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... Send *ystify a private message | | | *ystify's profile:i live in the uk , yep bad enough...but i seem to of had far too much misfortune than would be considered my fair share,well , "what dont kill you only makes you stronger" , and i want to share the strengh's i found. i will only ever advise from some sort of experience so will always be fronm the heart, i am married but my husband dosent like this site much, feels it is quite negative sometimes, i feel we need to look after our mental health, i have learnt alot through pschycology and being a mental health nusre, then training in law, i want to share with others.
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What does beauty is in the eye of the beholder mean?
Q. what does 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' mean?...
A. 1 June 2006: to me it means i look at the world and i see a derelict bulding , my baby cousin with downs, my ex with all over body acne and man boobs and see the most beautiful things the world can give , i am the beholder and the beauty is clear to me , others ... (read in full...)
Husbands holiday is really getting to me... What should I do??
Q. My hubby and I haven't been married a year yet... The opportunity came up for him to go to Myrtle beach with his friends and he of course with no hesitation, agreed to go with them without discussing it with his wife first. When he asked me if he ...
A. 29 May 2006: its just my opinion but i think that he should of respected your wishes, in a marriage you put your partner first , and generally dont do things that will cause them misery.
sounds like he wants his cake and eat it , his wife at home and his ladd... (read in full...)
Do boys prefer the natural look or makeup on girls
Q. ello i am 15 years of age and just wondering, do boys prefer the natural look or girls that wear make up?...
A. 26 May 2006: my brother once told me he met a girl and just before they got it on she went to the bathroom and took all her make up off and he was extremely dissapointed because he felt it was sexy.
ive had boyfriends telling me to apply more and boyfriends tell... (read in full...)
He likes me shaved, but it hurts....what can I do?
Q. My bf has a shaved pussy fetish. I met his needs, but it bleeds a lot when i shave and it stings. I want to keep it up for him though. What do i do? ...
A. 26 May 2006: if you shave too regulary it will bleed and hurt, and also look bad, save it for them special occasions, or at least no more than once a week!
it wont hurt and will look better, and the growth will still be tame compared to au naturel;)... (read in full...)
Agony Aunts: Are we too soft with our problems?
Q. Have things become too complicated? Do we try too hard to namby-pamby, silk-glove every type of problem instead of just saying "bite the bullet" and getting on with life ? Being honest is such a panacea (sp?) for all ills. I am serious - I worry ...
A. 26 May 2006: some people come here for a calming word , someone to soothe them , not always looking for answers, but for comfort and the right aid to making up thier OWN mind with thier own choices after all its they who shall live with the consequences of thier ... (read in full...)
Boyfriends little girl passed away and he's now spending time with the mother... what should I do?
Q. my boyfriends little girl died 2weeks ago when i was up north with him! but it happened at his ex's! the funeral took 2 weeks to happen it happened a couple of days ago and since he went home and he has spent alot of time with his ex!! and the nigh...
A. 18 May 2006: it sounds like he feels under alot of pressure, and his ex dosent sound like she is handling what has happened very well.
he left her or they split for a reason and he chose to be with you for a reason.
those reasons havent changed, just maybe go... (read in full...)
We broke up and he tells me I am too large for sex. Should I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend and I just broke up.. It's kinda a long story so I won't get into it. Part of our problem was sexual. He started by saying that I am super hot..the hottest girl he has ever been with. He would watch me in the shower, masterbate while ...
A. 28 April 2006: well , just to add to list of reasons not to believe him,
how "big " your vagina gets depends on hoe turned on you get, the more turned on you are the looser the muscles are making it less "tight" for the guy , this is the same for EVERY girl, but ... (read in full...)
Why does he get to be jealous and possessive, but he's also cheated on me?
Q. I need help! I've been with my man for over a year now. He cheated on me several times in the past. I forgave him because he said he'd stop. I believe him only because he's honest and tells me everything. He even admitted with his own mouth he...
A. 6 April 2006: he is jealous and possesive because he dosent trust you and he dosent trust you because he dosent trust himself , he sees the world through his eyes and his are the eyes of a cheater , my best bet would be to get out of this relationship, honesty or ... (read in full...)
