| Latest articles: I'm a thoroughly modern brand of old-fashioned
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 August 2016: I was particularly amused by a recent comment about my views. I was described as living in “the 1950s,” which I found highly amusing. But when I’d had my chuckle, I got to thinking: what would it be like to be stuck in the 50s? How does the ...
I hate cheating, but not as much as a failure to forgive
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 August 2015: IT’s been the story that hasn’t gone away all week. Ashley Madison sent journalists in to a spin trying to access the 9.7 gb of data leaked on to the internet, trying to find any public figures who may be embroiled in the scandal. Suspicious spouses ...
Childless by choice: please stop judging us
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2015: This morning, as usual, I was perusing the questions on Dearcupid, when I stumbled across a question from a woman regarding her feelings about not wanting a child. Although I gave a comprehensive answer to the question, it touched a nerve with me, ...
On-line dating: my honest look
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 January 2014: On-line dating: my honest look Those who read my column with any regularity will know there is considerable absence of references to my personal life. I am, for the most part, keen to concentrate on advising because, good advice is good no matte...
Revenge is sweet: A Greek tragedy that I think will make you think twice about that.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 March 2013: REVENGE IS SWEET: A Greek tragedy that I think will make you think twice about that. Revenge, they say, is sweet. Well British people have, if they have been following the news, witnessed a very public case in point to prove that the reverse can ...
Nollaig na mBan: A day for the ladies
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 January 2013: Nollaig na mBan: A day for the ladies You may or may not know that in Ireland, the date of 6 January is known as Women’s Christmas (Nollaig na mBan). On this day, the tradition (still strong in parts of the country) is that men take responsibil...
|
Drunken one nite stand is threatening to tell my girlfriend what happened!
Q. I've been seeing my girlfriend for just over a year, I love her to bits. About 4-months ago I had a one night stand, not full blown sex but heavy fondling. I'd drunk wayyy too much. Halfway through I came to my senses stopped and went home. The ...
A. 12 November 2012: Come clean before they tell her. It’s quite understandable why you didn’t say anything at the time. You got drunk, and you made a mistake. If you’d learned your lesson then there would be no need to hurt your girlfriend by telling her what happened. ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly and taking a crush on my teacher too far?
Q. I'm 18 and in my final year in school and I have fallen hard for my English teacher. I'm a lesbian and out to my whole year group and everything is fine, none of the teachers know as I never needed any advice or anything, it was something I dealt ...
A. 11 November 2012: You will have to find a way to forget about the crush because nothing will come of it, and perhaps leaving and moving on will help you do that. You seem a smart, switched on young lady and the intensity of this crush is likely to fade as you go on ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't people know each other for more than three months before deciding to marry?
Q. I'm not asking this question because I'm in a situation to get married. I'm waaaay too young for that, so don't mention anything like that. I'm just wondering, does anyone else think that knowing each other for too short of a time means you s...
A. 11 November 2012: Sometimes couples marry very quickly like this and it does work out. But those are the exception rather than the rule and there’s a lot of good luck involved there. Generally, whilst the time needed for each couple will differ, 3 months is far too ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is gutted by her 12 year old son's refusal to speak to her
Q. Hi Everyone, I really need help and advice. My girlfriend, she is a wonderful mother to her 2 children, her daughter 14 lives with us, her son is 12 and lives with his dad, we live 5 hours away from her son. Her ex and her have been seperated f...
A. 11 November 2012: Has he always resented his mother like this since the split, or has he just suddenly cut her out in this way since Friday? If he hasn’t given her a reason for his anger it may well be that he is being manipulated by his father and poisoned against ... (read in full...)
Caught with best friends dad
Q. over the space of about 10 /11 months me and my high school best friends dad have started a relationship and not until recently did it turn sexual we had met at his house whilst she was not in and kissed and touched but we had never had sex and ...
A. 6 November 2012: Where is this going? Is it just sex? If so then is it really worth risking your friendship and his relationship with his son and daughter? If you do want to have a relationship together, however, all you can do is be upfront about it. Your friend ... (read in full...)
My wife is starting to get on my nerves.
Q. I will keep it short and sweet. I am between jobs right now and finding it hard to find one. Means I am around my wife a lot. A WHOLE lot. She doesn't drive so she relys on me to get her around too so bottom line is my wife is starting to get on my ...
A. 6 November 2012: It’s only natural that when you spend this much time with some-one you’re going to notice all the little faults more and things will start to irritate you. The only thing to do is try and have a conversation with her about giving each other space. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend swears at me and calls me names but I love him. Should I dump him?
