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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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Media images of scantily clad females, what do YOU think?
Q. The Lynx advert; 'Spray more, get more...' with loads of scantily clad females leaping over rocks and parts of their bodies leaping around too, in which to race towards some rather gormless looking guy with a leery grin on his face. What do you thin...
A. 31 December 2006: But we seem to be focusing on just the power of women's bodies to sell a product in this here discussion! Like I said before there are so many adverts which use men to sell to both genders and not always in a positive manner. Harking back ... (read in full...)
After being with bad boys I found someone who treats me well. But..I found porn under his bed and I'm upset. What should I do?
Q. I am 22 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. I have a low self esteem because I got bullied at school (I didn't wear much make up so I guess the other girls were jealous). I had 2 boyfriends when I was at uni early on ...
A. 30 December 2006: People should not generalise. many men like porn as do many women. Please keep the answers a little saner!!... (read in full...)
I was going to date her but my feelings have changed. How do I tell her this?
Q. I just want a girl to know that i was gonna ask her for relationship although the feelings are no more now..!!! Anybody could suggest something?...
A. 24 December 2006: Walk away. Why stress about it?... (read in full...)
Is abortion right or wrong?
Q. abortion? wot does everyone think? right or wrong? i would love to know your opinions x x x...
A. 20 December 2006: Stina....no!! Not you as well!!... (read in full...)
I'm Anxious about him getting a text from his ex on New Years Eve!!!
Q. Should i be mad if on New Years Eve, my b/f receievs a text from an ex OR excuses himself a few minutes after midnight to avoid me seeing a text from a girl and to avoid me getting mad about it? I am feeling anxious about it coming up. Last year on ...
A. 20 December 2006: You are worrying about something that HASN'T happened yet. Ask this question when of IF it happens please. Stop wasting energy on something that might never happen.... (read in full...)
My partner says if I keep the baby-I'm raising it on my own! I don't know what to do?
Q. ive been with my partner three and a half years and fell pregnant recently and my partner does not want the baby an dsays if i keep it ill be bringing it up on my own i love this man and dont wont to lose him butknowing i have to get rid of the baby ...
A. 20 December 2006: Right can I just point out that the below comment says it is from a 'male' reader who has had an abortion and is now pregnant - unless i am mistaken this doesn't quite compute.
Look, you may have had this problem, but it doesn't mean that this pers... (read in full...)
Is abortion right or wrong?
Q. abortion? wot does everyone think? right or wrong? i would love to know your opinions x x x...
A. 20 December 2006: Martini, you are obsessed with Sushi!!... (read in full...)
Is abortion right or wrong?
Q. abortion? wot does everyone think? right or wrong? i would love to know your opinions x x x...
A. 20 December 2006: What is the difference between a clump of cells and a fetus? The ability to live and breathe for themselves. Now, please this will all at some point get out of hand. This topic is a personal one that each individual makes under (many times) ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my belly changes sizes everyday! Is this normal?
Q. I am 21 and 3 1/2 months pregnant with my first child, lately I've noticed that my stomach is either bigger or smaller some days and i am not sure if this is normal. I had a litte pudge before I got pregnant and wondering if this is the reason. Any ...
A. 19 December 2006: D'ya know, I wish I had asked somebody this when I was pregnant! I had the same 'problem' and I worried myself sick about it. But after talking to a lot of the mum's at the school (bubby is 6 now) I found out A LOT of people go thru this. You ... (read in full...)
I'm married, but I'm sleeping w/ others! I feel so guilty but can't stop. What do I do??
Q. I am married to a fabulous woman but i am sleeping with a woman at work.I also have a lover off the internet and i have another lover who lives close by. I also have a fuck buddy lady who goes to swingers partys with me i sound like a rite scum...
A. 18 December 2006: Can I just ask how you have the energy and where do you find the time?... (read in full...)
I've been snooping and think I've found stuff out, what do I do next?
Q. My boyfriend age 23 has started a new job and i've found out (by snooping through his phone bill and phone) that he is texting someone from his work who is 12 years older than him on a daily basis. They are texting when i'm not about - what do you ...
