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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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My partner says if I keep the baby-I'm raising it on my own! I don't know what to do?
Q. ive been with my partner three and a half years and fell pregnant recently and my partner does not want the baby an dsays if i keep it ill be bringing it up on my own i love this man and dont wont to lose him butknowing i have to get rid of the baby ...
A. 20 December 2006: Right can I just point out that the below comment says it is from a 'male' reader who has had an abortion and is now pregnant - unless i am mistaken this doesn't quite compute.
Look, you may have had this problem, but it doesn't mean that this pers... (read in full...)
I'm her 46 year old teacher, but I think I'm falling for my 16 year old student!
Q. The thing is: there is this girl - a student of mine. I notice things about her that I shouldnt: well I have always noticed things I shouldnt about various girls I am just.. well very aware of the female species lets put it that way. However with ...
A. 13 December 2006: Open-minded?... (read in full...)
I neglected her while I was working alot so I cut down and now she is neglecting me....what can I do???
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 and a bit years of which we have been engaged for 7 and 10 months. We have always loved each other so very much. We still laugh at each others jokes and have fun. Even say the same things at the same ...
A. 11 December 2006: Don't look at this as the end of eight years of your life. This is the start of a new beginning. It is better that you figured this out BEFORE you have children or major finnacial commitments together. Ok, it hurts like salt in a raw wound, but ... (read in full...)
I'm getting a colonoscopy - will the doc know I've partaken in anal sex?
Q. I am getting a Colonoscopy and want to know if the Doctor will beable to tell that i have had anal sex?...
A. 11 December 2006: MARTINI!!!!!
***blushing****... (read in full...)
Was it a man talking in the background or a woman with a deep voice? Could she be cheating?
Q. As My Girlfiend Cheated On Me or am i being silly? last night my girlfriend planed a night out with some work friend's. she went out 9.30pm she was going to the night club down town. i agreed she could go i give her money 2 go. at 3am the nigh...
A. 11 December 2006: Sweetie, you have NO TRUST WHATSOEVER in this girl and you will always be looking for an indication that she has betrayed you.....and the sad thing is even if she has not you will find it. Thats because you WANT to find it. Move on with your ... (read in full...)
Was it a man talking in the background or a woman with a deep voice? Could she be cheating?
Q. As My Girlfiend Cheated On Me or am i being silly? last night my girlfriend planed a night out with some work friend's. she went out 9.30pm she was going to the night club down town. i agreed she could go i give her money 2 go. at 3am the nigh...
A. 10 December 2006: Look honey, there is something seriously dysfunctional about this relationship. Chances are you are not going to be together for much longer even if she hasn't cheated 'cos you both have some serious trust issues going on.....as for the'she thinks ... (read in full...)
Are most men sex-mad beings who hop from female to female? Any thoughts?
Q. Are most men generally sex-mad beings? Who if finished with one girl they happen to be seeing or been with, go straight onto the next, without a thought of the person they had been involved with before?? Just curious on your opinions with th...
A. 10 December 2006: No, all humans differ in opinion and beliefs, regardless of gender. You should judge each person as they stand alone, not on how you EXPECT their gender to behave.... (read in full...)
To parents out there--would you put your 16 year old daughter on the pill?
Q. would you put your 16yr old daughter on the pil...
A. 10 December 2006: Good GOD!! Are you asking this because you feel you still own this child. She is sixteen, she is above the legal age of consent. You would do better to jsut talk to her and impart you wisdom so she acn make her own choices.
Sorry, but c'mon, she ... (read in full...)
I'm getting a colonoscopy - will the doc know I've partaken in anal sex?
Q. I am getting a Colonoscopy and want to know if the Doctor will beable to tell that i have had anal sex?...
A. 10 December 2006: Martini, what planet are you on? And where did you get that little piece of empirical research from?
If you have been damaged by anal sex (ie, your sphincter muscles are lax) then maybe. But they don't care, they are not judging you, they are look... (read in full...)
