)

Boy Crush, Missing a teacher, help?

Q.   Alright so i've got a couple things. There's this guy i like. I've known him since last summer. i work at a store so he comes in a few days a week and always says hello but usually i am the one to start the conversation on AOL instant messange...

A.   12 January 2011: Hi, Heartbeat, Why didn't you say what subject it was that tied you so close to your teacher? Whatever it be, are you still working on it? I hope so. You must have shown some unique talent for it that made you 'special' in the first place. It wasn... (read in full...)

I want to be thoughtful but, I'm broke!

Q.   I want to do something nice for my Sug but i dont have any funds. I know she knows i love her but i want to do something sweet for her to show i think about her non-stop..what should i do?...

A.   11 January 2011: Nice to see you're still talking to us, Sophya! Thanks for the compliment. A forthright person like yourself deserves nothing less than straight talking. "In spite of what??" I am certainly of 'mature age' or as they used to say, 'of a certain age.... (read in full...)

Why is my mum like this?!

Q.   help i really don't know what to do, i don't feel like i can let my mum be so controling all the time. Everyone in my house tip toes around her, she is self employed but never puts in effort to get work so we live off my dads wage. She has ruined e...

A.   11 January 2011: Menopausal mood swings? I'm not being 'sexist;' men have mid-life crises also, but with women, at least you can see them coming and do something about them. Nutritional supplements can help a lot there. It's usually at that age when men run off with ... (read in full...)

Ideas for "secret admirer" notes needed please!

Q.   Hi, my boyfriend is attending college hours from where I live and plays baseball. My spring break happens to fall on the week of his birthday so I am going to go up. I told him I couldnt come for his birthday but I will be there the next week. But ...

A.   10 January 2011: Well, you need to come back and tell us what kind of trick you want to play. Do you want to send those notes as a true admirer, showing honest affection and then confess it was you? Or, do you just feel like having some fun with him to play a prank? ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's family doesn't accept me!

Q.   Hey, I never wrote to one of these before, so do bear with me! I have been with my boyfriend for now a year. I live in Northern Ireland, where religion slightly matters. My boyfriend is a Protestant and I'm a Catholic. Boyfriend told me that his...

A.   10 January 2011: I couldn't possibly have a boyfriend who was allergic to cats! I have 8 of them and if I had to choose between a romance and my kitties, the kitties would win hands down. The stepfather threatened to break his legs? Whom does he work for, the... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm being punished for the mistakes of his two ex wives!

Q.   I've been dating this gentleman for the last 5 years. I've come to realize that we will never have a future together. He has 5 children and three live with him. He's been coming over to my place every weekend(shares my home and food) and never ...

A.   10 January 2011: Lady, if that man is of legal age and still has such bad manners as you describe, you shall NOT be able to teach him any now. If he has experience in a family household through two prior marriages, his FIRST consideration should have been that his ... (read in full...)

He wants to video tape us having sex and I'm not comfortable with it

Q.   Okay so I've dating my boyfriend for 5 months I love him more then anything. I'm in college and he works. He's 34 years old and I'm 19 years old. I know there is a big gap but I love him and I feel like he does loves me back. so we had issues in the ...

A.   10 January 2011: No, double no, hell no! Show that 34-year-old pervert the door and find a decent man. Better yet, since you're encountering weird situations like this, perhaps you could concentrate on some more constructive use of your time than sexual ... (read in full...)

Will my babies be born with problems?

Q.   I was married to my first cousin 5 month ago….now I want be a mother. But I have herd that the baby born for relatives are born with physical or mental problem. Please help me....

A.   10 January 2011: Sometimes there are problems and sometimes not. Have you done a Google search about this? There would be many articles available from doctors and researchers. Just type 'first cousins marriage' in the search bar or anything similar and you'll get ... (read in full...)

I want to be thoughtful but, I'm broke!

Q.   I want to do something nice for my Sug but i dont have any funds. I know she knows i love her but i want to do something sweet for her to show i think about her non-stop..what should i do?...