A. 18 December 2006: The point you have to come clean about is the snooping. Tell him what you have found and take it from there. As fro the dishonest sim card stuff, don't bother. You are just opening a whole new can of worms not to say you will be being as dishoest ... (read in full...)
I don't mind him looking at porn, but he still lies about it!
Q. I would describe my husband as a good-looking, nice and funny man. He does however have a bad habit that has been pursuing us for two years now. Two years ago I found a lot of trash on my computer (nudity)...I asked him if he visited those websites. ...
A. 18 December 2006: He may be embarrassed. It may be a phase which will pass. You need to ask him about it, all you will egt here are random answers. Only he will know the truth about his actions.
... (read in full...)
After being with bad boys I found someone who treats me well. But..I found porn under his bed and I'm upset. What should I do?
Q. I am 22 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. I have a low self esteem because I got bullied at school (I didn't wear much make up so I guess the other girls were jealous). I had 2 boyfriends when I was at uni early on ...
A. 18 December 2006: You patronise this guy fro being nerdy - then you root thru his personal belongings (c'mon you were not under his bed for any other reason were you?)and then you find his secret stash of porn and expect to be told you are ok for getting worked up? ... (read in full...)
Want to share some research on the effects of porn in relationships. Read this and tell me what you think...
Q. I would be interested to see what other think of this latest research and how it relates to the never ending stream of people being hurt by porn in their relationships....seems for some people porn may be ok and have little impact in the beginning ...
A. 18 December 2006: Sorry to drag this out again, but I really cannot see why the femal anon feels the need to have a go at martini just fro having a differing opinion to hers, taking the whole subject way off track and getting personal too!!
Leave bunny alone you bull... (read in full...)
Want to share some research on the effects of porn in relationships. Read this and tell me what you think...
Q. I would be interested to see what other think of this latest research and how it relates to the never ending stream of people being hurt by porn in their relationships....seems for some people porn may be ok and have little impact in the beginning ...
A. 18 December 2006: Can I join in? Tough, am going to anyway.
Right, Martini, I KNOW where you are coming from and I understand what you are saying TOTALLY. I like the story about the corn cobs and stuff. I understand you are of Asian origin, so your 'culture' prob... (read in full...)
I've done porn, lapdancing, and led a promiscuous lifestyle. Should I stop all this?
Q. dear cupid, i think that i'm too dirty. you see, i have done 3 porn movies, i have been a lapdancer, pole dancer, and i have slept with 2 people at the same time for money. i also go on a lot of porn websites and i sometimes film myself when hav...
A. 18 December 2006: If it makes YOU uncomfortable then stop doing it. If it doesn't and it pays the bills then continue. Why are you asking for confirmation of how YOU PERSONALLY feel on a website. These are your choices honey, so you need to make them based on how ... (read in full...)
Am I likely to be pregnant?
Q. i had unprotected sex a week b4 i was supposed to ovulate and 4 days b4 too. am i more likely to be pregnant than not be. i do not need to worry about sexually transmitted infections as he hasnt had sex with any1 since me as i was his first. help ...
A. 18 December 2006: Unprotected sex at anytime can lead to pregancy - PERIOD!! When will people learn this. If you are old enough to have sex then you are old enough to use contraception.
... (read in full...)
Contraceptive advice - side effects?
Q. Hi. I have a question about birth control. I just started Yasmin about 3 weeks ago and i have this tingling sensation in my right foot and sometimes it's like an itching feeling in my lower calf muscles. I've been on Junel and experienced "charlie ...
A. 18 December 2006: This question needs to be asked of your healthcare provider or GP. You will not get what you need here. You need to have a full medical history taken and be physically examined. Sorry but I can't help you on this one.... (read in full...)
Friends son, off limits or not?
Q. Is it ok to sleep with your friends son? Hope you can help, I recently made friends with someone who i met though mutual friends and she has just moved into my village. I have been to her house a few times and met her son. We went out the other ni...
A. 18 December 2006: How old are you both?... (read in full...)
Stop my period!!
Q. I'm on the pill, is there a way to stop a period from starting? I have a special week coming up and it conflicts with a certain unwanted visitor? ...
A. 18 December 2006: Please check before following the advice given below, or mine for example! We don't even know what sort of pill you are on....D'oh!