Are we ready for marraige as teenagers?
Q. my boyfriend wants to marry me and i know its not just for sex cuz he wants to marry me later. he is 17 and i =ma 16 can he really have true feelings like that? signed confused-...
A. 6 April 2006: do you mean that he wants to marry you in time but he waqnts to wait till after marriage till sex?
if so of course alot of teenagers have such strong emotions that last , i met got together with my husband on his 17th birthday and i know he is sure... (read in full...)
We love eachother, but her mom isn't liking this and wants to call the cops!
Q. Hi... I live in England, UK. Heres my question. Im 20, but my girlfriend is only 14 (she has the mind of someone more my age, shes mature). Iv known her for about three and a half years, but we were just distant friends for about one year. She st...
A. 6 April 2006: i think that sometimes its important to remember that although some children appear mature they are still in fact children , and as adults we should look back ourselves and aprieciate their vunerability and protect them ,not set them up as future ... (read in full...)
We broke up because I can't give her the luxury she wants, but she wants to stay friend! I don't think I can do that!
Q. Hello, Last week, my girlfriend of 10 months broke up with me. She says she still loves me but she wants to do her own thing and she says that she doesnt see a future with me because I can't give her the life she wants in terms of luxury. Surely i...
A. 6 April 2006: i agree with anonymous , your ex has tryed to explain what went wrong but you are making excuses instead of correcting or taking heed.
you say you loved her but you excuse yourself from showing it simply because you are male , this isnt a male attr... (read in full...)
My partner lies to me about looking at porn!!
Q. A few months ago I found out my partner was looking at porn on the web. He denied it but when I showed him the proof he had to admit it. This really upset me and as I have just hit forty, I was already feeling old, so finding out he was looking at ...
A. 29 March 2006: of course you have everyreason to be upset... (read in full...)
What is cum supposed to taste or smell like? How can you tell if it's normal or not?
Q. What is cum supposed to taste like? or smell like? whats right? and how would you know if something wasnt right with it?...
A. 29 March 2006: weel both me and m husnband thinks that cum smell like suated mushrooms hehe ;)... (read in full...)
What is cum supposed to taste or smell like? How can you tell if it's normal or not?
Q. What is cum supposed to taste like? or smell like? whats right? and how would you know if something wasnt right with it?...
A. 29 March 2006: weel both me and m husnband thinks that cum smell like suated mushrooms hehe ;)... (read in full...)
Been married two weeks and I HATE foreplay!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been married all of two weeks...and I HATE IT when my husband goes down on me. I dont feel like any foreplay activity either...that was not how i really thought i am.I am not too attached yet,but dont have any other romantic p...
A. 26 March 2006: maybe you could try , getting turned on yourself then approaching him , his ways may seem more appealing when in this frame of mind and may grow on you
... (read in full...)
He's still reading playboy and penthouse despite us dating for two years!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Since the beginning I have told him that I find porn degrading to women. He told me that he didn't feel comfortable reading them since the month we started dating but i found issues until 4 ...
A. 26 March 2006: i had gone away and given this posting some thought , znd i imagined AS someone eho would be hurt by this type of behaviour, like jadzia said, well at least if i read your first comments i would be feeling more dismayed.
you probably dont want to h... (read in full...)
He stared at the 2 buxom girls and later admitted he loves big breasts! I am very upset..what should I do?
Q. i have been with my partner for a year now every thing was good we trusted eash other very much, one night we went out and 2 girls were there with big boobs and very low tops he spent all night staring at them, when asked about it he denied it. a ...
A. 25 March 2006: you dont have to put up with that!, not all men do it , i know men that dont, he is not respecting you .
not to mention how uncomfortable he is probably making the other women feel!
i personnally would instantly dump anyone who would stand ne... (read in full...)
He's still reading playboy and penthouse despite us dating for two years!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Since the beginning I have told him that I find porn degrading to women. He told me that he didn't feel comfortable reading them since the month we started dating but i found issues until 4 ...
A. 25 March 2006: if he has stopped looking at it , then just remember he has become a better person , he is not who he used to be , that way you can detach the new partner from the old one that he used to be, concentrate on the future and the past should start to ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for gay guys to flirt with girls they don't fancy?
