A
male
age
41-50,
*ticky,situ
writes:well i've been maddly head over heels with this girl i went to school with over ten years ago, the problem was that at school she seemed happy with my best mate so i never mentioned how i felt, after school we lost touch but one day she came to work at the same place as me and now was married with two children( not to my best mate)she told me that she had feelings for me but didnt want to say before(was afraid i didn't feel the same for her) we had an affair which lasted a while, but because of the kids she felt she couln't leave thier father, so we called the whole thing off, i left work and didn't hear from her for a while, basicly i got fed up holding a torch for someone that was out of reach and met this nice girl that i like but do not love, well shes pregnant and is ready to drop soon and im happy to have a child on the way, but problem.......the girl that i carry a torch for returned and told me that she is now divorced because he was not the person that she wanted to be with and wished that we said aomething to each other when we were younger.....i dont know wat to do i love this girl and feel myself around her where as the girl i'm with i love the idea of being a dad but feel that i'm living a lie
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 June 2007):
 I suggest you keep in contact with your childhood sweetheart by email ONLY! That way you can see how things go and exactly what her intentions are. It could be that you leave the mother of your child and things don't work out with the other woman either. If your girlfriend is soon to become a mother then she'll need your support, at least for a while until she gets used to motherhood. I would say nothing to her about this other woman and I wouldn't commit yourself to the other woman just yet either. Let her know your predicament and tell her that you need time to get your head together, hence the reason you don't want to meet up with her just yet. (If you do, you know you'll only end up sleeping together).
Give it say 8 weeks and see how things pan out before making any life changing decisions. Like the other aunt said, even if you do choose not to be with your girlfriend, you can still be a part of your child's life so you'll always be its dad!
Eve
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (16 June 2007):
 You can't stay with this girl just because of the baby it would not be fair on either of you in the long run and plus you are clearly in love with the other women, she realised what she wanted and acted on it maybe you should now do the same and just because you leave it does not mean that you can't be a fantastic dad, and your child would benefit more from having parents that are separated rather than together but with no love.
Take care.xx.
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