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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Should I move back home in the hopes that my ex will follow me?
Q. Hi I was wondering if you could help me. Ive asked a few questions in the past on the same topic. Its my Ex. We split up over a year ago now. He left as he has commitment issues, he left me up north in our home, I moved to London to get away from...
A. 6 August 2011: You are not making good choices. Reread the letter and pretend it's written by someone else.
Would you recommend not using birth control and having children with a possessive psycho? How about when someone else is sleeping with a guy who hold... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend ever cut the apron strings??
Q. I am 23 and have a 25 year old boyfriend who I love very much, he has many wonderful qualities. However, after 2 years together I am becoming frustrated by the seemingly immature aspects of his personality and the sense that the relationship isn't ...
A. 4 August 2011: If you put up with it, then you condone it and sanction it.
Quit while you are ahead and still young enough to find someone else.
He has to grow up and cling to you instead of his Mom and he needs to grow up; and he's never going to do that whi... (read in full...)
I have Xeroderma Pigmentosum, do I have the right to fall in love?
Q. i suffer from Xeroderma Pigmentosum or XP. Its an incurable disease that deals with UV rays. I can never go in the sun, and if i do i literally burn. My disease at most has a limit of twenty years, which means in most cases a person who has XP lives ...
A. 2 August 2011: Lovely words from a lovely person, and truer words were never spoken. What Daniel said...
... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my professor reply?
Q. So I wanted to remain friends with a former professor because she was a huge impact on my life. I asked her if we could remain in contact, she said yes, but every time I email her (the only form on contact we have) she doesn't reply. why would she ...
A. 2 August 2011: I would think that if a mutual bond of friendship had been forged, it would have been more apparent before the request to keep in touch.
A prof/student relationship is always something that would be frowned on by the faculty. Any Prof would prob... (read in full...)
Is this normal? I think I'm bordering on Asexual
Q. Okay, I'm confused. So, I'm a seventeen year old male. I know I'm biromantic - I'm fine with being in a relationship with either a man or a woman, I do prefer men, but it's close; 40/60% I have no trouble with my sex drive, I masturbate only ...
A. 2 August 2011: If you still have fantasies about women, but have only explored your sexuality with men, that should probably be a telling point. You did not say if you had even explored your sexuality with a woman/on in the same room; but most men who are bi/gay ... (read in full...)
How to face my girlfriend after 7 months break up?
Q. I am a very arrogant and proud guy being from very rich family here. I get everything in my life without dropping a single drop of sweat . 30 months back, I fell in love with a amazingly beautiful girl here and I kept my family status in hide from ...
A. 26 July 2011: 'Pride goeth before a fall.'
You haven't any personal wealth that you, yourself, have earned. This is quite different from being the bored son of a wealthy family, where you can treat others like playthings.
You have a long way to go to earni... (read in full...)
Will he ever respect me or should I just move on?
Q. Hi guys now i have been seeing my boyfriend for 17 months yesterday we got into an arguement and i called him immature and a wannabe because he made his female friend fall off a rope while she was walking on it and also turned her kayak and made her ...
A. 26 July 2011: Move on. He's an abusive bully.
... (read in full...)
Fallen and I can't get up...
Q. I am 29. The man I have been with since I was 20, the only man I have ever had sex with or even kissed, and then married at 25... has delusional jealousy. Life sucks. I don't have the strength to leave him. I love him still to an extent, even ...
A. 26 July 2011: I can't improve on a thing. You should post with a nom-de-plume anon. Good advice!... (read in full...)
Broke up with my BF because he was "sexting" this other girl, but now I want him back!
Q. Basically, I've just recently split up with my boyfrienda month ago because he was 'sexting' this girl, we saw eachother a couple times after but now we don't speak at all because I deleted him off facebook and stuff, (I done that cos I thought out ...
A. 25 July 2011: i think you should run after him, even though you know for a fact that he is sexting other girls. Wow. What a catch. I would be happy forever with a guy like that. Sarcasm.
YOU ARE 16!!!!!
Your whole life doesn't have to be decided right no... (read in full...)
I think I'm a pathological liar..how do I fix this?
Q. I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my ...
A. 25 July 2011: Kids need parent who aren't their 'friends' who regale them with their own youth; they need their actual parents. Parents need to not only consider their feelings, but teach them that every action has consequences. Morals are the one thing that ... (read in full...)
Would GF leave me if we can't concieve a kid? I
Q. My girlfriend is desperate to have a baby and I'm scared she'll leave me if I can't give her one. I'm 22 and she's 24, we've been together for 5 years and I love her to bits. We've been trying to conceive for nearly 2 years. People have said we're ...
