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*inktopaz

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*inktopaz's profile:

I'm 29 and born and raised in California.

I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!

I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.

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Can I be pregnant while on the pill and having regular periods?

Q.   Last week my friend's sister found out she was pregnant and the baby would be born is two weeks. She never had any symptoms or a "typical pregnancy belly". Also she never missed a period,even though they were very irregular. Now I'm scared that thi...

A.   18 March 2015: It's not impossible but not probable. Getting "fatter" usually is from overeating...... (read in full...)

Is it time I ended my two year relationship with him over his disparaging nasty remarks to me?

Q.   My family is going on a vacation. They rented out a nice cabin. They asked my boyfriend if he was interested in possibly coming with. The only catch is they didn't have room in the car for him so he's probably have to drive himself there but they...

A.   7 March 2015: Eww! What a jerk!! Umm your parents are already going to pay for him to stay and he's crying over gas money. Besides that, calling you names to insult your intelligence. What a douche bag! I'm guessing you wouldn't want him to go on this tri... (read in full...)

Do you think it sounds like he just wanted to cuddle?

Q.   Or is there normally always a sexual intent. I've been seeing this guy for quite some months, we haven't slept together yet as we're still getting to know each other etc and the times we've seen each other have been out. However, one night when we ...

A.   7 March 2015: Of course there's sexual intent. He's hoping cuddling leads to boinking.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him

Q.   Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...

A.   28 February 2015: None of this really makes sense. So it's apparent and known that she's absentminded and doesn't really pay attention to her kids...he even has to pay the bills for her, but she's supposed to know how much to give him to buy enough groceries for the ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him

Q.   Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...

A.   27 February 2015: I would probably feel sorry for him too, but I knew someone that did that to their son...and I understood why she did it. He and his gf would eat all the food she'd buy and never replace anything, but anytime they'd buy anything, it was theirs only ... (read in full...)

Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?

Q.   Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...

A.   21 February 2015: She gets it and knows exactly what she's doing, she just doesn't care and wants him back. How about the next time she calls, you answer the phone? :) ... (read in full...)

Why do men expect women to be shaved down below? Porn?

Q.   I'm out of a twenty year marriage so the last time I dates was some years ago. Since being single again it seems most men now expect or want women to be shaved down below. What's going on? I don't remember this ever being a request or even a prefer...

A.   21 February 2015: I think people get used to seeing something and if it doesn't look "that way" then it's unattractive. Maybe it's porn, maybe not...but norms change along with preferences. Body hair is one of them. I mean, your eyebrows as thin as possible... (read in full...)

I like him but he's seven years older and I'm worried my family will freak out

Q.   So lately I've been talking to a guy I really like. The only thing is that I'm 20 and he's 27. I'm worried that my family will freak over the age difference if we do ever become boyfriend and girlfriend. Is the age difference too far apart? What ...

A.   3 March 2014: No, I don't think the age difference is too far apart. 27 probably seems "old" when you're 20, but it's not, and I'm sure your family won't think much of it. Now, if he was 37, then that might raise some eyebrows. I think if it does get serious,... (read in full...)

I know there's no future for me with this guy, but it still bothers me that I haven't heard from him since we broke up

Q.   I broke up with the guy I've been seeing for the past year because we were on different pages. He agreed with it. But then in a moment of weakness, I texted him that I didn't want that. I feel really stupid about texting him, breaking up is t...

A.   2 March 2014: What's going through his head is that you broke up with him, you're on different pages, you obviously don't know what you want, and he figures there's no point in talking to you and starting the whole thing up again and ending with the same result ... (read in full...)

I accidentally missed my first date with a guy. I apologised but has he had enough already? What should I do?

Q.   Hi, I was supposed to meet my online date in person, for the first time, earlier this afternoon. We have been chatting online for approx 2 months and have been looking forward to meeting each other. I, unfortunately was unable to meet him in pers...

A.   1 March 2014: It does sound like you kind of stood him up. I also had trouble understanding why you got there and didn't call him or text him to let him know you were there and couldn't find him, and then just decided to leave and ignore your phone. So ap... (read in full...)

Pregnant and confused! What should I do?

Q.   heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...

A.   28 February 2014: While I consider myself pro-choice (and I've had an abortion before), I also don't consider abortion as a form of birth control. How did you feel after your last abortion? Do you think you're going to be able to handle it emotionally this tim... (read in full...)

Why is it a big deal for my boyfriend and I to be 7 years apart?

