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Is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?

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Question - (19 October 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2007)
A female Cocos (Keeling) Islands age 30-35, *lowetinka writes:

is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007):

AND I would also like to add that my dad used to be taller than my mom by a good 3 inches, but as he aged, he got shorter. That, or my mom somehow got taller. Either or, they're still very much in love and together. ^o^

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007):

It's totally and utterly okay if you're okay with it. Yes, through common society, it might be a bit weird, because it's uncommon, but this is really how much you can personally accept it. If over time, you find it's not your thing, then don't do it. However, let's say you're okay with it and your man is okay with it, then it's all good.

Personally, I wouldn't want my girl to be too tall, preferrably shorter because I do have a bit of a traditional macho approach to this sort of thing. Mind you if I am interested enough with that person, I could definitely tolerate equal height or possibly even half an inch to an inch taller. It really depends on combination and compatibility between two people.

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A female reader, desirewhitefire Austria +, writes (19 October 2007):

desirewhitefire agony auntMy last boyfriend was about 3 inches shorter than me, and I weighed about 40 more pounds than he did. We got some odd looks, but we loved each other and it didn't matter what anyone else thought. We were happy.

Sometimes I thought it would be nice to date someone bigger than me, and yeah, wearing heels was hard because then I completely dwarfed him, and my mum would always call him "the Troll", but really, our personalities fit and we had a lot of chemistry. We broke up after 5 years because we turned from teenagers into adults and people change, so it was best to move on. We're still great friends though.

If the comments your parents might make or the weird looks you're probably going to get on occasion aren't going to affect how you feel about your boyfriend, then it doesn't really matter at all, does it?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (19 October 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntIt's okay for your boyfriend to be any size. What he looks like never matters, it's what inside that counts. Is he a good guy? Does he treat you well? Does he respect you? Do you get along? THAT'S what matters.

xxIndia

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (19 October 2007):

stina agony auntHello clowetinka ,

I hardly ever write about someone's specific comment, but I have to address the anonymous commenter who said "definantly not ok. I mean what if you wear some stilletos, he's guna be a wimp next to you, no offense. ..." This is a bunch of crap. I'm taller than my husband and when I wear heels, he doesn't all of a sudden turn into a "wimp." This piece of "advice" is garbage. It's a narrow and shallow way of thinking. And honestly, it seems as though it's written by someone who is a preteen and who hasn't had much experience in real world relationships.

But this person's comment brings up a good point: there will always be ignorant comments like this, but what really matters is how you feel about each other and how well you treat each other. Would you rather be with someone short who treats you well, never cheats on you, considers your feelings, etc? Or be with someone who is taller but treats you with little respect, acts selfish and generally treats you like dirt? My point is that it's not all about looks. It should be more about how compatible you are together.

Take care.

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (19 October 2007):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntSomeones height has nothing to do with liking the overall person. If he's already your bf then you are already there. If you are subconcious of it then it might pose a problem. But if you really like him or love him don't let that worry you it isn't a big deal. You could try wearing flats, no heels. Tennis shoes without extra thick soles. He could even try shoes that might give him an extra inch or two of height. But don't make him feel like something is wrong, be tactful. Try something like I love looking into your handsome face as you look down at me! Smiles*..Have fun, good luck and God bless.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

definantly not ok. I mean what if you wear some stilletos, he's guna be a wimp next to you, no offense. But hey love is love...=D

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

If it's ok for Tom Cruise, Rod Stewart, Jamie Cullum and others, I guess it's ok for you. If that's what you want!

Phil

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A male reader, Aredas Switzerland +, writes (19 October 2007):

Aredas agony auntOf course it is!!! the thing that matters most is not height, but how well you fit personality wise. :)

Aredas

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

Of course. It will feel awkward at first, but after a while it will grow on you two. If you ever break up, you might have to get used to guys being bigger than you again. But its definitely ok.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (19 October 2007):

Danielepew agony auntYes. Don't worry about heights. Tall women are great.

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