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*illywombat agony aunt

*illywombat

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*illywombat's profile:

Felt like changing this, so here goes.

Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.

Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?

Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......

< Prev1234567891011Next > [39 pages, 1505 answers]

My girlfriend has gained weight, but if I say something she'll hate me! How do I tell her?!

Q.   My girlfriend is gaining weight and won’t do anything about it. I need help with my communication. How can I help her? I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I’ve been dating now for the past 13 months. Since the day we met she has slowly been gaining ...

A.   28 January 2007: Wow female anon, You have inspired me as well! Seriously. I shall show your message to my hubby so he will 'prod' me when I get low about my weight.... I am not fat, but I am a bit overweight and yes it does make me miserable...and that show... (read in full...)

I address my boyfriend as "sir" he seems to like this but everyone thinks he's controlling me. What do you think?

Q.   Everyone thinks he over-powers me and tells me what to do, but that's not true! I call him 'sir', but that's of my own will. He'll call my name from the next room and I'll obnoxiously and jokingly answer 'Yessuh' or 'Sir.' and they look at me like ...

A.   27 January 2007: I think it is cute.... You stick with it hun. Am happy now, I knew somebody in Peanuts did that!!... (read in full...)

I address my boyfriend as "sir" he seems to like this but everyone thinks he's controlling me. What do you think?

Q.   Everyone thinks he over-powers me and tells me what to do, but that's not true! I call him 'sir', but that's of my own will. He'll call my name from the next room and I'll obnoxiously and jokingly answer 'Yessuh' or 'Sir.' and they look at me like ...

A.   27 January 2007: Is it the peanuts cartoon with the girl that calls everyone 'Sir'?... (read in full...)

I address my boyfriend as "sir" he seems to like this but everyone thinks he's controlling me. What do you think?

Q.   Everyone thinks he over-powers me and tells me what to do, but that's not true! I call him 'sir', but that's of my own will. He'll call my name from the next room and I'll obnoxiously and jokingly answer 'Yessuh' or 'Sir.' and they look at me like ...

A.   27 January 2007: It is just an idiom of your speech and if you like it then you carry on. I call my husband 'your majesty', sarcasm always wins! lol x... (read in full...)

There was a slight misunderstanding between us but then she threatened to have me arrested!!! Is it just me or did she over react?

Q.   I am a divorced man, live alone, and have my kids every other weekend. There is a woman who lives a few doors down in my same complex. She appeared to be friendly, and we spoke occasionally outside when we ran into each other. The other night at ...

A.   27 January 2007: This sounds like something that has been blown up aout of all proprtion in her mind. She asked you out and you knocked her back. But then because you where freindly I think she read something more into it than it was. Probelm is where do you go f... (read in full...)

Can I reach my girlfriends G-Spot without breaking her hymen?

Q.   My girlfriend is a virgin (no sexual intercourse yet) and I was wondering if it's possible to reach her Gspot with my fingers without breaking her hymen....

A.   27 January 2007: LOL Pete ... (read in full...)

I slept with my manager but later found out he was married! I'm gutted! Everyone at work is gossiping! Help!

Q.   Hi, My problem is I have recently started a new job about two months ago, which was going really well. However at the Christmas party I ended up sleeping with one of the managers. This was made worse by the fact that he is married and is alot old...

A.   27 January 2007: Sweetie, in my opinion you have done nothing wrong. Go back into work and hold your head high. The gossip mongers will soon move onto another topic if you show absolutley no interest in their bitching and gossiping. I can assure you of that. ... (read in full...)

Do I try to make it work with my alcoholic husband?

Q.   O.K. here it goes......My husband is an alcoholic. When I fell in love with him it wasn't a problem. We met in our early 20's so we partied together, nothing uncommon. We have since had 2 boys (5 and 3) and I have matured and calmed down. He has ...

A.   27 January 2007: Patient1, can I ask you this, does he recognise that he has a problem with alcohol or not?... (read in full...)

Can I reach my girlfriends G-Spot without breaking her hymen?

Q.   My girlfriend is a virgin (no sexual intercourse yet) and I was wondering if it's possible to reach her Gspot with my fingers without breaking her hymen....

