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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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Do I have reason to be paranoid about them and express my lack of trust?
Q. hello, i love my girlfriend and we just had our 2 year anniversary. about a year and a half ago she went to china with her ex of 7years. she asked me before hand if i was ok with that and it was a pre planned arrangement with him before we got ...
A. 22 February 2008: You enjoy your relationship with your partner and don't let this come between you. He's (the ex) isn't worth it.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
He's told me he doesn't want to be more than friends but we still "do stuff"!!!
Q. Hello, I am 19 and at college. Over the last 2 years I have grown really close to one of my guy friends and for the last year I have been really attracted to him. For much of this year he flirted with me and even though I knew he liked another gi...
A. 22 February 2008: Good advice from hlskitten, he IS using you and what's more, you're allowing him to! Where is your self respect? Any man is going to flirt with a woman if he knows what he'll get at the end of it. He's told you he's not interested in having ... (read in full...)
How do you convince your partner to give you a blow job without actually asking?
Q. Do most women enjoy giving a blow job or do they do it because their mate pushed them to? How do you convince your mate to do it without you asking and many times giving you the ultimate rejection?...
A. 22 February 2008: Some women love giving fellatio, others hate it! There's no hard and fast rule about this amongst women, it's all a matter of preference. If you want your partner to go there then why don't you bring it up in conversation? Ask her what she would ... (read in full...)
I would love a FFM 3-some with my boyfriend, he says he will but I don't think he's keen.
Q. I am a 19 year old female with a 21 year old boyfriend. We are in a very solid relationship and talk openly about sex. We have been talking and I brought up one of my fantasies of having a FFM threesome. I am all for it, I just feel the he isn't. ...
A. 22 February 2008: For one, if you have a solid relationship with your boyfriend and you don't think he seems keen then you should be able to talk with him more about this to make sure he really doesn't mind going ahead with it. That being said, BOTH of you need to ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with my best friend's ex!!!
Q. Well, I'm in love with this guy... but my friend dated him and they broke up over a year ago, she kinda still likes him. So, I've been talking to him, and I've fallen in love, same with him, he's in love with me. I haven't been this happy in ...
A. 22 February 2008: He's her EX!!! Their relationship was over a year ago but they are not together any more. If you both feel this way about one another then you should tell your friend. If she really is your friend then she shouldn't stand in your way of being ... (read in full...)
Do I have reason to be paranoid about them and express my lack of trust?
Q. hello, i love my girlfriend and we just had our 2 year anniversary. about a year and a half ago she went to china with her ex of 7years. she asked me before hand if i was ok with that and it was a pre planned arrangement with him before we got ...
A. 22 February 2008: How has your girlfriend been with you since she came back from that trip? Did she look as if she missed you? Is she still having a lot of contact with this ex?
It was a heck of a big thing for you to agree to, I must admit and not every boyfrien... (read in full...)
Am I too dependent on him?
Q. Hi, im 19 and my boyfriend is 20. We have been together for 8months now. And we love each other since the day we met. Our feelings increase with each passing day. But recently we have been only seeing each other once a week because we both want our...
A. 21 February 2008: Then you need to change your attitude when you speak to him. When he calls you let him know it's great to hear from him. If you continue to act this way then you know yourself the calls will get less and less, after all who wants to have to "work" ... (read in full...)
We're like ships passing in the night - any advice?
Q. My boyfriend of just under a year(whom I love more than I have ever loved anyone before)and I had a big arguement last night because he feels we don't make love enough. It is usually about twice a week, mostly at weekends. He works late nights ...
A. 21 February 2008: Don't think negatively when he says he feels you and him don't make love enough, take it as a wonderful compliment! He's not saying it to you to make you feel you're not good enough for him, he's saying it BECAUSE he loves you to bits and he loves ... (read in full...)
Am I too dependent on him?
Q. Hi, im 19 and my boyfriend is 20. We have been together for 8months now. And we love each other since the day we met. Our feelings increase with each passing day. But recently we have been only seeing each other once a week because we both want our...