Q.   im 14 turning 15 and my lover has just turned 23 and we are pretty far apart in age but does it really matter? we do not have a sexual relationship and nobody except a close adult friend of mine knows, I feel the urge to tell my mother that im in ...

A.   28 February 2014: It's a big deal because (as much as you probably hate to read this or disagree) you're still a child and he's a full-fledged adult. 7-years isn't a big deal if you were 25 and he was 32. And I'm not sure if you picked the title, but he's actually... (read in full...)

Banned at work! Romantic relationships, what to do?

Q.   I work at a place where romantic relationships between employees are banned. I know this woman there, we've both been there for many many years, been friends all this time. I know she has a romantic attraction for me and I am attracted as well. We ...

A.   27 February 2014: I'd keep it under wraps. If you discuss it with management, then it would probably get around because someone always has loose lips and some dramatic person will turn it into a big ordeal. So I'd just keep it under wraps and just make sure it ... (read in full...)

What is left to do safely without getting HPV?

Q.   I am a a 31 year old female recently divorced and now dating again. Recently I got out of an almost year long relationship with a man, and I now test positive for HPV after my Pap Smear. Here is the situation: We did everything right, we both ...

A.   23 February 2014: From what I've heard, it's nearly impossible to really "tell" if you even have HPV (unless you get the strain that causes warts). I even got the stupid Gardasil shot and I still had an abnormal pap smear...my guess and my doctor's guess is that I ... (read in full...)

Broken up for 1.5 years yet still cry almost every day

Q.   Has anyone else ever thought about something an ex did even though you've been broken up for a year and a half? The thing he did was two years ago. I don't want to say what it was. I cry nearly every day. My parents think I'm mentally ill as I ...

A.   23 February 2014: Well you might be depressed. I think 1.5 years is a bit long for you to still carry on about someone. It might help if you talk to a therapist.... (read in full...)

I feel like my boyfriend didn't make enough effort on Valentines Day.

Q.   My boyfriend of 10 months dint give me anything for valentines day, I'm not being superficial but I thought he'd atleast put in some effort because I took a lot of time in picking his gift and brought him 2 things, not that I was expecting anything ...

A.   19 February 2014: One time, I had a boyfriend buy me a trash can for Valentine's Day...flowers and some candles would have been nicer.... (read in full...)

She knew I liked her, ignored me for a year, and is now engaged to someone else. Why message me now?

Q.   So after being ignored by a girl for a year because I told her that I liked her. She has since gotten engaged she sends me a random faceb00k message after a year..."Hi. How you doing?". I reply simply..."I am OK, and u?". She replies..."all good". ...

A.   16 February 2014: I agree with Aunty Babbit, she just wants attention. I wouldn't put too much thought into it because it won't go anywhere. She just needed an ego stroke, even if it was you just replying to her message.... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   13 February 2014: It's not necessarily "OK" to criticize big boobs. But people can criticize anything. As others have said, they're going to try to empathize and tell you why it's OK to have something or not to have something. Same with women complaining abou... (read in full...)

Should I let my husband's co-worker know I know she likes him?

Q.   About 2 weeks ago I went to my husbands office holiday party. It was a fun night. However, it was also the first time I met my husbands new secretary. They both started at about the same time in new positions so I understand the way they must ...

A.   8 February 2014: I think it's enough that you finally met her face-to-face. I'm sure it's easier for her to like your husband and be extra friendly when you were merely someone that she's heard exists, but never met in the flesh. I don't think you should call her... (read in full...)

Why do women at night clubs dress provocatively?

Q.   Why do the girls at the clubs dress like sluts?? We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. One had a dress on so short that her ass was showing and she bent over a few times. Do they really need that much attention?...

A.   6 February 2014: Because that's how you dress at clubs...call me a big ol' slut, but the tighter and the shorter the dress, the better. I haven't been to a club in a few years, but that's because I prefer comfort...and I feel too old now. ... (read in full...)

I expressed my feelings about the relationship and he called me psycho!!!

Q.   Hello all. I've been in a relationship with a man for the last 7 months. We have had plenty of ups and downs but currently we are in a down trend. I sensed he was pulling away about two weeks ago because he had a lot going on in his life. I offered ...

A.   20 January 2014: "So, my questions are this....do you think I was right in trying to express to him how I felt in the relationship? Did I deserve to be talked to like that? Am I doing the right thing by not responding to him (hes usually the one to give the silent ... (read in full...)

Unplanned pregnancy after 1 month of dating and my baby's father isn't staying in regular contact with me!

