A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I called my boyfriend today and he was high - im so disgusted he was even doing it in the first place, but it makes it worse because I know If I were to do that he would lose it.He's made it clear to me he never wants me to do it!!Do I have a right to be angry?
View related questions:
drugs Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 October 2012):
 I think YouWish put it perfectly.
The guy knows from EXPERIENCE that drugs are bad but alluring, so he tells YOU to NEVER try them mainly so you won't end up like him.
Maybe this was the wake up call you needed. This is NOT about you being "allowed" pr not to do drug, but more about IS he a guy you really want to be in a relationship with?
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (7 October 2012):
He’s warning you of the dangers of taking drugs. Sometimes the best warnings come from people who tell you not to make the same mistakes that they have. Perhaps your boyfriend is unhappy about his drug use but may be an addict and in need of professional help to get clean. It’s quite understandable that you’re angry and you’ve every right to feel unhappy and let down, but try to talk to him about your feelings and allow him to explain himself to you. It’s important that you give him a chance to explain his drug use and to ask for your support if he has the desire to get off the drugs. If he doesn’t, you might have to reconsider whether it’s worth staying in the relationship.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 October 2012):
 This one's really easy. He hates that he's an addict, and he cares about you enough to not want you to be caught in the addiction like he is. It's one of those "do as I say" moments, kinda like a smoker or an alcoholic mom begging and pleading with her children not to get caught like she did. I actually get why he's saying that.
Do you have a right to be angry? Sure. But there's something else you need to be that is more important than angry.
You need to be smart.
Is this guy, a habitual drug user, good for you in the long run? Consider your life in 5, 10, 15 years. Do you want a house? A good career? Kids? A father and a husband who are there for you, that you never have to worry about bailing out of jail, overdosing, spending up all of your money, or stealing from relatives for drugs?
This should be a wake up call to you. His being a hypocrite is the least of your worries now. You're not in high school anymore. Careers, credit ratings, saving for your future...building nest eggs...this is your future, and the guy you choose to walk with you side by side into this future will affect you positively or negatively for the rest of your life.
In this weird way, his feelings for you *are* genuine. But, is he willing to get off drugs himself? What are his plans for the future? Does he have a job? Is he in college? Is he together? Does he have his life in order? How are his spending habits?
Look with different eyes here. You can't call back the time you waste, and you can't call back the decisions that can affect the course of your life. Worrying about whether a drug addict is a hypocrite is missing the forest for the trees here.
You're 22-25. This is the time where you start looking at guys with new eyes.
...............................
|