A. 21 February 2008: Hmmmmm something doesn't add up here. Who said "we both want our own space"? Did he initiate that conversation? Sounds to me as if you want to see him more and you resent the fact you only see each other once a week, hence the reason you're cold ... (read in full...)
Am I the bad guy here or am I the victim??
Q. My girl and i had a fight about her x-boyfriend. He calls too much, i think he uses the excuse of haveing a child with her. He would call 2 four times a day. She is six months pregnant with our baby. She is always on the internet facebook; almost...
A. 20 February 2008: Insecurity, doubt and lack of trust, 3 things that can kill a relationship. You need to sit down and talk with her in a civilised, mature manner and let her know of your fears. The first thing - communication, every successful relationship needs ... (read in full...)
My wife is overweight and I don't feel attracted to her anymore
Q. I'm married for 13 years. My wife and I have an 8 year old child. I feel like I'm trapped because I no longer find my wife attractive. The main problem is her weight. She weighs more than I do (83kg). She's packed on the weight ever since the c...
A. 20 February 2008: You have to tread very carefully here as you don't want to hurt her feelings. Just because a woman is overweight, doesn't mean she can't turn you on in the bedroom. There is lots you can do to spice up your sex life if you just talk about it ... (read in full...)
I have never been subjected to being dominated by a girl before, should I let her do with me what she pleases?...
Q. I recently bumped into a female friend from years ago. There was some chemistry in the air and we reacted. The other day when this girl came to see me, She totally sexually dominated me and told me point blnak what she was doing I was bit take...
A. 20 February 2008: Tell her you're cool about it (if you are of course) but set BOUNDARIES!!! Don't let her get you into a situation you can't get out of eg tied up and unable to get free or it could turn out nasty. You NEED to set boundaries with her or she'll ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep randomly thinking about my ex girlfriend?
Q. I've been apart from my ex girlfriend for a long time now. Nearly a year. But it still doesn't take much for my mind to wander back to her. I was driving today, and while I'm sat in the car with nobody to talk to, and only the radio to listen to my ...
A. 20 February 2008: You don't say how you and her split up but you are obviously still very fond of her. You have a history together and it's natural that you will think of her from time to time, especially when you see something that reminds you of her.
When ... (read in full...)
How to fix a Long distace relationship
Q. Hello, can anyone help? I am in a long distance relationship with a girl in New Zealand. I live in the UK. We are both 37 We have been together for one year and have met up 4 times. We text and phone all the time and the relationship is goo...
A. 20 February 2008: How does she sound on the phone when you speak with her? Does she sound distant? It would be madness to take such a big step without being 100% sure that there was no animosity between you. You have to ask her! Be straight with her and tell her ... (read in full...)
He's too clingy!!!!!
Q. It's like I'm being suffocated!!!! My boyfriend is so clingy!!! I don't know how to get him to give me some space!!!! I mean when I want to be with my friends he gets all mad!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! Should I break up with him or should I ignore ...
A. 20 February 2008: Tell him that you need some space to be with your friends and do your studies some nights too. Let him know that you don't want to break up with him, you like him a lot - but you do need to balance things, seeing one another so often (especially ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I don't like him anymore??
Q. Me and boyfriend started seeing each other in year 7. It was really fun we were always talking and laughing where in yr 10 now and i feel like hes got bored of me he just want to kiss all the time and wont let me see my really good friends. I need...
A. 19 February 2008: It's never easy to break up with someone, especially when you've been together a while. Here's a link that should help you tell him that you want to call it a day and break up with him with sensitivity.
http:... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to Man up?!
Q. Is there a site where professional women can talk about their lives with blue-collar husbands? I heard something about that on 20/20 or something, but I really didn’t catch more detailed info. When I got married in my early 20s I was a junior a...
A. 19 February 2008: Try telling him what you LOVE about him rather than what he's doing wrong. TELL him you think he's gorgeous, TELL him he makes you laugh. That alone will give him confidence. And if he does make a decision about something, no matter how small ... (read in full...)
