A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Has anybody got any tips for getting over being messed about by a guy. I keep thinking about him all the time. Sometimes I'm angry at what he did, sometimes I remember the chemistry we had and I'm hoping he will call me, other times I'm trying to figure out why he did what he did and what he thinks about me... its driving me crazy! I wish I could move on and forget but these thoughts keep distracting me whether I'm at work, watching a film, doing the washing up anything!!! I know meeting someone else would do the trick, but that is not that easy as we all know!!!Any tips would be most appreciated!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (17 February 2008):
 Forgot to say, choose one that you REALLY believe in.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (17 February 2008):
Yes. Help other people. Certainly puts your own problem into context. Contrast your problem with those suffering famine; horrors of intrusive war or some physical/mental restriction.
You can help the big organisations like UNICEF and OXFAM and others, or make a more direct contribution to something small + local. Downs syndrome childrens home; a home for the blind; or sign up for Samaritans. Anything from visiting and being a mentor, active fundraising or being on a committee.
A good place to start is at your local Volunteer Centre or Volunteer Bureau.
Try websites, volunteering.org; and do it.org
Take care , Richard
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A
male
reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (17 February 2008):
Me like AskEve would like to know more about how he messed you up.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 And...you're going through the same thing as me... What is in the water?
Trying to forget someone that you liked a lot and who threw you for a loop is a challenge and I know for me I too have similar attention at work, home, etc issues. It's hard. I go out with friends a lot and am open to meeting someone else to take this pain away but I have no clue where to meet these new men either.
I am going to take up a hobby that men would also like to do. That will keep me busy AND maybe I'll meet some new men. Try that. The other thing I did was make a list of negatives. When I'm feeling sad that I am not with him I take out that list and say to myself, I am better off alone. Still, being lonely makes your mind wander and to try to analyze a situation. When you start that it will make you crazy. I had a friend tell me...stick to the facts. Don't analyze. That way, you have no choice but to move on.
I'm sorry you and the anonymous woman are going through this tough time. Remember, you are NOT alone. And there are probably just as many men out there along with us.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 February 2008):
 So what happened? How has he messed you about? What did he do? Were you going out together? I'm afraid I'll need more information before I can even begin to reply.
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, anonymous woman +, writes (16 February 2008):
seems like to me, your going through the similar situation as me. Keep your head up, try to make sure that nothings there before you give up.
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