Will it stop my breasts sagging if I wear a bra in bed?
Q. I'm 15 years old and i fall asleep wearing a bra almost every night I never really thought anything of it until now recently i've heard A) sleeping a bra keeps you from growing any larger B) if you don't wear a bra when you sleep you start...
A. 10 December 2006: The only info I can find on problems being cause by the underwire on a bra is when you are pregnant, when it is recommended that you use a bra without as it can harm the development of the breasts as they mature.
Each to their own as to wearing a br... (read in full...)
Would this be classed as no longer being a virgin??
Q. if you break your hymen without doing sexual intercourse are u still a virgin ?...
A. 10 December 2006: Penetration with a penis has to occur for virginity to be lost.... (read in full...)
I dont think i can tell him I'm pregnant
Q. Hi I have just found out i am pregnant, and i am absolutely thrilled a little bit scared, but still, so happy i suppose thats only natural however, it was not planned, i wasnt on the pill, but i got drunk and ended up taking a risk an...
A. 10 December 2006: Right some straight talking.
You can't tell him you are pregnant but you can have sex with somebody? It amazes me how people can be physically intimate but not in the slightest bit emotionally open.
You had a 'nasty abortion' two years ago, but... (read in full...)
We split b/c he wouldn't stop texting other women - we're together again but I think he's still doing it!
Q. My husband and I had a short separation due to my husband's continual texting of other women over a long period of time, although we rowed time and time again about this problem we had never split up before over it, until I'd really had enough. ...
A. 10 December 2006: By texting other women he is making an emotional connection with them which is bound to cause you hurt and pain. I suggets if you bin this idiot then you do it for good. If not then you need to look at how your life will be if you stay with him, ... (read in full...)
Does my hubby's mate fancy me?
Q. My hubby has been telling me that he reckons that his mate fancies me. Thats nice to hear from a compliment type of view. However the last few times he has rung up he says 'are either of you available to come out tonight' whereas he used to say is ...
A. 10 December 2006: For you to pose this question makes me think you have had thoughts in this general direction. Be careful in case things get out of hand and you destroy your marriage.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date my father's half brother's son?
Q. I need to know if it is ok to date my father's half brother's son? My dad and his dad have the same mom but different dads. Not that it makes a difference but they weren't raised together. They were raised on two different sides of the island. ...
A. 10 December 2006: Yes, he is your first cousin and this is not illeagal.... (read in full...)
He says he's too tired and lazy to kiss me? what is going on??
Q. he says he's too tired and lazy to kiss me? what is going on??...
A. 10 December 2006: Kissing is one of the first things to go when a relationship matures. You need to talk to him and sak HIM why....... (read in full...)
What can I do to stop a married man coming on to me?
Q. Its this guy that I work with who keeps coming on to me because he think he love me. but I dont see him that way and I have told him that so many times he is also married with 3 kids. I told to talk to god about whats going on with him to see why ...
A. 10 December 2006: In the real world this is called sexual harrassment. Tell him ABSOLUTELY NO!! Send him no mixed signals and if he doesn't stop you need to take this further as Pica said.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Should I contact an actor I've become emotionally attached to?
Q. I really like this guy; he's 10 years older than me. He's an actor; I don't think it's a crush or anything like that. I feel emotionally attached, even though I have never met him. Has anyone else felt like this? I have a chance to contact him, ...
A. 10 December 2006: You have a crush. It is normal. By all means contact him, but do not expect anything in return as this is not something that will happen. He is a professional paid to play roles and you are a fan.
Thats all.
... (read in full...)
My partner says if I keep the baby-I'm raising it on my own! I don't know what to do?
Q. ive been with my partner three and a half years and fell pregnant recently and my partner does not want the baby an dsays if i keep it ill be bringing it up on my own i love this man and dont wont to lose him butknowing i have to get rid of the baby ...
A. 10 December 2006: Talk to hijm. Find out why he is reacting like this. You need to open up communication with him. If he won't talk then you need to not only look at what you are going to do about the baby, but also what you going to do about this so called ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship continue when only one person has a sex drive?