A. 25 July 2011: Wow. Not going to test until a third miscarriage? Really? That seems so harsh to the expectant Mom. I knew one Mom who lost three babies at 9 months; and she was a basket case. The health system has a s*** load to answer for if they think three ... (read in full...)
Would GF leave me if we can't concieve a kid? I
Q. My girlfriend is desperate to have a baby and I'm scared she'll leave me if I can't give her one. I'm 22 and she's 24, we've been together for 5 years and I love her to bits. We've been trying to conceive for nearly 2 years. People have said we're ...
A. 25 July 2011: Wow. Not going to test until a third miscarriage? Really? That seems so harsh to the expectant Mom. I knew one Mom who lost three babies at 9 months; and she was a basket case. The health system has a s*** load to answer for if they think three ... (read in full...)
I think I'm a pathological liar..how do I fix this?
Q. I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my ...
A. 25 July 2011: I actually have a dog named Dufus. I have two kids that have turned out MORE than alright at 25 and 29, so I don't need parenting advice.... (read in full...)
I think I'm a pathological liar..how do I fix this?
Q. I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my ...
A. 24 July 2011: Hey anon,
Put your name behind your 'mouth' like the rest of us and stop name calling.
I talk like a Mom cause that's what I am.... (read in full...)
What could this brown discharge be?
Q. I apologize ahead of time for the graphic nature of this question. I had sex with a new guy last night after a long-term relationship ended. But this morning I have strange light-brown discharge. It doesn't have much of an odor, but I'm very ...
A. 24 July 2011: You have probably just stimulated your uterus and caused a little menstrual-like discharge.
Vigorous sex can even stimulate the release of an egg on occasion!
The only concern that I have is IF you didn't use a condom.
STD's wouldn't cau... (read in full...)
I think I'm a pathological liar..how do I fix this?
Q. I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my ...
A. 24 July 2011: Did your parents never read you the story "The Little Boy Who Cried 'Wolf'"?
You are destroying your own creditability and shooting yourself in the foot all at the same time! Eventually, you will erode your own credibility and eventually, none... (read in full...)
He cheated on me! I feel so gross, so horrible and devastated! Help!
Q. Yesterday I found out that my ex cheated on me last Thursday. He said nothing, he made me believe we were fine. But a friend told me he saw my ex with another girl. One of his slut friends... you know, the typical girl who hooks up with all guys in ...
A. 22 July 2011: Gosh, he sounds swell. Cheats, lies, hits his friends. I can see why he's such a catch.
You are basing your self esteem on losing a loser like that?
SERIOUSLY?
You need to respect yourself. This has NOTHING to do with your looks or being att... (read in full...)
Why is my cousin so judgmental about the men that I date?
Q. Hello Cupid! I met a 28-year-old distant cousin at a family reunion two years ago and we instantly clicked. At the time she was living in NY, and we would talk on average 3 to 4 times a week, sometimes more. And the majority of the conversation...
A. 22 July 2011: SHe's older, she's an ordained minister and she has dated for longer than you; did I get down all the reasons why you think her opinions are better than yours and you should believe everything she says about your love life?
She also changed citi... (read in full...)
He cheated on me! I feel so gross, so horrible and devastated! Help!
Q. Yesterday I found out that my ex cheated on me last Thursday. He said nothing, he made me believe we were fine. But a friend told me he saw my ex with another girl. One of his slut friends... you know, the typical girl who hooks up with all guys in ...
A. 20 July 2011: "Yesterday I found out that my ex cheated on me last Thursday. He said nothing, he made me believe we were fine. But a friend told me he saw my ex with another girl."
I'm thinking that you don't know the truth because you haven't talked with him ... (read in full...)
Joked that I saw him as a brother and all of a sudden he changed. Does he like me?
Q. Hi, I want a bit of help with this situation please!! I have a guy friend who I get on very well with. A few comments he has made have made me think that he may have liked me as more than a friend. I knew that he liked someone but he wouldn't...
A. 20 July 2011: He didn't take it as a joke; he took it seriously.
He thinks you aren't interested in him as a man now! You didn't just put him in the friend zone, you put him in the brother category. Yikes. Brutal.
If YOU are interested - you need to ... (read in full...)
Pain in right testicle and also had a little rash. Plz help!!
Q. Hi, im 19 years old, male!! Im feeling a slight pain in my Right terticle for last few days!! I musterbate regularly (4,5 time every week) !! Is it causing any pain?? I also had a little rash outside!! I can also feel a little pain right side little ...
