Like what
she writes?
... Add *illywombat to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *illywombat a private message | | | *illywombat's profile:Felt like changing this, so here goes.
Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
|
|
Why do many females, that have been raped--become sexually active after this crime agianst them?
Q. Look Im at with young females so they ask me this question " Why does female became very sexaulity active after they been rape. So can someone please answer that question for me....
A. 20 January 2007: Female anon below, that is a good point and one that I had never considered before. Redressing the balance....becoming the instigator rather than a victim....
... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a man I disapprove of and it driving a wedge between us! Help?
Q. Hi, please help. My daughter is 18 almost 19 years old and dating a really old guy, he's 27 and I disapprove very much. My daughter lives on her own and pays her own bills so she assumes this means that i have no control over her. she's been seein...
A. 2 January 2007: Well said Malyce.
She is not 'some baby teenager' she is a woman of 19.
Get a grip.
... (read in full...)
What are the exact number of 'safe days' after a women's period?
Q. I need to know the number of days one should count as her safe days,that's after receiving your monthly periods....
A. 1 January 2007: Like I said before the only completely 'safest' method is not to bother. There is no 'safe' period unless you ahve no problems with getting caught out!... (read in full...)
How many BJ's on average, is average?
Q. How many blow jobs does the average man get per week ? ...
A. 1 January 2007: Sickos!!
funny tho....... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 31 December 2006: What's strongbad when it is at home?... (read in full...)
Does circumcision affect penis size?
Q. dear cupid i am not sure if this question is gonna be posted but if it is i would like to know: does the penis of a man shrink if he was circumcised when he was young, and if so is they anyway to make it bigger again ??? ...
A. 31 December 2006: Simple answer.
NO circumcision does NOT effect penis size.... (read in full...)
He's been giving hint that he wants us to be more
Q. im am a 17 year old girl and i been sleeping with a 29 year old guy i made it clear to him he is only a booty call as i have a high sex drive and it get so bad i cant consentrate at school recently he been giving hint that he wants us to be more ...
A. 31 December 2006: having just re read your question, I am doubting this is a real question at all. You say you have a sex drive so high you can't concentrate at school? C'mon, is this for real?... (read in full...)
It's been 3 years and it seems like the more interested I get, the more distant he becomes.Any advice?
Q. Hello. I need help. I have been with this guy for about 3 years now, and I am so confused. This guy is 20 years older than myself- I'm 36 and he is 56. At first, when he started asking me out, I found every excuse no to go out with him. This ...
A. 31 December 2006: He probably likes the thrill of the chase. Just go back to being slightly distant.....then let me know how his behaviour changes?... (read in full...)
I am gutted by my parent's divorce...Are any other adult 'survivors' of parental divorce..if so, how did it affect you?
Q. I am asking this question as I am now at the end of my tether (and it has been a long one). My Mum and my Step-dad (who I adore) are splitting up after 22 years together! I am gutted. Mum left him for another man because basically all the love ...
A. 31 December 2006: Thanks malyce
It is true, age of me and all - I feel rootless without my Mum and stepdads house to go to. Bizarre when I have my own. My son has sailed thru it - I am the whingey one who can't get her head round it!... (read in full...)
He keeps giving me the brush off and I'm upset! Am I over-reacting to all this?
Q. I met a man on the internet after a month of talking to him etc,anyway when we did meet i was totally smitten with him from the start and it looked like he was keen as well.Well we have arranged to meet again in the new year,now my problem is ...
A. 31 December 2006: He has his own life to live nad is not fully commited to you....
I MUST ask, are you completely SURE he is not married?... (read in full...)
She told me she has a history of cheating...should I leave this girl alone and wait for her to call me or pursue her?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for 5 months now. We met at school and now that were on our semester break, she went back to her home in Boston and I live here in San Francisco, 3,000 miles away. I can't help but think about ...
A. 31 December 2006: Maybe you ring her at the wrong time. maybe she is getting bored with the phone calls every day, some people cannot be bothered talking on the phone. Maybe she is getting bored with you!! But to be honest the only way you will find out what ... (read in full...)
