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*ust Gill agony aunt

*ust Gill

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I have gained experience and worked in a healthcare environment. I have a HNC in healthcare and i'm currenlty a student in counselling. I love listening to people and giving the best advice i can to help out!

I think my friend is making a mistake -- would it be better just to keep my mouth shut?

Q.   My best friend has started sleeping with a guy from work who is married. They live on a campus and he is her next door neighbour. She says they both know it is going nowhere but she is happy for it to continue. She had a terrible relationshi...

A.   28 September 2012: As a best friend you want her to have what she wants so you think the best route is to stand by her and support her decision. But you recognise the situation isn't the best place for your friend to be in, 'the married man next door', majority agrees ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend of four years is becoming more racist by the day and its driving me mental.

Q.   My boyfriend of four years is becoming more racist by the day and its driving me mental. When I first met him he had virtually no interest in religion and if I had known then how much he would change I would never have gone out with him. Now we h...

A.   28 September 2012: I understand your frustration as i know myself speaking to people regarding religion. Its a difficult position your in however by what you are saying, your partner sounds closed minded. The best way i can think of to help you out is provide ... (read in full...)

She went to Vegas with her guy friends and came back shaven!

Q.   My gf is very pretty and curvy. she has an issue with her weight and therefore, she has a problem being naked in front of me. she dresses sexy and wears pushup bras to work, but around me its time to hide the girls. i tell how sexy she is all the ...

A.   12 August 2012: I find this behaviour odd in a relationship. I could go on about her weight issues and say that this could be one of those factors. But honestly i do think your gf had other motive's by what you have mentioned. The suspicions are there for a reason ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend looked at porn because I talked to ex, will he keep doing it?

Q.   Hello everyone. I need some advice. Yesterday, I came home and there was a light blinking on my boyfriend and I's antivirus thing. I thought it was no biggie, so I continued watching my show on Netflix. Finally, I got annoyed, and clicked on i...

A.   11 August 2012: I can understand you feel that way, is it because you feel its almost like he kind of, not quite cheated, slighty? Or is it because the ex comment he made?. What you need to realise is that if you think back to when you used to pleasure yourself... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants sexual play involving her butt and I can't do it

Q.   My girlfriend is great. I really love her not to mention her intelligence, sense of humor and...amazing looks. The other day we were had some shower sex that turned into regular sex -- recently she's been into 69, so that's what we did. To be ho...

A.   10 August 2012: You love her, so i assume she loves you. You need to talk to her about the things your comfortable doing and things your not. Talking about sex is awesome! you get to discover your partner in a different way, plus your mind kicks in and your desires ... (read in full...)

He says he doesn't want a girlfriend so why does he want to introduce me to his family?

Q.   Hi, I have this guy who tells me he does not want a girlfriend and that I should not expect for him to eventually be my boyfriend. I get this, and am trying to decide what I want. However, on the next part Id thia conversation he had with me, he ...

A.   10 August 2012: Well firstly for your own peace of mind ASK HIM! He possibly could have changed his mind once he got to know you a bit better. You mentioned your trying to figure out what you want. Why dont you concentriate on that. No point spending time in ... (read in full...)

I don't understand why my ex is ignoring me?

Q.   why is my ex ignoring me? :( me and my ex broke up about 2 and a half months ago, at the time it was because we didn't have the time to see each other enough and had a massive argument about it, but i've since found out he was/ is scared of commitme...

A.   10 August 2012: Firstly dont beat yourself up with all the thoughts in your head. You seem quite sad by this whole situation your in. From what you have described, in a nut like him and he likes you, he has commitment issues and you's broke up. He still ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my uncle, what do I do?

Q.   Hi everyone i need some advice, ok first of all i have been married for 12 years to a dead beat, ass hole, that only cares bout himself.. ok now heres the thing, I have been in love with a man since i was 17 years old. We lost contact for 17 years ...