A.   27 January 2007: I doubt it as I thought the G spot was inside the vagina. But I could be wrong!! I would be intersted if there is a way?... (read in full...)

How long does it take for people to fall in love with each other?

Q.   hello im 16 and just started going out with my boyfriend. he is crazy about me. its just obvious. i really like him aswell. im just wonering how long does it take people to fall inlove with eachother?...

A.   26 January 2007: Sweetie, how long is a piece of string? Some people believe in love at frist sight. Others in something that grows over time. It can happen in a flash or as a slow realisation. I think what I am trying to say is there in no one answer. ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my fiance he should only invite close friends to our wedding?

Q.   Ok so I am engaged and in the process of planning my wedding. I am working on the guest list and I am having some disagreements with my fiance. My fiance comes from a small town where everybody kinda knows everybody. He used to date this girl for ...

A.   26 January 2007: I am going to sound terrible but three men I went out with in my younger years where at my night time do, and my hubbys ex fiance. But after being a little intimidated, (and several galsses of champagne) I though WHO CARES! Because he had marr... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has gained weight, but if I say something she'll hate me! How do I tell her?!

Q.   My girlfriend is gaining weight and won’t do anything about it. I need help with my communication. How can I help her? I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I’ve been dating now for the past 13 months. Since the day we met she has slowly been gaining ...

A.   26 January 2007: I like Max's idea, bedroom aerobics! On the whole it is nearly always difficult to address weight issues with either sex, as most of the time they are already aware of it. No matter how nicely you try to put things they will nearly always hear it a... (read in full...)

I want to have more sex and eventually have a baby - but my husband has a VERY low labido! I'm worried and depressed.

Q.   please some one give me some advice. I am very recently married - we have known eachother for years and our sexual dinamics are definately different - i have always enjoyed sex but although I love my husband in other ways I wouldnt say we have ...

A.   26 January 2007: This is very difficult sweetie. I understand that people have differing levels of libido. How does he respond when you make the first move, will he follow thru or does he turn over completely uninterested? I would suggest in this case psyc... (read in full...)

Snooped a look at my hubby's emails and didn't like the flirty messages I found!

Q.   My husband left for a 3 day business trip a couple days ago. He was in a hurry to leave and forgot to log off his work email. I sat down at the computer and there it was. My curiosity got the better of me and I peeked. I found that he recently ...

A.   26 January 2007: Good to know that sometimes honesty is the best policy. Well done hunny! XX... (read in full...)

Will being on birth control give you a 'false' pregnancy reading?

Q.   Will being on birth control give you a 'false' pregnancy reading? I was just wondering, (uh, yea, lol) if when you are on birth control pills and you take a pregnancy test, will the reading be positive because of the hormones? What about if yo...

A.   26 January 2007: No the contraceptive pill does not affect a pregnancy test reading.... (read in full...)

I left my wife for another girl, but the other girl now refuses to give up her "lifestyle!"

Q.   I recently left my wife, for a girl, I have been having an affair with for two years. she always promised to move to my part of the country, as I have children. Now, she refuses, because she can't bear to give up her life or lifestyle. This...

A.   26 January 2007: Referring to a woman (which I presume she is) as a girl always sounds slightly seedy. You have been played by a player. Busted!! She was enjoying herself when it wasn't exclusive probably because she doesn't want to commit. You are comp... (read in full...)

What do you recommend to get rid of heavy acne? Any ideas?

Q.   i've got heavy acne. my skin is always oily. i've used tea tree oil, facial scrub's all by best companies sellin expensive products. any thing you recommend to try? also where my spots die i sometimes accidently cut my spots when shaving. this has ...

A.   25 January 2007: I reccomend a trip to the GP then a referral to a dermatologist. I used Lymecyline (a Tetracyline antibiotic) and it worked wonders.... (read in full...)

My uncle is touching me inappropriately and offering me money! What should I do?

Q.   Hello. My uncle has been touching me up around the chest area and i don't know what to do. He also keeps texting and asking to see me and offering me money. My Ex-Boyfriend has given me a few choices as follows. - Tell police. - ...