If I leave my family it will cause hurt...will I regret not being with my soul mate?
Q. Sometimes we find what we are not looking for. My husband and I were in an alternative lifestyle, we were swingers. Well, we have been married for 17 years and had been doing that for 15 of those years. It has always ALWAYS been just fun on the ...
A. 31 December 2006: So to clarify, you have lived an alternative lifestryle with your husband for 15 years. Then you overstepped the boundaries of conventional society and had an 'experience' with your best friend and her husband. NOW, this guy who was 'only her ... (read in full...)
Had sex and found out after...the condom split! What do we do now?
Q. Well yesterday me and my boyfriend had sex and it was all going well until we finished and noticed the condom had split. We are always safe and have never done anything unprotected but this suddenly happened and i dont know what to do about it were ...
A. 31 December 2006: Pica refering to other agony aunt's opinions as 'guff' is a little insulting. Please be a little more pleasant! What Malyce has said is correct, at this point you need to confide in your Mum. failing that get to the GP ASAP and get some emergency ... (read in full...)
Media images of scantily clad females, what do YOU think?
Q. The Lynx advert; 'Spray more, get more...' with loads of scantily clad females leaping over rocks and parts of their bodies leaping around too, in which to race towards some rather gormless looking guy with a leery grin on his face. What do you thin...
A. 31 December 2006: But we seem to be focusing on just the power of women's bodies to sell a product in this here discussion! Like I said before there are so many adverts which use men to sell to both genders and not always in a positive manner. Harking back ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 31 December 2006: Oh bugger old chap it appears to have gone orf!!!... (read in full...)
Should I call my ex bf and give a New Year's greeting?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago. He moved away and has a new girlfriend. I am dating now but I have still not met someone special. I will be going to the city that my ex lives in for a few days next week. I had no intention of ...
A. 31 December 2006: Why go backwards? Onwards and upwards and a prosperous 2007 to you!!... (read in full...)
I saw him with his new gf today and I can't stop crying! How do I get him back?
Q. Dear Cupids I'm in distress!! I thought I was over my ex-bf but today I saw him with another girl and I haven't been able to stop crying ever since. He seems so happy and was holding her like he never held me. I want him so badly, how do I make him...
A. 31 December 2006: Firstly why is this guy your ex? Did he break up with you or vice versa?... (read in full...)
He's married with 3 kids and I just had his 4th! We argue all the time..is this ever going to work?
Q. my boyfriend is married with 3 chldren and ive just had his forth (a baby girl) i love him but we argue all the time. do you think its ever going to work?...
A. 31 December 2006: Hardly enough here for us to give advice on. Who is he married to? Is he involved with his other children?... (read in full...)
The mystery woman on his message machine was his ex gf! She wants him back--so what should I do?
Q. I have been with my current bf since the first of July 06. We live together and things were going so good, that is until these phone calls started coming in. There is a caller ID and also an answering machine for messages. Well, this female v...
A. 31 December 2006: I think he has maybe be a little 'economical' with the truth. Maybe the ex-GF is persuing him, but he sure as hell is enjoying it!!
Answer the phone next time.... (read in full...)
Is there a tablet out there that alleviates a heavy, painful period? Any advice?
Q. hi all cupids, i live in the uk.Im 15 and my periods are sooo heavy and painfull and ive heard that i can get a tablet that can help me, but i dont no any details about it or how it works, and ive heard tht it can have dangerous side affects. ca...
A. 31 December 2006: The best advice I can give you is to go to your local family planning centre for advice. Failing that your GP. I say that in that order as FPC's tend to be more up to date than many GP practice's.
There are tablets that be prescribed to stop blee... (read in full...)
I am gutted by my parent's divorce...Are any other adult 'survivors' of parental divorce..if so, how did it affect you?
Q. I am asking this question as I am now at the end of my tether (and it has been a long one). My Mum and my Step-dad (who I adore) are splitting up after 22 years together! I am gutted. Mum left him for another man because basically all the love ...
A. 31 December 2006: Ok, for those of you who don't know me I am nearly 36 and have not lived at home for nearly 18 years....so why does it hurt so much that these two peopl who I love tear each other apart. I know that MY house is now MY family base, but I miss the ... (read in full...)
