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He says that he wants to have sex, I said no and now he's being all weird on me. What should I do?

Tagged as: Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2007) 10 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

i got a boyfriend who says he loves me, he told his best m8 he had feelings for me and then we started going out, however before we started going out we were really close m8s i was like his 2nd best m8, i love him n i no he loves me well he says he does, does he mean it? beause he asked me for sex a few days ago and it was only a day in2 da relationship, so the next morning i sed im not ready etc den we kinda put da fone dwn i sent him a txt sayin i dont want 2 fall out ova dis just ring me wen u calmd dwn, so he rang in da evening and sed sorri bwt earlyer but he still wanted 2 have sex dat nyt he sed no n everytime i say no he goes all wierd on me. he tells me how he can make me happy and he wants to spend da rest of his life with me is he lying coz he wants to get into my pants or is he being genuine. im not ready 4 sex but i dont want to lose him as a bf and as a frend. he tells me how i shud trust dat he not going to leave me once we have had sex, but most guys do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007):

if he liked you enough he would respect the fact that you didnt want to have sex.if he thinks its that big a deal then let him get it somwhare else and end it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007):

If ur not ready just tell hima nd he says it will make him fell better and i will love u more just say if u love me u dont have to do this

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007):

When I started Righetti High School. I was friends with a friend of mine called Brian. Then I took the S.M.A.T. for the first time after school at 2:30pm and when him and I walked to the bus stop, I saw this pretty girl standing their, I deon't know what her name was at all. But after a few weeks I started to get intrested in her. Then I asked my friend named Brian if he new her name, and he said that her name was Heather. Then I said, that's a nice name. After me kept going to the bus stop everytime I would talk to him she would allways come near me. I coulden't understand why. Then we started talking a littl with each other. Then one day it was a minimum day at school, and I went to the bathroom and came out and walked to the bus. She said Hi David and I deon't even know that she was walking towards me. All I was never going to get to know her. And she said David are you taking the bus, I replyed yes I'am and she said okay see you their. And I said okay. Then when I was at the bus stop. And when we entered the bus stop. I went near the door and her friend went next to me and Heather went in front of me and really started talking to me. She acted like she new me for a longtime. And when the bus stopped and kept rolling she some how fail on me and kissed me in the lips and went back to the possision she was. And once the bus stopped for people to get out she said bye you guys. And left, and went home. I've never hade any girls do that to me before. I think shes a special girl. It's to long of a story to tail. But when graduation was near I know that I was going to miss her allot, and I told her that on a letter that I gave to her. She signed my year book and wrote someting nice to me, at the of her paragragh she drew a doubdled the heart she drew, and put her name. and it was all over being in High School. But I miss her quite allot and I know that I'll never forget her at all.

Because shes the nicest girl, sweetest girl, lovely and ahse a good heart that I knew. A lady that knows her said David Heather will never forget you. She loves you. And I allmost cried. But I wish that me and her could be togather forever, if I hade her as my girlfriend, I would do anything she would want me to do for her. I would truely love her from the buttom of my heart, respect her, and allway's be their for her no matter what. I would allway's be a good friend to her. I love her.

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (16 June 2007):

O Connor agony auntif this guy says he loves u and can make u happy then he should respect the fact that u weren't ready.ur still young and u have the whole of ur relationship together!well done for standing ur ground and not falling under pressure,and dont.just because u dont wanna lose him as a friend and a boyfriend doesnt mean u have to sleep with him.tell him that ur really not ready and that if he doesnt understand then he's not worth it.stand ur ground and respect yourself.it sounds to me like this guy just wants to get in your pants and he's not worth all this worrying.

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (16 June 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntI assure you that if you go ahead with sleeping with him, as soon as he's had his way, he'll leave you.

He doesn't have any respect for your wishes or for you, find someone who does.

You're worth more than just someone to have sex with. Don't let him do anything you don't want him to do. You have control over your body. Find someone who has more respect for you and for girls in general.

x

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi there hun,

If this guy really loves you like he says he does then he will wait until you and only you are prepaired to give him a specail part of your body...

You be strong if he doesn't hang around then he really isn't the guy you thought he was and you deserve someone who loves and respects you...

Hope this has helped babes good luck

Love Donna xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007):

Well from where i am standing it seems to me that this lad is only after a quickie and because you said no he don't like it,probably knocked down his ego abit. Don't back down alright, if this guy really 'loves you' like he says he does then he will be prepared to wait until you feel ready to have sex but the way he is acting shows that he is just being selfish and thinking of what's in his pants. Stick to what your saying and don't let him bully you into doing something that your not ready for.

x

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom + , writes (16 June 2007):

AskEve agony auntYou hit the nail on the head there, he IS just trying to get into your pants and guys will tell you what you WANT to hear, as long as they get what they want from you and in this instance it's very obvious that it's sex. If a man really cared for you then he would never pressure you into having sex with him, especially after only going out with you one day!

I'd get rid of him! He isn't right for you and will only end up causing you misery.

Eve

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A female reader, hugs2muchgal United States +, writes (16 June 2007):

hugs2muchgal agony auntDon't give in. The fact that he is pressuring you so early into the relationship means he does want to get into your pants.

I've been dating a guy over a year, and of course he wants sex (all teenage guys do) but when I say no, unlike your guy, he does not get angry or need calming down. He gets upset at the idea he might have tried to push me too much and backs off and apologizes.

Wait for a guy who will wait for you. If this one pressures you into sex, turn him down, dump him and walk away. He was never a good friend and boyfriend if he pressures you into something you truly don't want to do.

Good luck!

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntStick to your guns girl, if you are not ready that do not let him try and talk you into it, young lads can be very cleaver and say exactly what you want to hear just so they can have their wicked way with you, if he can't wait then he is not worth knowing as a friend or boyfriend.

I admire you for having your head screwed on.

Take care.xx.

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