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*ennessy1989 agony aunt

*ennessy1989

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Im Hennessy1989, I'm 23 and from England, I Hope my advice helps, some people won't like my comments because they are straight to the point, no messing around, my opinions are honest, I've been in a relationship now for 3 years with ups and downs, so have a bit of life experience, open to questions

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Should I have an affair with my married colleague?

Q.   I recently ended up kissing a women I work with after a night out. It shouldn't be a problem, only she is married. We have always had great chemistry and she has made no secret of her liking me--I guess you could say she is a cougar or whatever. She ...

A.   16 October 2013: Have sex with her, hell, life is too short, have a bit of fun ... (read in full...)

My wife doesn't want to tell me that I am not her best lover. Why does she lie?

Q.   I met my wife when she was 40 (now she is 46). She told me that, among almost 30 previous sex partners, I am her best lover. I can not believe her. My penis is only 5 inches and normal thickness. I am not bad in bed, but I know I am not the best. ...

A.   10 August 2013: What is your problem? She married you, she loves you and is happy with you. This is all down to you feeling insecure about your size. That's your problem, not your wife's, you will push her away eventually. If my girlfriend kept asking me if she was ... (read in full...)

I want to make it clear that there will be no sex on the first date

Q.   Basically, I am in a bit of a situation with this guy. I met him in a student bar and we hit it off. We had a bit to drink and ended up making out throughout the night. After this, we ended up exchanging numbers. He text me last week asking to meet ...

A.   29 June 2013: Just be straight with him, tell him your not the kind of girl to have sex on a first date, then see how he reacts, if he was just after some sex then he'll probably back off, if he still wants to meet you then great, he might still try though ... (read in full...)

Music is my life, but I hate being in a band with these guys

Q.   Dear aunts, This isn't a romantic relationship question, but I hope you can help me. I'm really torn up and upset about this. well, it's that I play the guitar in a band. Music has been my absolute life for a long time and I always LONGED to...

A.   22 June 2013: Quit the band, all bands famous or not have conflict. It's a natural result of creative characters And egos clashing. This group of people are not a good match for you, quit and go your own way... (read in full...)

My gf is never interested in sex and I am starting to miss my ex. How should I deal with this?

Q.   My girlfriend seems to never be interested in sex. We've been together for eight months now and only had sex TWICE, two months ago. It's getting to the point where I can't handle the frustration anymore. I take her out, I buy her gifts, flowers, ...

A.   27 May 2013: You are being used. It's wrong that you cheated but to be fair I'm not surprised. I'd end your relationship because your putting everything into it and getting nothing in return. ... (read in full...)

Guys: what's your opinion on strap-ons?

Q.   During an alcohol-fueled conversation with a (straight) male friend about a month ago, he let it slip that his ex-girlfriend had sex with him using a strap-on...and he loved it. My boyfriend has requested that I come up with some new things to do in ...

A.   21 May 2013: Personally the thought would scare the hell out of me lol, but if your man seems to like that kind of stuff then maybe a strap on is a good idea ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend keeps breaking up and then saying she regrets it. What am I supposed to do?

Q.   i'm having a bit of a hard time lately. i've been with my girlfriend about a year now and sometimes our ups and downs really effect me. since this is anonymous, i don't feel too bad disclosing this information, seeing as how it's very pertinent. ...

A.   19 May 2013: Sometimes you've got to say enough is enough. She does it because she knows she can, she enjoys the drama and control she has over you. The only time this will ever change is when you turn the tables, trust me on this one. Dump her and stick to it, ... (read in full...)

Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?

Q.   I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...

A.   18 May 2013: It is very achievable, running on the streets costs nothing, also running is the best form of exercise for fat burning. Cut out unhealthy snacks. Sit ups will help tone your stomach. Start off with light jogging, it will be tough at first but you ... (read in full...)

Guys 20 and up--what's your take on this guys action and what should I do next?

Q.   So we are both in our mid-20s and studying the same course at university. We're not friends, but we're friendly- have done a few group assignments together and sometimes talk to each other before class. I honestly have no idea how he feels about me- ...

A.   17 May 2013: I think you played it well, he obviously likes you, go out for a drink as friends, if it leads to more great. If it doesn't your still friends ... (read in full...)

Do I have any right telling my boyfriend to stop talking with this girl that I feel uncomfortable with?

Q.   Do I have any right telling my boyfriend to stop talking with this girl that I feel uncomfortable with? This girl has only known my boyfriend for about a week and she has been talking very openly about how much she likes sex and been telling him...

