Am I self sabotaging because I can’t trust men?
Q. I met an older guy a few weeks ago through work. He messaged me and we just got talking none stop. I found him really nice while working with him, even though it was briefly and he was saying all the right things. We went on a date and I met h...
A. 26 July 2021: I think that you have got to give him the benefit of the doubt here as he could very well have needed to take him mother to the hospital, then have his son stay with him for the weekend.
This relationship is still very much in its infancy,... (read in full...)
My drunk texts have caused a problem
Q. I have been an absolute idiot and I’m so embarrassed. I met up with a friend yesterday, a few afternoon beers turned into a few more and by 6pm we were streaming. We were having a good laugh and chat. Anyway, obviously due to covid we were catching...
A. 26 July 2021: Ok you have sent some drunken texts that you regret sending, and that you should not have sent her.
What is done, you can't unscramble scrambled eggs op, you have apologised which is all you can do at this point so all you can do is leave the ball... (read in full...)
I feel I’m not good enough for my husband no matter what.
Q. I feel I’m not good enough for my husband no matter what. If we go the beach like we did tonight and a woman as s bikini or costume on he will look. She could be over weight even not much to look at but he will keep doing it. Tells me I’ve got it ...
A. 24 July 2021: At the end of the day he is married to you, and i'm guessing you have been married for a good number of years.
By his own admission he already tells you he loves you, and you only, and that he thinks your sexy.
Sometimes in situations like ... (read in full...)
Does he like me but can't do anything about it because he's married?
Q. Hello So I'm very confused about a situation I'm experiencing. Is this guy flirting with me? So he's married, I;ve heard things that suggest he isn't happy but I have no certainty. Yes I kind of like him but he doesnt know and I'd never act on...
A. 24 July 2021: There are two major red flags all over this post which surely must be screaming out at you.
1. he is married, this alone is enough reason to steer clear.
2. You work together in a professional capacity.
You are asking the question does... (read in full...)
I got involved with him even though he has a girlfriend and its Long distance
Q. Hi dear agony aunts, I met J last month when i went on vacation (He lives in that country but we have the same nationality) A week later, we started going out and after one particular night out with other friends, he said we could go to his place...
A. 24 July 2021: OP this guy wants his cake and eat it, he wants to keep his girlfriend and keep you dangling on the side.
Its the same advice i would give a mistress dating a married man, it never has a happy ending.
He is nothing but a player really, h... (read in full...)
Do you think I have a right to be upset at my husband for complimenting another woman in my presence?
Q. Is it normal for your husband to compliment another woman in front of you? For example, yesterday he told this acquaintance of ours in my presence that she looks like she is in good shape after we ran into her and her husband at the mall. I have put ...
A. 23 July 2021: I don't know how long he has known her, or the kind of relationship he has with her, but i think to comment on how good she looks in front of you and her husband is a rather strange comment to make, it almost feels like it was more like a dig at ... (read in full...)
I don't like that my current boyfriend was into threesomes
Q. My boyfriend recently admitted he's had a threesome in the past and I can't seem to look past it. It's just made me look at him in a completely different light now. I know everyone has a past but I can't help but feel embarrassed FOR HIM over it. ...
A. 21 July 2021: You have to understand that each and everyone of us has a past, unless someone has been living under a rock for the past 10 years its something we can't get away from.
The issue here is not about him having a threesome with two girls. The issue is... (read in full...)
How pushy is too pushy?
Q. I was good friends with a cute guy a few years younger than myself. We lost touch but then at New Year I wished him a Happy New Year which he sent a sweet message back. The other month I sent him another message but this time he didn't reply, but I ...
A. 21 July 2021: I guess the New Years message was a popular time for people to get messages wishing them happy New Year and he replied to your message along with all the other people that were texting him as well.
I don't know what you wrote in the next message ... (read in full...)
Childhood friend has turned into a bully
Q. I’ve had a childhood friend ask me for so many favors like borrow money but then can’t pay it back or takes months. Then he will take me out to eat only to charge it for me later by saying he owes me less. He also told two people I was molested ...