Q. hi my question is it reasonable to expect a relationship to continue when only one of the couple has any sex drive my partner wont disscus it its been a problem for three years now we are both 39 years old....
A. 10 December 2006: Ultimately this will probabaly kill your relationship unless you open channels of communication and fast. When one person has needs that are not being met, and show no chance of being met without professional help you need to get it sorted and ... (read in full...)
Is it just me or is my mom being really unfair?
Q. Ok..is it just me or is my mom being really unfair? ever since i dated my bf she's been going psycho. The only reason i think she doesn't like him is because of his nationality. She picks fights with me everyday, and each time i go out with him. She ...
A. 10 December 2006: Right you have asked for advice and you may not like what I am going to say, but tough!!
You are TWENTY_THREE years old. Why are you still living at homw if you dislike the way your parents run your life. Get out!! Get a job, move out and stop... (read in full...)
Was it a man talking in the background or a woman with a deep voice? Could she be cheating?
Q. As My Girlfiend Cheated On Me or am i being silly? last night my girlfriend planed a night out with some work friend's. she went out 9.30pm she was going to the night club down town. i agreed she could go i give her money 2 go. at 3am the nigh...
A. 10 December 2006: Something here strikes me as odd, mainly the controlling aspect of your relationship. Why should she ring to ask your permission to stay out? Are you har Dad and she is thirteen? Yes by all means she should tell you that she is staying out as ... (read in full...)
I'm her 46 year old teacher, but I think I'm falling for my 16 year old student!
Q. The thing is: there is this girl - a student of mine. I notice things about her that I shouldnt: well I have always noticed things I shouldnt about various girls I am just.. well very aware of the female species lets put it that way. However with ...
A. 10 December 2006: You do not strike me as a very mature 46. Nothing about your letter suggests that you are a 'grown-up' in a position of responsibilty. I think what is happening here is a typical case of a midlife crisis. An attempt to recapture the heady days of ... (read in full...)
My husband of 27 years looks at shemale porn. Should I be concerned?
Q. Should I be concerned if my husband of 27 years has been looking at shemale stuff behind my back for the past 2 years? We have only had sex 2 times in 2 years...
A. 10 December 2006: What worries me here is the communication aspect of this question. How do you know he is looking at shemale porn? have you had to 'spy' on him to find this out? How would you have felt if he had been up front about looking at it from a curiosity ... (read in full...)
Do men generally wear engagement rings?
Q. Is it true that men don't usually wear their engagement rings? ...
A. 13 October 2006: From my experience engagement rings are a 'girl' thing. My hubby didn't want one, but he wears his wedding ring.
I suppose it is each to their own.... (read in full...)
I love somebody....but they refuse to speak to me!!
Q. I love somebody. . . but they refuse to speak to me, how can i tell them how i feel if they wont even look at me?...
A. 13 October 2006: They are just not that into you. More information please!... (read in full...)
I've decided to let my crush go, wrote him a letter but have received no response!
Q. Dear Cupid, Last Wednesday, I made the decision to accept the fact that my crush just wants to be friends and nothing more with me (in other words, I finally decided to let him go after nearly two years of constant pining over him). Well, on...
A. 13 October 2006: He just wasn't into you the way you were into him, let it go.... (read in full...)
I am 13 and in love with a 43 year old.
Q. i am 13 i am in love with a 43 year old we are getting on well we have been in a relationship for ten months i have asked him too always be honest with me and he is. to day he told me that he is in love with a woman 50000 miles away but he says ...
A. 13 October 2006: Right, I am going to say a couple of things to you and you are not going to like them, but tough!
YOU are to young to be in a relationship with a guy who is 30 years older. That is it about the age thing, end of story. To YOUNG!! Where are your... (read in full...)
My husband has told me that he no longer finds my body attractive since having our babies. Help!
