A
male
age
30-35,
*ntPain
writes:Every girl I get involved always says the same stuff and rejects me or dumps meThey say that they're a screw up, that they'll hurt me, that they don't deserve me or that we have really good chemistry or whatever that I don't want to ruin by doing more than we are.Some people may see it as "they're thinking of you" but the honest truth is leaves me feeling unwanted and unlovable despite being a genuine guy that every girl I know is always saying what a good bf I'd make etc.So how do I stop this? What am I doing wrong? Because this must have happening now on half a dozen girls if not more in a row.If its not a girl im seeing or dating, its a girl that im interested in that friend zones me, but then complains about their next bf and how they wish they were more like me.....it absolutely sucks to be honest. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (8 September 2012):
First of all, don’t try and change to what you think girls would like. The reality is that a pretence is hard to keep up, plus there is no one rule for all girls: women, like men, are all different. Besides that, there is nothing wrong with you. All of these girls are telling you that. The problem may be this: what are your friendships based on? I can’t help wondering if your friendships with females are based on the idea of you as the rock and the good guy they can turn to. You’re attracting complicated people who are seeing you as the guy to lean on. They look at you as the ideal against which to compare their ‘Bad boys.’ Whilst it’s a good thing to be a supportive friend, you need to make sure that you also have some friendships that are based on something other than you as the rock: for example friendships formed out of a common interest, or just enjoyment of each other’s company. It’s all about keeping your social circle as big as possible and making sure that there is a certain degree of equality in your friendships. Having said all of that, many people find themselves in your position so do not worry yourself about this. Everyone is looking for one special some-one out of a crowd, that’s bound to take time.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 September 2012):
 Maybe they friendzone you because while you are being friendly and proper, other guys asked them out already. You don't become involved with any girl until you go for the kill and makes sure she is yours, then show your boyfriend qualities only when you feel she is worthy of it.
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