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She is in pursuit of me

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2024) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 February 2024)
A male United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

So about a month ago this girl I was close friends with cut contact from me. We kind of had an argument and then other people said some things/rumors she got upset about.

For the past week or so she seems to be for lack of a better word 'in pursuit' of me or more like following me. I am still upset and kind of hurt about the situation so I am cautious and have been avoiding her.

First I noticed she will smile when she sees me like for example walking down the hall but I can't tell if it's fake or not...like how people pretend to be friendly?! If she sees me she has waited to open the door (almost going out of her way). We were working to clean up some mess and she basically insisted on taking the trash and did a little curtsie/bow to me as if she was being chivalrous or something. It also seems she will kind of find reasons to make small talk with me. If there is a friend group she will come up and join in, but if I walk away and go to another group she will literally walk to the new group I start talking to and start talking with them too. If I go down a hallway and she is coming I will walk away, walk slow, or go the other direction. Well, she walked around so I would still see and come into contact with her. Then she just happened to show up at a place I hang out that she is almost never at and was talking with some friends there. Sometimes she stands behind me and I happen to notice she's there. She just seems to pop up. What is her deal? Does this mean she has a crush on me and is wanting to talk and be friends again? I'm not sure why she's acting this way

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2024):

She cut ties with you and is now inserting herself in your space to keep you from ignoring her? I wouldn't go as far as to say she has a crush, but she might want to still be friends. It would help to know what the rumors were about that upset her - for example, maybe you were just friends and ppl started rumors that you two were into each other. I'm not assuming, just an example. I'd talk to her, esp if you have some contact info she was cool with like a #, Facebook messenger, something that isn't public. If not, pull her aside and say, "Hey Stephanie, I thought you wanted to cut ties. Are we cool again? I'm confused." Then if she is, maybe you can talk privately more matter of fact what happened to make you cut tied, the rumors, and what you both want.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (29 January 2024):

kenny agony auntTo be honest you are never going to know if she has a crush on you unless you actually ask her.

I really don't think she would follow you around and do the things she does if she never liked you, you would just not put that effort in for someone you never liked.

Forget the past, ask her if she wants to do something and take it from there.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 January 2024):

Honeypie agony auntHow about you USE your words?

Ask her? Talk to her?

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