A.   16 May 2013: Talk to him, and when you do ask him how he would feel if it was the other way round, a guy sending you pictures and talking about his sexual fantasies. That should open his eyes a bit, and from a guys point of view you definately have a right to be ... (read in full...)

Jealousy is eating away at me about my boyfriend's ex

Q.   My boyfriend and I are great together, he loves and appreciates me and vice versa and the sex is great. The only problem in our relationship is my jealousy! I often ask questions about one of exes of two and a half years ago. He is very honest about ...

A.   12 May 2013: It shouldn't do, but it's only natural to feel some sort of jealousy, this is one of them things when his honesty is a bad thing, he should of just lied and killed the topic forever. As for you I don't know why you would ask these questions, surely ... (read in full...)

Is it time to leave? She issued me with an ultimatum: The bachelor party or her

Q.   My girlfriend(who I live with) and I have been at odds everyday for the last week. My friend has a wedding coming this weekend, and their bachelor party on Friday night. So she has made an effort to fight with me everyday. But to cut to the chase...

A.   25 April 2013: She needs to grow up. Go to the party, if she wants to leave then let her, I'm guessin if you go she will threaten to leave, call her bluff or else your relationship will never change, she's a control freak... (read in full...)

I'm 20 and I've never had a girlfriend

Q.   I know that this is the really long, depressing kind of question which has been asked hundreds of times, but I'm feeling pretty crap and i'd really like some advice. I'm 20 years old and I have never had a girlfriend, i've been on one date with thr...

A.   27 March 2013: A prostitute might help conquer any nerves you have about sex, but I doubt it would help your confidence in talking to women in general ... (read in full...)

I'm 20 and I've never had a girlfriend

Q.   I know that this is the really long, depressing kind of question which has been asked hundreds of times, but I'm feeling pretty crap and i'd really like some advice. I'm 20 years old and I have never had a girlfriend, i've been on one date with thr...

A.   27 March 2013: I feel for you man, but really your putting too much pressure on yourself. You need to work on your confidence. You don't have to be handsome to attract women. A good sense of humour, which I think you have, can get you along way. You have to be ... (read in full...)

My Wife Talking about sex toys with a collegue!

Q.   Had a bit of a barney with my wife (of 5 months) last night. She said that she had a conversation with a male collegue about his business selling Sex Toys - I thought this was innapropriate and got the proverbial hump. Anway, thats not so much the ...

A.   20 March 2013: I think you are totally over reacting here, a conversation, is she not allowed to talk to people?? I'm not suprised she's been ignoring your childish sulk... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is terrible in bed - will he ever get better?

Q.   Hello! So, I am starting a serious relationship for the first time, and I want it to work. I am, however, very unsatisfied with my boyfriend's sexual performance, and I need some good help because I tried what I could and that didn't work. I will e...

A.   1 March 2013: If you love him and want things to work out then tell him how u feel in a subtle way, show him what you like... (read in full...)

Is it normal to have fantasies about being anally raped?

Q.   I'm just your normal, every day 17 year old girl. Sometimes I like to read erotic stories online. About two months ago, I stumbled upon this story where a teenage boy forced himself onto his sister, anally. I don't know why, but this turned me on ...

A.   1 March 2013: To anon, the girl is already having sex, so telling her not to try something because of her age is pretty pointless. I'd take the other advice. Keep this as a fantasy unless you can really trust your boyfriend and he is experienced enough to no if ... (read in full...)

I haven't given my b/f oral sex. Is that a bad thing?

Q.   The guy I am seeing is really great and patient because I have only ever had sex with one other guy so I am still a bit new to all of this. My best friend was so shocked because he has gone down on me and I haven't on him. She made it sound like a ...

A.   18 February 2013: There's nothing to be nervous about, there is no such thing as a bad blowjob ;)... (read in full...)

I was abusive to my ex boyfriend. Is it appropriate for me to send an apology now that he has a girlfriend?

Q.   Dear All, I'm ashamed to say that during my 10 year relationship with my ex boyfriend I was very abusive, I put him down and was even violent towards him and even tho we split nearly 3 years ago and both in new relationships I can't forgive my...

A.   14 February 2013: You were both wrong for each other, you have both moved on so I think it's better that you just leave it in the past ... (read in full...)

My college girlfriend just asked me if her friend could sleep in bed with her because all the beds were taken! I would never ask her such a thing!

Q.   So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now and things are going really really well. I didn't have any trust issues with her. But, I have been out of the state for a week and will be for a whole week more. She just asked me if ...