Q. I am having a serious problem. My bf always swears at me, calling me all sorts of names, and I really hate that when he bought me something and do something wrong, when I confront him he wants his things back. I really love him but very confused...
A. 6 November 2012: You’re right it’s not easy, and it can be a really painful thing to dump some-one. But honestly, what exactly is there to love about this man? He treats you appallingly and has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever. Love isn’t enough, it really ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my wife's 22 year old niece that I want to be with her?
Q. For the past year or so I have dreampt of being with my wifes 22 yr old neice, Her and I spent a weekend together in July and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Ironically, I do believe it came from her too as when she was ...
A. 6 November 2012: You don’t talk about your wife at all here. Have you separated? If not then perhaps you should instead be thinking of how much this will hurt her and, if you’re going to leave her, how you will do this in the least painful way for her.
What ... (read in full...)
I was my crush's first kiss but he says he doesn't even fancy me!
Q. First kisses are a big deal for everyone, right? I'm just wondering, my crush kissed me but did not fancy me, and I was his first kiss? Surely you wouldn't just kiss a random person you have no feelings for as your first kiss?...
A. 6 November 2012: Everybody’s different. For some people a kiss isn’t that big a deal. For others it’s a big moment. Unfortunately, he obviously had his own reasons for kissing you if he doesn’t fancy you. Perhaps he wanted to experience kissing, perhaps he was ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is being sarcastic to control me!
Q. My boyfriend is on the whole very loving and caring. He cooks lovely meals, always tells me I'm gorgeous etc etc and says I'm the love of his life BUT...he's sometimes sarcastic and I HATE it. He thinks he's being funny but it always seems like he's ...
A. 1 November 2012: IF everything else is good in the relationship, it’s probably just his sense of humour. It’s hard to see how the kinds of comments you give as examples could really be effective at controlling some-one. People who are controlling tend to be far more ... (read in full...)
My grandfather is very ill, b/f wants to go out drinking for his birthday and I'm in a funk! HELP!
Q. Need advice on how to shake this mood off I've had a for a few days now, it's really taking a toll on my relationship. So I got told that my Grandad has only a couple of days left. But my boyfriend birthday is soon and is going out to drink and...
A. 1 November 2012: It’s not disrespectful to go out even with your grandfather dying. Cruel though it sounds life does go on. Whether you go out or not doesn’t mean that you love him any more or less. Having said that it’s quite understandable that you might not feel ... (read in full...)
Why suddenly can my husband not keep an erection?
Q. My husband has recently done the unthinkable in the bedroom, and I don't know why. The reason I say "Unthinkable" casue to me, its out of character for him. We are two very sexual people and enjoy eachother. I seem to think that its myself, however, ...
A. 23 October 2012: If this is a recent change and he’s not had erection problems before then the first thing to do is go and visit a doctor as this could be the sign of a medical problem. Diabetes is one condition where sufferers can have erection problems, but there ... (read in full...)
I am confused by his actions. Can a man concurrently and happily live with his wife, make love to his wife, and care about his children while occasionally having sexual affairs with men?
Q. My husband of 16 years of marriage has admitted to a gay affair and numerous indiscretions with men for the last 6 years. I was devastated and even though 8 weeks have passed I feel a little bit stronger. I have been receiving counselling to come ...
A. 13 October 2012: The fact that he is bisexual doesn’t mean that he has to have sex with men. Being bisexual means that he is attracted to both men and women, not that he is incapable of monogamy. Think about it: would you put up with him having sex with other women? ... (read in full...)
Platonic friendship with Ex, is it even possible?
Q. Hi everyone. So i was wondering if anyone has been in or knows of someone who has been in my situation for some advice. My ex and i have 2 wonderful sons, we drifted apart after 9 years together, we were childhood sweethearts and were together fr...
A. 7 October 2012: It’s great that you’ve been able to maintain such a good relationship with your ex, it is certainly possible for exes to remain good friends and have a strong platonic relationship. Indeed it would be wonderful if more parents could try and achieve ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be with cheating b/f let alone have sex with him!
Q. My bf has stepped out on me, more than once, and engaged in sexual activity with these women. I’ve attempted to leave the relationship, but he refuses to let me go, telling me that I am the one he really loves and wants to be with and wants a ...
A. 7 October 2012: Tell him it’s finished and that you won’t compromise on that. Tell him that it’s best for everyone if you both move on, as there is no future for your relationship. If he continues trying to make contact with you, just ignore him completely and if ... (read in full...)