A.   10 January 2011: Since you love her, you must know by now some things she likes and you should provide us a list. It's winter, so flowers from friendly neighbors are unavailable........can you cook, girl? You should. How do you two expect to feed yourselves? Youtube ... (read in full...)

My ex is fliritng with a guy on facebook, I don't want to loose her!

Q.   hahaha...this is so interesting and hurting at the same time..if you av been following my stories then i dont av to repeat..i broke up with my girlfriend less than two weeks ago..i have kept the no contact rule for a while until i saw she had ...

A.   10 January 2011: Greetings and peace be with you, Joe Culls, You should eat rich spicy food earlier in the day and not right before you go to bed. Cheese at night is another one that causes confused dreams in some people; I don't know why but your doctor might have... (read in full...)

Is this infatuation of something more? I don't want to scare him off.

Q.   There's this wonderful man that I met the night before he was leaving back to his country. We clicked, we talked for hours (until morning!), then we slept together. I thought it would be a one-night-stand. I don't usually go for one-night-stands ...

A.   10 January 2011: Do NOTHING to 'keep him excited.' That has to come from him and there's nothing you can do to put it there. I do know just how you feel - everybody here remembers feeling like that. Do not pin yourself to a board like a hapless butterfly in a ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he want our relationship status on facebook?

Q.   Why is it that when your dating someone and you want to share it on facebook they dont want to. Its been a long time now since we've been together but he still acts like he doesnt know it. I havent done anything to him at all so what does this mean? ...

A.   10 January 2011: No, 'everyone' does NOT publish on 'facebook' every detail of their private business so it doesn't mean anything you have to worry about if your boyfriend is not a devotee of the place. From what I hear from young people in general, that kind of ... (read in full...)

My ex is fliritng with a guy on facebook, I don't want to loose her!

Q.   hahaha...this is so interesting and hurting at the same time..if you av been following my stories then i dont av to repeat..i broke up with my girlfriend less than two weeks ago..i have kept the no contact rule for a while until i saw she had ...

A.   9 January 2011: How are you doing? Yes, I remember you. Want to pull a 'fast one?' Make up a profile as somebody else and start talking to her. No 'romance' or trying to pick her up; just friendly. Use your creativity here and get her to confide in you a little. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is not ashamed of being nude in front of others...

Q.   Last night, we had around 20 people over for a New Years party, and I was trying to fall asleep a little later in the night. I was nearly asleep when someone ran to the bathroom (which is right outside of my room) to inform his girlfriend that my ...

A.   9 January 2011: Tarawr! I could translate that in Welsh to hitter, striker, or something that causes an emergency. Write it like this: tarawreg (for a girl) and go give him a smack on the butt when he does it again! Better you do that than to get a whining phone ... (read in full...)

His ex is constantly interfering with our relationship and wants him back!

Q.   I have a major problem with my boyfriends ex. She's always constantly interfering with our relationship for the past two years now. She wanted him back when she knew he was getting together with me, she always calling, texting and chatting with him ...

A.   9 January 2011: Nothing I can add to aunt honesty's lucid and efficient appraisal of your situation; I just came in to commiserate with you. What a pain in the butt! Dump that jerk yesterday! When you find yourself struggling to hold somebody's attention, it's time ... (read in full...)

Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?

Q.   I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...

A.   9 January 2011: I tried to come up with a short answer for your question and failed because it's just too complicated: Men respecting women has its root in moral standards, of which women have ever been the guardians throughout our history. That's the first... (read in full...)

An animal in bed?

Q.   When a guy says, "She's an animal in bed". What does that mean? I'm not into rough sex or anything, but the expression always puts me off a little. ...

A.   9 January 2011: Great title! I'll bet everybody here took at second look at this post! I half-expected something like: "my boyfriend brought the dog into bed with us!" LOL There likely was no insult meant at all, but I might take umbrage with that term myself, ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend did not tell she married for convenience!

Q.   Hallo, i have been seeing my girlfriend for 1 year now. We met on an Internet dating website. I am in my mid thirties and she is in her early twenties, so there's a bit of age difference between us. I must say i am a person who does not find it easy ...