Q. My husband has told me that he no longer finds my body attractive since having our babies. Its not a weight issue or anything but about scars and sagging that the dr said cant be changed except with cosmetic surgery. I try everything I can to look ...
A. 12 October 2006: I suggest that you get yourself and your husband to relationship therapy. What I am going to say is going to cause ructions on here but can I express another viewpoint....one that I DO NOT necassarily agree with! BUT WHY are we penalising this guy ... (read in full...)
I neglected her while I was working alot so I cut down and now she is neglecting me....what can I do???
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 and a bit years of which we have been engaged for 7 and 10 months. We have always loved each other so very much. We still laugh at each others jokes and have fun. Even say the same things at the same ...
A. 12 October 2006: I am going to keep my answer short and not get bogged down in the logistics of what you have said.
You neglected your GF, she in turn found ways of coping with the neglect before she addressed the problem verbally to you. Then you addressed the ... (read in full...)
When someone does something nasty to me I end up thinking it's my fault!!!
Q. I have a problem I never seem to be completely happy and whem somebody does something nasty to me, specially men I try to justify it and end up thinking it's my fault I feel nervous many times and I don't feel confortable with some of my friends as ...
A. 12 October 2006: This is a problem you need to address pretty soon or you will find it gets to big to handle on your own. I am pretty sure you are on the way to developing a social phobia, if you are not already there. Also, there are elements in your message ... (read in full...)
Ladies:- Being a toned guy would it be better to wear Briefs or boxers ?
Q. Lady's. im am an athletic build and my whole body is toned. would wearing briefs turn a girl off or would boxers be the best option?...
A. 16 August 2006: Depends on the clothing over the top. To be truthful as long as they don't have stripes, holes or a paisley pattern I can deal with anything........ (read in full...)
Shes 18 im 17, shes had more partners and it gets to me, how can I be less concerned over it ?
Q. My girlfriend is 18, I'm 17. I like her a great deal and would do anything to stay with her, but something that I keep being reminded of is the fact that I know I'm at least her sixth sexual partner. I'm not worried about diseases or anything, but ...
A. 10 August 2006: We all have different life experiences, would you be asking this question on her behalf if the tables were turned? NO! Get over it. It is all part of the wonderful tapestry called 'life'........ (read in full...)
Are sex stories just as bad as looking at porn ?
Q. I know that a lot of women are uncomfortable about their partner looking at porn, but is men reading sex stories just as bad?...
A. 10 August 2006: Switch off their brains so they dont think about ANYTHING!! Then you will be safe.....
*laughs sarcastically*... (read in full...)
Six guys are 'in love' with me! How do I tell them all..I don't feel the same way?
Q. When I'm first in a relationship I find many things that i have in common with the person and get really involved and when they say I love you I say it back (i usully feel i do) but after awhile i quit feeling that way and then i get annoyed or ...
A. 10 August 2006: Whatever perfume you are using can I have a squirt.
Look, chances are they 'fancy' you. I think you sound very young emotionally and I think you should just have non-sexual, no strings attatched fun with them until you find the one you want to sett... (read in full...)
Why would he not rise to the occasion, even though he wants sex ?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a month now but have been friends for over two years. We started to have sex not long ago and it's great. We make love almost everyday and it's amazing. But there's the occasional "He's in the mood ...
A. 10 August 2006: If HE has a problem with this then HE should seek help from a professional. If not you will just have to accept that you have different sex drives.... (read in full...)
What's "chin pie"? My BF jokes he's going to give it to me!
Q. Can anyone tell me what 'chin pie' is?? My b/f keeps joking about giving me one - (a chin pie, that is, not 'giving me one'!)...
A. 3 August 2006: ew!... (read in full...)
Do women prefer a hairy chest or shaved chest?
Q. what do women prefer, a hairy chest or a shaved chest?...
A. 3 August 2006: I like the natural look. If a man is supposed to be hairy (a la Burt reynolds) then thats what I like. If he is supposed to be slick....like, er???? mmmm? whoever then thats cool to. I don't like the contrived 'I wax, you should too' look...like ... (read in full...)
