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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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I never heard a grown man cry like how I did last night. Should I feel sorry for him?
Q. I never heard a grown man cry like how I did last night. The father of my child cried in "sympathy" of apologies because of his situation he's in which he created and paved the path. He was kicked out of the military for fratanizing, he has to ...
A. 17 June 2007: The best thing you can do is move on with your 18 month old child. He doesn't seem worthy of you and if he's cheating on you then that says it all. You need to do what is best for you and your daughter. He is responsible for his kids so he should ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my best friend... she's having a rough time with her current boyfriend! What shall I do?
Q. I have too many feeling for my friends wife... And I confessed these to her. She said she has similar feelings but she has to focus on her current relationship. Right now she is trying to work on a divorce, and I feel like a little of it is my ...
A. 16 June 2007: In both your letter to this site and your email to this woman you talk about emotions, feelings and your heart! Not once in the email or your letter do you mention the feelings for her husband, YOUR FRIEND! Where is your "heart" there? Put ... (read in full...)
Went on a break with my girlfriend, now there's another girl involved.
Q. a few of months ago my ex girlfriends mum past away and she told she needs a break from this relationship so i said it was ok but after 2 months i thought we weren't gonna get back together so i got another girlfriend and ive started to love her but ...
A. 16 June 2007: If you still have feelings for your ex girlfriend then I suggest you take some space from your present girlfriend. Be on your own for a couple of weeks to see who you miss the most. By the end of 2 weeks you'll know for sure who you want to be ... (read in full...)
How to write a good Dear Cupid question
Q. When asking for advice from complete strangers, here are a few tips to keep in mind. 1) Know your audience - We're here to give advice, and as much as we'd like to tell you what to do, we really can't. We're messed up people, too. :) Take everythi...
A. 16 June 2007: Excellent tips Bytex, especially about the punctuation and grammar and the proof reading the question afterwards. Good job!
Eve... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is sending emails that sound like she's sleeping with other blokes! She tells me it's nothing to worry about. What can I do?
Q. Hi, I'm 20 years old and have been seeing my girlfriend of the same age for about 9 months now. We met each other at our 'home' town but we study at different universities so it is effectively a 'long-distance relationship' most of the time. Over ...
A. 16 June 2007: You can't forget about it, it will only eat away at you and she'll notice a difference in you. If I were you I would wait until she gets back. Make up some excuse why you can't go over and see her but make it brief with no details. THAT in itself ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is very loud when we have sex.
Q. My girlfriend is very loud when we have sex. I actually find it very embarrassing as my walls are very thin and my bedroom is right next to the neigbours. I know they can hear her as I can hear very slight movement in their room like someone opening ...
A. 16 June 2007: You need to make her aware that she's too "loud". Get her to bite down on a pillow to muffle her cries, that will help. At the end of the day, you don't want to wait until one of the neighbours complains about your frolicks, I'm sure if she really ... (read in full...)
My problem is that I'm really fat and not that pretty plus he likes my best mate.
Q. Dear Cupid Agony Aunt, I have this huge crush on this really hot guy. The problem is that I'm really fat and not that pretty plus he likes my best mate. We are going to France with our class, the country of live. Should i tell him there and have him...
A. 16 June 2007: Then you need to "fix" the problem! Cut down on what you eat, drink plenty of water and look absolutely amazing when you're in his company. (I'm sure you are anyway, you just don't see it.) Let your personality shine through and always keep ... (read in full...)
My exboyfriend has been emailing me after a number of years, do you think he's interested again?
Q. Hi Can anyone help me this sounds well sad I know but recently I have been in contact with an ex-boyfriend who I have not seen or heard from in years, he has been e-mailing me about once o twice a month, he has now sent me a picture of himself,...
A. 16 June 2007: I wouldn't ask to meet up with him, not for now at least. He may just wants to talk to you and get to know you again. Maybe he's changed somewhat (hence his reason for wanting to show you his picture.) How do you feel about him? Would you meet up ... (read in full...)
I feel so insecure, how do I "find myself" again?
Q. My girlfriend finished our relationship on sunday and i am heart broken, i opened up to her so much and let down all my guards. i felt used and hurt because i gave her my all. we argue all the time because she has a short temper and no matter what i ...
A. 16 June 2007: You had some good times together but from what you write, she certainly doesn't seem right for you, you deserve so much better. She has absolutely no respect for you and is treating you like a doormat.