Attempting anal for the first time... Should I use gloves?
Q. Heya how you doing. I think the site is wonderful and i'm sure you can help me with my problem, ok here it goes, I'm 22 year old dmale and i want to try out my fantasy of anal sex with my gf, didn't think she would agree to it but she did and we are ...
A. 19 February 2008: lmao at Tellulah. Looks like there's more to this anal sex than I ever thought!?!?!?! Gloves... and now sheepskin mittens? pmsl Maybe you should wear flippers too, that way you won't scratch her legs! rofllll. Sorry... I just think this is ... (read in full...)
I might have a second chance, how do I make it clear I won't break his heart again?
Q. A couple of months ago, an ex-boyfriend from 10 years ago emailed me from out of the blue to say hi. He was the sweetest guy that I have ever dated, but I was very immature at that time. I may have broken his heart as I was his first girlfriend. ...
A. 19 February 2008: Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. It's a good way to understand the male intimacy cycle. It involves getting close, pulling away then getting close again. Most women are ... (read in full...)
I don't want to loose it all, but what can I do?
Q. I am married with a wonderful and dedicated wife and have 2 kids. I also have a foreign girlfriend who is based in my home country. I have been with her for over 3 years. We have enjoyed the best sex life, among other times like trips together. In ...
A. 19 February 2008: There comes a time in everyone's life when they sit back and look at the cards being dealt to them in life and decide whether or not they like what they see. This time has come for your girlfriend. She's had enough of playing second fiddle to your ... (read in full...)
Attempting anal for the first time... Should I use gloves?
Q. Heya how you doing. I think the site is wonderful and i'm sure you can help me with my problem, ok here it goes, I'm 22 year old dmale and i want to try out my fantasy of anal sex with my gf, didn't think she would agree to it but she did and we are ...
A. 18 February 2008: Sorry for laughing, this is not a surgical procedure, it's another form of making love to someone! Noooooo, you don't need to use gloves (still laughing). The anus has it's own lubricant which will kick in once stimulated but yes, added ... (read in full...)
I might have a second chance, how do I make it clear I won't break his heart again?
Q. A couple of months ago, an ex-boyfriend from 10 years ago emailed me from out of the blue to say hi. He was the sweetest guy that I have ever dated, but I was very immature at that time. I may have broken his heart as I was his first girlfriend. ...
A. 18 February 2008: He's definitely interested in you and what he's doing is perfectly normal. Any man who has feelings for a woman will pull away afterwards, just like a rubber band. If there's no pressure put on the band then it will come back again but if pressure ... (read in full...)
I missed my chance, what do I do now?
Q. Hi, really hope you can help me. I knew this guy when i was in college (just as an acquaintance). He moved to another country for work. we got in touch online and hve chatted a lot of times. I really started to like him, but i thot i'd tell him when...
A. 18 February 2008: Send him a simple email and let him know that you're really happy he seems to have found what he's looking for. Let him know you can't get online as much because you have other things that are keeping you busy, you hope it all works out and he ... (read in full...)
I can't stand him looking at other girls! What do I do?
Q. I am married to a gorgeous guy much younger than me and we are basically very happy. I just need helpwith one thing...... he really stares at other women. I've talked to him about it and he reassures me how muchhe loves me and says he finds it ...
A. 18 February 2008: You did the right thing, to smile at her while thinking to yourself. "Yes he IS gorgeous isn't he... and he's MINE!!!!"
You have nothing to worry about here with your husband, just make sure to "feed" him regularly... use those womanly wiles go... (read in full...)
My wife has left and I'm so confused and scared, please help!
Q. My wife has suddenly decided we are over. She ahs been contacted by an old boyfriend from Jr. High. We have had intimacy problems ever since becoming serious in our relationship. She has had an abusive past and was really dumped on by her first ...
A. 18 February 2008: The issues I see here are
1. Intimacy problems (I'd need to know more about that) 2. Favouritism (in her opinion) over your daughter
3. Listening but NOT listening to what she's saying
4. Her abusive past
It seems to me she's been crying out... (read in full...)
