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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Cheated on husband, now want him back?
Q. Hullo there, I am a married woman with a 2 year old son who doesn't know what to do next. The thing is I cheated on my husband two times and I was caught out by my husband. I truly love him and badly need him in my life. He was angry at first, but ...
A. 29 April 2011: First off; you are married and the mother of a two year old - you should not be dating!?!?!
Of course your husband is pissed.
He is Broken-hearted. You broke all your promises. To him. To the family you created. To your child.
And yet t... (read in full...)
Surely by 25 this feeling of awkwardness should be gone?
Q. Hi I have a problem that I don't know how to overcome. I have little confidence in myself, especially when talking to people. I feel this has got worse in the last 3 years or so. I just can't help noticing people my age around me have so much sel...
A. 29 April 2011: OOOhhhhh No Hunnie! Surely you have heard about the Quarter-Life Crisis? I wish I had when I was 25. It's a rough age. It's about coming to the reality of knowing that you are going to have to survive and stand on your own two feet...
The awkw... (read in full...)
Does this FWB thing make me a slut?
Q. Last year, I got to know a guy in my class, S (lets call him that for now) We hit it right off and became really good friends. To the extent that we had people asking us every few days "are you guys going out?" Our friendship progressed and we ...
A. 27 April 2011: If you think L is right; YOU are the only person who is in control of what you are doing. So stop it! Tell S to take a hike and behave as if you really like L by not flirting and sending notes to other boys in front of him. You can't act that way ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about sleeping with a close friend while we were seeing each other.
Q. My boyfriend recently confessed that he slept with a close female friend of his. It's a little bit complicated because this girl, C, was a long time girlfriend of one of the other guys in their group of friends and she and him would often spend time ...
A. 27 April 2011: I question her intentions towards him, I question his lies (sin of omission?) and his loyalties and I doubt that I would stick around or ask how to "get past it and deal with them still being friends(?)". They went past being "just friends", that's ... (read in full...)
Why does my married employer keep bringing up his ex?
Q. Hi, I have known a certain MARRIED man for the last eight to nine months. I met him at my workplace, as I look after his son. This man has been giving me lifts home from my workplace when he comes to pick his son up quite often. We get on re...
A. 20 April 2011: I carpooled with 3 other people, all men, but they were all married, respectful and professional. Talking about your ex makes this too personal and you are going well past the point of being merely colleagues or carpool buds.
My personal take is t... (read in full...)
Views on kids before marriage?
Q. Hey Agony's :) I just wanted to get the older and younger generations views on premarital children. I see that a lot of people nowadays are having children before even thinking of marriage. I was just curious as to what all of your opinions wer...
A. 17 April 2011: The choice to marry or not to marry doesn't have any effect on a couple who doesn't stick together when the going gets tough; that happens whether or not you marry.
I chose to marry for life. I meant my vows when I said them. Some people don'... (read in full...)
Views on kids before marriage?
Q. Hey Agony's :) I just wanted to get the older and younger generations views on premarital children. I see that a lot of people nowadays are having children before even thinking of marriage. I was just curious as to what all of your opinions wer...
A. 15 April 2011: Try viewing your question as viewed by the child raised inside of the situation that you are asking about. The child should come first. So, logically, the parents should be married first. Wouldn't that be the logical conclusion?
If you WERE to a... (read in full...)
Is it ok for 2 men to share a bed??
Q. Is it normal for 2 grown men (early 40's) to sleep in the same bed? What if they were watching a movie and due to the late hour had simply fallen asleep? Is it normal for grown men to lay on the same bed watching a movie together in the first pl...
A. 31 March 2011: It's not weird...
...unless they were both naked and watching porn!... (read in full...)
Worried about my penis size
Q. i have a 5.7 inch erect penis length and 4.3 girth is this enough to satisfy a girl?......
A. 31 March 2011: Yes.... (read in full...)
We hardly have sex anymore. How do I get the spark back?
Q. How do i get the spark back? Me and my partner have been together a year. I am quite confident, opinionated and bossy were as he is shy, quiet and passive in arguments etc. I think i must intimidate him as we hardly have sex anymore because i never ...
A. 31 March 2011: Time for a vacation. There's lots of ways to get away and get a change of scenery. Even if you have a tight budget, you could visit relatives in another place, or housesit for someone else. If you DO have the means, then splurge on a weekend or ... (read in full...)
Would it be nasty if I receive oral sex from his close friend?
Q. Hello!!! In Just going to get straight to it, would I be nasty if I received oral sex from this Guy if I use to have sex with his friend? OK me and the Guy who I use to Have sex with we don't talk, haven't talked in Like 7 months. They both liked Me...