Have a look at the link below, it will hel... (read in full...)
I have mild Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and I find it so hard to form relationships with guys.
Q. I've recently met someone, and we both really like each other. The only problem is, is that I have BDD mildly (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) and I find it so hard to form relationships with guys. I want to actually get somewhere in a relationship, in...
A. 16 June 2007: It's all more in the mind that you feel different than anything else. Just be YOU! Be friendly and just let your personality take over. You're much too young to be getting intimate with anyone so give that a miss for a few years yet, just enjoy ... (read in full...)
What can I do to romantically spice up our relationship?
Q. How do I get out of the routine with my 16 year old girlfriend? I want to do something romantic for her?...
A. 16 June 2007: Here is a site that will help you, it has hundreds of different romantic ideas that can spice up any relationship depending on your price range. Some things don't even cost a penny to do.
http://www.theromantic.com/stories/stories.htm
Have ... (read in full...)
I keep needing to go to the toilet. Please help!
Q. After ive been to the toilet i feel like i need it again sometimes and i get a little pain but when it comes to going again i cant. its strange it doesnt happen all the time just occasionaly. does anyone know whats wrong?...
A. 16 June 2007: It sounds to me it could be cystitis.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/cystitis.htm
Go to the doctor for a quick check up. If it is this then it's easily cured with anti biotics. Try drinking Cranberry juice, that's known to keep it ... (read in full...)
Had an affair with a woman but had to break it off because she didn't want it. With a baby on the way with another girl, she wants me back! What should I do?
Q. well i've been maddly head over heels with this girl i went to school with over ten years ago, the problem was that at school she seemed happy with my best mate so i never mentioned how i felt, after school we lost touch but one day she came to work ...
A. 16 June 2007: I suggest you keep in contact with your childhood sweetheart by email ONLY! That way you can see how things go and exactly what her intentions are. It could be that you leave the mother of your child and things don't work out with the other woman ... (read in full...)
He says that he wants to have sex, I said no and now he's being all weird on me. What should I do?
Q. i got a boyfriend who says he loves me, he told his best m8 he had feelings for me and then we started going out, however before we started going out we were really close m8s i was like his 2nd best m8, i love him n i no he loves me well he says he ...
A. 16 June 2007: You hit the nail on the head there, he IS just trying to get into your pants and guys will tell you what you WANT to hear, as long as they get what they want from you and in this instance it's very obvious that it's sex. If a man really cared for ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed messages, does he like me?
Q. Hey Im 17 and i've just come out of a year long relationship with someone. Back in February i met this really nice guy i met at a party, he was very drunk and spend the whole evening telling me i looked amazingly beautiful. I really liked him...
A. 16 June 2007: He seems to be letting you know that once he goes to University he might meet someone else, he definitely doesn't seem to want anything serious. Him putting his arm around you in the cinema was him just being chivalrous. You told him that his ... (read in full...)
My niece died on sudden death syndrome. How can I be there for my daughter more than I am now?
Q. hi i have been with my partner 3 years i have a 11 year old son that lives with me my partner has two tenagers that live with her last year my partner lost her neice she was 10 she died of sudden death she went to the same school as my son it is a ...
A. 16 June 2007: Ask your partner "What can I do to be there for you?" I take it you don't actually live together? Send her a card and let her know you feel her pain, that you love her so much and that you're there for her with open arms. Send her some flowers too ... (read in full...)
I ust want to post and say Thank You to everyone who has helped make me feel so welcome here.
Q. This is not a question, this is a big thank you to everyone who has helped make me feel so welcome finding this site has had a huge impact on my life so thank you to one and all of you for your wonderful support YOU HAVE ALL BEEN SO SPECIAL! Thank ...
A. 16 June 2007: Andrew, the owner of this site has done a wonderful job here and has helped so many people get together both by sharing their problems and answering other people's problems. Lots of bonds have been formed doing this and I for one have met new ... (read in full...)
I never heard a grown man cry like how I did last night. Should I feel sorry for him?
Q. I never heard a grown man cry like how I did last night. The father of my child cried in "sympathy" of apologies because of his situation he's in which he created and paved the path. He was kicked out of the military for fratanizing, he has to ...
A. 16 June 2007: Why are you looking after his 2 kids from his previous marriage? Have they always lived with you both? How long were you and your ex together? How old are his other 2 kids and how old is your daughter?
