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I sent my ex a short email. Do you think I ruined my chances of getting back together?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 August 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2007)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

After a month and a half of initiating no contact with my ex-girlfriend, I dropped her a short email today welcoming her back from a trip and asking her how things went.

She had contacted me a few times via instant messenger since the breakup, but, as I said, I managed to avoid initiating any contact with her.

I am still crazy about her, and was hoping that she would miss me.

Is this email likely to hurt the likely slim chances I have of getting back together with her?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, my ex

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A male reader, Wildlife dude Philippines +, writes (2 August 2007):

Wildlife dude agony auntI seriously doubt it. But I wouldn't count on it or anything else you do at this point of magically repairing the relationship. I don't know who broke up with whom, but it is a break up afterall. It's usually best to move on anyhow.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (2 August 2007):

stina agony auntHello Anonymous,

Will your email hurt your chances of getting back together with your ex? I don't know.

Did she break up with you? Did she tell you that she didn't want to speak with you? Has she contacted you since the email? What did she say when she imed you after the break up?

I don't think that anyone will really be able to answer this question - there are so many details missing and everyone reacts differently to various situations.

The best thing I can tell you is that at least this opens up a dialogue between the both of you. If she responds to your message in a positive way, then that's great! If it's negative, then you know where she stands. And if she ignores it, then at least it's not as heartbreaking as having her hang up the phone on you. And unless she stated that she didn't want to talk with you, then you know you didn't do anything wrong.

The only solid piece of advice I can give is that you'll know where she stands by sending your email. (It may take her a while to get back to you if you haven't tried to talk with her - she may be thinking about what she wants to tell you.)

Sorry I couldn't be of more help - but I think this is just one of those times where you'll just have to wait and see.

Take care.

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