A.   3 February 2013: She shouldn't have even had to ask. Even if nothing would of happened her letting another guy into her bed is totally sending out the wrong messages. How would she feel If it was the other way round? I'd have a serious word with her if I were you, ... (read in full...)

I got drunk once and now my relatives think I get drunk all the time

Q.   Hey everyone, I'm 24 years old. As silly as this sounds my relatives(not immediate family) won't let me forget something I did! So my friends and I were partying at a club and they handed me one shot of tequila, here's the thing I have never consu...

A.   3 February 2013: I rarely drink, unfortunately I seem to save my drunkest moments for the biggest family events haha, luckily for me while my family take delight in reminding me of past drunk moments, it is all light hearted banter, don't let this stuff get to you, ... (read in full...)

I was called a bad name by a stranger and it ruined my whole day. How do I stop caring about this kind of event?

Q.   Hi guys, this may sound like a silly problem but it bothers me a lot, Basically while usually I'm a real tough cookie, sometimes small things people do or say bother me far more than they really should, I get really sad and insecure, For e...

A.   2 February 2013: I use to care about what others thought or said wen I was a bit younger. When I hit about 21 I realised that nothing a stranger said or thought could bother me. Really that person is nothing, I don't mean to sound harsh but if he got hit by a bus ... (read in full...)

How can I stop torturing myself thinking about the night my b/f had sex with another girl

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. A year into our relationship we had some bad problems, mainly that my boyfriend hated the fact that I was friends with my ex and he became convinced I was going to cheat on him with him. (I never did not ...

A.   31 January 2013: You weren't together at the time. Would he have done it if you where? No, he was drunk and angry and not thinking straight. Just try and see it as a physical act, there was no feelings involved, it was just his stupid way of trying to get over what ... (read in full...)

Ever since my boyfriend confided that he and his ex engaged in anal sex, I've had difficulty being intimate with him

Q.   I have been dating the most amazing man for four months. Everything was wonderful until two weeks ago when he confided that he and his ex engaged in anal sex. Since then, I've had difficulty being intimate with him. I think anal sex is disgustin...

A.   30 January 2013: Just another tip, guys will tell a girl anything to make themselves feel better or reassure them or to get them to shut the hell up. Aslong as your happy that's all that counts ... (read in full...)

I hate that my boyfriend said his best vacation was with his ex! Should I be mad?

Q.   Hi everyone, we talked with my bf the other day about spending some summer vacation together. We want to go to the sea, because we haven´t been by the sea for a long time. My BF told me he was by the sea few years ago and it was the best, most ama...

A.   30 January 2013: Grow up. What's the point being mad? What is it going to achieve? ... (read in full...)

Ever since my boyfriend confided that he and his ex engaged in anal sex, I've had difficulty being intimate with him

Q.   I have been dating the most amazing man for four months. Everything was wonderful until two weeks ago when he confided that he and his ex engaged in anal sex. Since then, I've had difficulty being intimate with him. I think anal sex is disgustin...

A.   28 January 2013: He did it with his ex, you obviously can't deal with that no matter what anybody says here. I personally think you are the one being immature here, he was not sticking in penis in poop. Let this guy go if you can't be more mature about it and accept ... (read in full...)

Can a man have sex and cum if he's not even enjoying it?

Q.   This is a question for the guys; is it possible for a guy to NOT want to have sex with somebody, but then go ahead and do so, and still cum, even if he's not enjoying it? My bf always says he's not into one nighters, but he told me that whilst ...

A.   27 January 2013: He is probably being vague with the details because it is his past and he doesn't want to talk about it, whether he enjoyed it or not or whether he did cum is not really any of your business... (read in full...)

I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?

Q.   I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...

A.   27 January 2013: You want a man you can completely control, you are a complete control freak. You may find a man that does most of these things, but it won't last. Just reading your question and your 'rules' would put 99% of men off ... (read in full...)

I have trust issues with my BF after he sexted his ex on Facebook

Q.   Hello all! i have a question about my partner. It's been a rocky road for us but he moved in in november 2012. A week after i discovered messages to his ex lovers, not one but a few, which angered and hurt me immensely. He reminisced about their se...

A.   27 January 2013: There's really no excuse for him telling these women he's single. He obviously misses flirting with other girls, but in a relationship you have to draw the line. In my opinion he crossed the line. I doubt he will change, whether he would ever ... (read in full...)

Does anyone else have to pay board to their parents?

Q.   Hi, just a quick question! I am 20 years old, and have just moved back home. My parents have asked me to contribute $100 a week, for rent/bills/food. I work full-time, making about $600 (aus) a week. I also have my phone bill to pay, as well as ...