I can't stand him looking at other girls! What do I do?
Q. I am married to a gorgeous guy much younger than me and we are basically very happy. I just need helpwith one thing...... he really stares at other women. I've talked to him about it and he reassures me how muchhe loves me and says he finds it ...
A. 18 February 2008: Do you trust him? Are you happy and confident with yourself? If the answer is yes to those 2 questions then you have nothing to worry about. We all get a little jealous sometimes when we see our partner eyeing up another woman, it's only natural. ... (read in full...)
I've got back with my husband and it meant moving to his country, But I'm not happy here. What do I do?
Q. Hi, please advise me, i have recently gone back to my marriage, which ment me moving to the country where my husband is from, i am here because of my husband and to save our marriage, as i believed that if i had not come over to him our marriage ...
A. 18 February 2008: I assume you were married in the UK? What drove your husband back to his home country? How long were you apart and how long have you been married?
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Why am I the only person left thats not met, and stayed with someone special???
Q. I've just been rejected, and I'm trying to move on again. I've been rejected before -- in fact, my success rate is abysmal. It used to be because I was too shy to persue girls. I'm still shy now, of course, but I at least try. I've covered all the ...
A. 18 February 2008: You're trying too hard and coming across as too desperate. Women can sense this in a guy. I bet you make jokes about it all the time to your mates. Try going to different places, meet new friends, take up a new hobby or something you'd NEVER ... (read in full...)
Why am I the only person left thats not met, and stayed with someone special???
Q. I've just been rejected, and I'm trying to move on again. I've been rejected before -- in fact, my success rate is abysmal. It used to be because I was too shy to persue girls. I'm still shy now, of course, but I at least try. I've covered all the ...
A. 18 February 2008: You're trying too hard and coming across as too desperate. Women can sense this in a guy. I bet you make jokes about it all the time to your mates. Try going to different places, meet new friends, take up a new hobby or something you'd NEVER ... (read in full...)
Who are Leo's most compatible with?
Q. What are Leo's more compatible with? I mean like I am a leo star sign and I do not know which star sign I am more compatible with?...
A. 18 February 2008: Astrology is actually one of my hobbies and I sincerely believe you can tell a lot from a person's sun/star sign. Of course if you want a more indepth reading of your character then you would need to have your chart done but the 12 sun signs give a ... (read in full...)
I feel as if I'm addicted to stealing money from my parents...
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I find myself stealing money from my parents now and again, like £20 at a time. I really want to stop, but I can't. I feel as if I'm addicted. HELP!...
A. 18 February 2008: Sit down with your mum and talk to her about it. Tell her you've done something very wrong and want to tell her about it then once you've got it off your chest, tell her you're sorry. If she sees you're genuine about this then she'll talk to you ... (read in full...)
My bf is sweet when we are alone but makes nasty comments when his friends are near. I find it very hurtful. What to do?
Q. my boyfriend acts different around his friends. like he'll be really sweet around me, and say all the right things, and then when he's with his friends he'll be a total retarded jerk. But i dont say anything because i try to understand him, that he ...
A. 18 February 2008: He is totally disrespecting you, pulling you down in front of his friends. How old is he???? If he DID have genuinely deep feelings for you then you would never feel threatened or small in his company. You do need to tell him how you feel and he ... (read in full...)
Sex was painful with my partner, has anyone got any ideas on how to make it less so?
Q. I made love with my boyfriend for the first time last night. I have been with him for 8 months and I have been on the Pill for 3 of those months. It is the first time I have ever made love with the partner not wearing a condom and would like some ...
A. 18 February 2008: I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you might have subconsciously been worried because a condom wasn't being used and this has caused you to tense up. As long as you know he is clean and free of STD's and you are taking contraception ... (read in full...)
What do I mean to this man? Am I just a friend he has over for sex?
Q. Hi I met a guy a while ago and we got on really well. We met a few times then he went on business for two weeks during which time we texted and e-mailed and it got more and more erotic. When we met again it was weird, it went really flat. We...