After being with bad boys I found someone who treats me well. But..I found porn under his bed and I'm upset. What should I do?
Q. I am 22 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. I have a low self esteem because I got bullied at school (I didn't wear much make up so I guess the other girls were jealous). I had 2 boyfriends when I was at uni early on ...
A. 30 December 2006: People should not generalise. many men like porn as do many women. Please keep the answers a little saner!!... (read in full...)
How do i get over a mentally, sexually, financially abusive man
Q. ive been in love with the same mentally, sexually, financially abusive man for 10 years. how do i get over him and why am i still obssessing over him...
A. 30 December 2006: This man is an obsession for you - you are dead right!! And like any obsession or addiction you need to train/teach yourself to cope without it. I strongly suggest that you get some CBT. Go to your Gp and ask to be referred to a behavioural ... (read in full...)
Would it be cheating if you viewed porn and bashed the bishop?
Q. Is enjoying porn cheating if you masturbate to it? What if you don't masturbate to it would that be considered as not cheating. ...
A. 30 December 2006: In my opinion I cannot see how masturbating to porn would be considered cheating. Male or female - using an image be it visual, auditory or in your mind's eye is the way the majority of people reach orgasm alone. It is a natural physical process ... (read in full...)
What are the exact number of 'safe days' after a women's period?
Q. I need to know the number of days one should count as her safe days,that's after receiving your monthly periods....
A. 30 December 2006: As said before the only completely fool proof method of not getting pregnent is to not have sex. failing that, using a relaible barrier method of contraception such as the condom or cap, or chemical methods such as the pill or depo injections, ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 30 December 2006: I am sulking.....and will be welcoming in the New Year in aforesaid frame of mind....
Actually, was gonna just do the family thing and take my son and hubby to Liverpool to see the firework display, but unfortunately due to predicted gale force wind... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a man I disapprove of and it driving a wedge between us! Help?
Q. Hi, please help. My daughter is 18 almost 19 years old and dating a really old guy, he's 27 and I disapprove very much. My daughter lives on her own and pays her own bills so she assumes this means that i have no control over her. she's been seein...
A. 30 December 2006: Madam and mother of this 19 year old - you are a control freak. let your grip on your child go. Sort out your own issues, like repairing your own marriage and asking for help with your 'control-freak' tendancies.
Please let your daughter do her ... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a man I disapprove of and it driving a wedge between us! Help?
Q. Hi, please help. My daughter is 18 almost 19 years old and dating a really old guy, he's 27 and I disapprove very much. My daughter lives on her own and pays her own bills so she assumes this means that i have no control over her. she's been seein...
A. 30 December 2006: Madam and mother of this 19 year old - you are a control freak. let your grip on your child go. Sort out your own issues, like repairing your own marriage and asking for help with your 'control-freak' tendancies.
Please let your daughter do her ... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a man I disapprove of and it driving a wedge between us! Help?
Q. Hi, please help. My daughter is 18 almost 19 years old and dating a really old guy, he's 27 and I disapprove very much. My daughter lives on her own and pays her own bills so she assumes this means that i have no control over her. she's been seein...
A. 30 December 2006: She loves him, you cannot accept him. It is not her behaviour that is driving the wedge between you, it is yours. She is adult enough to make her own decisons.... (read in full...)
We broke up but now he's messing with me--what should I do?
Q. okay my name is iesha i had a boyfriend for like a month we had sex then a couple of weeks we broke up so he be messing with me, toughing me on my butt? what should i do im in love wit this boy!...
A. 30 December 2006: If you want your heart broken pursue this course of action. If you want your self esteem intact sack this git off, he ain't worth it mate!... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I am overly obsessed with our young son...I'm beginning to wonder if he's right. Any advice?
Q. Nine years ago, I met my future-husband at the hospital where I worked, he was visiting his sister, who had just given birth. We fell in love almost instantly, and were married after a year of passionate love. We started trying immediately for a ...