A.   27 January 2013: Since I left school at 16 I've paid 50/60 pounds a week for about 4 years when I was earning an average of 200/250 pounds a week, now I'm older I pay a bit more. I think it sounds like you've got an average/ok deal, could be better but could be a ... (read in full...)

How importants are breasts to a man

Q.   Hi, I was wondering what the general male opinion on boobs is- how big is too big? is there a limit? are small boobs really that bad? how important are they to a mans sexual arousal? Thanks...

A.   26 January 2013: Everyone has their own preferences. Personally I'm not really bothered either way? As long as their not too big.... (read in full...)

Why does my husband watch one particular part of my body during sex?

Q.   Hi, I am really embarrassed but here it goes: sex with my husband is over the top. I mean, since I've been with him I finally understood what "to make love" means: he's caring and sentimental in the bedroom and outside the bedroom too. When he is ...

A.   24 January 2013: So what If he needs to watch that during sex? Why would that make him fake and shallow? It's what turns him on obviously, I don't no what your expecting people to say here... (read in full...)

Gf sending dirty texts to another man

Q.   Hi, I've been with my gf for nearly 3 years, it's had it's ups and downs but we've got through them, between us we have 4 children, she has 3 girls I have one boy. The two youngest girls dad left when the youngest was born, and hasn't been around ...

A.   23 January 2013: I have to agree with Kenny's answer, you need to confront her about the texts, see what she has to say and then decide your next move. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend had me charged for a crime when she was the one who has been abusive

Q.   My life is in such a mess! I was with my girlfriend for about two years. Anyway, after a few months I caught her cheating. But I took her back. Then I caught her cheating again and I took her back. She then started to raise her hands to me abou...

A.   23 January 2013: Take the advice of your solicitor, also if anyone has ever witnessed her attack you have them write statements and take them to your solicitor, I was in a similar situation once and was obviously panicking about being found guilty for something I ... (read in full...)

How do I get my partner to do more foreplay, and have sex more often?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles just a quick question. What do you do when you have a partner that wont do much or any foreplay. He will not do oral sex at all, not even once a year, he will kiss me before and during sex, I do have to intiate it most of the ...

A.   22 January 2013: You need to talk to him about this, ask him why he won't do these things, you must have asked him why, what were his reasons? ... (read in full...)

She went to give me oral sex and I lost my erection! Why?

Q.   Well my girlfriend was going to give me a blowjob. It was the first time she'd done it and it was the first time for me. Now this gonna sound creepy but for the whole 30 min walk back to my house, just by holding her hand I had an erection so it's ...

A.   22 January 2013: Honestly dude these sort of things happen to everyone at some point, laugh it off, don't put pressure on yourself, lay back relax and enjoy.... (read in full...)

Is there any way I can make sex more comfortable for my girlfriend? She thinks I'm too well endowed.

Q.   We have been dating for about 4 and a half years now and used to regularly have sex, sometimes 2 or 3 times in one day and she could handle it, granted she was 16 and I just turned 17 when this happened. We have since slowed down a lot, down to ...

A.   22 January 2013: Makes a change reading a question like this, normally guys are always moaning about being too small. The truth is that your doing all you can, you may have to go with anons answer even if its not as enjoyable for you. Also more than once a night and ... (read in full...)

I asked my ex to meet up and she totally ignored me. What does that mean?

Q.   Me and my ex girlfriend are back in touch in after 3 months. I asked jer to meet up and she completely ignored the question and changed the subject. What does this mean!?!...

A.   21 January 2013: It means she's not interested pure and simple ... (read in full...)

She went to give me oral sex and I lost my erection! Why?

Q.   Well my girlfriend was going to give me a blowjob. It was the first time she'd done it and it was the first time for me. Now this gonna sound creepy but for the whole 30 min walk back to my house, just by holding her hand I had an erection so it's ...

A.   21 January 2013: Just first time nerves, nothing to worry about ... (read in full...)

I don't believe I can satisfy my girlfriend physically. Should I leave her?

Q.   Appreciate any answers. I believe I can't physically satisfy my girlfriend and as a consequence believe I should leave her. I want to leave her if as I don't want a gf I can't please and I worry that this may be a reason for her leaving me so t...

A.   13 January 2013: Woh!!! Hang on just a minute! First off if your happy with this girl and you love and care about her then don't leave her. Secondly what makes you think you can't please her?? Supply more details. What you have to understand is if she's stuck with... (read in full...)

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