Eve... (read in full...)
Why does my ex still carry my pic in his wallet?
Q. My ex and I have been broke up about 3 months. We broke up because I couldn't choose between my ex before him (6 year relationship) and him. We had magic though. Now it's over and he has someone new almost immediately after we broke up. My question ...
A. 16 June 2007: 6 years is a long time to be with someone and you only broke up 3 months ago. He may still hold a torch for you and hasn't gotten you out of his system yet, even although he has decided to get with someone else, he might just be trying to prove to ... (read in full...)
I never heard a grown man cry like how I did last night. Should I feel sorry for him?
Q. I never heard a grown man cry like how I did last night. The father of my child cried in "sympathy" of apologies because of his situation he's in which he created and paved the path. He was kicked out of the military for fratanizing, he has to ...
A. 16 June 2007: Sympathy costs nothing! We all make mistakes in our lives. Without knowing more about the situation I can only say there's nothing wrong in feeling sorry for him and telling him you're sorry to hear what happened. Try to help him keep his spirits ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend has just told me over instant messenger, that his mother is dying.
Q. My ex boyfriend has just told me over instant messenger, that his mother is dying. How should i deal with this. I don't want to sound callous, but i didnt really understand why he felt the need to tell me. We haven't spoken for over a year. ...
A. 16 June 2007: He's going through a very traumatic time just now and needs as much support as he can get. He's just reaching out to anyone he knows that will listen, it's a devastating thing to happen in his life, it doesn't mean he wants to get back with you, it ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to feel like the love i had for one person is fading away while the love for another person is increasing?
Q. Is it wrong for me to feel like the love i had for one person is fading away while the love for another person is increasing? Me and baby daddy been having problem every since i had our child which have been seven months. We been arguing none ...
A. 16 June 2007: It doesn't sound crazy, it happens. You're just confused, you need to take time out from both of them and "find yourself". Ask yourself what you really want from life and who you want to share it with. Ask both of them to give you space for now ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got a year long job in he states and now tells me she wants to stay there!
Q. hi, iv been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years. about 6 months ago, she got a year long job in the states, and she wanted so badly to go and i was happy for her to do it. we have been in contact all the while, i trust her completely and have been ...
A. 16 June 2007: Go over there and be with her for the 2 months and see how things go. If you do think you could move there then you need to make the necessary changes to your life so you can be together. Because of your commitments, this won't happen overnight of ... (read in full...)
He told me today he can't leave his wife for me...
Q. I have a best friend who declared his undying love for me but he is married to a very dominant lady whilst he is very weak and he had decided a while ago he was leaving through unhappiness but didn't. His wife stopped us seeing each other because ...
A. 16 June 2007: You have already said he is very weak so what on earth makes you think he would leave his wife? 95% of men NEVER leave them hun and he's no different. I wouldn't email him back, I'd forget about him and find someone single that you don't need to ... (read in full...)
Why am I never in the mood for sex lately?
Q. My fiance and I used to have sex all the time as well as cuddle but lately I haven't been in the mood for any of it. What could possibly be wrong?...
A. 16 June 2007: It could be a number of things. Stress is usually the number one cause though. Is there something in your life that's stressing you out just now? Your job, your fiance, your family or money maybe? How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel ... (read in full...)
Do I divorce my husband and go for my dream man or continue living in this unhappy marriage for the sake of the children and the society I live in?
Q. I am married for 20 years but was never attracted to my husband as it was an arranged marriage. I continued in this marriage for the sake of the children and the society i live in. Now both the boys are teenagers. There was no intimacy in our ...
A. 16 June 2007: You have to do what you think is right for yourself. You deserve to be happy, just be careful you're not jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. There must be some things you love about your husband. It sounds to me as if you're bored with ... (read in full...)
How to cope after a very close death???
Q. Hi Everyone, AskEve here. I just wanted to let everyone know I lost my wonderful partner 2 days ago so won't be on for a bit. He was over in Switzerland on business when he passed away. (I wasn't even with him...) I loved him terribly and now...
A. 16 June 2007: Thanks for your kind words Karen. He WAS a very clever man and made a big difference to this world. He appeared on TV and radio many times and wrote a book too. Feel free to have a look at it.
http://www.fictionsoffreedom.com/
I am soooo pr... (read in full...)
I'm fine with her socialising but I get so jealous when she talks to this one guy.
