A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I ran into an old boyfriend of mine in highschool I broke up with him because we were young and just not ready it's been some years he is now married for 2 years she has cheated on him and he is not sure if he is staying with her or not she is really young and they rushed into the marriage they have no kids togther. He added me on facebook and talked with me for a bit on the phone just catching up and told me I have always been his dreamgirl he wanted to meet up to hang out and play pool during a concert he was comign to see in town. Even though he said just as friends he was also flirting like I know I can be the man you want and need me to be now and I couldnt be back than as a younger man. I deleted him off facebook cause I am attracted to him and we'd never be able to date with him being married and friendship doesn't sound like enough for me. I deleted him and told him if you were single or ever became and healed we could talk but otherwise I am attracted to you, no I would never let him have an affair either nor would he so that was out the question. I dont want sex only I want a relationship in my life so don't think any affair would ever happen.He ignored me for a bit when I deleted him but than said what can i say about it, and im not mad at you your just doing you, and he said i was crazy for you in hs and still am and i wish you well. Now I have to get over the fact that I'm attracted to him and the possibility he is attracted to me too. I will wonder what could of been if he was single or would be single.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 May 2012):
 I agree with the other answerers here. You did the right thing. This man, while he may be attracted to you, isn't really available. He has some huge issues to resolve first and even though it looks like his marriage is over, you don't want to be his go-between, especially if he is still trying to reconcile with his wife.
In time, your emotions will calm down. If he is out of site, out of mind, you'll eventually move on. If he does become available, I am sure you'll be one of the first he calls.
In the meantime, make yourself available to other people who can devote their attentions to you. Time will ultimately be your healer in this and better times await you in the future.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): Thanks Basschick and everyone,
Yeah he tried counseling it's not working but I was just being supportive and nice about it all and wishing him luck with his decisions on what he will do about it all. She had sexual relations with a guy and woman at the same time in another state without him knowing. He deleted her off his facebook all her pictures I noticed it before I took him off my facebook. He needs time and space for sure he might work it out and might not who knows it's up to him and there marriage. They are living seperated right now. I just backed off! Thanks guys.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 YOU are so smart.
Emotions aside, think with your head and ask yourself - "Would I be happy and proud to describe this relationship and how it started to our children?"
You already know the answer - It's the same reason that you didn't want to to get involved in the first place.
He's not available.
Wouldacouldashoulda. Not applicable.
You don't need any advice from us. You already know what is best for you and have already dodged this bullet. Smart girl. Not every feeling needs to be acted upon.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 So his wife cheated and he knows about it. Does he want to stay in his marriage? Or does he want out?...My guess is he doesn't yet know what he wants. It's good that you have distanced yourself. He needs to clear his head without the distraction of you, and figure out what needs to be done next. Counseling or divorce. He may stll end up being single but you'll have to be very patient. He'll need time and space to heal before he is any good for you. Good luck.
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