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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?
Q. Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...
A. 20 September 2010: Dress provocatively in private and more demurely in public.... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 18 September 2010: How does sleeping with a hooker once make him make him Hannibel Lecter? Try posting under your own nom de plume instead of anonymous when you are quoting other people incorrectly. ... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 18 September 2010: Judgemental much? A single guy visited a hooker once. He didn't kill puppies or rape anyone. He also didn't put words into anyone else's mouth. X^P... (read in full...)
What does it mean when women press their boobs into you?
Q. What does it mean when girls push their breasts against you, or brush their breasts against you, when in conversation or whatever? Over the years I have met many women who do this. It is not the majority, but certainly not a small minority e...
A. 18 September 2010: Hmmm....
I'm a DD cup, and mine have always seemed to mind their owner's wishes - and frankly, most people know when they have been bumped into. But resting them on someone's shoulder? Yeah, not accidental.
I'm just saying...... (read in full...)
What does it mean when women press their boobs into you?
Q. What does it mean when girls push their breasts against you, or brush their breasts against you, when in conversation or whatever? Over the years I have met many women who do this. It is not the majority, but certainly not a small minority e...
A. 17 September 2010: When it's unintentional, it's at the dentist or the hair salon, due to proximity. At a party, in front of your wife - It's Intentional. It's actually insulting.
Here's the game... "Let's see how long I can hold court and hold your husb... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 17 September 2010: My their's and there's and no's and know's seem to be all buggered up on my computer today. ;^D... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 17 September 2010: I'm assuming that this all happened before he met you and not while he was dating you; so it was a part of the man's past, it happened once, and it in know way defines his character.
He could have chosen to keep this part of his past to hims... (read in full...)
Wedding already paid for but I'm not attracted to her and don't think I love her!
Q. Hi im a 25 yrs old man. I find very difficult for me to say no to other people or to tell anything that will make anybody feel bad. I been almost all my life a strong christian, trying to save myself to my wife. in until i was 23 i had never been in ...
A. 17 September 2010: Hmmmm...
You are not attracted to her, but you can still muster enough to make love. I think this was convenient until it got serious, and their can't be anything more serious than marriage - and a paid wedding to boot. You DO realize that afte... (read in full...)
Why does an ex act mean for no reason?
Q. What does it mean when an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend acts mean to you for no reason at all? ...
A. 15 September 2010: It means they're a jerk and you shouldn't waste any more time thinking about them, Hun.... (read in full...)
I think he just wants sex! how can I change this?
Q. so i just moved to a new area and i met this boy at work and hes completly my type and hes always flirting with me and txtin me but i think he jus wants sex... is there somethin i can do to change that...??? ...
A. 15 September 2010: Yes. Don't sleep with him.
If he wants you, he should at least be willing to get to know you first; like at least 6 months.
By then, he'll at least have either decided that you are more than an easy lay and have taken the time to have fallen f... (read in full...)
My parents have always treated me poorly, preferring my sister to me. Time to walk away?
Q. All the time I was growing up my parents made no secret of the fact my younger sister was the preferred child. From the day she was born they compared us, always to my detriment. Everyone was told that I’d been a horrible baby, forever crying a...
A. 14 September 2010: You didn't say anything about your own life as an adult independent of your birth family.
Do you have your own life; a family of your own, spouse and/or a career?
... (read in full...)
My wife just wants oral!
Q. My wife does not want intercourse or me to touch her, she only wants to do oral to me? she used to never want to do that at all? It has went on for months. I dont know what to think?...
A. 14 September 2010: Well, I for one would miss pleasuring my partner even if they are continuing to please me, that's all part of having a sexual relationship. If you wife is in the same age group as you, mid-thirties, that is usually a time of sexual renaissance for ... (read in full...)
My 14 year old daughter is having sex with a 19 year old. How to handle this?
Q. i walked into my 14 year old step daughters room and found her having sex with her boyfriend who i later found out is 19 the age gap is really worryin me i dont think 14 year old girls would went to have sex do u think he couldve made her do it or ...
A. 13 September 2010: CALL THE COPS - YOUR DAUGHTER IS UNDERAGE.
Who the hell is the responsible parent here??? Yeesh. It's almost like you are asking her permission to parent her. A 19 year old hitting on a 14 year old, well, that's just creepy, and when sex is i... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?
Q. Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...
A. 12 September 2010: Showing you off would imply that you are still looking for something, putting your husband in the position of being cuckolded, which is probably why he doesn't like it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
No matter how pretty you are or how much... (read in full...)