How long does it take to find the right person?
Q. Hi, I've been single for the past month, recently broke up with my cheating boyfriend. I get lonely from time to time, wanting to feel loved again, you know, all those cuddles, kisses, hugs, etc. I miss all that and sometimes I'm very grateful th...
A. 7 October 2012: You are better off without a cheat. The truth is that there’s no answer to your question, some people find the right person first time around whilst others wait years. Think about it: you’re only talking about 1 special person out of a huge crowd, ... (read in full...)
I am disgusted with my Bf. He is a hypocrite. He's warned me against drugs, yet he does them. Do I have a right to be angry?
Q. I called my boyfriend today and he was high - im so disgusted he was even doing it in the first place, but it makes it worse because I know If I were to do that he would lose it. He's made it clear to me he never wants me to do it!! Do I have a rig...
A. 7 October 2012: He’s warning you of the dangers of taking drugs. Sometimes the best warnings come from people who tell you not to make the same mistakes that they have. Perhaps your boyfriend is unhappy about his drug use but may be an addict and in need of ... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex - how safe is it?
Q. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now. During this time I've been paying close attention to my monthly cycle and we avoided having sex during the danger-zone (even with protection, I didn't want to risk it). I feel now that I know ...
A. 5 October 2012: Unprotected sex is only safe if you have it with one regular partner who you know is free from sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and if you are prepared for the fact that you might become pregnant. Using contraception is the only reliable way ... (read in full...)
My younger brother seems to be cyber stalking girls, what do I do?
Q. Hello i dont know what to do with this. i was on my phone yesterday and my brother had used it earlier and gone on his facebook when i got it back it was still logged in and i know that he can be very immature with his friends so i looked at his ...
A. 3 October 2012: He’s only 12. He’s a young kid full of hormones trying to figure out the opposite sex and how to deal with them. It’s doubtful that this is anything sinister. If you are at all concerned then you should speak to your parents, but first I’d suggest ... (read in full...)
He's my ex and now he's married. So is he just looking for a booty call with me? Based on his actions?
Q. My ex dumped me a few years back. We were together a long time. It got really bad at the end. He ended up getting a restraining order against me because i would follow him, (not proud of that). Anyway, we bumped into each other last year. It was n...
A. 3 October 2012: Maybe he does just want to use you, or perhaps his marriage is in trouble and he wants some-one to talk to. Without actually calling him and hearing directly from him what he wants, you’re not going to know, but you’re better off not getting ... (read in full...)
I'm starting a new job and I have no confidence, what do I do?
Q. I will soon be starting a new job that requires working with people all day. The only problem is I have zero self esteem and zero confidence. I don't like to join in conversations as I'm terrified i'll say something stupid and embarrass myself. I ...
A. 3 October 2012: Your employer obviously saw a good communicator in you otherwise they wouldn’t have offered you the job. In this tough economic climate, people aren’t prepared to give some-one a chance if they don’t make the grade at interview, so be assured that ... (read in full...)
20 girls and not one accepted his offer of a date
Q. A sociable guy of age 23-24 for 3-6 months approached upto 20 girls fo date and not even one accep him! What might be the reasons and what is the posible solution? The guy is tall, handsome, sociable and humble. Ur a advice will be of help tan...
A. 3 October 2012: Did all these girls know that he was also approaching other women as well? If so, it doesn’t exactly make a girl feel special to know she’s one of 20, you know! Assuming each girl doesn’t know that he’s asked another girl, or a lot of time passed ... (read in full...)
My g/f has been away for 6 days and I sexted another girl. Do I tell my g/f?
Q. Hi guys, This website is really great and I hope i can get some decent advice from you :) So first off I am going to admit I am a douche regarding what I did, and I feel terrible. My current gf who I have been seeing for five months now is...
A. 30 September 2012: I did read it all. Believe me some people post questions that are much longer than yours and we read them in full. To answer your question, does your girlfriend know the girl you sexted or is it likely that she would find out? If so, it’s better she ... (read in full...)
Is he like this around me because he might feel something for me, or because he's not interested in the least?
Q. I used to have a crush on one of my brothers friends, J. At one point he showed signs of liking me (I caught him looking at me all the time, he'd be talking to a group of people but looking at me, jump on me to wake me up, ask my parents about me, ...