He met a younger girl, why has he thrown away 20 years for someone so much younger ?
Q. I am fifty one and have been with my partner about twenty years. I am still attractive and vivacious. My partner has just told me that he has met someone else. He mentioned that she is 27 and that she makes him feel young. I know that this happens a ...
A. 3 August 2006: PS. YEP! Kick him to the curb (in Jerry Springer vernacular) Get him out of your house and get a grip on your life again. Do not let him control your emotions. Life is too short.
... (read in full...)
He met a younger girl, why has he thrown away 20 years for someone so much younger ?
Q. I am fifty one and have been with my partner about twenty years. I am still attractive and vivacious. My partner has just told me that he has met someone else. He mentioned that she is 27 and that she makes him feel young. I know that this happens a ...
A. 3 August 2006: Like a teenager your soon to be ex is fixated on the one thing. This 'girl'. I can almost predict what will happen, he will have *fun* with her and then after a period of weeks/months realise it isn't all that he thought it was cracked up to ... (read in full...)
Ladies: do you think you're more sympathetic to females who cheat?
Q. Why is it on this site that women tend to be so sympathetic to a woman who has cheated and are so very understanding but when it's a man who cheated you hear phrases like, "Once a cheater always a cheater" or "A leopard never changes his spots". Is ...
A. 3 August 2006: Thats as somebody who has cheated AND been cheated on, may I add!!... (read in full...)
Ladies: do you think you're more sympathetic to females who cheat?
Q. Why is it on this site that women tend to be so sympathetic to a woman who has cheated and are so very understanding but when it's a man who cheated you hear phrases like, "Once a cheater always a cheater" or "A leopard never changes his spots". Is ...
A. 3 August 2006: I have been harsh on both sexes when they discuss cheating BUT I do try to weigh up the individual circumstances. Many people will say ALL cheating is bad, others thatsometimes it is understandable and even acceptable....so I am not biased to ... (read in full...)
Is alot of Body hair normal ? And does it stop growing ?
Q. i am a 15 yr old boy and i would like to know is it normal to have a lot of body hair, meaning chest, stomach, back legs and bottacks, and i would also like to know when does the body hair stop growing????? plzz help me as im worried...
A. 27 July 2006: Yes it is normal. Now please stop asking this question, go see a GP if you reamin worried.... (read in full...)
I feel like hes getting bored with me after only six months, how can I keep it alive ?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and i feel like hes getting bored of me and i do not want to loose him because he means the world to me what can i do to keep him happy and occupied we already have a sexual relationship how can i spice it ...
A. 27 July 2006: How is he showing his *boredom*? All relationships have a cooling off period, perhaps you have just hit yours. More info please.... (read in full...)
I want him out of my house!
Q. How do I get my boyfriend that I don't want anymore to move out of my house?...
A. 27 July 2006: I have no idea? Ask him to go?
C'mon, more info please........ (read in full...)
Ive met a guy who my parents say is "out of my league" should I do what makes them happy ?
Q. Have met a guy who my parents consider out of my league. They think i can do better, maybe i can but i've fallen for this guys kind caring ways. At same time i don't want to let my family down - do i just move on in the hope that someone better ...
A. 27 July 2006: Why is he 'out of your league', how do you mean?
And how old are you to be taking everything your parents say as gospel truth.
Anyway they are probably just trying to protect you.
x... (read in full...)
I'm 19 - I want a boob job, I lost a baby & my partner thinks I've cheated on him!
Q. I'm a 19 year old woman who hates her body and most all all her breasts. I want a boob job but its ruining my relationships because of my low confidence and self-esteem pls help me makes sense of what i should do? i love my partner of three years an...
A. 27 July 2006: Can I just point out that I thought Martini's advice thoroughly sound. Hotadvice needs to back off as she is being a little judgemental about his swearing, given the tone she takes with some of the other questions askers on here.... (read in full...)
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