How likely is it for a 40 year old to get pregnant?
Q. I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman who is 40, never been pregnant, and wants to have children. So do I. I'd prefer to be married first, but we are both aware of her biological clock ticking, and marriage may be a while off due to ...
A. 12 September 2010: Why is marriage a while off? It's not a play, it's not a musical, it's not a party or a question of money or location.
It's your vows. Pure and simple.
Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.
I think that her whole system, including her eggs, mi... (read in full...)
He can't take my virginity until he breaks up with his girlfriend!
Q. Me and this boy ive known for years likes eachother problem is that he has a girl,see im a virgin and i wana lose my virginty to him. i really like him. we have fun and everything. i told him he cant take it til he breaks up with her but its ...
A. 12 September 2010: He sounds like a real prize, I can see why you want him so badly.
I think it's great that you want to use your virginity as a bargaining chip, thank goodness you have set a price on it.
If either of these things piss you off, you might want to ... (read in full...)
I gave my daughter the wrong advice and don't know how to make things right
Q. Three girls on the bus the other day told my daughter that her boyfriend was cheating on her. One of the girls has a brother that I think he is a little bit interested in my daughter and I think that she was trying to see if maybe my daughter was ...
A. 11 September 2010: Absolutely what askoldersister said.
Remove yourself and any of your angst from the equation.
Boys and Men hate being humiliated in public - perhaps you can pass that along - and the fact that any time she has relationship problems she shou... (read in full...)
Can my girlfriend become pregnant by rubbing penis on the outside of her vagina?
Q. Hi I want to know whether my girlfriend can fall pregnant from me rubbing my penis against her vagina?And If I place it only in the opening of ehr vagina?If I have ejaculated already?If I have not?She is still a virgin. If I finger her?If sperm...
A. 9 September 2010: The "Hymen" isn't a closed object on a virgin; otherwise her monthly flow wouldn't escape.
The penis will release a few drops of fluid immediately after becoming aroused; and even these few drops have live and mobile sperm in them; so yes, if you ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 4 September 2010: I don't buy this either. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 3 September 2010: Have you tried bribing her?
Maybe "I'll buy you a Hyundai if you do anal?" It might be cheaper than a divorce. Feel free to change the Hyundai to Cartier or buying a Yak for a small village if charity is her thing. If your patience and char... (read in full...)
Should I send her a mixed tape?
Q. My girlfriend has left for boarding school and i won't see her for a month and a bit. Would it be sad to send her a mix tape of songs with missing someone as a meaning?...
A. 3 September 2010: Girls love this kind of stuff. Really. Even better? Writing your own song about her! I know plenty of grown women whose favorite memories are being a "Muse" for some guys talent and have a book or a song written about them. :^D ... (read in full...)
Is my younger brother curious?
Q. Is it cute or is it funny if your younger brother wants to always give you a massage? My brother is 14. If I am just sitting around he likes to sit by me. It's kind of creepy. But I know boys can act weird sometimes but is it normal they he ...
A. 1 September 2010: Yeah, it's creepy. Guys are full of hormones at that age; and he is curious and creepy, but you are the closest thing to a female that he has nearby; and he is allowing this curiosity to make some creepy choices for him. YOU have to set the ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 1 September 2010: ...and what if you like it? What then?
(Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we ponder to deceive...)
Seriously - is having anal sex worth all the angst and the resentment that you seem to harbor towards your wife because she isn't anal cur... (read in full...)
She won't swallow!! Help!
Q. How after 5 years of great sex do I get my girlfriend to swallow? I return the faver to her in every way..oral sex, anal licking, she dose not like oral sex on her but she lets me preform it on her every so often and enjoys it most of the time. She ...
A. 1 September 2010: If she is watching her figure, she might not like the calories! Or, she might not like the taste... It sounds like otherwise like you have no complaints 'in the sack' and that she is adventurous in bed, so you should consider yourself lucky.
P... (read in full...)
Is this love or am I just obsessed?
Q. A few months ago I met a guy and am now in a wonderful relationship with him. The problem I'm having is I feel majorly depressed if I don't get to see him for a day or two. I wasn't even looking for or particularly wanting a relationship. I'...
A. 30 August 2010: It's rather unfair to your love to make him your "everything". Other people can't fill up your entire existence or fill that 'hole in your soul'; you need to do that yourself.
If you make him the focus of your life and the only reason for your... (read in full...)
He wants me to be a housewife without marrying me!
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 5 years. I moved about a year ago to where he lives to be with him. We've been living together for a year now. However, we are fighting a lot. We seem to disagree on a lot of things. He gets mad at me for not ...