Q. I have a real issue. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 4 months now. I'm fine with her socializing with everyone else except for this 1 kid. He's 1 of my mates from school, and for some reason, whenever they're together, I just get so so ...
A. 15 June 2007: Then she doesn't care for you half as much as you care for her. Read again what I said about jealousy, you CAN stop yourself from feeling jealous if you want to, it just needs to be worked at. You are obviously NOT her number one priority so it ... (read in full...)
I dont know what to do, my partner is pregnant and still smoking! I'm healthy and getting sick of the smell!!
Q. My partner is pregnant and has not stopped smoking - she also drinks occasionally a few drinks at a time...i've kind of got my head round it a bit. However I live with her at her place and hate her smoking when i'm at home - nevermind being bad for ...
A. 15 June 2007: Get some backbone and tell her if she wants to smoke then she does it OUTSIDE the house and not inside, that way you compromise. It might also be a good idea to let her see this link, tell her to read it to see exactly what she's doing to her ... (read in full...)
What is it like to be accepted by someone ?
Q. I want to know what it is like to be accepted by someone or accepting someone you have been in contact with for some time? How is it possible to make this less difficult? ...
A. 15 June 2007: I agree with Sarah here, more information is needed. Do you mean accepted by someone as a friend, an equal, an employee or as a lover? Do you want to know how it "feels? Be more specific with your question and I'll try to help you some more ... (read in full...)
How do I get over just being a friend??
Q. Hello I have this friend (call her Tina) who is the sister of my best friend (female). I have graduelly got to know Tina since I seperated from my wife, over last 18 months and have become very fond of her and seems very close to her. We do a lot...
A. 15 June 2007: I think she does only see you as a friend, for now at least. You have to pull back a bit from her for now, especially as your feelings for her are growing. Your absence might make her see that maybe you do mean more to her than she first thought, ... (read in full...)
Is he scared to date me because I'm a freshman and he's a junior?
Q. I like this guy in my high school. One of my best friends asked him if he likes me back and he said sort of. Sometimes my crush does things to get my attention. He does things to be near me. He stares and stalks me. The problem is he says he has a ...
A. 15 June 2007: Yes, I'd say he liked you, he's just a bit shy and feels insecure about himself. Why don't you ask him if he wants to hang out somewhere? YOU take the initiative here. Do it in a text to him if you don't want to ask him face to face and see his ... (read in full...)
Other people's views on marriage being burdensome is overwhelming me! How do I get through this?
Q. I feel that i am anxious about my marriage mainly because there is an overwhelming burdensome feeling that marriage is doomed to lead to miseries especially in the region where is live.. I sometimes get overwhelmed by this popular sentiment and give ...
A. 15 June 2007: I say be happy in your own skin. You know your future wife better than anyone and you KNOW your relationship works. A good point to remember though, once you are married, don't fall into the same rut a lot of marriages fall into, you need to ... (read in full...)
I'm fine with her socialising but I get so jealous when she talks to this one guy.
Q. I have a real issue. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 4 months now. I'm fine with her socializing with everyone else except for this 1 kid. He's 1 of my mates from school, and for some reason, whenever they're together, I just get so so ...
A. 15 June 2007: Why don't you play a bit harder to get? Don't make yourself so available to her and let HER chase you more! Play her at her own game and circulate and chat with other friends, male and female. If she is still keen on you then she'll notice you're ... (read in full...)
I'm fine with her socialising but I get so jealous when she talks to this one guy.
Q. I have a real issue. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 4 months now. I'm fine with her socializing with everyone else except for this 1 kid. He's 1 of my mates from school, and for some reason, whenever they're together, I just get so so ...
A. 12 June 2007: Feelings such as jealousy are based on fear and do not come from love at all, we say we feel like this BECAUSE we love the person but this isn't the case at all. Jealousy comes from wanting to possess and wanting to own or have. One cannot own ... (read in full...)
How do I conquer my jealousy?
Q. How do I conquer my jealousy? Or stop the inner boiling up? It's not that I'm possessive, it's just that my bf is extremely social. He has many friends who are women, and when he talks to them by telephone, he rarely even mentions me, and I sort o...
A. 12 June 2007: Feelings such as jealousy are based on fear and do not come from love at all, we say we feel like this BECAUSE we love the person but this isn't the case at all. Jealousy comes from wanting to possess and wanting to own or have. One cannot own ... (read in full...)