A.   9 January 2011: 'Hans,' a raven and a mockingbird are both certainly birds, but they don't generally nest together, do they? How about a dove and a vulture? I'm describing her personality and yours, not just your surface differences. Wouldn't you have been safer ... (read in full...)

My wife's worker is clearly hitting on her! Is she blind?

Q.   Hi My wife sent a text to a male work mate and his Family stating that his family could stay here if flood waters pushed them out the house they are in. That we have a spare bed for them . His reply was " Thank you for the offer about goin...

A.   9 January 2011: I'm amazed your wife can put up with such rudeness! If somebody tried to kiss MY neck in front of my husband, I'd smack him down before my husband even got the chance to hit him!It's bad enough for him to annoy your wife but he just as good as told ... (read in full...)

I want to be spanked but my husband just cant do it!

Q.   I like to be spanked but my husband just can't bring himself to do this,what can I do to change this and increase our sexlives. ...

A.   8 January 2011: When you ask a question like this one, you have to give more details. What kind of spanking do you want? Just a few smacks on the buttocks to give you a nice tingle or do you want one that actually hurts? Do you want one held over his knee, as one ... (read in full...)

I just want to know what's up with us. Should I make the first move?

Q.   I met a boy named M a little more than a year ago, at the same time as his brother P. They aren't at my school; we were introduced by their aunt, a close friend of my mother's. In fact she brought them directly to my house one night without me ...

A.   8 January 2011: Since you already have a good basis for friendship, how about just letting it take care of itself? You do not have to make any 'moves' at all, for my guess is, HE will, in time, if it's meant to be. The choice is yours but the fact that most of the ... (read in full...)

Why is this man addressing my wife as "my dear"?

Q.   Is it ok if a guy whom I suspect of having an emotional affair with my wife text her addressing her 'my dear...'?? She told me he is interested in her but she is not. And she continue meeting him. Is it alright for her to meet him knowing his ...

A.   8 January 2011: Never mind what HE likes. Did your wife marry you or him? If you are not comfortable with this situation, investigate it as you see fit; who has that right if you don't? Your wife may be telling you the truth but if so, she is using bad judgment ... (read in full...)

I just want to know what's up with us. Should I make the first move?

Q.   I met a boy named M a little more than a year ago, at the same time as his brother P. They aren't at my school; we were introduced by their aunt, a close friend of my mother's. In fact she brought them directly to my house one night without me ...

A.   8 January 2011: Have you had your 'Quinceañera' yet? If not, you're too young for serious flirting but you can build the foundations of friendship at any age. 'Making the first moves' for WHAT, kid? What are you planning to do with that elusive prey when you catch ... (read in full...)

I still love her, but she's sending mixed signals. How do I win her back?

Q.   It's almost two weeks since we broke up. I was very angry at her, we were going through a rough patch. She claims I broke up with her, while she had made it clear that she wanted to be single. As part of my move on strategy, I removed her as my ...

A.   8 January 2011: She likes you! All this blocking and unblocking has taken a fair amount of her time so my guess is, you are on her mind most of the time. This is a mating dance. It's plain as day to me. She's not doing a single thing in 'secret' because she's too ... (read in full...)

Can a relationship work without common interests to talk about?

Q.   I have had a relationship with a girl on the internet for over four months now. We have communicated by email, instant chat and over the phone over this period and are looking to move forward to meeting. I'm getting attached to her as we have s...

A.   8 January 2011: The answer is NO! You can have a short fling with somebody like that but not a relationship. I don't know if anyone has ever told you this but boredom kills! After a while, it anesthetizes you so you can't find the motivation to escape and then life ... (read in full...)

How long is long enough to expect commitment when you are sleeping with a guy??

Q.   I began dating this guy about 2.5 months ago. I had just gotten out of a short term relationship, and before that had a baby and was in a long term before that. He had just gotten out of a divorce a year ago, and the night we first "hooked up...