A. 11 March 2011: When having "casual" sex - avoid relationships that have involvements with other parts of your "life" in general. Including your past. It just makes the FUTURE simpler.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't have my number saved in his phone!!!
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a little over a year now. One day, he lost his phone at my place. We decided to use my phone to call it hoping to follow the sound of the ringer. When I found it ringing, I noticed that my number was not saved in ...
A. 10 March 2011: I'd look at #3 a bit closer.... (read in full...)
I found photos of my husband at a big fancy party that he attended without telling me! He said he was going to play pool with friends! I'm I crazy to worry about this?
Q. My husband went to a birthday party for his friends' wife without me (I knew some of the party attendees, but have not socialized with them in over ten years, not because of a falling out or anything, just because of busy lives). He went to this ...
A. 10 March 2011: There are a lot of unanswered questions here. It's not normal to NOT have attended any parties with your husbands friends for 10 years. What's up with that? What happened between you and the friends that made you stop going to couples functions ... (read in full...)
I cant sleep with my boyfriend's snoring!
Q. Hey readers, I don't know what to do - whenever I spend the night with my bf, his snoring and loud breathing keeps me awake so I can't get to sleep til, like, 5am! I don't know what to do about it. We've been together 6 months, and he knows he ...
A. 10 March 2011: Ear plugs. Leave the TV on. Poke him and tell him to switch over to his other side. Nasal strips.
But every once in a while - you have to get a good night's sleep - so switch rooms. Some nights it's easy to put up with; other nights it's not.... (read in full...)
My ex is making sexual comments against me
Q. Hello, i hope you can help. two years ago i started dating this boy who kept nagging me (i didnt like him and he was annoying at first) after a while i gave in and gave him a chance as a reslut of this i dumbly fell for him. it was a long year rel...
A. 10 March 2011: IN TOTAL AGREEMENT with ALL the previous comments!
and Hunnie...
That person who claims to be your friend and is flirting with him?
NOT your friend. Sorry. You might be able to hang with her, you might be in the same circle of friends; but... (read in full...)
Ladies, if you’re with a well endowed man, what is it, exactly, that gets you most excited about sex with him from a purely physical aspect?
Q. Ladies...if you are with a man who is well endowed, what is it, exactly, that gets you most excited about sex with him from a purely physical aspect? If it is his size, what specifically about his penis is the most enticing? Seeing it and looking ...
A. 9 March 2011: I think that Nietzsche's dick was shorter than your answer, Daniel.
Bwahaha. ;^D... (read in full...)
Why is he apologising now?
Q. My Exboyfriend texted me to say "I am truly sorry for all that I did to you. I hope things are well, I miss you (petname)." He cheated on me and left me for another woman 6 months ago. We were together 6 years. He has sent a couple messages like ...
A. 8 March 2011: Sounds to me like a fishing expedition for a booty call.
Goor for you for not falling for this hook, line and sinker.
Once a cad, always a cad.... (read in full...)
The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...
A. 3 March 2011: Well said Cerberus.... (read in full...)
A rich guy or someone that you love?
Q. hey i'm a heart broker and don't know what to do.. i'm chinese, stay in shanghai, i'm from hk worked in shanghai now, i met a pretty girl in my life 1 years ago, as first we just friends, cos i have a girl friend and she has a boy friend too...bu...
A. 3 March 2011: If she cannot break traditions and has to marry someone else for the sake of his status and money; you need to let her go and never see her again. You need a loving wife, not a lover.
I am with a rich man now; but when I married him, we were livi... (read in full...)
I'm confused and lost, I like this guy, it's a LDR only over FB as he doesn't own a phone!
Q. Do long distance relationships work.? I like this guy Doesn't own a phone I only talk to him on Facebook he lives 1 hour away We see eachother once every two weeks Potential? Do they work? And do you think this will work?...
A. 2 March 2011: He sure sounds like he is "otherwise involved" and lying. That's why he is limiting how you can contact him! "We can ONLY talk through facebook/I don't have a cell phone."??? This is the USA, EVERYONE has a cell phone - especially every single 25 ... (read in full...)
How do I start loving myself and feel worthy? my self esteem is at rock bottom
Q. Will I ever feel good enough is the question. I am nearly 36 and to cut a long story short, I feel pretty worthless and not good enough and not accepted and worry about being judged and people realising this about me. I am fairly sure it stems from ...
A. 2 March 2011: Honey, you sound like a rock! You are a survivor! You could have been just like your parents; you chose a different path. YOU broke the mould. You have a degree and a son who loves you; sounds like a winner to me!
Therapy could help you feel... (read in full...)
Her interferring mother has called off the wedding. What advice can I offer, when asked, and not make this fiasco worse?