A. 18 February 2008: When we talk with someone online, we can imagine them to be whoever we want them to be. The chemistry certainly seems to be there when you both talk online/email/text but doesn't seem to be as strong when you are actually together.
I suggest ... (read in full...)
Is sex wrong at young age?
Q. is sex a wrong thing at young age i need help because a girl wants to do it with me but i don't know help me please!!!!!...
A. 18 February 2008: It's not only wrong IT'S AGAINST THE LAW!!!!
~Eve~... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want sex.
Q. My husband is no longer interested in having sex... I am 27 years of age, he is 33. We are both (physically) in fantastic athletic shape and have no kids. We have been married for almost 6 years now, and we are both working in the same industry ...
A. 17 February 2008: I think your husband may be working too hard. Why don't you both take a break from work and go off on a nice romantic weekend together. Not only will it give you a chance to get close again physically but you would have the time to spend quality ... (read in full...)
I was wondering if agony aunts get paid?
Q. could you please tell me do agony aunts get paid or is it a service they provide for free,thank you....
A. 17 February 2008: Nooooooooo Pete, he pays me (money) too!!! (winks to Andrew) lmao
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Not like the other dreams I've had about my teacher...
Q. This is about a dream I've had. I've possibly had hundreds of dreams about my teacher for the past three years. I can't explain why I love him, I just do. I know that he's not anything I need, but somehow I keep falling for him over and over aga...
A. 16 February 2008: You would love more with this teacher signified by the bed in this dream which symbolises your "intimate self" but you are intelligent enough and sensible enough to know there is no way you can possibly have him and this frustration is coming out ... (read in full...)
I slept with my sister's ex husband and I feel terrible about it!
Q. I feel in a terrible situation, I went out the other night and got quite drunk, I bumped into my sister's ex-husband, they have been divorced for about 7 years, we started to dance with each other, chatted about old times but it didn't stop there, ...
A. 16 February 2008: I am very close to my sister too but I think on this occasion you are right NOT to mention it to her. It's definitely not worth the pain and upset. You have made the right decision not to say. Just make sure it NEVER happens again! Good luck.
... (read in full...)
How do I get over this girl?
Q. Hey , i known this girl for around 4 or so years, weve dated twice and its a bit complicted, we dated for a couple mopnths when we were younger but it was nothing serious, she would have liked it to have been although at the time i didnt quite know ...
A. 16 February 2008: I think this girl is the first girl you seriously liked... a lot! You just didn't know how to tell her that at the time due to your immaturity. She slipped through your fingers and you wanted to try again and when things were good they were GREAT! ... (read in full...)
How do I get over feeling so insecure?
Q. Whenever I'm in a relationship I end up always feeling down, sad, insecure and worry about lots of little things and fear the worst- me and my bf breaking up. I hate feeling like this as it totaly consumes me. But the thing is I dont know why I feel ...
A. 16 February 2008: If you keep thinking negative thoughts all the time when you're in a relationship then that will spill over on your partner. Instead you need to enjoy being with them, have fun and let them see that you're fun to be with.
Is there somethin... (read in full...)
Any tips for getting over being messed over by a guy?
Q. Hi, Has anybody got any tips for getting over being messed about by a guy. I keep thinking about him all the time. Sometimes I'm angry at what he did, sometimes I remember the chemistry we had and I'm hoping he will call me, other times I'm trying...
A. 16 February 2008: So what happened? How has he messed you about? What did he do? Were you going out together? I'm afraid I'll need more information before I can even begin to reply.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
I slept with my sister's ex husband and I feel terrible about it!
Q. I feel in a terrible situation, I went out the other night and got quite drunk, I bumped into my sister's ex-husband, they have been divorced for about 7 years, we started to dance with each other, chatted about old times but it didn't stop there, ...
A. 15 February 2008: No, thankfully I have never been in your situation before. It's not the end of the world though. You've come to your senses now. Although your sister is no longer with him, I'm sure she would be appalled that you did what you did so the sooner ... (read in full...)
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