A. 30 December 2006: Malyce - have sent you a PM, don't think this is the time nor the place.
x... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 30 December 2006: We were doing swapsies...I was having her little 'un new years day (football match) and she was having ours new years eve....hey ho!! So she can bugger off if she thinks she is going to the football now.
Friends and babysitters? Who'd have 'em.... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and I have clinical depression. What effects could anti-depressants have?
Q. I'm 16 years old and I have clinical depression. I'm not on anti-depressants yet but there's a strong chance I will be next month, right now I'm on beta-blockers to deal with anxiety and stress. I just want to know, what effects could ...
A. 30 December 2006: If your doctor is any sort of GP he will tell you the good and the bad. I would suggest that if he thinks you are bad enough for Anit'D's then maybe you should try a course for several months ALONGSIDE a course of counselling and CBT....worth a ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I am overly obsessed with our young son...I'm beginning to wonder if he's right. Any advice?
Q. Nine years ago, I met my future-husband at the hospital where I worked, he was visiting his sister, who had just given birth. We fell in love almost instantly, and were married after a year of passionate love. We started trying immediately for a ...
A. 30 December 2006: Malcye...are you a clinical psychologist? What exactly are the signs you believe are showing her 'obsession'. She doe not think she is obsessive, her husband does. Please, you have given advice that is blatantly going to create a sense of ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 30 December 2006: Saturday. The day before New Years Eve and our babysitter has cancelled.....
BAH HUMBUG!!... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I am overly obsessed with our young son...I'm beginning to wonder if he's right. Any advice?
Q. Nine years ago, I met my future-husband at the hospital where I worked, he was visiting his sister, who had just given birth. We fell in love almost instantly, and were married after a year of passionate love. We started trying immediately for a ...
A. 30 December 2006: For goodness sake!! Her son is three months old, he hasn't been out of her body for even the amount of time that he was created inside it.
This anxiety is completely normal. Your not wanting to go back to work yet is completely normal. Give you... (read in full...)
Why do many females, that have been raped--become sexually active after this crime agianst them?
Q. Look Im at with young females so they ask me this question " Why does female became very sexaulity active after they been rape. So can someone please answer that question for me....
A. 30 December 2006: Pete is actually spot on. I have studied rape as both a psychologist AND as a survivor. Initially (with the benefit of hindsite) I viewed sex as a 'means to an end' and not a 'valuable' in a relationship as I had previously, although I never ... (read in full...)
He's been giving hint that he wants us to be more
Q. im am a 17 year old girl and i been sleeping with a 29 year old guy i made it clear to him he is only a booty call as i have a high sex drive and it get so bad i cant consentrate at school recently he been giving hint that he wants us to be more ...
A. 29 December 2006: Ok, he wants more and you don't. There is an age difference. Have you told him how you feel, I mean straight out? I doubt it. Tell him.... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but the age difference is a barrier. What should I do?
Q. I have this good guy friend of mine whom i like and im sure he likes me too but our age difference is up to 16.This has been a barrier between us,what should i do....
A. 29 December 2006: Chronological age should mean nothing. It is life experience that can be the barrier to furthing relationships.
Go for it if you feel comfortable. If you don't then don't!... (read in full...)
Are my kids being ungrateful or am I expecting too much from them?
Q. am i expecting too much from my children age 10 and 14. just had christmas on my own as the ex did not want me to visit. i had my 2 the w/e before and we had our christmas, i had to ask did they enjoy the w/e and the presents. the little one, got a ...
A. 29 December 2006: I can't understand what you mean by being kicked in the teeth? Do you mean you were offended by the fact your ten year old hadn't yet put your number in her phone?
This does not mean she doesn't love you or feels differently about you. You have... (read in full...)
Is being with my third cousin incest?
Q. Me and a girl are real close and now I find out that shes my 3rd cousin. Does 3rd cousins matter or is that still gross???...
A. 29 December 2006: I would like you to explain what exactly your perception of a '3rd cousin' is, and then why you think it is gross?
Plus it is not ileagal nor is a realtionship between first cousins. So please...to the anon who gives this bad advice get your fact... (read in full...)
How many BJ's on average, is average?