A. 23 September 2012: If he wasn’t interested in you, this behaviour would make him rude. You’re not dating so there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be friendly if he didn’t have an interest of a romantic nature in you. It sounds like he may have a bit of a crush on you. ... (read in full...)
Am I causing her trauma? I am a disabled man. How does a Prostitute feel when she has paid sex with a disabled man?
Q. I am a disabled person and I started visiting prostitute for paid sex. I am very nice to her and I always give her some extra money. She is also very kind to me, she helps me undress my self and later putting clothes back. She alway seems to be gl...
A. 22 September 2012: If this woman didn’t want to have sex with you, she had the choice to say no. A prostitute may have sex for money, but she still has the choice as to whether or not she has sex with a client or not. The danger, of course, is that some clients are ... (read in full...)
What should I do? My Boyfriend is SO Jealous. Made a scene at my work. Calls me a slag almost daily
Q. I feel really bad about what I did to my boyfriend. We have been arguing so much throughout our entire relationship, he always thinks I'm cheating. He calls me a slag almost daily when he has no reason to think it. He came to my work shouting at ...
A. 22 September 2012: Forget about the wedding, the main issue here is why you’re still with him. It’s all well and good to talk about how perfect he would be if he wasn’t jealous and paranoid, but he is all of those things. It achieves nothing when you start trying to ... (read in full...)
Why did my married lover cut things off and say I wasn't part of his life?
Q. Am a married woman having an affair with a married man, we both decided not to upset our respective personal lives because of our affair. From the begining controlled everything in our relationship ( laid down the rules like no phone,text,contact ...
A. 21 September 2012: What should you do now? Forget about him. You weren’t ever a part of his life, it was an affair and he ditched you when he’d had enough. When you got annoyed by him flirting with another girl, he realised that you were starting to develop feelings ... (read in full...)
How can I reignite my boyfriend's passion for me?
Q. i need a guy to answer this... what can i do to make him obsessed with me again? i use to be the love of his life now he hardly even makes an effort. i need him to call me every night like he use to and to hang out with me like he use to. he...
A. 18 September 2012: So your complaint is about lack of effort, and you ask how you can do exactly the same thing as you accuse him of doing, and you think that’s going to solve anything? Ridiculous! Why is your relationship less intense than it used to be? Because ... (read in full...)
Is this the way? I want to make him jealous. In retaliation for how he has treated me.
Q. i want to make my ex jealous. do you have any ideas on how to do this? He has always told me that i need him and we are meant to be together, but I am done. I think he wants me back, then dump me. Every two months he comes crawling back to me. I w...
A. 18 September 2012: How ridiculous! Stop being so childish. You haven’t actually said what’s wrong with the way he treats you, but whatever he’s done the sensible thing to do is either stay or go. There is absolutely no point in pointless retaliation, plus if he still ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this girl friend what her ex boyfriend has already done? And that he's getting marriage, but not to her?
Q. SOOOOO my boyfriends(C) brother(D) WAS my friends(B - female) boyfriend. they broke up like 2-3 months ago. 2 weeks ago I found out that D was with another female and she moved into the HIS MOMS house with D and his siblings, mom and dad. They are ...
A. 16 September 2012: If your friend (B, I think) has broken up with this guy and has been split up from him for months, what’s the point in telling? If they are history as a couple, why make things more complicated for you, your boyfriend and the family? If she’s hoping ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex he needs to pay attention to his daughter before he loses her or keep my nose out of it?
Q. Hi all i wanted to ask what you thought of this situation with my ex and possibly what i could/should do about it. Its complicated, We split up when i was 3 months pregnant due to his cheating. Within a week and a half he found someone else and...
A. 15 September 2012: The problem you’d have if you tried to intervene is that he’d just see this as the bitter ex trying to make life difficult and shut his ears to what you had to say. That would potentially worsen the situation between him and his daughter. It isn’t ... (read in full...)
I worry about my employment history impacting on my relationship
Q. Hello, asking for opinions please - I am forty three and have started a fantastic relationship with someone that I am really falling for and who seems to feel the same. A few things are holding me back though due to very bad relationship ...
A. 15 September 2012: The world of academia and research is a tricky world in which to operate, there’s a lot of insecurity involved in it because of its nature and the fact that it does, as you said, rely quite a bit on networks and contacts. It takes a long time and is ... (read in full...)
Husband is obsessed with his penis size. How can I help him to get over his obsession? I think he's perfect.
Q. My husband is obsessed with his penis. He thinks it's small, because he heard how big a man I slept with was. How can I tell him to knock it off, and that he is perfect for me? I do but he thinks I'm just trying to make him feel good. He doesn't...