A. 21 July 2021: I had to double look at the age bracket here after reading this post, as this sounds like high school drama.
By your own admission you are both nearly 40 years old, i think its time you nip this in the bud and move on from this.
Yes you have ... (read in full...)
We gave our friend money for their wedding and they never acknowledged us
Q. My friend recently got married and both her and her fiancé were struggling financially so were cutting corners on their wedding. My husband and I felt bad for them as the financial side of the pandemic hit them hard- they both have jobs b...
A. 19 July 2021: I know a wedding is a busy time with lots going on, preperations, then honey moon etc. But this is still no excuse to be ungrateful, and rather rude.
It is normal after a wedding when things have calmed down and settled thank you notes are sent... (read in full...)
Is it right for my 15-year old son to date an 18-Year old girl?
Q. My 15-year old son has recently started going out with an 18 year old girl. Is it just me or does this seem really inappropriate? Don’t get me wrong she’s a nice person and he seems to be really smitten with her but she is technically an a...
A. 19 July 2021: personally i don't think that a 3 year age gap is an awful lot, it just seems a lot because he is 15, but he is not going to be 15 forever.
My niece is 3 years older that her boyfriend, they met when he was 17 and she was 20, and they are stil... (read in full...)
Chance Meeting or Fate?
Q. Hi - A guy I had a slight crush on a couple of years ago, bumps into me recently in a busy city centre. We hadn't seen each other for a couple of years but chatted away like good friends. I desperately want him to keep in touch with me (we have eac...
A. 19 July 2021: I agree with the other aunts, this was not fate but pure chance.
I feel things would have blossomed between the pair of you a long time ago if he truly had feelings for you, and would certainly have made more of an effort to stay in touch.
... (read in full...)
I haven't seen my b/f in 2 months and he keeps making excuses
Q. My boyfriend keeps making excuses not to see me I haven't seen him for two months now he lives local he keeps saying he's busy with work. He takes 5 days to answer a text as well I want a relationship and it doesn't feel like one anymore. I get ...
A. 12 July 2021: I think that you should have finished this relationship after one month of this behaviour. He is to gutless to end things, resulting in him ignoring you and making lame excuses.
You should absolutely 100% finish with him and move on, and while yo... (read in full...)
Why does he look at me when touching my breasts
Q. Quick question. My boyfriend loves to play with my breasts and I sometimes wondered why he keeps looking at me when he touched my breasts. And I feel embarrassed when he looks at me. Every time I tell him not to look at me, he just smiled and will ...
A. 10 July 2021: Its hard to say why he keeps looking at you, maybe because he is right in front of you he does not have many other places to look while he fondels.
Or maybe he just likes to see you enjoying the experience. ... (read in full...)
Cheater FWb
Q. Thank you for reading this.. I would like your opinions because I need to make a decsicion ….We have been friends w benefits for the last 3 years. I trusted him a lot we would see each other every weekend. It was pretty stable. Until last month ...
A. 10 July 2021: This is a friends with benefits set up, no strings, so i'm guessing you both know what this title meant when you gave it this label 3 years ago.
He is basically a free agent, entitled to see, do, text, sleep with, or ask for saucy pictures... (read in full...)
Things have never been the same since I cheated on my boyfriend. He just does whatever he wants
Q. My boyfriend is disappearing off on a lads holiday next month the same weekend as our anniversary. It’s really annoyed me but he doesn’t care a bit. To be honest our whole relationship has been tainted for a while and it’s all my fault. I cheated ...
A. 9 July 2021: This is the outcome of being unfaithful, the damage is often unrepairable as you are finding out.
Although at times things might seem normal on the surface, he just can't and probably never will be able to erase this from his memory and will alw... (read in full...)
Unemployed boyfriend expects me to take care of him and pay his bills
Q. Thanks for listening! So, my fiancee and I have been together about 2 years. He is currently unemployed no fault of his own and looking for employment. However, he acts like I should be paying for everything. I don't mind helping out some...