Q. How many blow jobs does the average man get per week ? ...
A. 29 December 2006: Without being rude or crude (but very probably being both!) I would get LOCKJAW if I performed this 14 times in one week....
lol
x... (read in full...)
Why am I still single?
Q. why am i still single? ...
A. 28 December 2006: How old are you?... (read in full...)
How many BJ's on average, is average?
Q. How many blow jobs does the average man get per week ? ...
A. 28 December 2006: Pete!! YOU WISH!!... (read in full...)
Did he cheat with the welder?
Q. My man has a girl welder helper and they were going on a trip for work. I got back some pictures and her arm was around him in one and in the other his arm was around her. also, pictures of her in her bikini.I had a feeling that she and feelings for ...
A. 28 December 2006: One answer I would like to give to the answerer below....my husband has taken a holiday with a non-relation/GF type person of the oposite sex on more than one occasion. It is called WORK!!... (read in full...)
Did he cheat with the welder?
Q. My man has a girl welder helper and they were going on a trip for work. I got back some pictures and her arm was around him in one and in the other his arm was around her. also, pictures of her in her bikini.I had a feeling that she and feelings for ...
A. 28 December 2006: One answer I would like to give to the answerer below....my husband has taken a holiday with a non-relation/GF type person of the oposite sex on more than one occasion. It is called WORK!!... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I am overly obsessed with our young son...I'm beginning to wonder if he's right. Any advice?
Q. Nine years ago, I met my future-husband at the hospital where I worked, he was visiting his sister, who had just given birth. We fell in love almost instantly, and were married after a year of passionate love. We started trying immediately for a ...
A. 28 December 2006: I have to answer this as honestly as I can. I DO NOT think you are of abnormal mind. I think you are totally besotted with your child having tried very very hard to have him with tragedy in the form of miscarraige along the way.
Yes, some of your... (read in full...)
How many BJ's on average, is average?
Q. How many blow jobs does the average man get per week ? ...
A. 28 December 2006: Sorry but I do not know of any statistics that tell us this!... (read in full...)
If I leave my family it will cause hurt...will I regret not being with my soul mate?
Q. Sometimes we find what we are not looking for. My husband and I were in an alternative lifestyle, we were swingers. Well, we have been married for 17 years and had been doing that for 15 of those years. It has always ALWAYS been just fun on the ...
A. 28 December 2006: I admire anyone who can stand up to have their own opinions counted, but not when they disparage others for having thiers. Please can we offer advice on this forum, not nastiness. Ok, I have been sarcastic at times, but just because the question ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 22 December 2006: I get sensible-r (!?!) the drunker I get (hic!).
Now I am off to shave the cat and stick the fur on my bald spot....
???
x... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 21 December 2006: How sensible was THAT!!... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 21 December 2006: While we are at it may I wish you a very Happy Christmas and a prosperous and healthy 2007.
... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 21 December 2006: While we are at it may I wish you a very Happy Christmas and a prosperous and healthy 2007.
... (read in full...)
After being with bad boys I found someone who treats me well. But..I found porn under his bed and I'm upset. What should I do?
Q. I am 22 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. I have a low self esteem because I got bullied at school (I didn't wear much make up so I guess the other girls were jealous). I had 2 boyfriends when I was at uni early on ...
A. 18 December 2006: You patronise this guy fro being nerdy - then you root thru his personal belongings (c'mon you were not under his bed for any other reason were you?)and then you find his secret stash of porn and expect to be told you are ok for getting worked up? ... (read in full...)
Media images of scantily clad females, what do YOU think?
Q. The Lynx advert; 'Spray more, get more...' with loads of scantily clad females leaping over rocks and parts of their bodies leaping around too, in which to race towards some rather gormless looking guy with a leery grin on his face. What do you thin...
A. 18 December 2006: It is a sales technique thats all. Nobody truely thinks using Lynx is gonna pull every Jordan-esque soft porn model for miles sround. Any more than females think the good looking bloke in the Impulse advert (similar thing here) will come charging ... (read in full...)
| *illywombat's friends
These are mutual friends, so *illywombat has
added them and they have added *illywombat!
|