A.   25 January 2007: You are 16 therefore you can report this to the police as your own person. You do not need to inform your family, although they obviously will find out. What was the previous incident?... (read in full...)

Ashamed of my sexual past and he insists on knowing it all! Plus he calls me ugly names! What should I do?

Q.   OBSESSION ABOUT SEXUAL PAST? I became involved with a married man 7 years ago. He was divorced in summer ‘06; separated in spring ‘05. 5 1/2 years of the 7 years was long-distance and he often sent mixed signals (duh, he was married.) The a...

A.   25 January 2007: I forget you get to pick your surgeons over there don't you. Good luck with the physical thing, and I hope the mental thing will work out too.... (read in full...)

Ashamed of my sexual past and he insists on knowing it all! Plus he calls me ugly names! What should I do?

Q.   OBSESSION ABOUT SEXUAL PAST? I became involved with a married man 7 years ago. He was divorced in summer ‘06; separated in spring ‘05. 5 1/2 years of the 7 years was long-distance and he often sent mixed signals (duh, he was married.) The a...

A.   24 January 2007: I have only ever seen one case of LES. I know that there are treatments involving Nifedipine (Adalat) and Isosorbide Dinitrate (Isordil) and also Botulinum block that can be performed. I know the incidence is about i in 100,000 people being ... (read in full...)

Ashamed of my sexual past and he insists on knowing it all! Plus he calls me ugly names! What should I do?

Q.   OBSESSION ABOUT SEXUAL PAST? I became involved with a married man 7 years ago. He was divorced in summer ‘06; separated in spring ‘05. 5 1/2 years of the 7 years was long-distance and he often sent mixed signals (duh, he was married.) The a...

A.   24 January 2007: In answer to your question 'am I a gastroenterologist'? can I answer no, but I am a qualifies theatre nurse and have worked on a agstroenterolgy unit. So YES, sorry to disappoint you, but I DO know what I am talking about. Secondly, need to just... (read in full...)

Do I need help? Can't stop myself from looking at porn and I want to stop!

Q.   dear cupid, im 17 years old and i keep looking on the internet for porn, i only look at it because there is nothing else to look at. I try to tell myself not to go on it but i just do. Do i need some kind of help? i have been doing this for over a ...

A.   23 January 2007: Stop worrying about this and enjoy it. It is normal for you to want to see images of sex at your age. Stop worrying. ... (read in full...)

He's taken to watching porn, but says its my fault as I cant have sex at the moment!!!

Q.   now it is worse! I have gone broadband after my bloke convincing me it would be faster for me on ebay etc, I did this on the 12th jan. all good, but on 18th i go out for my daughters 11th birthday to find he has been using it for big boobs porn and ...

A.   23 January 2007: There is no wonder the communication, sexual or otherwise, has gone out of the window in this relationship. Look at how you talk about this man you are with because you allegedly 'love' him. How did the stress he put you under make you lose your... (read in full...)

I never used to like porn but now I think it's ok. Should I tell my boyfriend about my change of heart?

Q.   Ok so i've been with my bf for almost 10 yrs. when we met i was just 16. I have always been against porno where on the other hand he likes it. We used to get into fights about him watching it because it made me feel inadequete.Although i told him i ...

A.   23 January 2007: As we get older so our tastes and beliefs can change. a personality is not set in stone, it develops and changes as well. So do our interests, likes and dislikes. I think if you told him he would be a little 'shocked' because of your past stance ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't a guy call when you give him your number?

Q.   This question has probably been asked so many times... but if you meet a guy at a party, and he spends the whole evening talking to you, seems really into you, gets your number and tells you hes going to call you... WHY DOESN'T HE?! It's been 3 ...

A.   23 January 2007: Because he just is not that bothered. It happens a bit in life, we build our hopes up, they come crashing down when it doesn't pan out. Move on hunny! x... (read in full...)

Met this girl - scared to ask her out!

Q.   right my final question! just briefly: i've met this girl i like once before. since than she's asked for my msn and just now mobile number. i want to get to know her more and go somewhere as friends, dont wanna scare her off but accordin to her i'm ...

