A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend keeps making excuses not to see me I haven't seen him for two months now he lives local he keeps saying he's busy with work. He takes 5 days to answer a text as well I want a relationship and it doesn't feel like one anymore. I get lonely and long for a cuddle. Should I tell him it's over and move on
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2021): original poster of problem#
well today he says he does want to see me
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2021): original poster of problem
well today he contacted me to say he still likes me so like i said i dont think he means it hes just confused
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2021): I think he does mean it, he has been trying to tell you without actually telling you for a while now. Saying he wanted to see you could have been because he wanted to speak to you face to face about it or he was wanting the obvious.
Five years, five months, five minutes, its irrelevant if he feels the relationship has run its course and you know deep down it has for him, otherwise you wouldn't be on here asking.
One of my friends was with a man twenty years and last year he just stopped seeing her, just blanked her for months but simply didn't just tell her it was over. She accepted from his obvious change it was over, realized that it was a good thing and has got on with her life.
I'm sorry but if he has told you its over I would believe him, he has no reason to not say that if he didn't mean it..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2021): I think he does mean it, he has been trying to tell you without actually telling you for a while now. Saying he wanted to see you could have been because he wanted to speak to you face to face about it or he was wanting the obvious. Five years, five months, five minutes, its irrelevant if he feels the relationship has run its course and you know deep down it has for him, otherwise you wouldn't be on here asking.One of my friends was with a man twenty years and last year he just stopped seeing her, just blanked her for months but simply didn't just tell her it was over. She accepted from his obvious change it was over, realized that it was a good thing and has got on with her life. I'm sorry but if he has told you its over I would believe him, he has no reason to not say that if he didn't mean it..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2021): original poster of problem.
Yes it was a serious relationship we were together for 5 years always together so to end it like this is a bit strange as he has a new job that has become time consuming but has since changed jobs with plenty of time now.
today he said he wants to go our seperate ways but i dont really think he means it to be honest as the other week he said he wanted to see me so thats why its all confusing to me.
Anyway i will carry on with my life i am not short of offers so no need to worry for me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2021): It's far easier for him to say he is too busy than say it's over and get you going on at him, pestering him for reasons and such. He also wants to make sure that you are pining for him, sitting there waiting, in case he changes his mind. Open your eyes. It's common sense.
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A
female
reader, Alwin  +, writes (13 July 2021):
 "He takes 5 days to answer a text" that's very telling. one of these days I heard on the news about a local supermarket where the manager wanted the employee to quit but he couldn't actually fire the guy, the manager then would create all sorts of obstacles so the employee finally decided to quit. I think that's where your relationship is going. he wants you to quit, but doesn't have the courage to break up with you. You need to ask him straight away if you're over and move on with your life,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2021): He's not your boyfriend anymore.
He might be dating someone else.
He is a coward.
Move on, find yourself a new boyfriend. He does not deserve any explanations.
What a jerk.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2021): Do the same with him that he is doing with you, just walk away and stop contact. You are throwing yourself at him as if he is the be all and end of all of your World. Making him feel very important and coming across as if you are desperate and a nothing. Have more pride in yourself. He won't tell you it is over because either (a) he wants to be sure you are sitting there ready to see him if and when it suits him and (b) he does not want you to start a big argument, moan and nag or cause a time consuming fuss demanding that he explain or change his mind. Which I am sure is what you would do. You seem to forget that it takes two people to make a relationship and only one to end it. He has every right to end it without having to explain it all or discuss it or justify or get your permission. I also suspect he is not really a boyfriend but someone you hardly know and not a serious committed thing, he was just enjoying it on a day by day basis until something better came along. If that didnt suit you then you dont go along with it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2021): Yes, end it and move on. Sounds like he wants to end it but is too much of a coward.
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male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (12 July 2021):
 I think that you should have finished this relationship after one month of this behaviour. He is to gutless to end things, resulting in him ignoring you and making lame excuses.
You should absolutely 100% finish with him and move on, and while your at it block him as well.
Get rid of him and move on with your life, you deserve better that a spinless idiot who can't step up to the plate and end things.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (12 July 2021):
 Absolutely, yes. He is spineless and doesn't have the guts to finish the relationship, so he is keeping away from you so that YOU do the breaking up.
Nobody is so busy they can't pop round to see you for 2 months. I wouldn't even bother telling him "it's over", just cut contact and move on. You deserve better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2021): It is over and he doesn't have the guts to tell you.
Or he is just testing your boundaries to see how much BS he can get away with and keep you on backburner.
Actions speak louder than words although you should never ignore someone's telling you bad things.
You need to decide for yourself but I would never let it drag on for so long.
I'm not saying that you're perfect. What I'm saying is that for whatever reason he doesn't want to see/be with you. Maybe he's fed up with you or maybe he found someone else... only he can tell you. But he obviously doesn't want to.
You need to make a move.
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