A. 8 July 2021: No i don't think that you are wrong, he is your fiancee, not your child.
He has become to expectant on you, because you have paid for things a few times he now thinks of this as normality. If you keep paying for everything you are giving him more... (read in full...)
Engaged to someone new, but still thinking of my Ex!
Q. Dear Cupids, I have been engaged to my boyfriend of 1 year for a month now. He is great, kind, loving, romantic, hard working etc. etc. of course with a few shortcomings that we all have. Recently though, I have become obsessed with thoughts o...
A. 6 July 2021: I think that if you are still having these feelings about your ex then you should not be engaged to your current partner as you are lying to him.
If you continue this you are starting at new life with your current partner built on lies, and this... (read in full...)
How do I get my sister-in-law to back off asking about us having children?
Q. My brother and sister-in-law are pregnant. I am married. The problem is my sister-in-law keeps on asking me questions like "When are you and your wife are going to have kids?" and making comments such as "It would be nice if our kid will have so...
A. 5 July 2021: I think you just have to be brutally honest with her. The next time she ask's you this just sternly say that you and your wife don't have plans for kids.
If she ever ask's you again, just tell her did you not hear me loud and clear the last tim... (read in full...)
Mixed messages from my date
Q. I’ve been on the dating apps for a few months and met some nice guys, but didn’t really click with anyone. Then I met the son of a family friend recently at a family dinner. We’re the same age and he had just moved to the same town as me. We ...
A. 5 July 2021: He does sound like he has got some compulsive issues that need addressing. It's really early days, he has come on really strong, burning your phone out, blasting you with texts left right and center. Then you tell him you want to take things slow ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dotes on me so why am I so paranoid?
Q. I’m so paranoid about my boyfriend leaving me that I’ve been waiting on him hand and foot and being overly sexual with him. Before you all start calling him a pig who treats me like shit, he’s not. He’s the sweetest, kindest, most caring man ...
A. 5 July 2021: There is only one way you are going to change things and its all starts with yourself.
You need to start valuing your self worth, start loving yourself more.
You have been together for 3 years, and in all this time he has never given you a reas... (read in full...)
What would cause someone to act like this?
Q. Hello, I have a confusing problem with a guy at work. I think he greatly dislikes me, although I have no idea why. This guy, was recently hired about 2 months ago. I was friendly to him like I am to everyone, but he avoids me every chance he...
A. 2 July 2021: There is no way of knowing why he is acting like this, and from now on in i don't think it should be a concerning factor for you.
Its a place of work, you are there to do a job, as is he also. If he chooses to ignor you then that's down to him. ... (read in full...)
He acts like a boyfriend but will not commit
Q. I've got myself into a situation and think I need to walk away but it hurts too much. I've fallen in love with this guy. Id class him as a mate. He's picked me up when I've been at rock bottom and we message all day every day. We were supposed to...
A. 30 June 2021: I think that the feelings that you have for him are stronger than the feelings he has for you.
You stopped having sex because you declared your feelings for him, this say's it all really.
I think if he met someone else the visits to you wo... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfriends actions on the cell phone
Q. Hi and thank you!! Little background. I have been dating for about 2 years. At times it's been a roller coaster. My boyfriend has been caught on hook up sites, ( he denies it's his, apparently it's his friends) of course I don't buy it. ...
A. 30 June 2021: He has given you reason to distrust him as you have caught him out being on hook up sites.
Trust is one of the most important contributing factors that bind a relationship together, without trust a relationship will head for a downward spiral. ... (read in full...)
Loves to Fly Solo Doesn't Want Partnered Play
Q. Hi. My wife and I have been together for over 37 years. We have a contentious relationship, but used to have a great sex life. In the last 10 years it has been decreasing steadily to a frequency of once per month if I lobby hard. She typically says ...