Q. I was due to attend a wedding next week of two very dear friends. One (him) a relative of mine and she a great friend. It seemed a marriage made in heaven. They both have great jobs. Though she is a tiny bit more qualified than him. That was of...
A. 1 March 2011: There is a part in the ceremony that says:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
The same goes for the woman when she becomes a wife. She is a grown woman and if s... (read in full...)
The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...
A. 28 February 2011: There is none so blind as they that won’t see. - Jonathan Swift Might I just offer that a KIND man and an HONORABLE man would never put a woman in this situation? Doing the right thing is the Highest priority for any man of good conscience; any ... (read in full...)
The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...
A. 28 February 2011: I think getting DOORMAT tattooed on your forehead backward so that YOU can read it in the mirror every time you look into it would be helpful...
BUT it might be painful and even MORE painful to remove.
Perhaps if you read it in the mirror every mo... (read in full...)
I broke up with him, he's in another relationship now, but I really miss him! How can I get him back?
Q. I went out with this boy a while ago and I dumped him because well its a long story. Anyway he cut his hair, got a new hair style, and he has really mutured...but he's got a girlfriend and he keeps rubbing it in my face like...oh I'm going to see ...
A. 28 February 2011: Nooooo. Don't. Not cool.
And how much would YOU trust and appreciate someone who dumped you who pursues you again because they 'changed their mind'?
NOT cool. ... (read in full...)
I like oral sex, but I do not enjoy intercourse, and I see it as a burden. How can I learn to enjoy sex?
Q. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend just over a year now. He's the only person I've ever had sex with and I've never really enjoyed it. I enjoy oral sex, but whilst we are having intercourse I don't feel much at all and I feel as if sex is a ...
A. 25 February 2011: If you are having sex only to please him; I don't think that I can explain to you at your young age how to enjoy sex more. i firmly believe that you should only be having sex with a partner that you should be willing to raise babies with; so I hope ... (read in full...)
We broke up and now have a FWB relationship. I don't get much sex, and I feel used! Should I end it?
Q. So my girlfriend and I broke up a few months back, but kept a FWB relationship till one of us meet someone else. The only problem is that we actually have only had sex once or twice, yet every night she comes to my room, eats my food, watches my ...
A. 25 February 2011: Geez Louise! Grow a pair! Stop using her as a a fur lined safety deposit box and she won't have any excuse to mistreat you. ... (read in full...)
I love my friends, but all they talk about is sex! How do I tell them I think they are being crude? Or should I say nothing?
Q. I have a great group of friends ranging in age from 13 to 17. I'm almost 15, so I'm in the middle, age-wise. Well what's upsetting me is that my friends are funny and great, and I love them, but every other topic is sex! Like threesom...
A. 25 February 2011: Get some new friends.... (read in full...)
I just don't want to end up in a sex-less marriage. Please help.
Q. I have been with my man for a few years now and we are engaged to be married in a few months time. Recently the sexual part of the relationship seems to be non existent. Its been at least two and a half weeks since we last had sex and we are lucky ...
A. 25 February 2011: I agree with bitterblue. Don't go ahead with the marriage; which INCLUDES a lifetime of raising a family in a situation that you ALREADY aren't happy with. You are not even engaged yet. There is something else going on here that hasn't surfaced ... (read in full...)
I am still attracted to her and enjoy sex, but I don't feel like I love her anymore. Should I break up with her?
Q. Basically I have been dating this girl for two years now and she's the only girl I have ever dated. She's a great girlfriend but I just feel as if this relationship has ran its course. I may sound horrible but when I'm about to meet up with her to ...
A. 23 February 2011: Sorry - You SHOULD wait until your exams are over. That's the kindest thing to do. It's not a big deal for You because you are the one who is fed up and wants out - you won't be heartbroken when you move on. But SHE is going to be heartbroken - ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I have finished puberty?
Q. I'm 17, and I was just wondering, how do I know if I'm done with puberty? I've always looked a lot younger than everyone else, and it's something which I'm quite self conscious about. But for a while I was thought that I was done with puberty, bu...
A. 23 February 2011: There is not much chance of growing in height past the age of 25, but more likely than not, you will have achieved your height by the age of 20. I had a male friend who grew a whole foot taller at 21 years old, but it's unusual to have a growth ... (read in full...)
I want children, he already has 2. Do I believe him when he says we could have more?
Q. My boyfriend has 2 kids from his previous marriage, I don't have children but would like to. He doesn't want any more children, but he says he will consider it if we get married. Do I take him at his word and hope he changes his mind if we marry ...
A. 22 February 2011: Agree with Honeypie totally, you need to sit down and hammer this out BEFORE you marry and not *hope* he changes his mind with a glimpse of hope that he will 'consider' it; he might just 'consider it and say No Way!!!
