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Should I wait until he's divorced before I go after him?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 October 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2007)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

I fancy a man going through a divorce. Should I wait til the divorce has gone through before I start the chase?

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A female reader, ohwoesme United States +, writes (15 October 2007):

If you are friend's with him at all?..Is he happy about the divorce..are there children?..dont be the rebounder...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007):

I met my boyfriend whilst being separated not divorced - it has been very difficult on both of us because I have shielded him from all the hassle that I've had and the strain has, at times, taken its toll. Given the choice I wish I had taken things a lot slower with my boyfriend but at the end of the day you will be instinctive. Just be ready for a rocky road - it may or may not be worth it. Ultimately he will need both space and support - a difficult balance to get right!

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A female reader, down to earth United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2007):

down to earth agony aunthow about you let him kno how you feel but i still think you should give him some space b4 you start movin to him let me kno wot you think ??

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (15 October 2007):

stina agony auntHello Anonymous,

I, like the others, suggest waiting. Going through a divorce is really hard on someone's emotions. You don't quite know how he'll react and how genuine his feelings for you will be. (That's not his fault, though.) You may end up being the rebound girlfriend.

If I were you, I'd give him his space, but let him know that you will be there for him as a friend. Perhaps during this time, you'll grow closer and can date once things are over between him and his wife.

I would also be cautious of any advances he makes with you. If he asks you to date him or tries to do anything sexual with you, I would tell him that you respect him enough to wait until his ordeal is over.

But the bottom line is that you don't want to get mixed up in his divorce situation - all of the emotions he's going through. You don't want to get tangled up in that. Just be there for him.

Take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007):

You are best waiting until well after his divorce and when things have really settled down. Then go and only then go after him. Divorces are very upsetting at the best of time, and even if his isnt too bad, his mind wont be on anything else. You need to wait until he has gone through it so that he can give you 100% of himself. That is if he even wants or needs to be around someone else!

Take care and be patient.

xxx

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (15 October 2007):

kenny agony auntYes i would certainly wait till his divorce has gone through before you start the chase. Its probably going to be a tough time going through the divorce so i doubt he would welcome advances while all that was going on. So wait till its all over and he is a single man again, then make a move.

Take care x

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