A.   9 August 2012: I'm so sorry to say i dont agree with that. When two related people meet as adults, and become sexually attracted, it is known as genetic sexual attraction. If a sexual relationship is entered, it is known as incest, and may be distressing to both... (read in full...)

Why hasn't my boyfriend divorced his ex wife yet?

Q.   I'm in a fairly new relationship of about four months with a wonderful guy, and it's probably the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. We hardly have cause to fight, we don't live in each others' pockets or see too little of each other and we ...

A.   7 August 2012: I understand that to you he feels like he's not trying to ride her from his life completely. Maybe he is just trying to get his life sorted out and re-adjusting to a new relationship with yourself. You do have the right to ask him as you are his new ... (read in full...)

Would it be a bad thing to call back and ask her out for coffee?

Q.   So, stayed for a few days in a hotel a couple of days ago and guess I took a bit of a liking to one of the girls on reception. Would it be a bad thing to call back and ask her out for coffee? I guess I just don't want to do so by calling her at w...

A.   7 August 2012: Go for you stated perfectly nothing ventured nothing gained. Maybe sweeten the deal by sending her flower's with a note. Do you know her name? if so send flower to her work with a little envolop with your message inside. No girl can resist ... (read in full...)

Am I a rebound? Is my boyfriend just using me to make his pregnant ex jealous?

Q.   Well thank you for reading. Here it goes short version. I met a guy 3 days after his relationship ended. He has known her for 11 years, dated off and on. Now she is pregnant and broke up with him and we started dating three days after. He te...

A.   7 August 2012: he's using the Love word far to fast, you have only started dating and he said he love's you. He may have a different understanding of the word to you. It seems to me that there is childs play going on. He's telling his PREGNANT ex that your hotter. ... (read in full...)

If a girl tells a guy that she loves him and his reply is, "You, too," what does it mean?

Q.   So, with this being a question regarding the male mind (the most confusing universe in existence), I'm really looking for opinions from some guys. However, if there are any girls who have performed miracles and managed to actually understand what ...

A.   7 August 2012: Depends on the lengh of time you have been with him hunni, If this was the first time you said it to him...baybe he was surprised and feels it's far to early for the L word. I would say men where actually very simple compaired to the female mind, ... (read in full...)

Should I be with him?

Q.   I know this is a lot to read but it would be unfair to leave any information out.My problem is that I don't know if I want to be with my boyfriend anymore. We've been together 3 years and been through so much together, we "exchanged" virg...

A.   7 August 2012: Firstly i like to think you know when someone is right for you, i see life is a road thats long and bump, a journey if you like. Is your bf the one who's right for that journey with you? It's worth asking yourself that. Possibly your doughting ... (read in full...)

Am I the one with the problem or does it sound like he's having second thoughts?

Q.   I wrote a while ago about my boyfriend working in calgary and saying hed be home to stay in august but I wasn't so sure... He's not.. He's supposed to be home in december now. We are engaged now. Planning on our wedding to be next august. But the ...

A.   7 August 2012: Your not the one with the problem, that feeling you have is there for a reason, it's your mind telling you there is something wrong. Are you getting vibes of your partner to suggest he's regreting the engagement? or has he said something to make you ... (read in full...)

I feel so bad that he has a girlfriend!

Q.   Hi everyone. Im bit confused and hope you all might help me. There is this guy working with me who is 6 years younger then me. His my best friend...i always share my problems with him. We always fight and tease each other. Today i came to know that ...

A.   7 August 2012: Age is just a number, Clearly you have strong feeling for him if this is the result. I dont need to stress the importance of eating to you, as i'm sure you are already aware of the damage it can cause. Talking is what you should do...with him. If ... (read in full...)

Abstinence from masturbation before first time sex?

Q.   I have visited an escort agency for first time sex and failed miserably to achieve an erection. I am 44 and have always masturbated with no problem and get erections. I have always used straight sex images and softcore porn for inspiration and ...