A. 25 June 2021: When you ask her if she took care of business while you were away, assuming you mean in a sexual way, and she tells you never, how do you come to the conclusion that she masturbates with a toy nightly, 5 times a week?.
Surely you can't tell thi... (read in full...)
Should I act on my feelings for my friend or continue dating the new girl and see what happens?
Q. I’ve got myself into a sticky situation and I don’t know what to do - please help! I have this female friend I have known since we were kids. I’ve always had a slight thing for her. She’s stunning, a genuinely nice person and an all around good ...
A. 23 June 2021: I think in your heart of hearts you know what the correct thing to do would be.
I think you should finish things with the woman that is 6 years younger than you. Your feelings for your friend supersede the feelings you have for her, and the long... (read in full...)
I got drunk and woke up naked in bed with my flatmate
Q. Last night I was drinking with my flatmates and they gave me beer - me: female 31 and them: males 38 and 39 and I just went through a breakup. So I woke up this morning in my flatmates bed naked. I don't find him attractive at all. Infact I was ...
A. 23 June 2021: Just treat this experience as a learning curve, and know for next time not to do this again.
If you have a beer with them again, don't drink so much that you can't remember what you did. I don't know how well you know them, or how long you have... (read in full...)
My wife is having an affair with my father
Q. I have been married to my wife Lisa for 14 years, we met in April 2005 when I was 24 years old and she was 23 and began dating 6 weeks later. We have a 6-year-old son, Simon (not his real name). I recently found out my wife has been cheating on...
A. 23 June 2021: You have heard a lot about this from your wife and her perspective on things, and what she is going to do. But from your post you have not heard anything about this from your Dad, or indeed if its even true.
It would be a foolish move on your Fat... (read in full...)
I am 15 years younger than my partner. Am I still not young enough for him?
Q. I am 53 and my partner is 68. He looks at younger women. I realize I too, am a younger woman to him but it does bother me. As good as I look for my age (I have been told I look at least 10 years younger), it still doesn't stop him. Today wh...
A. 23 June 2021: I think that maybe you are letting your insecurities get the better of you.
You have not provided examples of previous experiences of him giving you reasons for you to distrust him, or constantly oggling women in a lusting fashion.
He walk... (read in full...)
Did he give me a fake number on purpose ?
Q. So I was talking with this guy on the elevator he already knows me we live in the same building too. First I asked him if he has a PS4 he said he didn't so I asked if I can get his number he said yeah. So I made him write it since I left my phone at ...
A. 23 June 2021: I think it would be a bit daft of him to give you a fake number as you both live in the same place, and he knows he is going to be frequently seeing you.
Being that you both live close to each other you are going to be bumping into him again fo... (read in full...)
Is it normal to suddenly develop attraction to someone out of the blue like this?
Q. I've had a friend who I've known for a long time (10+ years) but recently I've started to feel sexually aroused whenever we talk. It could be about any mundane topic, but every time she speaks I just feel my heart beating a little faster. My min...
A. 22 June 2021: I think this has a lot to do with age and maturity, and how our thoughts and feelings change as we grow older.
When you first met her you would have been in the age bracket of 12-15. At this age you would not have been having these feelings... (read in full...)
I am really in love with my male teacher. should I date him?
Q. i am really in love with my male teacher. should i date him?...
A. 18 June 2021: You teacher could get into an awful lot of trouble, and even be the end of his teaching career if he was found to be dating you.
You don't love you teacher, this is a crush that you think is love. Crushes don't last forever. Just let this fiz... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking about my assistant after love confession
Q. I can’t stop thinking about my assistant at work after he told me he loved me. The problem is though I’m a married woman. I work in the offices for a manufacturing company and basically deal with all the admin work. I’ve been there for 14 yea...
A. 18 June 2021: You are happily married to your husband who is a wonderful man.
Don't throw it all away on a silly short lived crush that will fade away over time.
I don't think that you should have apologised for what you said, you needed to nip it in the bu... (read in full...)