Q. I have a friend and his gay, the thing is he seems to flirt quite a bit with me. for example he would touch and sqeeze my leg, he wanted to give me a eskimo kiss, and he rub his face against mine, mirroring my body language. I dunno , is he ...
A. 24 March 2006: i have a few gay friends , and they all are touchy feely and a little childlike (eskimo kisses) but none of them are straight, i think they see it just like having a laugh with your girlfriends.
i guess it might be flirting , but i dont think flir... (read in full...)
I can't handle work anymore, it's affecting my health!
Q. Hi I wrote in a few days ago, but my problem has somehow changed, last night I had some severe pains in my chest and heart, I'm 23yrs, how pathetic is that. My folks tell me to calm down, not to take things so seriously. I stress about work, i wo...
A. 24 March 2006: i agree , get to your docter to find out if there was anything behind your chest pains.
but then if your work is stressing you out that much ... quit!
i once or twice was stuck in jobs that strssed me out and i didnt enjoy , they just seemed t... (read in full...)
I caught my 10-year-old daughter masturbating!
Q. I hope you can help me with this because i just dont know what to do! I have a 10 year old daughter who is very happy- go lucky and has lots of friends. Last week i walked into her bedroom to find her straddling her bedcorner and thrusting. I told ...
A. 21 March 2006: i think its time you gave your daughter a little privacy a have recently done a study group an children and sex, you have to have a healthy attitude towards sex if you are to let her grow up as a woman with a healthy attitude towards sex. the best ... (read in full...)
Why do women find "bad boys" so attractive?
Q. This is a question aimed at women (however, men are just as welcome to reply) Why do girls choose the bad boys? I mean why do you pick those that treat you like shit and play/cheat on you then those that respect and are honest to you? One th...
A. 21 March 2006: good guys sre not nessasarily wimpy or ugly just as bad boys are not all attractive or full of themselves, i can tell you from my experience that i am not actually attracted to "bad boys" sometimes i get tangled up with one because it all starts out ... (read in full...)
My partner lies to me about looking at porn!!
Q. A few months ago I found out my partner was looking at porn on the web. He denied it but when I showed him the proof he had to admit it. This really upset me and as I have just hit forty, I was already feeling old, so finding out he was looking at ...
A. 18 March 2006: read previous listings under porn , i hve written loads alot of it contradictided , only you knoe were you are coming from
x... (read in full...)
She says no body was as perfect as me, but I don't believe her!
Q. A Question to all you woman out there, my wife tells me guys are attracted to women more from a phyisical stand point, women from a emotional. that a mans body, penis size are not important. I cant believe my wife who has been with better body, ...
A. 18 March 2006: im sure you are all your wife ever wanted, sometimes i hear men saying "i like a bit of meat on my woman" this istrue for us women too if your woman says you are the one , get in there and enjoy it!!!... (read in full...)
I feel resentment because my wife sees sex as a "chore" and shows no enthusiasm! Any tips?
Q. I'm wondering about womens attitudes towards sex. I know everybody is different but allow me to explain. I work rotating. This week I'm working nights, 11 pm - 7am. This doesn't leave us much time for sex. We also have two teenagers runing...
A. 18 March 2006: so regardless of floor levels, your wife is aware of your children and dosent want to disrespect thier boundarys, (when i was young my mum didnt respect these boundarys and i lost out big time ...and we had 4 floors!)
you are horny at one toime shes... (read in full...)
How can I sneak over to my boyfriends house without my mom knowing?
Q. How can I sneak over to my boyfriends house without my mom knowing? ...
A. 18 March 2006: is there a lack of rust in yur mother/daughter relationshp?!
if so find a resonsible adult , maybe a docter,family friend, older friend you can talk to, it important you do:0)
bless ya x... (read in full...)
She wanted to have an affair but got rebuffed... Now her beau has gotten another chick pregnant. Where is my marriage going!?
Q. I have been married to Julie 15 years, usual up and downs but happy in the main so I thought. Have two lovely boys. About 18 months ago I thought my wife was having an affair – based on her mood and behaviour, small things but I thought all the ...