A.   23 January 2007: How about go for something to eat first, then you can see if the converstaion goes anywhere or you ahve any 'chemistry'. Then onto the pictures? This can serve two purposes you see. If the converstation/chemistry is crappy you don't have to talk ... (read in full...)

One of my best friends has such mood swings! I'm sick of it!

Q.   Me and my two best friends have been that way for ages. We do everything together, and have the best time. However, recently, one of them, lets call her Tina, has been annoying both me and my other friend, she has a fiery personality, and you can ...

A.   23 January 2007: How old are you all? Has this only started to happen recently? Have you told her she is not as pretty as you others? Maybe, just maybe, this girl KNOWS she cannot compete in the beauty stakes and has decided to make herself a big personality.... (read in full...)

How do I get him to want to be with me more? Any tips?

Q.   i just want my bf to want to spend more time with me... he says its impossible to send a lot of time together but the truth is its just too much work for him and he doesnt want to...how do i get him to want to be with me more???...

A.   23 January 2007: My tip....stop appearing so desperate. Get yourself a life where you have to make time for him instaed of the other way round. Make him WORK for a smidgeon of your time, make him grateful to have you by backing right off. Whilst he has you on ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has been "disappearing"... Once a cheater always a cheater?

Q.   Dear Cupid I am 22 and I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years he has a history of cheating he said that for the past 3 years he has'nt cheated on me anymore things have been good but for the past few weeks he began disappearing for long hours a...

A.   23 January 2007: I think you already know what this guy is up too and you have come on here in order to validate your own suspicions. Go with your instincts as max says. You know what he is doing in your heart. You are so much better than sitting around at home... (read in full...)

Worried that other people think he's "sick and twisted" because of our age-gap!

Q.   Hello, My name is Chelsea and I am 18 years old. I've recently become involved with one of my good friends named Matt. Matt is 9 years older than me, so he is 27. We've been friends since I was 17 and now we're dating. Matt and I are really goo...

A.   23 January 2007: Sweetie, you two are obviously happy together. What you are worrying about is only a POTENTIAL problem, it is not even a problem yet! This is not to make it seem trivial, because it obviously matters to you. But if you are happy and you are not ... (read in full...)

He's off to a motor bike rally and doesn't want me with him! Should I be worried?

Q.   Hi, I'm not sure if anyone here has heard or been to these biker rallys but this is where my b/f is going and here is what I have to say: I have been together with my b/f for about 2 years. I know you are supposed to trust but i feel its...

A.   23 January 2007: Is the problem with him having fun? Going away with his mates? Or because there is a wet t shirt contest or two?... (read in full...)

Should I leave my wife for a friend I met years ago when I was at uni?

Q.   I am 33 years old, married for 5 years and have a 5 month old daughter. When I was in Uni, 13 years ago, prior to meeting my wife, I fell in love with a girl that I was in my same class. On the occasion we did flirt, cuddle, kiss etc, but no more ...

A.   23 January 2007: In short, I think you are having cold feet about the marriage thing. This is normal.....a sort of 'is this it?' thing that some people get. I would (in your place) distance yourself from this friend from the past and work at your marriage to be h... (read in full...)

He wants to date my best friend but still wants me! What should I do?

Q.   I feel my boyfriend wants to go out with my best friend but still wants to keep me...

A.   23 January 2007: Er....ask him? What gives you this impression?... (read in full...)

I think my friend has mental problems!

Q.   Dear Everyone, i have a friend who is going to get engaged but i dont think he is mentally stable to do that. first of all he says he is agnostic then he says he is spirtual but not religous. i dont know does he really know what he is sayin...

A.   23 January 2007: First who are you to stop him 'comitting to your other friend'? Second, maybe he doesn't know what he is either, maybe he is having a crisis of faith? Third, why would this make you think he has 'mental problems'?... (read in full...)

Is it normal to touch yourself when having an orgasm?

Q.   IS IT NORMAL TO TOUCH YOURSELF WHEN HAVING AN ORGASM?...

A.   23 January 2007: Yes... next?... (read in full...)

Ashamed of my sexual past and he insists on knowing it all! Plus he calls me ugly names! What should I do?