Q.   I am a 28 years old and pregnant for the first time. The pregnany was unplanned and came as a shock as it happened exactly after a month that me and this guy had started dating. I was living in a muslim country and since I was unmarried I had ...

A.   19 January 2014: Your friend is right. I think it's hard for you to accept that he's not going to be there for you and your child...at least not right now. Look, you only knew him a month and you're pregnant. I really think you should focus on yourself and your... (read in full...)

No contact from boyfriend for 8 days...

Q.   I haven't heard from my boyfriend, of 3 years, since the 9th (8 days). No text, call, message, absolutely nothing. The last time I heard from him he told me he loved me and I'm pretty sure his phone ran out of time the next day which makes it a ...

A.   18 January 2014: I know you want something positive, but any time a guy has done this...boyfriend included, it was because he was too cowardly to actually break up with me. However, after 3-years, he owes you an explanation whether it's over or he needs a breather... (read in full...)

Is this woman just an angry person?

Q.   When she let you down sometimes and has severe mood swings, insults you verbally and acting angry towards you, without a serious reason, what would you do to handle the situation?( my attempt was just ignoring it....) For example: she gets made ab...

A.   14 January 2014: You should dump her. She's not going to change and she doesn't want to. Sounds like she just has a bad personality: no patience, short tempered, and mean. You could do better.... (read in full...)

I'm not feeling too good after hearing about my girlfriend's sexual fantasies!

Q.   Me and my girlfriend were talking about sexual desires and she told me she always wanted to make out with a black guy. Which is ok and I understand because I have sometimes fantasies about asian women. But then we talked about it a bit more and she ...

A.   14 January 2014: A lot of women fantasize about being with a black dude...I have a lot of friends that have fantasized about it and have made it a reality. It's really not that uncommon. It has nothing to do with penis size,there's probably a variety of reasons ... (read in full...)

I thought it was a sensual thing to do, but maybe I'm wrong?

Q.   The other day I was on a date with a friend of mine who I'm kind of seeing casually at the moment. Everything with that is going just fine, but something she said to me really puzzled me. Now I'm not really great at being able to read body language ...

A.   12 January 2014: I like it when a guy touches my face...and if you're making out, I would assume the guy is thinking he wants to "stick his dick in me" whether he's touching my face or not. It's just her, not every girl.... (read in full...)

Ethical dilemma

Q.   Hi there, It's more of an ethical delimma than Love question. I took my car for a state inspection and I was told I need to pay about $ 2000 to have it pass. My car works fine, for the last year i had it ,i just had to replace tires on it. it ...

A.   4 January 2014: Let me guess...you need to get it to pass smog? It's really not the big of a deal, a lot of people take their cars to pass smog where they know that place passes just about everyone. Honestly, this isn't that "ethical" in my opinion, it's pretty ... (read in full...)

Husband said he was just looking for friends, but I'm suspicious

Q.   A little background of my situation. I have been married for almost 6 years. After about a year of happy marriage I found my husband talking with and exchanging nude pictures online. I confronted him and he apologized and promised it would never ...

A.   2 January 2014: What I think you're missing here is this isn't about "forgiveness." Your husband is gay! He likes men. For the rest of his life he will like men and probably cheat on you with men. What you need to ask yourself, is if you can accept him for who ... (read in full...)

What if I wait and then he flakes out?

Q.   Ok, so my boyfriend of 4.5 years says he wants to marry me 'one day' but I feel this is a bit too unspecific after this much time. Am I overreacting? I am 28, he is 26 and he says he can see marriage and kids at some point in the future but not f...

A.   23 December 2013: Kind of like what sageoldguy was saying, but to be more cliché, but why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I don't think you should move in with him until he at least proposes and have a date set because otherwise, he's not going to... (read in full...)

I can't bear the thought of him kissing another girl!

Q.   Do you think that kissing is cheating? When I was with my ex, I would have firmly said no - I really didn't think kisses meant that much and weren't personal, I kissed other people and he did too, it was never sober or with the same person more...

A.   23 December 2013: I personally do think kissing another person is cheating (on the lips that isn't a family member). Some people don't think kissing is cheating. As far as why it bothers you now and not before....could be your relationship is different, you've m... (read in full...)

Every girl needs a bad boy...... right?

Q.   Okay so i need help, theres this boy who i like and he likes me too but people including my friends tell me that he's not a nice person and that he will ruin everything for me such as see other girls. However, when i talk to him i never see that ...