A. 17 March 2006: i wouldnt worry about invading her space , what she diod was worse all you did was trust your instincts and find out!
to make you feel as if youare going mad to hide it is unacceptable, whether or not you want to stay with her or to leave, this matt... (read in full...)
My life is a mess and I'm starting to cut myself. I need help!
Q. Hey I'm 14 years old, and my life is a mess seriously. I dunno what to do. My brother is 19. He lives with us and he's on drugs. He does heroin and other drugs most days. My family argue and it's like started to get to me. I've started cutting ...
A. 15 March 2006: hi missbunbury, i didnt misinterpret you message i wasnt assuming you were telling her to be ashamed of her scars , sorry if it came across that way .
i think your response was all good, just i was left a little concerned after reading it as she ... (read in full...)
I get breakfast in bed, but I don't really feel that I belong at my boyfriend's house, since he hasn't asked me to move in...
Q. I have been in a fantastic loving relationship for 5 months now. My boyfriend lets me stay at his house every night of the week. He is very giving; for example he cooks, does housework and makes me breakfast in bed. Lately he has been getting ...
A. 15 March 2006: hi , maybe you should chip in a bit , he sounds lovely...breakfast in bed :) nice!
if you are there every night then that is practically living there anyway and you should do your bit , although as it isnt your home there are limitations as to what... (read in full...)
Cesarean or natural pregnancy experiences wanted!
Q. Hi, I am 6 months pregnant and may need to have a c-section to deliver my baby. I am wanting other womans opinions on their experiences with both c-section and natural births. Thanks for any help you can give me....
A. 15 March 2006: i had 2 children both natural, i was allowed to hold them bothstraight after the birth, but as awful as it seems i just wanted to pass them to their daddy and curl up ina ball of pain, admittadly my birth ( iam told) seemed like and extra prolonged ... (read in full...)
Met a new, male friend that I'm VERY attracted to and not sure if I should admit my feeling to my boyfriend...
Q. Hi. I'm a 36 year old woman and have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 11 years and, for the most part, we are very happy together. Marriage has been discussed, but neither of us are very anxious to make that happen (we are comfortable and ...
A. 14 March 2006: in all fairness i think your boyfriend has a right to know and even if he ends things , would this be so bad ?! you are clearly not 100 % satisfied with your relationship.... (read in full...)
He cheated on me so I told his whole family!
Q. boyfriend cheated on me when i went to university. i found out from the girl (i didnt know her). i got my own back via humiliation by notifying his parents of what he had been up to, but since then any argument of fall out we have his mother tells ...
A. 14 March 2006: you are not manipulative ( a little passionate maybe but wheres the crime in that?!)
his mother is interferring , you came to her in a cry for help, instead of helping she has chose to attempt to destruct what you have .
maybe she didnt like to ... (read in full...)
My partner visits his wife, but also says they have no relationship at all!
Q. my partner visits his wife frequently. he is working with his son who lives in the same town as his mother but does not live with her. my partner stays with his estranged wife on the nights that he works with his son. we are very very happy but the ...
A. 14 March 2006: why are they not divorced? i could not tell you if there is anything going on , but i can tell you that if its making you uncomfortable in your relationship then to be honest id feel the same (regardless of age)
you want to establish your rela... (read in full...)
My life is a mess and I'm starting to cut myself. I need help!
Q. Hey I'm 14 years old, and my life is a mess seriously. I dunno what to do. My brother is 19. He lives with us and he's on drugs. He does heroin and other drugs most days. My family argue and it's like started to get to me. I've started cutting ...
A. 14 March 2006: dont worry too much about your scars , people who think less of you for them are not worth the time of day, anyone who cares about you or is worth knowing at all will not think any less of you for your scars.
i dont know anyone yet who has chan... (read in full...)
I found a condom in his wallet and I think he lied about what it was for
Q. Hi, I am 23 years old and have been with my fiance for about 4 years. We have had our problems but I thought we were doing ok. I am pregnant, due any day now. Last night I was doing laundry and my fiance had his wallet in a pair of pants that needed ...
