A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now. During this time I've been paying close attention to my monthly cycle and we avoided having sex during the danger-zone (even with protection, I didn't want to risk it). I feel now that I know my body well enough to know when ovulation is, I have a pretty regular cycle of 29 days and I always count a few days more around ovulation too be absolutely sure.We always used condoms, until one time just before my period. I was sure I had to be safe and we decided to have unprotected sex. It was an amazing experience, so much better than with condoms. It was just so much easier and so much more intense.Now my question is: is this safe? Or I guess I should say "safe enough"?(seeing as the condom isn't 100% safe, either). I've heard it's possible to get pregnant during your menstruation. The only time we'd have unprotected sex would be the week before my period.I've always heard from people in real life that this is quite reliable and the chances to then become pregnant are very small. But I've been looking online a bit now and it's freaking me out slightly. I know it's not 100% safe, but online people seem to be saying "use contraception or you WILL get pregnant"
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condom, period, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2012): That's true that nature play tricks on you sometimes, but hardly in your young age. It happens mostly to older women who Re over 35 and hormones start acting up.Especially if you have regular cycle it's pretty much predictable.I use it with my husband for over 20 years and it never failed us. My husband hates condoms, I also can't be on a pill for medical reasons, we used calendar our whole life together, and it worked so far.Things happen of course, but to deny the monthly calendar is just silly. So things happen with condoms, they break, thats how I actually got pregnant with my daughter.Women get pregnant while on a pill, it's a well known fact also.Of course the best way not to get pregnant is not to have sex, but that's not an option for most of us. Calendar is very reliable if you have regular period, ask any doctor. Just be sure you calculate correctly. And as for STDs, if you are in monogamous relationship there is no worry about STD. Married or not, if you are exclusive with your partner dont worry about STDs. Its the same thing as to' say to a married couple to use condoms. Who is going to use condoms in a healthy marriage. You can live your life being constantly afraid or live it smartly making right choices. Being exclusive and using monthly calendar is the right choice. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2012): If you don't wanna use condoms, try diaphrams or other versions of birth control.
You ovulate after your period. And sperm can live up to 5 days. Chances of getting pregnant are there.
Regardless, this isn't safe, and until you go on the pill it should stop.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSTDs aren't a problem. And the pill isn't an option for us for various reasons.
Thank you for your responses and concern, though, I'll talk to my doctor about protection methods soon.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (6 October 2012):
Yes, we used this form of birth control and have 5 unplanned children. I guess without birth control we might have had nearly 20 by now so your method must work a bit! I would expect you are pregnant within about 2 years unless you are very careful with your dates and arithmetic. And nature has a wonderful way of messing with your arithmetic when you are hot and heavy with each other!!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 October 2012):
 Btw, the main reason condoms aren't 100% safe is because people tend to use them the wrong way. Some don't hold on to it when they pull out, some put it on wrong, some scratch the condom with their nails etc. Many open the condom packet with their teeth you know...
Birth control pills are "safer" in that respect because there's not many way to use it wrong, except forgetting to take the pill. The pill might also be less effective when you're on certain medication, but if so it'll stand on the information of each particular medication (antibiotics usually).
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 October 2012):
I think it's like playing Russian roulette. I think the one people who should be having unprotected sex are those who are okay with an unplanned pregnancy. For example, if you are in a steady relationship/are married, and want children, but aren't actively trying for one, then unprotected sex and paying attention to your cycle could be for you. But only if you can risk a pregnancy and be okay with an unplanned pregnancy.
If you are going to have an abortion if you get "accidentally" pregnant, then I suggest you are responsible and use protection. There's no "accidental" pregnancy when you're not using protection...
The chances of getting pregnant might be small, maybe as low as 1%, but if you get pregnant you're still 100% pregnant. Not just 1% pregnant. Is that really something you want to take your chances on when there are soooo many cheap and effective contraceptives out there?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (5 October 2012):
Unprotected sex is only safe if you have it with one regular partner who you know is free from sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and if you are prepared for the fact that you might become pregnant. Using contraception is the only reliable way to avoid becoming pregnant: it’s true that no method is 100% fool-proof, but condoms prevent pregnancy 99% of the time, which is a far greater percentage than trying to work on your cycle. If you do not want to get pregnant you should either avoid sex or use contraception, and if you’re not sure about the risk of contracting an STI, you should choose condoms as your contraceptive method. IF, however, you prefer sex without a condom there are other contraceptive methods: do your research and have a think about what might be best for you.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): Not safe at all. Discuss safer methods of birth control with your doctor.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (5 October 2012):
 You can get pregnant in that way so you should always use protection.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 October 2012):
 I think it's (pardon for being blunt)STUPID to NOT use protection if you do NOT want to become pregnant.
It's not like it's that hard to get condoms and/or get on the pill.
You body is not a machine so therefor there are always a chance that your ovulation isn't 100% dependable.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (5 October 2012):
 Your method of guessing is not very safe. While you can kind of track your ovulation by the fact that you have a lot more discharge for two days, it's not 100% accurate.
The safer way is with charting, though that's still not very good. However, there is a computer called LadyComp where you take your temperature every morning and it "learns" your cycle and tells you when safe says are. According to their website it's very accurate so long as you follow the directions properly.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 October 2012):
 There are oodles of Catholic couples who practice this form of pregnancy-prevention. Many of them have become what we call "parents".....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): I think you should know by now that having unprotected sex is rarely safe. It isn't just the scare of getting pregnant, there are so many different STDs out there. And unless and until you and your boyfriend get tested, you shouldn't be having unprotected sex. And besides you've said it yourself you don't want to risk it. It doesn't matter that the experience is so much better, sometimes you have to sacrifice that.
But of course, it is your choice. Just be, you and your bf, ready if there are CONSEQUENCES. If you aren't planning to get pregnant, go on the pill, and even that isn't always safe. Condoms may not be 100%, but they're the better choice. You don't know what diseases you could catch, and sometimes from harmless sources.
Unprotected sex may be better, but just be ready if things don't turn out the way you expected. life has a way of teaching us lessons the hard way when we start getting too cocky. And you seem to believe that you've found the perfect solution.
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