A. 20 July 2011: See your Doctor A.S.A.P.... (read in full...)
Will it be possible to have sex and get married after a sex change?
Q. Can a boy after sexchange converted to complete woman. After that can she fulfil her desire of being woman and establish sexual relation with another male friend and become his wife?...
A. 20 July 2011: Anatomically, it's possible to surgically alter the male organ into the semblance of a female vagina (without the working parts to make babies of course). I have no idea if you can become 'female' legally and legally marry a man after surgery. ... (read in full...)
Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!
Q. MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...
A. 20 July 2011: It's nice to have a good rant every once in a while, isn't it?... (read in full...)
Is it domestic abuse if my husband yells at me? my kids and I get very upset by it.
Q. From the outside, my life seems perfect. I am in my late 30's and have been married for 15 plus years. My husband and myself have advanced degrees, demanding careers, and 2 beautiful children. I am just wondering if it is verbal abuse if my ...
A. 19 July 2011: Here's an excellent checklist if you are wondering what constitutes an abusive situation.
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/what-is-abuse/assess-your-situation/
I would suggest firstly that you gently but firmly remind him that you are his PART... (read in full...)
Is it really a big deal if I have never been in a relationship?
Q. Why do women make its such a big deal, if you've never been in a relationship? (girls is it a red flag or what? and how is it a red flag, i mean if somebody hasnt been through a intimate relationship, does that make it a no go?) ive honestly been...
A. 19 July 2011: I would simply explain that you are saving yourself for the right girl. This will probably have the effect of an Axe commercial where every girl within a 200 mile radius comes running towards you vying for your attention. lol.... (read in full...)
Choices. Can't decide between two perfect men. What do I base my decision to choose?
Q. I've noticed that other women on this forum have gone through or are going through a similar situation to mine. However, mine is a slight variation and the advice to the others didn't really apply. Here's my situation: I just recently broke o...
A. 19 July 2011: You are 21. Neither guy deserves a finite answer until YOU decide. Play the field and give yourself a bit of time to decide. Ultimately, the only person who can make this decision is you.
... (read in full...)
He says he still loves me. Can I trust my ex after he cheated with hookers?
Q. I recently broke up with my ex two months ago because I found out he was sleeping with hookers when he was working away. He's now back at home and wants to start over again. I love him dearly but he broke my heart. He says he is still in love with ...
A. 19 July 2011: Neither. Dump the cad. It's not worth your heart or your health - mentally or physically. You are not his Mom, you can't fix what's broken and you are cheating yourself of your own self worth if you waste any more time on him. Sorry to be harsh ... (read in full...)
We are engaged but he hasn't even told his parents about me!
Q. please help! I have been with the same guy for a little over 2 years. We have been engaged for over a year of the 2 years we have been together, but he still hasnt told his parents. he doesnt plan on getting married anytime soon. He says it will ...
A. 18 July 2011: What happens when he tells them and they get mad and dislike you because he has hidden this? Is that the way that you pictured this when you hoped to be someones wife?
I think the only solution is to give him back his ring and let him prop... (read in full...)
Having feelings for someone else, should I leave my boyfriend?
Q. Basically, I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly 6 years. When I was younger it was because we couldn't afford to move closer, and now its because he's been in uni and we can't afford to live together. So we have been apart, we see ...
A. 18 July 2011: I think you are very young in age still to be totally committed to one person; and although some relationships survive separations, not all do.
HOWEVER, the important part of any relationship IS the commitment! Although you are lonely; going out ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a two-year-old to want to nap/sleep/lay on her dad's chest?
Q. Is it normal for a two year old girl to want to nap/sleep/lay on her dad's chest? She's definitely a daddy's girl but a friend of mine told me she shouldn't want to lay on him. As soon as he lays down even if she's not going down for a nap or rea...
A. 12 July 2011: There is something that a Daddy gives from the moment a baby is born an the baby knows it. I remember how calm my babies were when they were in my husband's hands. Babies must love big masculine hands and feel safe in them. I think your little ... (read in full...)
Ex wants me to help her with repairs around her house, and is furious because I said I would charge her for it! Does that make me a jerk?
Q. I dated a girl for a while. In that time, I did a lot of things for her. One thing I did was help around her house. I am very handy and once worked for a plumber. I mowed the lawn and did repairs. We broke up two month ago. It was a bad breakup....
A. 11 July 2011: What is the statute of limitation on being obligated to help out an ex with a 'Honey Do' list after a bad breakup?