A. 30 August 2010: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?
You should have never moved in with this guy in the first place. You probably already had an inkling of the kind of guy he was before you moved in with him, you just hoped that he would change! Peop... (read in full...)
Why do guys feel the need to lie?
Q. Ok,so i just started dating this guy. Granted I have been seeing him for almost two years, but we finally said we would try a "serious relationship". Everything was going good, up until a few days ago, when we had a date planned. So he calls in ...
A. 29 August 2010: How can you call this a relationship if you don't have the nerve to speak your mind or confront him? Or even communicate with each other without having to hide, lie or cover up things to each other? Does your Mom run around hiding things or worry ... (read in full...)
Why do I enjoy cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I'm 16 and I've been with my boyfriend (23) for 7 months and in the past 2 weeks I've cheated on him 3 times with 2 different people. Once was just kissing, 2nd time was kissing and "touching" and the 3rd time I had sex with someone else... I don't ...
A. 29 August 2010: I am surprised that your parents let you date a 23 year old. I suspect he was the person that introduced you to sex at quite a young age. You are young to be this sexually active; but I suspect that you're view on relationships is skewed a bit ... (read in full...)
What now?
Q. ok so like this girl and told her so and she said she only liked me as a friend so i guess the question is what now? i mean i've "come to terms" with her decision i can't help so again, what now?...
A. 22 August 2010: God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I'm not a religious person per se, but this speaks volumes of truth.
... (read in full...)
Stabbed in the heart by her comment...
Q. So this morning was the biggest heart break I could ever handle. I found out my girlfriend... my best friend... my everything cheated on me a month ago. She told me this intoxicated and also took an e pill saying some guy performed oral on her, but ...
A. 21 August 2010: I wish that people who want to go out clubbing would wait until they are ready to have children; I'm thinking that most people here would agree that a Mom should be home most nights to spend time with their kids.
It sounds like she hasn't matu... (read in full...)
My mom found my vibrator!
Q. Okay,well just a few minutes ago I went into my parents room because I have an earache and we were looking for the special tylenol that only works for my ear and I had left the vibrator underneath my pillow the night before and had fallen ...
A. 20 August 2010: *** - the note part was a joke...... (read in full...)
My mom found my vibrator!
Q. Okay,well just a few minutes ago I went into my parents room because I have an earache and we were looking for the special tylenol that only works for my ear and I had left the vibrator underneath my pillow the night before and had fallen ...
A. 20 August 2010: Leave a note on her bed that says...
"Dear Mom, Please stop borrowing my vibrator."
Honestly, she's just as embarrassed as you, she didn't mean to invade your privacy, and she's probably secretly relieved that you know what's what and have a h... (read in full...)
OCD in a relationship
Q. Is there anyone out there in a relationship with someone who has an OCD. I have just started a new relationship and she has told me about hers. I have read a bit about them but don’t fully understand the implications yet. I will read more over t...
A. 20 August 2010: From what you have described, she has a very mild form of OCD and that is fortunate for you both, anon.
If my relative was 15 minutes late - we would have thought he was on time!!! He would be 1 to 3 hours late, consistently. We took to movi... (read in full...)
She gave him a hand job but said it wasn't cheating
Q. I have been married for eight years now, recently my wife found this guy at work, she felt sorry for him, so she moves him into our apartment, so he can heal from an operation on his shoulder. Well let me back up, before he moved in he was stay...
A. 16 August 2010: No, This is just Fucking.
Wait! @%#$!!!
Isn't that cheating?
I'm so confused.
Perhaps you are confused too?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
*sigh*...... (read in full...)
OCD in a relationship
Q. Is there anyone out there in a relationship with someone who has an OCD. I have just started a new relationship and she has told me about hers. I have read a bit about them but don’t fully understand the implications yet. I will read more over t...
A. 16 August 2010: From what I have read, there are two different kinds of OCD; it sounds like your girlfriend has a treatable OCD; the other is OCD Personality Disorder.
If she also is entirely self-focused, has never been able to get out of the house because her ... (read in full...)
Why is he talking "crap" about me after we've had sex?
Q. I slept with a boy I know on Saturday (we were both drunk). Everything was fine and we were talking afterwards. The next morning I was a quite off with him, but I was planning on apologising about this. Today at college however, his best friend came ...
A. 19 June 2010: Mines 56. The jury is still out.... (read in full...)
Is my husband lying about having affairs?