How to cope after a very close death???
Q. Hi Everyone, AskEve here. I just wanted to let everyone know I lost my wonderful partner 2 days ago so won't be on for a bit. He was over in Switzerland on business when he passed away. (I wasn't even with him...) I loved him terribly and now...
A. 9 June 2007: Thanks for the kind words LJD. What happens after death is so uncertain though. Do they move on to another plane or dimension? Is there such a thing as heaven where they can look down on us? Does their spirit or lifeforce "go out" and their ... (read in full...)
My husband of 23 years came home 6 weeks ago and told me was leaving in the morning as there was another woman...
Q. My husband of 23 years came home 6 weeks ago and told me was leaving in the morning as there was another woman, 20 years younger than me and ten years younger than him. After six weeks of living at his brother's house, and a lot of tears from me...
A. 8 June 2007: You know you have to talk to him about this don't you? Did you have any idea he felt so unhappy all those years in his marriage? You probably felt unfullfilled too but just soldiered on regardless. Relationships need to be worked at though, ... (read in full...)
I am due to go through a major event in my life and it's worrying me sick...
Q. I am due to go through a major event in my life, though most of you would think it is nothing if I said. I have been worrying about this event that I have blown everything out of proportion and gained a deep anxiety from it which has affected my ...
A. 8 June 2007: You don't need to take any pills for this, all you need is to change your mindset. DON'T think negative thoughts, think POSITIVE ones instead! Think of it this way... FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear immobilizes and makes it ... (read in full...)
How to cope after a very close death???
Q. Hi Everyone, AskEve here. I just wanted to let everyone know I lost my wonderful partner 2 days ago so won't be on for a bit. He was over in Switzerland on business when he passed away. (I wasn't even with him...) I loved him terribly and now...
A. 8 June 2007: Thanks for that eyes. Yes, I would agree, time IS a great healer, the pain never goes away, I've never experienced that type of emptiness before but life DOES go on and I am a strong person. I feel so much better than I did a month ago. It's just ... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one?
Q. Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one? How do I tell him that--I don't want to lead him on and have him plan our futures together, but he's a very all-or-nothing guy, and I don't want this to be the end--I'd still like to be ...
A. 8 June 2007: DON'T tell him while he's in Iraq. It will devastate him. Continue to write to him without the mushiness, he'll know from the "friendliness" of your letters that something has changed. It's very difficult being in a long distance relationship. ... (read in full...)
Could you please tell me if my boyfriend hits me once would he do it again?
Q. Could you please tell me if my boyfriend hits me once would he do it again?...
A. 5 June 2007: Why would anyone who has any respect for you lift their hand to you? If he's done this once and gotten away with it then of course he'll do it again, only this time you might not be so lucky. Men who hit women do it because it makes them feel ... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one?
Q. Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one? How do I tell him that--I don't want to lead him on and have him plan our futures together, but he's a very all-or-nothing guy, and I don't want this to be the end--I'd still like to be ...
A. 1 June 2007: If you feel all of that then why were you quite adamant that he was not the one? Has he talked about planning your future together? How long have you been together? Explain what you mean when you say "he's a very all or nothing guy"? Is he in ... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one?
Q. Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one? How do I tell him that--I don't want to lead him on and have him plan our futures together, but he's a very all-or-nothing guy, and I don't want this to be the end--I'd still like to be ...
A. 31 May 2007: If you truly love him then you respect him for who he is, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can ... (read in full...)
How to cope after a very close death???
Q. Hi Everyone, AskEve here. I just wanted to let everyone know I lost my wonderful partner 2 days ago so won't be on for a bit. He was over in Switzerland on business when he passed away. (I wasn't even with him...) I loved him terribly and now...
A. 28 May 2007: Thank you to everyone who answered. I have never experienced anything like this (death of a loved one) in my life. The upside (if there is such a thing) is that I can draw on this experience to help others who have also lost someone close to them ... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one?
Q. Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one? How do I tell him that--I don't want to lead him on and have him plan our futures together, but he's a very all-or-nothing guy, and I don't want this to be the end--I'd still like to be ...
A. 24 May 2007: First of all, you don't LOVE this man. You may be fond of him and enjoy his company but you certainly aren't in love with him, if you were you would want to be together for eternity.
Think about it this way. You are with a man you adore, y... (read in full...)
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