A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I matched with a guy online. We have FaceTimed one and agreed to meet on date however before the date I changed my mind as he was very pushy and whilst at work he sent me repeated messages despite knowing I was at work asking why I was ignoring him, after work I explained to him I had been at work and not on my phone and I politely told him I was no longer up for meeting as I worked long hours and cannot be on my phone and do not see us working and can’t come home to a row of angry messages, I was polite and wished him the best. He then the next day sent me messages on social media whilst i was out with my friends calling me abusive words and commenting upon my posts and accusing me of sleeping with men, I blocked him and reported him and blocked his number. I thought that would be end of it. He however has Created new accounts and used another number to contact me he has send me 15 messages saying why am I ignoring him, he says I cheated on him, we were never together I’ve never met him. He’s saying things like I’m his girlfriend and how dare I treat him like this and that we were getting married and how dare I go out and he has gone through my social media calling me a slag and slut and I’m getting tired of the abuse , I keep blocking and reporting and again an abusive message will come for blocking him and he says things like how dare I post on social media when I’m his girlfriend and block him. He is relentless and I have no idea why he is calling me his girlfriend we’ve never even met!! I even was polite when cancelling the date and I have never insulted him despite his abusive messages and I just find his behaviour odd and he’s posting about me online being a slag and cheating on him and saying we were getting married it’s all very odd and he’s been through my soicla media messaging guys off it asking them how they know me. He won’t leave me alone and now feel I can’t use social media as he knows what I’m doing and who would waste time like this creating new accounts etc, a jelaous ex doesn’t even act this way his messages are relentless, I’ve reported him multiple times but nothing gets done. It’s getting to point where I feel I’ll have to change to my number and delete my social media which I’m not the one in wrong here, you can’t go round sending peoplle abusive messages when they don’t reply when at work I even told him I was working and expect them to still want to meet up with you, I was even very polite, I was honest with him but in no way rude. And I haven’t messaged him back since and he swears, he’s called me names I cannot repeat on here, he’s accused me of sleeping with four guys at once when I was with my friend, he’s commented insulting things on my social media, he’s called me a slag 26 mesages in a row, he’s told me I’m worthless trash that deserves to be cheated on and used for sex and that I’m single because I’m a whore and no man could ever want such a slag and when at work hes called repeatedly from with held numbers. I have a very stressful job and it’s not nice seeing these missed calls then seeing all his abuse from new accounts, he just won’t stop and he’s messaged guys telling them he’s my boyfriend and is posting about me supposedly cheating on him he makes out we are in a relationship, it’s just insane.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2024): I would class this as stalking and contact the cyber police as he is harassing you.
I'm sorry you're going through all this and hope that in future you won't give out much information about yourself so soon.
Also, could you find other ways of meeting people? The Internet works for some people but if you were to meet someone in real life, through friends for instance, you'd have some support. Maybe join a club or meet up group?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2024): I think at this stage you should get either courts or police involved. It may not have gotten to the point of them taking you seriously, but this is a safety issue at this point. Has he made any threats to you?
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (11 March 2024):
 I am sorry to hear what you are going through, there really are some unstable cranks out there. You have not done anything wrong here, but I understand how worrying this must be for you.
I agree with Honeypie & YCNBS, I think you should keep all the correspondence and go the police and tell them all that you have told us.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 March 2024):
 Yikes!
Whatever social media you are on, SET your privacy settings ASAP. Especially your pictures.
Set them so only "friends" or "mutuals" can see your posts.
As much as it SUCKS - get a new phone number.
Also, call the Police and ask what you need to do to report online/phone harassment (they probably can't do much).
Does he know where you live? If you, you need to consider your security at home. Even if he has never been to your place, he can goggle an LOT before "visiting". And he sounds unhinged.
Does he know where you work? What company? If so, you need to see if your company can flag his name/number in their system so he can't CALL the company after you change your number.
As for all his messages, DO NOT take them to heart. He obviously isn't right in the head.
You say you matched online (on a dating app?) IF you can contact that app/website and REPORT him/his account, DO IT now. Keep screenshots and forward them when you report him BEFORE you get new number.
I'm so sorry you have encountered this nutso guy.
Please stay safe.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (10 March 2024):
 The guy sounds insane. Most worryingly, he sounds dangerous. Does he know where you live or work? No idea about other social media but I know on Facebook you can close down your account so only your friends can see it. Don't post on any social media where you go, as he could turn up.
Unfair as it is, I think you will need to change your number.
The other thing you definitely need to do is report this to the police if you have not already done so. The guy is totally unhinged and, if he does manage to find you, at least there will be a record of his behaviour.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (10 March 2024):
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