Q. Okay, straight forward, here it goes...Husband and I have been together for 5 years...Where he worked there was a woman who would come over to the house when we had barbeques and stuff...fine. She came over with her boyfriend at the time once, ...
A. 15 June 2010: Say NOTHING to your husband. Be a loving and sweet wife. If you get any more suspicious, he will not slip up and get caught.
Then hire a P.I.
You'll need phone records and account records if he is spending your marital money on his outside ... (read in full...)
My husband wants a three-some. Is that normal?
Q. My husband of 15 yrs and I always had great sex. Two years ago he made a statement that upset me. He said he wanted to have another woman join us because he has been with the same girl for 13 years. He says he loves me and just wants to add ...
A. 15 June 2010: Sure.
Tell him that your friend, Jack, would be happy to oblige.
Funny how they stop asking for a three way when it's "Ladies Choice"... LOL!... (read in full...)
Why is he talking "crap" about me after we've had sex?
Q. I slept with a boy I know on Saturday (we were both drunk). Everything was fine and we were talking afterwards. The next morning I was a quite off with him, but I was planning on apologising about this. Today at college however, his best friend came ...
A. 15 June 2010: If you share the possibility of conceiving a child with someone, it really should be someone who you respect, not regret.
The fact that you didn't respect each other enough to communicate properly afterwards means you didn't know each other well... (read in full...)
How did a back rub turn into him just rubbing my bottom?
Q. Hello, I am a 30 year old woman with a question about men. Okay, I have had this real stressful day and my husband tells me if I will get naked, he will give me a back rub. He spends a little time on my back, neck, and shoulders, but t...
A. 11 June 2010: Lol Askoldersister. That's the most concise answer that explains men ever -
backrub = sex!!!
ROFLMAO!!!
Seriously, once touching starts, ALL guys get distracted. It's not that he lacks compassion for how you were feeling; he's just a norma... (read in full...)
I sent a rose and chocolates to him and got no response!
Q. I work in a hospital on a temporary basis and I had fancied a Doctor who works in a clinic where I have worked a few times. He never spoke to me before but I caught him looking at me several times and once smiling while looking at my body up and ...
A. 29 April 2010: Hi q! I've been away farming!!! How are you?... (read in full...)
I sent a rose and chocolates to him and got no response!
Q. I work in a hospital on a temporary basis and I had fancied a Doctor who works in a clinic where I have worked a few times. He never spoke to me before but I caught him looking at me several times and once smiling while looking at my body up and ...
A. 28 April 2010: I think that sending chocolates, a rose and a note that says "I am thinking of you" would be a lovely thing to do when you are actually IN a relation, but sending them before you have started a relation, at your age and at his age, sorry - but it's ... (read in full...)
Can you REALLY forgive someone after they cheat?
Q. Is it ever possible to have someone cheat in a relationship, and then really forgive someone? If you really forgive that person in your heart, can you still live happily ever after?...
A. 25 April 2010: Forgiving isn't the problem, it's forgetting...
I told my husband that I would forgive him if he ever cheated, I would write "I Forgive You with All My Heart" on his tombstone - it seemed to get the right message across to him when we were firs... (read in full...)
Husband walks out while we are on vacation. Should I put the effort in to stay with him?
Q. Hi, I am a 32 y/o woman who has been in a relationship for the past 6 years and I am totally confused as to whether I should leave my fiance or or not. I really need some help with this. My fiance can be quite controlling and aggresive toward...
A. 19 March 2010: A lot of women like to excuse men's poor behavior and rescue them from themselves, but the fact is, You are looking for a partner! Someone to raise children with!
Stranding you in a foreign country while he goes off and has a "Mantrum" isn't bein... (read in full...)
Husband walks out while we are on vacation. Should I put the effort in to stay with him?
Q. Hi, I am a 32 y/o woman who has been in a relationship for the past 6 years and I am totally confused as to whether I should leave my fiance or or not. I really need some help with this. My fiance can be quite controlling and aggresive toward...
A. 19 March 2010: You are on an emotional rollercoaster - use your brain as the brakes. ... (read in full...)
Husband walks out while we are on vacation. Should I put the effort in to stay with him?
Q. Hi, I am a 32 y/o woman who has been in a relationship for the past 6 years and I am totally confused as to whether I should leave my fiance or or not. I really need some help with this. My fiance can be quite controlling and aggresive toward...
A. 19 March 2010: The things that will attract you to a man will drive you crazy when you marry. The strong and silent type will drive you crazy because you won't be able to communicate, for example...
But Your Man?
A whole different type of crazy.
He took y... (read in full...)
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