I can give you mor complex advice if you write back with exactly what type of pill you are taking.
... (read in full...)
I feel ashamed of my body since he's been looking at porn - I feel this could break us apart
Q. Pornography - How do I cope, I can't compete Found out my fella has been using pornography when he stays in hotels.....this comes after an event 2-3 years ago when I found out he had been looking at porn on my computer.....nearly tore us appart t...
A. 18 December 2006: I love to read 'alternative' answers and am with open minded people like Martini (Bay-be!) and beentheredonethat. I am also slightly jealous of btdt, girl, you have got your life so together - even tho it is way off the 'normal' radar. And you are ... (read in full...)
Stop my period!!
Q. I'm on the pill, is there a way to stop a period from starting? I have a special week coming up and it conflicts with a certain unwanted visitor? ...
A. 18 December 2006: If you are on the combined pill don't have your seven day break when you normally have your 'bleed'. This is not a proper period anyway,and the break is only incorporated into this pill taking behaviour to make women feel more 'normal'. (I know ... (read in full...)
Media images of scantily clad females, what do YOU think?
Q. The Lynx advert; 'Spray more, get more...' with loads of scantily clad females leaping over rocks and parts of their bodies leaping around too, in which to race towards some rather gormless looking guy with a leery grin on his face. What do you thin...
A. 18 December 2006: It is a sales technique thats all. Nobody truely thinks using Lynx is gonna pull every Jordan-esque soft porn model for miles sround. Any more than females think the good looking bloke in the Impulse advert (similar thing here) will come charging ... (read in full...)
Fiance or best friend?
Q. I am engaged to my long time love of 10 years, but I am in love with his best friend, who has recently pronounced his love to me. we want to be together, because we have felt this way for years now, but don't want to hurt my fiances feelings or he ...
A. 18 December 2006: First you need to both be honest with this poor guy you have been stringing along. REGARDLESS of how hurtful it will be to him or yourselves. If you want to be together and you see a furture for you both, then at some point your long term ... (read in full...)
How can I make him and his kids take me seriously?
Q. my fiance lives with me, and due to some unfortunate circumstances, his 2 sons (ages 6,7) came too. I have 2 kids myself. He doesn't parent them, they are rude and disrepectful to me. Sometimes my fiance is rude too. He thinks it's a womans job to ...
A. 18 December 2006: All I can say is go back and read beentheredonethats message. That is all I want to say to you in a small, perfectly formed nutshell..
... (read in full...)
Found something unusual about my vagina! Can you tell if this is normal?
Q. hiya i need help and its a kinda embarrassing question i went with some advice on here to try tampons. so i went on the tampax website to give me advice on how to use them. I found my vagina opening (the bottom part were u get the period) and it h...
A. 18 December 2006: Ask your Gp, they can give you a guided tour. But don't worry about it, all vaginas look different just like noses and toes....
xx... (read in full...)
My bf refused to pay for my food. Should I dump him?
Q. I ordered a piee of pizza last night and the guy behind the counter looked at my boyfriend and said "it's ready". I looked at him and he looked at me and said, "What... aren't you going to pay?" I felt instantly insulted that he didn't offer to buy ...
A. 17 December 2006: Just go Dutch. It solves all these problems. Unless of course it is a special occasion (or you are married like me and end up paying for everything LOL).
XXX... (read in full...)
I'm a 15 year old virgin and he's 20. Should I give up my virginity to him to make this relationship better?
Q. i am only 15 years old and my boy friend is 20 years old i now this relationship is not good..i say this because of the age. well my question is should i give up my virginity to him? i am scared to end up pregnet.but i cant control my orgasums no ...
A. 17 December 2006: Do you want an honest answer?
Having sex with your BF irrespective of any age difference will not make your realtionship 'better'. It will only complicate things.
How?
It will make you more entrnched in something that is already showing sign... (read in full...)
How do I fend this married guy off, in a polite way?
Q. Hi, I am a very conservative person and do not believe in relationships that cross limits before marriage....waiting for Mr right. Problem is recently an ex collague, who is a friend has been hitting on me. He is married so I refuse to acknowledge ...
