A
female
age
,
*ercedes9177
writes:HiI met a guy a while ago and we got on really well. We met a few times then he went on business for two weeks during which time we texted and e-mailed and it got more and more erotic. When we met again it was weird, it went really flat. We parted by mutual consent. Doesn't take much working out that we'd invented soemthing that we had no hope of fulfilling but I was upset and disappointed that the potential was there and we never fulfilled it.He contacted me again at Christmas and we've been seeing each other. He lives alone and I have children (16 and 18) so it's better for me to go to him but he decides when we meet. Currently once a week, never at weekends tho I'm pretty sure there isn't another woman.He mails a couple of times a day, is affectionate and caring when I'm with him and talks about stuff we'll do in the future (i.e. the next few weeks). So am I just a friend he has over for sex? Is he worried after last time? Am I just a stopgap?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): From what you've described, it seems like he does have feelings for you, but something seems a little.. fishy, here. I don't know what it is - maybe he does like you, but enjoys the sex more. It sounds harsh, but he could just be using you. He's obviously playing by his own rules here - you need to have some say in the decisions that he makes, like when to see you. If he's got it into his head that you'll just go round his when he likes, have sex, and then go, then this isn't fair on you. You deserve more than that. Personally, I think you should ask him if he actually has feelings for you, because otherwise you need to rethink this relationship.
Also, it can be much easier to get on with someone through text and email, because you have time to think what to say, and you don't have to see them face to face. If you can't get on as well in actual face to face conversations, then maybe you two just aren't destined to be together. But whatever happens, I hope it goes well. Good luck :]
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reader, AskEve +, writes (18 February 2008):
 When we talk with someone online, we can imagine them to be whoever we want them to be. The chemistry certainly seems to be there when you both talk online/email/text but doesn't seem to be as strong when you are actually together.
I suggest you continue to see him but DON'T be too quick to jump into bed with him. Let him wine and dine you, get to know you better and you him. Tell him you want to slow things down a bit. It's a bit strange that he won't see you at weekends, has he said why? Does he have any baggage? I take it you've been to his home?
~Eve~
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