A. 14 March 2006: you already said it , if the condom was for making bombs why was it in his wallet?! surly it should be exploded or tossed aside somewhere!
it is a poor excuse and i would bet a lie.
its a shame that some men seem to become so selfish when thier pa... (read in full...)
I found a condom in his wallet and I think he lied about what it was for
Q. Hi, I am 23 years old and have been with my fiance for about 4 years. We have had our problems but I thought we were doing ok. I am pregnant, due any day now. Last night I was doing laundry and my fiance had his wallet in a pair of pants that needed ...
A. 14 March 2006: you already said it , if the condom was for making bombs why was it in his wallet?! surly it should be exploded or tossed aside somewhere!
it is a poor excuse and i would bet a lie.
its a shame that some men seem to become so selfish when thier pa... (read in full...)
He was cheating on me with the girl next door!
Q. Hi there i've been involved with this guy for 7 years now, we were so in love and we were both committed to each other. last year i found out hew as cheating on me with a girl from next door, he says it was just plan sex , he doesn't love her,i ...
A. 14 March 2006: id think about moving away if this is possible , i cant imagine it would be easy to let this drop seeing her every day , living right next door.
you say youve dated, maybe youve evened things out in your mind but if you want to make a go of your... (read in full...)
Don't mind him look at porn so much as his lying about it (and the online dating)...
Q. Okay I just want to get some other imput from you guys here. My problem is the my husband looks at porn and lies about it. I do not have aproblem with him looking at the porn and have told him this. I just ask for him not to have porn downladed ...
A. 14 March 2006: hi ,after reading your follow up i am still a little worried, at the end of the day it is down to you as to wether you make a go of your marriage so i wont keep saying to leave him , but i did want to leave you withthis thought, if you are only ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my boyfriend and his porn?
Q. I recently found pornography on my fiance's computer. This is the 4th time I have found it. He knows how much it hurts me, only this time he admitted that it was his. I'm sick about it. I don't know what to do. Help?...
A. 14 March 2006: id just like to add to anons comment that even if a guy sees it as "less effort to jack off than to have sex" it does not mean that he has to look at porn to do it, and i can only assume that guys who do it for that reason would see the less effort ... (read in full...)
Am I masterbating wrong? HELP!
Q. hi ermm well ive tried masterbation for people at school talk about if your tight or slack and i waz wundering what am i?n people say two fingers is inbetween n over 3 iz slak under 2 iz tight n i can even fit i finger in my vagina!iz there somthing ...
A. 14 March 2006: agreed , dont listen to these people at school, it sounds like typical teen gossip but with nothing behind it, how "tight" you are depends on how turned on you are and there is definatly not a finger scale to judge it by.... (read in full...)
My life is a mess and I'm starting to cut myself. I need help!
Q. Hey I'm 14 years old, and my life is a mess seriously. I dunno what to do. My brother is 19. He lives with us and he's on drugs. He does heroin and other drugs most days. My family argue and it's like started to get to me. I've started cutting ...
A. 14 March 2006: dont worry you dont sound stupid for cutting yourself , it is a common problem and i wouldnt worry about killing yourself unless you ARE suicidal? people who cut themselves generally have no intention of killing themselves and definatly dont wont to ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my boyfriend and his porn?
Q. I recently found pornography on my fiance's computer. This is the 4th time I have found it. He knows how much it hurts me, only this time he admitted that it was his. I'm sick about it. I don't know what to do. Help?...
A. 13 March 2006: well said rebellious desire,
i am a woman and i would say i am probably more sexual than most men i have dated , and only a couple have been into porn!
lots of men find it just as disturbing and disrespectful as lots of women do.
SOME men look at ... (read in full...)
Don't mind him look at porn so much as his lying about it (and the online dating)...
Q. Okay I just want to get some other imput from you guys here. My problem is the my husband looks at porn and lies about it. I do not have aproblem with him looking at the porn and have told him this. I just ask for him not to have porn downladed ...
A. 13 March 2006: my god girl! leave him! dont let yourself be his doormat anymore, this isnt a happening relationship!
as regards to the honesty your after, i think you will only find with a differant man, sorry if this isnt what you want to hear , but i dont thin... (read in full...)
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