Q.   OBSESSION ABOUT SEXUAL PAST? I became involved with a married man 7 years ago. He was divorced in summer ‘06; separated in spring ‘05. 5 1/2 years of the 7 years was long-distance and he often sent mixed signals (duh, he was married.) The a...

A.   23 January 2007: Hang about, you didn't LIe to this guy, unless it was by the act of omitting to tell him everything. BUT, very few people want to tell everything about themselves, or even manage to in this situation. After all it is YOUR past and as such has ... (read in full...)

Another guy walked in on us having sex and joined in. I told him to leave and he wouldn't! Is this rape?

Q.   Ok. i have been thinking. I went to a bar a while ago and eneded up going home with a guy i knew of from high school. well we were having sex and another guy popped in and began messing with me as well. I didnt want this other guy there at all. but ...

A.   23 January 2007: Could you have gotten away? Did you try? Or did you just half heartedly tell him to 'gerrof'? I do not like to differentiate bewteen 'rapes' but you have not given us enough to go on here. You do not say what your actions where. Please give some... (read in full...)

Can a girl get pregnant on her period?

Q.   Well me and my girl have been together for 18 months and last week on friday 3 days before her period was over i had decided to have unprotected sex with her and wanted to know if you can get preganant while on your period?...

A.   21 January 2007: MAX!! What a pedantic answer! Well OF COURSE then you have nothing to worry about, but you would not ask this question in the first place would you? D'ur!! Now if you are gonna make comments like that I shall get cross. Go sit in the corner. ... (read in full...)

Bf is concerned that if I get braces-I will look ugly and not be able to give him blowjobs! Any advice for me?

Q.   Can I still give a blowjob if I get braces? I'm thinking of getting one, but my bf wouldn't want me to because he says it will make me look ugly and I might not be able to give him blowjobs because it might hurt the both of us. I wonder if I would ...

A.   21 January 2007: Right....ONE. You may not be with this bloke forever, but the ugly crooked teeth will be around forever unless you get them sorted. TWO. Unless you are planning on chewing his penis or are in the habit of using your teeth for a blowjob it will not ... (read in full...)

During sex..wife get headaches and feels like she's having a heart attack! What can we do?

Q.   my wife feels like she is having a heart attack and gets a severe headache every time she gets really aroused during sex. what can we do? ...

A.   21 January 2007: You need to go to the GP to get a through MOT done. This is very often an indicator of high blood pressure tho. Good luck. x... (read in full...)

Can a girl get pregnant on her period?

Q.   Well me and my girl have been together for 18 months and last week on friday 3 days before her period was over i had decided to have unprotected sex with her and wanted to know if you can get preganant while on your period?...

A.   21 January 2007: This question has been asked and answered many times before. YES!! If you have unprotected sex at ANY time it can result in pregnancy...period... That was not a joke by the way!... (read in full...)

He's an internet junkie - how can they be cured?

Q.   my husband is an internet junkie and its going to split us up helllp please...

A.   21 January 2007: Slightly difficult this one! I mean what do you judge to be 'junkie' use of the internet? How much is he on it? What does he do when he is on it? What do you do for hobbies that you would like him to share with you? Do you do anyhting together?... (read in full...)

I told her I wanted marriage-she went cool and broke off with me! I want her back...advice please?

Q.   How can I win her back? I've been going out with this girl for almost 7 years, then out of the blue she broke up with me. She stated that she loves me, she can’t marry me and that I should find someone better then her. I stated that I’m old enough t...

A.   21 January 2007: I have to ask you...in what way have you 'changed'? You say you must convince her you have changed... Is there some underlying dynamic that you are not going into on here?... (read in full...)

I told her I wanted marriage-she went cool and broke off with me! I want her back...advice please?

Q.   How can I win her back? I've been going out with this girl for almost 7 years, then out of the blue she broke up with me. She stated that she loves me, she can’t marry me and that I should find someone better then her. I stated that I’m old enough t...

A.   20 January 2007: I think (this is just my opinion) that she just is not sure if she loves you any more. I also believe that because you have chased her with phone calls etc)you have messed up your chances of a reconcilitation. She says she would rather not say if ... (read in full...)

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