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My girlfriend got a year long job in he states and now tells me she wants to stay there!

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 June 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hi, iv been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years. about 6 months ago, she got a year long job in the states, and she wanted so badly to go and i was happy for her to do it. we have been in contact all the while, i trust her completely and have been totally faithful too. the problem is that she told me recently that she doesnt want to come back here. she says she still loves me, and she feels very guilty. I want her to be happy, but im totally heartbroken. I dont want to force her to come back or manipulate her with guilt, but since she told me i have been tearful and hard to get along with, its really eating me up. she wants me to move there but i have too many commitments here. i am going over to be with her for 2 months over the summer in a weeks time. i hope we can find a way to be together while im there. if anyone can help me out, or just make me feel better, id be grateful. I love her so much, and i know she loves me, but I cant stand the thought of losing her this way. I wish things were different and i could move out there with her. but its not an option. thanks.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntI'm going to have to agree with the other girls on this one, who knows what will happen when you get out there if you mean that much to each other you will find a way, can you tell us why you say that it is not an option for you to go and live out there, is it because of your work or is it some thing else?

Please feel free to talk to us more before you go if you want to we are all here to try and help.

Take care.xx.

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntI agree with AskEve. Head out there and see her and see what life would be like over there.

I found out I was pregnant a few months back and my partner and I decided to move in together. We live 80 odd miles apart, ok nothing quite like moving to the States. We can't afford to rent or buy in London so the only other option was for my partner to move to Northampton. I said it was down to him at the end of the day, but I couldn't move somewhere I couldn't afford to live.

In the end he decided to move here giving up all his commitments there. It took him a while, and I think the main thing with my partner was fear.

xxxxxx

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2007):

AskEve agony auntGo over there and be with her for the 2 months and see how things go. If you do think you could move there then you need to make the necessary changes to your life so you can be together. Because of your commitments, this won't happen overnight of course but it can be done with time.

If you really love her (and I think that you do) then you will find a way to be with her. Who knows, once you go for a holiday you might love it there! You're young and the States has so much to offer young people. Just remember... you can do ANYTHING if you really put your mind to it!

Eve

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