A.   22 December 2013: Yes, every girl needs a bad boy so that they know to never date one again and to know the value of a good guy. You think you see something different than everyone else because you're wearing rose tinted glasses right now. Once he screws you over ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is afraid of getting me pregnant so he wont have sex with me, what to do?

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have been together for four months now, and he barely has sex with me anymore, nowadays most of the time when we're having sex it starts with me practically raping him. I had a fear of getting pregnant, but when I found my ...

A.   20 December 2013: I don't know...take birth control or use condoms? There is no magical answer besides talking to him and taking preventative measures to not become pregnant.... (read in full...)

Why do men send photos of their genitals to women they barely know?

Q.   Okay, inquiring minds must know. This appears to be a relatively new phenomenon, but in all seriousness, why do men send pics of their penises to women? I'm not talking about if you're in a committed relationship or if the girl ASKS for it. I'm...

A.   17 December 2013: My guess is men send it to us because they think we'll like it because they're more visual...I have no idea why otherwise either, because I find it more disgusting than arousing. ... (read in full...)

How do I get this girl to give me a chance?

Q.   I tried to send this in before, but it was rejected. I will try to shorten it up (it was long because I wanted to give as much detail as possible and try to present HER side of the story), and I will try to make it more clear. I am at my wit...

A.   16 December 2013: Honestly, it sounds like in your mind, you're her boyfriend; in her mind, you are not. It seems like you're being too nice, your feelings are getting hurt all the time, you're smothering her, you've been intrusive with the computer thing, and she's ... (read in full...)

I kissed another man, now my husband wants to sleep with someone to "get even"

Q.   I've been married for 3 years and together for 6. I love my husband but we have had our issues in the past I cheated on him 6 months into our relationship by kissing another man he also touched my breasts. Nothing else happened and all contact with ...

A.   15 December 2013: Hmm let me take a guess...you have a 5-month old, so hubby is feeling neglected because you probably don't pay much attention to him anymore so now he want to justify an affair because you kissed someone 5.5 years ago. You know this sounds ... (read in full...)

He wants to go "no contact" after our breakup but the pain is unbearable for me

Q.   hello, I need some advise. I am in the in the mids of breaking up with my bf with whom I am with for 4 years. Is there anyone there who could help me lessen the pain a bit? I have read everywhere that the no contact rule should be applied but I do...

A.   15 December 2013: No contact rule isn't just for TRYING to get someone back, it's for getting OVER someone. You're only going to prolong the pain if you stay in contact with him. Going no contact is the only way to lessen the pain. I've gone no contact on several ... (read in full...)

Friend acted out and hasn't apologized. Should I get her a Christmas gift anyway?

Q.   On the 27th of November my friend tagged me in a status saying Nickelback was "f***ing awesome" and because I was tagged in it, my gran saw it and commented on it saying that the swearing is disgusting and that its not needed. My friend responded in ...

A.   15 December 2013: It honestly sounds like a misunderstanding more than anything. While, I understand that you had to defend your grandmother, your friend wasn't in the wrong. It is her FB that she tagged you in and I'm guessing she's an adult, she doesn't need to ... (read in full...)

Found out about my boyfriend's sexual past and now I'm heartbroken and sick to my stomach

Q.   I love my boyfriend more than anything and I know he loves me too. We are like perfect together and I trust him with all my heart which is really hard since I've been hurt really bad by my ex. We both agreed not to talk about his sexual past. I'm ...

A.   15 December 2013: Well his friend is stupid. Him saying what he told you would bug any girl, virgin or not. And you'll probably get over it, it'll take some time, but you will.... (read in full...)

Does this guy even care? Is he upset? Did I do something wrong here?

Q.   I need some advice. I have been talking (texting) to this guy who I met through a friend for about a month now. He seems interested in me, but I have been very caution about him. The thing that I hate about him is that if I text him, he doesn't ...

A.   14 December 2013: "Does this guy even care? Is he upset? Did I do something wrong here?" To answer your questions: 1. No 2. No 3. No Sounds like a d-bag. Drop him for sure.... (read in full...)

He's prepared to live off mommy's money -- Is this an irreconcilable difference?

Q.   My boyfriend is a spoiled "mama's boy." He's 21 (as am I) and we have been together for four years. His mother is very wealthy, has fancy cars and 6 apartments and recently told him that he will inherit all of this. Since this discovery, my ...

A.   14 December 2013: I'd probably give him an ultimatum on this one. Either he gets his act together and starts to become a responsible adult or you're going to dump him. Myself included, would not want to be with someone like this either. Who wants to be with som... (read in full...)

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