A.   7 August 2012: by the sounds of things you got nervouse, it was your first time going to an escort agency. You can try not masturbating and see if that helps at all. Use your imagination, this is the most powerful organ in your body and controls pretty much ... (read in full...)

I'm worried one argument has changed his mind about me.

Q.   Hello, I am in a very confused state because of a man I am currently dating. We live in different cities. He is 40 (I am 30) and has recently divorced (seperated for 3 years). The relationship has been great and we are obviously crazy about each...

A.   7 August 2012: How did you's two getting chatting in the first placce? start it back up again. You understand his situation, what it sounds like to me is that he had so much to juggle and he got a bit pissed off with what was going on. I completely understand your ... (read in full...)

When he is not being distant he is being mean!

Q.   well i been with my boyfriend for 6 years,for some reason he has been really distance and really mean about everything we never spend time together anymore i dont understand whats going on with him i just want it to me like used to be he treats me ...

A.   7 August 2012: In this situation you should ask him. Find out why he's being like that with you. Or spice things up between you and him, send saucy text message's, remind him why you and him are in this relationship. You have been together for some time now, you ... (read in full...)

I found the perfect wedding dress, but it is white!

Q.   Hello! I am getting married next spring. Excitment! The other day I went window shopping and I've seen the prettiest little (and very cheap) dress ever. But... it's white! I'm in my early 30s and I'm not a virgin anymore and all the people at my we...

A.   7 August 2012: White represents peace and happiness. You've found thee perfect dress for the perfect day of your life, and it symbolises purity in quality of love and Freedom from sin or guilt. It doesnt just mean virginity, the meaning of wedding values change ... (read in full...)

He verbally abuses me, we had a fist fight, I don't trust him but I love him!

Q.   Hello Agonies. Let me get straight to it..I seem to can't let go and move on from my bf, no matter what he ever did or said to me, whom has cheated on me 5x's, he's very disrespectful, he wants to act like a stray dog and do what he wants to do. ...

A.   7 August 2012: You need to figure out hunni what you really want. No person deserves to be treated that way, so why you stopping yourself? Are you scare of moving on and not finding someone else? If thats the case you will! someone better will come along next ... (read in full...)

Was he being rude or protective? opinions please

Q.   Hey guys. I went on a night out, and I have a male best friend who is four years older than I am. Now before he knew I was planning to have a night out, he claimed to not be going out this weekend. Yet somehow he managed to be in ever single plac...

A.   7 August 2012: You have been friends with him for several years, unless something in the past has happened with you and him then i would imagine it was a protective response. But there was that question he asked 'was he awful to you?' thats strange to text a a ... (read in full...)

My friend is planning the same trip with me and someone else too? How do I talk to her about it?

Q.   Hi there, thanks in advance for offering me some assistance: ) A friend and i were planning a trip overseas and the other day i asked him if we were still on board with it. They said of course we were. However, they later made a joke that they'd...

A.   6 August 2012: Hi, just explain to your firend that your confussed. They will ask why and you can tell them that you were under the impression that it was You and them going on the trip. You didnt realise that they had changed their mind and was now taking susan. ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to tell her that I like her?

Q.   About six months ago i met a girl in a club. We clicked instantly and had a great time together. Unfortunately she had a boyfriend, so i didnt make a move on her (that was the only thing holding me back). We still spoke to each other on and off ...

A.   6 August 2012: You need a little more believe in yourself. You need to ask yourself- can i still be her friend if she says no? If the answer to this is yes then i would recommend you take her aside somewhere quiet. give her your pressent at this point, make it ... (read in full...)

Is he playing games with me? Likes me? Or just a guy who tells lies?

Q.   There is this guy, lets say his name is john. This started the first day I moved to town he when I met him. He asked me a whole bunch of questions and told me fake stories to make him self seem really cool. He flirts with almost every girl i...

A.   6 August 2012: You need to find out what your true feeling are for John. Reading your statement you have caught him out on lies, but have you said to him about these lies? communication is the key in ALL relationships, you really need to ask him. Dont have a bad ... (read in full...)

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