You need to know for sure... (read in full...)
So for Valentine's Day my boyfriend got me lube and a dildo, where's the rest of my present?
Q. My Boyfriend got me a dildo and lube for valentine's day and I'm really upset because that is not at all what I wanted. What should I do?...
A. 17 February 2011: Be Kind. I KNOW!!!! My husband bought me a BowFlex for my birthday (he had remembered that I wanted to get into better shape... Seriously? Not a good idea). I get it. You are not happy with his ineptitude.
Firstly, Don't Be Shy!!! TELL him ... (read in full...)
My husband's child and the mother from a past relationship are back in our lives...the child stays with us every weekend, and my life is pretty much over!
Q. Two years ago I got married for the second time. My husband has a child from a previous relationship and all the time we have been married and for all the time the child has been born the mother and the child have lived in the US. The child who is ...
A. 16 February 2011: If you state EXACTLY what you want BEFORE you get married, I view it much like a prenup contract. Perhaps you should have had it it writing; but you DID tell him in advance.
"My days of dealing with young children are over and if I had had an i... (read in full...)
My husband's child and the mother from a past relationship are back in our lives...the child stays with us every weekend, and my life is pretty much over!
Q. Two years ago I got married for the second time. My husband has a child from a previous relationship and all the time we have been married and for all the time the child has been born the mother and the child have lived in the US. The child who is ...
A. 15 February 2011: As much as I am looking forward to grandchildren, I don't think that at 55 I could ever raise a child again and I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband always said that getting our out of the house before he turned 50 was his ... (read in full...)
Great relationship... ermmm... except for the sex!
Q. Have been dating a great man for seven months. Was never particularly physically attracted, but he's ok to me physically. Anyway, got into it for a few months, but after 3-4 months, have been very turned off physically. He's fairly overweight and ...
A. 13 February 2011: Wow.
You are a grownup. Decisions are part of being a grownup.
Seriously? Read your own letter!!! It's pretty damn obvious that you really aren't that into him.
Move On!... (read in full...)
This man has given me mixed signals! What do you do when they pull away???
Q. Hello. Any advice from men/women would be greatly appreciated. I need some opinions as I just do not know what to think about this one and how to act or even if I am overreacting! Seeing this guy, who originally I saw maybe once/twice a wee...
A. 9 February 2011: ANy chance that the family is of a different background from your own?... (read in full...)
Our arguments are ruining our relationship. Now is mother is interfering! What should I do?
Q. I'm really upset. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for a few years. We have been arguing recently. Last weekend, we argued because he was asleep all day and night for a couple of days. Although, I do feel sorry for him because he has a back ...
A. 9 February 2011: I think that you are using this whole incident as a distraction. I was unemployed for 6 months, and it affected everything else in my life. I was depressed about it, it affected my self esteem - of course - how could it not? I made some really ... (read in full...)
Astrological signs compatibility?
Q. Hello would this be a good match? Female Sun - LEO Moon - Pisces Venus - Virgo Mars - Leo Male Sun-GEMINI Moon- Cancer Venus - Taurus Mars - Taurus Thank you...
A. 9 February 2011: Link's not working...
Go to Time Magazines website and enter "Zodiac Switcheroo". Very interesting read!!!... (read in full...)
Astrological signs compatibility?
Q. Hello would this be a good match? Female Sun - LEO Moon - Pisces Venus - Virgo Mars - Leo Male Sun-GEMINI Moon- Cancer Venus - Taurus Mars - Taurus Thank you...
A. 9 February 2011: On Jan. 13th, just two weeks before Saturn turned retrograde in Libra, humans in the western world woke to the disruptive report that their star sign had changed; or rather that their star sign was probably never the one they thought it was! You ... (read in full...)
Could my friend be gay too?
Q. Hi, I'm a 15 year old closeted gay, and deathly afraid of anyone finding out. And I was wondering if my friend could also possibly be gay? I know it's a long question and I'm sorry. My friend, "Mike", is 15, nice, makes good grades, an athlete,...
A. 5 February 2011: Impossible to tell from this I'm sorry to say... Have you ever talked about girls with him or ASKED if he likes anyone? If there is some kind of formal or event coming up - you could ask if he is going to ask anyone to go with him. Keep asking ... (read in full...)
My husband's child and the mother from a past relationship are back in our lives...the child stays with us every weekend, and my life is pretty much over!
Q. Two years ago I got married for the second time. My husband has a child from a previous relationship and all the time we have been married and for all the time the child has been born the mother and the child have lived in the US. The child who is ...
A. 5 February 2011: CaringGuy nailed it. Ann Landers used to ask the question - "Would I be better off with or without him?". It's what you need to ask yourself.... (read in full...)
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