Why does my friend act this way? Is she trying to make me jealous?
Q. When you’re day-drinking with a friend and she gazes over at you and asks “why did you have a crush on ____ instead of me?” looking like she’s going to cry (when you in fact have been madly in love with this friend for years and there’s no way they ...
A. 14 June 2021: Why don't you have a conversation with her when there is no alcohol involved.
You obviously really like her, and she asked you why did you have a crush on such and such instead of her?.
I know its fun, and yes we all like a drink for time t... (read in full...)
I'm shocked at how blinded I was by online man I gave money to
Q. Hi and thank you!! So I'm dating a man who unfortunately is consumed with money ots money this, money that. Huge turn off to me. Sure we all need it but it doesn't consume me. Seems hes always broke always needing something. I need groce...
A. 14 June 2021: There are so many cases like this in life in general, and here on DC.
I know it's not probably the words you want to hear, but i feel you are being scammed.
You are sending a grown man money?. You are sending money and all you get back from hi... (read in full...)
I am furious at my boyfriend's female friend!
Q. So I have been with my partner 3 years now. Over that time he has had a friend of the opposite sex. That he had known for years but not seen in person in a long time, think social like 3x in the time he has known her, long before he met me. My gut f...
A. 14 June 2021: I think that you should just both put this down to a learing curve now and move on.
He did the right thing by showing you the correspondence between them both, so fair play to him for that.
I would advise not contacting her, as Honeypie pointed... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still communicating with the women he cheated on me with
Q. Hello and thanks So my bf and I have been together about 3 years. In the beginning he was cheating and I found out and he apologized and I had to regain my trust in him. Unfortunately he was an Instagram account and hes got the woman he cheated...
A. 14 June 2021: Leopards don't normally change their spots OP. You are right to feel the way you are feeling.
He cheated on you, he betrayed you, and you forgave him. Although you think you have got over it, you really haven't. Because he has cheated in the past... (read in full...)
My husband can't get his ex out of our lives and wants me to play matchmaker
Q. I've been married to my husband for 7 years now, met him in March 2014 when he was 36. No kids, we live an OK existence, not mega-rich but not in major financial struggles even with covid. A bit wealtheir than middle-class, but not living in a ...
A. 14 June 2021: I think it would be totally wrong to keep him in your life and play matchmaker for him.
Would you play matchmaker if it was a woman which was the ex?. I think not, as a female ex still in your lives would be wrong, so really it should not be diffe... (read in full...)
He seemed like a nice guy we met and he's acting strangely and I'm scared
Q. I met a guy online and we communicated for 6 months. I just got out of a relationship and the guy seemed perfect for me. We had all the same hobbies and interests and we started to really like each other. He's 29 and I'm 33. He was so kind and nice ...
A. 8 June 2021: All the niceness in the beginning was just a smokescreen, he was hiding behind a mask. He lured you in by being nice, a false sense of security, then once he had you his true colours came out.
OP there are way to many red flags here with this guy... (read in full...)
I am very angry at my boyfriend for staring at some random woman's ass!! I am having a hard time getting over this
Q. I am so ANGRY right now! My boyfriend and I have issues with trust. We went for our first couple's counselling appointment today. While in the waiting room, this blonde woman came out to get a drink of water at the cooler. I think she was one of the ...
A. 29 May 2021: I think you are still carrying insecurities because he cheated in a previous relationship.
I don't think you entirely trust him as its always in the back of your mind, if he cheated in a previous relationship, is he capable of doing it in this one... (read in full...)
Does aomeone have any suggestions as to how to help my sister?
Q. Does aomeone have any suggestions as to how to help my sister? I would appreciate it. My sister is in the process of divorce from her husband because she found out he sheeted on her for about 10 years with many differentt women They been ...
A. 29 May 2021: Its a good thing that she is away from the marriage and living with you while things get sorted.
All you can do is be there for her and advise her and be her support when she is feeling down.
It's not ideal sleeping with random people off of a ... (read in full...)
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