A. 17 December 2006: You cannot do this politely. He will most probably just not take the hint and think you are playing hard to get. I suggest you make a holy show of him next time he accosts you in public. "What the hell do you think you are playing at ****(insert ... (read in full...)
He pays no attention to me and always looks at other girls? Should I let this one go?
Q. hey there i need help how can i get my boyfriend to pay attention to me he never does. he is always looking at other girls should i break it off with him ?? ...
A. 17 December 2006: I am gonna be really harsh with this. He is a no mark....if this is his behaviour all the time and you are not getting anyhting out of this relationship, dump him.
There, is that what you wanted to hear?
x... (read in full...)
How to tell her she has let herself go?
Q. Ok, here's a tricky one.....I met my gf bout 2 yrs ago. She's 5 yrs my senior (30) and physically she looks ok. The thing is , I get bothered by the fact that she has been a model in her early 20's, only for a few years, bcoz she didnt like the idea ...
A. 17 December 2006: I don't think this guy is actually being so shallow as to judge his GF on her looks. I think in this case he is looking for a way out and is maybe using the cellulite and weight thing thing as an excuse.
... (read in full...)
I'm a man in my 40's and I'm still a virgin! What is wrong with me?
Q. I'm a man in my 40's and I'm still a virgin (I know it's embarrasing). I have a good career ad I try to get to know people but people just seem to avoid me. Even my co-workers, I know I can be a typical boss and despite people thinking I am happy, ...
A. 17 December 2006: Sounds like a film!?!?... (read in full...)
How to tell her she has let herself go?
Q. Ok, here's a tricky one.....I met my gf bout 2 yrs ago. She's 5 yrs my senior (30) and physically she looks ok. The thing is , I get bothered by the fact that she has been a model in her early 20's, only for a few years, bcoz she didnt like the idea ...
A. 17 December 2006: I think this is more to do with your attitude to her than a problem for her, at least on the surface. But the fact that she is telling you how she used to be could indicate that she is harkening after 'the good old days' when she was completely ... (read in full...)
Is my husband's gay tendencies show that he's really gay? Help me out..advice needed!
Q. I am really scared and confused. My husband and I just had our one yr ann. We have a very good sex life, sometimes we watch porn. The past few months he has made more and more comments regarding other mens penises. He also has a lot of naked men ...
A. 17 December 2006: You really need to talk to him about your concerns. Maybe he is bisexual, maybe he is gay....but you cannot find this out from posting a question on here about it. The real answer can only come from him. Also, maybe this is just a fantasy he has. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose her friendship so how do I keep her close to me even though we don't talk much?
Q. I've been best friends with this girl, Jenn, since preschool..we're both 26 years old now (I'm a week older than her.) Anyway, we don't talk that much because she works the night shift and sleeps during the day. and it seems that she's more interest...
A. 17 December 2006: Ask her to spend a little time with you, invite her out fro a drink or for something to eat. Then tell her. You don't have to be accusatory about it, or blame her in any way. All you need to tell her is that you miss her company and is there any ... (read in full...)
All the medication he takes lowers his labido?
Q. I love my boyfriend very much but we don't have sex anymore. he says it is because of all the medication he takes lowers his labido. I ask him to talk to his doc. he didn't. evrything else is good but i am thinking of getting a secerit lover. what ...
A. 17 December 2006: I have a funny feeling this may not be an 'honest' question. Would you like to fill me in on what medication your BF is currently taking? You question is a little vague.... (read in full...)
I was going to date her but my feelings have changed. How do I tell her this?
Q. I just want a girl to know that i was gonna ask her for relationship although the feelings are no more now..!!! Anybody could suggest something?...
A. 17 December 2006: Why?... (read in full...)
In the last 10 years, all my past gf's have broken up with me! Why am I failing at this?
Q. i don't know what is wrong with me. in the last 10 years (i'm 30 now) I have not had 1 serious relationship. I have had 10 "girlfriends" and I've been nice to them, I've listened to them when talking, I've done everything that a respectable ...
A. 17 December 2006: Do you have any personal issues, like body odour, bad teeth or smelly breath? I only ask this because some people find it difficult to confront people with these issues.... (read in full...)
I haven't hear from in 2-3 weeks. I miss him so bad! Any advice?