There is no obligation. You absolutely said/did the right thing by stating clearly "I was qualified to do this, I normally got paid... (read in full...)
My husband is always crossing the line with females!
Q. i have been with my husband 5 years married nearly one. weve always been up and down..but thats just us. but as long as ive been with him and dated him..he alwayss crosses the line with female friends. hes always flirting etc. and it bothers me to ...
A. 8 July 2011: You already know the answer to this question.
You knew it when you married him.
You knew what kind of man he is.
He likes to prop himself up at your expense.
You put up with his lies and look the other way.
I'm not sure exactly what yo... (read in full...)
Do all girlfriends steal from their boyfriends?
Q. My favorite soft drink is Mountain Dew and I have a Mountain Dew T-shirt. After my girlfriend came up in my room and when I wasn't in my room with her, I think she took my T-shirt. I'm not 100% sure she took it, but my T-shirt has been missing for a ...
A. 8 July 2011: awhhh Man, you can't do the heart thing using the less than sign and the 3 on DC?... (read in full...)
Do all girlfriends steal from their boyfriends?
Q. My favorite soft drink is Mountain Dew and I have a Mountain Dew T-shirt. After my girlfriend came up in my room and when I wasn't in my room with her, I think she took my T-shirt. I'm not 100% sure she took it, but my T-shirt has been missing for a ...
A. 8 July 2011: She lurves you. 3 ... (read in full...)
Bully husband wants sex
Q. I feel, when I read or listen some of these question, very awkward: husband/boy friend cheating, girls and wives cheating, etc. My situation is a little different from those: I have been marriage for 21 years (23 yrs. together, 1 son 16 years ol...
A. 4 July 2011: By letting your husband bully and psychologically abuse you in front of an impressionable teenage boy - you are, in fact, showing him that this is acceptable and showing him how to treat women (which is a frightening thought in this situation).
A... (read in full...)
Do I ask her out after she dumped me?
Q. Okay so there's this girl who i really like, she's my ex infact and her friends keep bugging me to ask her out but im unsure and also i do not know how/what to say, she asked me out when we dated and also she dumped me so im lost. How do I ask her ...
A. 3 July 2011: Don't ask her - like they both said. Even if her friends say to do it. Let her ask you if she feels that way and then - It's up to you to decide if you want to risk going out with her again. Sticking your hand into the fire again after you have ... (read in full...)
Does a relationship work if 2 cheaters get together?
Q. Can a relationship work if both people have cheated to be together? Will it have a happy ending or not and how long roughly do cheaters stay together before things start to go wrong? ...
A. 3 July 2011: Probably not; but Karma will have definitely run it's course. :^D... (read in full...)
Wondering about dating my brother's friend
Q. hi, im not sure what to do about the situation im in. basically me and my brothers friend really like each other and have been texting for a while. we havent been on an official date yet but my brother is all for it and even makes jokes about w...
A. 4 May 2011: I will just point out the possible problems that might occur. If you did date and then break up, he will probably still be friends with your brother and always be hanging around, which makes it hard to heal a broken heart. Your brother might ... (read in full...)
Feel like I'm trapped in a relationship where I'm not loved
Q. My problem is rather complex. For the last three years I have been in a relationship with this guy whom I love very much.We dated for 5 months but I broke up with him because I was young and felt I wanted to experience life. He took it pretty hard ...
A. 4 May 2011: GET OUT NOW.
You aren't married and you don't have children yet; get out before you CAN'T leave. He is obviously NOT over the fact that you hurt him and STILL trying to get back his pound of flesh; that's not love - that's abuse. There is some... (read in full...)
Should a guy really forgive a girl for being rude because she is on her period?
Q. Is a woman's cycle really a reason to forgive her sudden bitchiness? ...
A. 2 May 2011: Well put Odds.
Have to agree with all the writers; there isn't any easy answer. Be extremely thankful for your Y chromosome and exercise a bit of patience. With a bit of practice you will know when she is just moody from her cycle or milk... (read in full...)
Cheated on husband, now want him back?
Q. Hullo there, I am a married woman with a 2 year old son who doesn't know what to do next. The thing is I cheated on my husband two times and I was caught out by my husband. I truly love him and badly need him in my life. He was angry at first, but ...
A. 29 April 2011: First off; you are married and the mother of a two year old - you should not be dating!?!?!
Of course your husband is pissed.
He is Broken-hearted. You broke all your promises. To him. To the family you created. To your child.
And yet t... (read in full...)
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