A. 15 September 2012: That’s quite extreme. All you can do is point out to him that it’s not the other guy you chose, it’s your husband, and tell him how satisfying sex with him is. Explain to him that skill, not size, is what matters and that what you want isn’t for him ... (read in full...)
My husband's children and grandchildren make me so unwelcome. What is the best way to handle this?
Q. What do you do when for seven years your husbands adult kids will not accept you? The x is nuts and my husband and I met when he had been divorced 4 years. My now husband's kids had been so mean to my daughter (26) till finally she will never h...
A. 15 September 2012: How ridiculous that his supposedly adult children can’t accept that their father has a right to live his own life and behave so utterly disrespectfully to the person with whom he chooses to share that life. He’s in a tricky position here because, if ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with my FWB
Q. Hi everyone I know there is a lot of questions asked about this but I really need some advice my friends with benefits if you could call it that have been sleeping together for nearly 3 years now last week I asked him if he had been sleeping with ...
A. 15 September 2012: You agreed only to sleep with each other yet this is a friends with benefits arrangement? Well, my question is, which is it? FWB is a no-strings sex arrangement, that means he can sleep with whoever he wants as can you. You clearly want it to be ... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship so why is my FWB acting this way?
Q. Hey everyone, I have been friends with benefits with this guy for like 2 and half years now!!well here's the thing we met at a bar,hooked up and I thought I would be a one night stand BUT no we ended up doing it over and over again! Its been 2 yea...
A. 9 September 2012: Clearly he is wanting to form some kind of connection with you on an emotional level, whether that’s a friendship, or he’s falling for you and wants a relationship. Either way, if all you want is sex, and he wants some kind of relationship with you, ... (read in full...)
Am I justified in feeling very upset at his refusal to apply the topical medical the Dr ordered to stop me getting more Urinary Tract infections?
Q. I recently got a urinary tract infection (UTI) and was in terrible discomfort and pain for several days. I was treated with a dose of anti-biotics and was told that my partner would also have to apply a topical medicine on his penis so that there ...
A. 9 September 2012: Yes you are completely justified to feel upset about this. It is the opinion of the doctor that this cream should be used to reduce your chances of re-infection. Even if he disagrees with the expert, it wouldn’t hurt to give the cream a try. It’s ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was recently diagnosed with leukemia. Does anyone have any advice on how to be there for a cancer patient?
Q. My girlfriend was recently diagnosed with leukemia. We have been together for a year. I love her a lot and want to stay with her despite tough times ahead. Does anyone have any advice on how to be there for a cancer patient? I want her to feel...
A. 9 September 2012: Everyone deals with a cancer diagnosis differently but the good thing is that your girlfriend seems to be communicating what she needs from you very well. Don’t feel guilty that life has to go on: of course you’ve still got to work, and focus on ... (read in full...)
Why do people find me odd?
Q. Hy. I feel different right now as to what s wrong with me? Many people(especially my relatives) find my behaviour/personality odd. Really. .i dont know why they think im a bit strange. Im a nice person, caring, dont take any illegal substances, ...
A. 8 September 2012: In short, nothing is wrong with you. There is clearly some breakdown in your relationship with your mother, this is going to be difficult to resolve if you can’t talk to her and explain how her actions make you feel. Could you perhaps get one of ... (read in full...)
Every girl I become involved with rejects me
Q. Every girl I get involved always says the same stuff and rejects me or dumps me They say that they're a screw up, that they'll hurt me, that they don't deserve me or that we have really good chemistry or whatever that I don't want to ruin by doing...
A. 8 September 2012: First of all, don’t try and change to what you think girls would like. The reality is that a pretence is hard to keep up, plus there is no one rule for all girls: women, like men, are all different. Besides that, there is nothing wrong with you. All ... (read in full...)
Is she telling the truth about miscarrying?
Q. A girl i was seeing told me she was pregnant with my child and after stating her reasons she decided to terminate it as she said he wasnt mature enough or financially ready to bring up a child and also since alot of stuff had gone on between us she ...
A. 5 September 2012: I can’t confirm whether private abortion clinics do issue receipts or not but I don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t. And where would she then get a faked one from? Furthermore if she knew you wanted to keep the baby what possible reason would ... (read in full...)
| *o nonsense Aidan's friends
These are mutual friends, so *o nonsense Aidan has
added them and they have added *o nonsense Aidan!
|