Q. Recently split with my boyfriend and its been about 2/3 weeks and not heard from him! i miss him so bad! xx...
A. 17 December 2006: Don't go back there. You are probably over the worst so don't seek him out. Move on, he clearly has. Be strong, big hugs...willy.
x... (read in full...)
Am i gay or bi or what?
Q. i am really confused, i only fancy gay or camp men, i only watch male gay porn, but women sometimes really turn me on, is it because i like what they are doing or because i like them? can i ever be straight if i cant fancy straight blokes? there are ...
A. 17 December 2006: Can I offer a little advice on this one, just from my own personal experience. I love an overtly camp bitchy gay man. I also love tranvestities like Eddie Izzard and Franknfurter from the rocky horror show. Then on the other hand I love Robert ... (read in full...)
I keep getting dumped by guys for less attractive girls, what's wrong with me?
Q. I keep getting dumped by guys for less attractive girls, what's wrong with me? Dear all, I don't want to sound presumptous but I'm a very pretty 29 y.o. (I used to model when I was in high school), I've got 3 degrees (law, biology and an MBA...
A. 17 December 2006: You are not short on self esteem, and this is in no way a bad thing. But I do think you may come across as a bit full on, yep, even as intimidating!! Maybe you are just picking the wrong ones......... (read in full...)
Had sex with no protection! Should I take a morning after pill?
Q. I had unportected sex with my long term boyfriend and don't know what to do! should i take the morning after pill?...
A. 17 December 2006: I am with SB on this one. Confide in your Mum, woman to woman - at least she will know you are not putting yourself at risk and are trying to be adult about this.
All the best.
x... (read in full...)
Everyone thinks I'm lying about my bra size!
Q. I have a 30F chest, however it only looks about a 32C, the other day, my friends were going round asking what bra size we all were, and I told one of them she didn't believe me at all. And although i told her not to tell anyone, i think she told ...
A. 17 December 2006: Yes this is possible, but stuff your mates, why worry what tyhey think? What do you need to prove anyhow?
I am 5'9" tall and have your common or garden 36DD, but I look smaller cos I am so tall, everyone is different.... (read in full...)
I feel ashamed of my body since he's been looking at porn - I feel this could break us apart
Q. Pornography - How do I cope, I can't compete Found out my fella has been using pornography when he stays in hotels.....this comes after an event 2-3 years ago when I found out he had been looking at porn on my computer.....nearly tore us appart t...
A. 17 December 2006: Hey Willy is back to muddy up the waters again.
Can nobody here see the bigger picture?
In the UK at the moment there is/are nutter(s) on the loose, so far he/she/they (let's be open minded here)may have murdered up to nine women - 5 of the bodi... (read in full...)
I feel ashamed of my body since he's been looking at porn - I feel this could break us apart
Q. Pornography - How do I cope, I can't compete Found out my fella has been using pornography when he stays in hotels.....this comes after an event 2-3 years ago when I found out he had been looking at porn on my computer.....nearly tore us appart t...
A. 13 December 2006: Wahay, same debate yet again. Some women and men have no problem with porn, some do. Lets just deal with the issue in hand for the questioner....please.... (read in full...)
I feel ashamed of my body since he's been looking at porn - I feel this could break us apart
Q. Pornography - How do I cope, I can't compete Found out my fella has been using pornography when he stays in hotels.....this comes after an event 2-3 years ago when I found out he had been looking at porn on my computer.....nearly tore us appart t...
A. 12 December 2006: Even porn stars cannot compete with porn stars!!
Just remember ALL the images we see in the media (naked or not) are airbrushed, made up and professionally lit to within an inch of thier lives!! NOBODY looks like that in real life, news read... (read in full...)
My partner says if I keep the baby-I'm raising it on my own! I don't know what to do?
Q. ive been with my partner three and a half years and fell pregnant recently and my partner does not want the baby an dsays if i keep it ill be bringing it up on my own i love this man and dont wont to lose him butknowing i have to get rid of the baby ...
A. 10 December 2006: Talk to hijm. Find out why he is reacting like this. You need to open up communication with him. If he won't talk then you need to not only look at what you are going to do about the baby, but also what you going to do about this so called ... (read in full...)
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