A.   8 January 2011: You DID make a bargain, girl. Next time you decide to do something like that, keep it short and end it before you get attached. There is no general rule about how long is long enough to ask for attachment; everybody is unique. And yes, asking him ... (read in full...)

I'm getting absolutely sick of my girlfriend and I feel guilty for it

Q.   Hey guys. I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend; we see each other about once a month or once every two months and talk online and on the phone every.single.night. This was FINE at first, when everything was still fresh, you know? ...

A.   8 January 2011: I heartily recommend a book called 'Illusions' by Richard Bach. It's not a long book and you can get a used one cheaply: http://www.amazon.com/Illusions-Adventures-Reluctant-Richard-Bach/dp/0385319258/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1294460918&sr=8-1 You... (read in full...)

What do you think the text he sent could mean?

Q.   So i kindof liked this guy, and he liked me in about a month, he got 2 2nd base with me then told me things were complicated and he couldnt have any type of relashionship right now. Which kindof hurt, so i told him i wouldnt bother him anymore, and ...

A.   8 January 2011: Maybe he had second thoughts about the way he treated you earlier and texting is much easier than face to face. He can keep the situation at arm's length this way. So can you. If I were in your place, I'd keep that distance for a while. Howev... (read in full...)

Did my Neighbor Try To pull a sexual Move on me?

Q.   Hey Guys Thank You for taking the time to read my question. I live in a neighborhood where all the houses are really close, but we all tend to keep to ourselves. I live across from this family and they are nothing but wonderful people! One y...

A.   8 January 2011: in re:why didn't he just come over? His parents may have wisely taught him that outside of housewarmings and emergencies, dropping in on people is bad manners. If you live with your parents, it's their house and he has to wait for an invitati... (read in full...)

My ex dumped me months ago but he's still angry

Q.   I am completely puzzled by my ex boyfriends behaviour. He obviously did not think i was worthy of his love. After 7 yrs and a child together, despite always having to prove to him i was, he still dumped me anyway and cut all contact with us. that...

A.   7 January 2011: Well lady, I don't want to upset you but conscience won't allow me to fail to warn you about something you have clearly not considered. Victims never do think of these things; that's why they're called victims. I do not like the sound of this at ... (read in full...)

My BF, my daughter, my secret lover, his pregnant wife...my life is a mess of lies and I'm miserable

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 years. We were just kids when we got together. Our relationship has had it's ups and downs and for a while my boyfriend treated me like complete garbage. We ended up splitting up for a few months. When we got ...

A.   7 January 2011: Are you married to your boyfriend? You didn't say, so I was a little mystified when you said you and your present lover were both cheating on your spouses. Your lover, on the other hand, IS married? Then, it's hands off unless or until he dissolves ... (read in full...)

Did my Neighbor Try To pull a sexual Move on me?

Q.   Hey Guys Thank You for taking the time to read my question. I live in a neighborhood where all the houses are really close, but we all tend to keep to ourselves. I live across from this family and they are nothing but wonderful people! One y...

A.   6 January 2011: Your neighbor boy might have meant nothing at all, too! I might say 'don't tempt me' if somebody suggests getting a pizza. Maybe he just wants to get out of the house and away from his relatives for a while. You're next door and that's a nice ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is not ashamed of being nude in front of others...

Q.   Last night, we had around 20 people over for a New Years party, and I was trying to fall asleep a little later in the night. I was nearly asleep when someone ran to the bathroom (which is right outside of my room) to inform his girlfriend that my ...

A.   1 January 2011: How old is your boyfriend? Is he perhaps, a professional athlete, a law enforcement officer, a fireman, still enrolled in military school or in active service with the military? This kind of prank is common in all the above, trust me. It's guys ... (read in full...)

*at lady's friends

These are mutual friends, so *at lady has added them and they have added *at lady!

angelDlite agony auntangelDlite
birdynumnums agony auntbirdynumnums
C. Grant agony auntC. Grant
mikkimouse agony auntmikkimouse
snord agony auntsnord

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0937634000001708!