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Does splitting chores help the bond?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

ok is it a good idea to do things with my man like go do laundry together and stupid things that need done will this help our bond

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (10 October 2007):

Yes, the more things you do together the more you find out how well you can work together.

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A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2007):

Andy00 agony auntI agree with, Stina. A little more detail will give us a little more understanding into your problem.

I would like to think that you are not doing this to earn his respect. He should have respect for you as a person without you helping him with his chores.

Incidently, who is HE? Is he a boyfriend? Just a friend?...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

I think if you expect him to pull his weight and do his share, yes it will help him respect you..I am a stay at home mom, and my husband works all day then when he gets home, he takes care of the baby for most of the rest of the evening. I clean, cook and take care of the bills, and business things such as accounts, etc, he brings home the money and helps with the baby. He does man jobs like fixing things, I make him vacuum once in a while, and help me fold the baby's laundry & put it away. It is great when there is an understanding in a relationship like you do this or help me, and I'll do that or help you..as long as nobody is complaining or acting like a baby about it, I think it helps your relationship. My ex used to never pull his weight and that is something that gets very old over time, so you do not want that to happen.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (10 October 2007):

stina agony auntHello again,

Your new updated just popped up. What do you mean by "will it help him respect me?" What do you mean by that? In wha sense does he not respect you? I'm just wondering because maybe if we have more details, we can help out even further with more recommendations.

Thanks!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (10 October 2007):

kenny agony auntYes i think it will help the bond, because ultimately you are both working together as a unit which is good. Alternatively splitting the chores is not bad either, like say you were indoors hoovering, you partner could be out mowing the lawn. Or like you could be ironing he could be washing the car. I think it works both ways, you both do what feels right for you both.

All the best & good luck x

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A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2007):

Andy00 agony auntI would have said doing anything together would help your bond. And if it makes the chore a little better than it would have been without the other's company, then what's the harm in that?

I'd say, yes, this will help your bond. But beware, sometimes people need space, so, I wouldn't advise this be something you do constantly, unless you both really enjoy it.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (10 October 2007):

stina agony auntHi Anonymous,

Well, it depends on what the chores are and how well you each "like" to do them. For example, I hate vacumming (mainly because I have a bad back) so my husband will do that. He hates cleaning up after the dogs, so I'll do that (I'd rather do it myself than hear his screaming about a mess they've made. lol) But we'll both dust, do the laundry, clean the dishes, etc. together. It's always better working as a team! It just makes you feel more involved with one another in a different aspect of the relationship. It also helps to curb any potential arguments about who does what around the house. ^_^

Not sure if this was the answer you were looking for, but hopefully I've helped at least a little bit!

Take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

awesome will it help him respect me ??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

If you live with him, yes chores should be split up. And doing anything together will help your bond grow..

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