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How pushy is too pushy?

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Question - (20 July 2021) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2021)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I was good friends with a cute guy a few years younger than myself. We lost touch but then at New Year I wished him a Happy New Year which he sent a sweet message back. The other month I sent him another message but this time he didn't reply, but I know it was delivered and he read it.

I am now thinking of getting in touch with him again but don't want to sound like I am becoming a nuisance.

Should I contact him again? I really want to hear back from him...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2021):

OP here. Thanks all - & Kenny - I will give it one more try and then that's it from me!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2021):

I've had old girlfriends contact me and at the time I was in a new, committed relationship. Anyway, I did talk to the ex, had a nice chat and just explained that I was seeing someone, and they respected that boundary.

No biggie. Others handle the communication situation differently.

Maybe he's got something else going on in his life right now that demands more attention. Maybe he met someone.

Yes, he might have been simply responding with pleasant, holiday cheer to be polite. But who knows? He's the only one who could give you the real answer.

I'd say give it another shot, if you can communicate directly, all the better. I've learned the hard way --don't rely on "third person" communication to tell you what's going on with this guy. My advice is once you do establish pleasant communication with someone, keep at it, and lay your cards on the table. Don't wait a month to check back in. Too much waiting and wondering. If you don't connect with him, don't despair, there are plenty of other fish in the sea! Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2021):

"We lost touch but then at New Year I wished him a Happy New Year which he sent a sweet message back. The other month I sent him another message but this time he didn't reply, but I know it was delivered and he read it."

Yet you haven't heard from him since???

"Should I contact him again?"

Don't set yourself up to get your feelings hurt. I'd take the long silence as a hint he's not interested apart from wishing you a Happy New Year! You got a taste of his holiday spirit, I don't think it goes beyond that.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 July 2021):

Honeypie agony auntI mean what is the point you are trying to make?

I think this is a "non-starter". You WERE friends but lost contact and neither of you two was invested enough to keep conversation and friendship going.

I would just let it go. If you want friends, perhaps look for people who want to make an effort to stay in touch.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (21 July 2021):

kenny agony auntI guess the New Years message was a popular time for people to get messages wishing them happy New Year and he replied to your message along with all the other people that were texting him as well.

I don't know what you wrote in the next message but for what ever reason he has decided not to respond to you.

I would maybe leave it a bit, and send one more. If you don't get a response from this then you are simply going to have to accept the fact that he does not want to keep up communications with you, and you must respect this and move on, and not try to establish contact again.

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