How do I bring up my wife's spending habits without getting into a fight?
Q. So we have been doing fine throughout this pandemic, luckily we both have our jobs and health. part of our student loans are frozen so thats been a nice chunk of change that we dont have to pay monthly. but even then we are slowly losing money. ...
A. 27 September 2020: I think you both need to sit down, draw up all of your outgoings and expenditures right down to the last penny.
You can do this in a very easy and diplomatic way, but by doing this you will both see who spends what, and how much.
She might not... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for feeling it was a dumb comment at a very bad timing after all the stuff shes put us through?
Q. My boyfriends ex made it a point to be the center of attention the first part of our relationship. To the point where i was about ready to leave him despite that he wasnt really to blame for it. Though there was about 2 times he lied about ...
A. 27 September 2020: No one in their right mind would make a comment such as this right after being intimate, it was insensitive and mindless.
I would question where his mind is at?. If you really like someone and are really into them, then the last thing on your min... (read in full...)
I want to move out with boyfriend, but barely have savings?
Q. Hello, I'm saving up for an apartment with my boyfriend and maintaining my own well, but my boyfriend has been slacking. He's worked longer than I have and saved close to none. Part of it, is that he helps his mother pay for groceries and wh...
A. 25 September 2020: Getting a house, or flat/apartment is a really huge step, whether renting or getting a mortgage, its one of the biggest steps we make in our lives.
I think if you are doing it with a partner, you go in to it evenly, and spit the mortgage... (read in full...)
We dated he broke it off and now when he sees me he totally shuns me
Q. A few months ago I went on a few dates with a man who then abruptly told me he didn’t want a relationship of any kind and seemed to disappear off the face of the earth. He works locally and I used to pass him regularly on the way to our respectiv...
A. 25 September 2020: I would not be upset by this, he sounds like a right berk.
One way to look at is you could think yourself lucky, you dodged a bullet. At least you found out now he's an idiot, and not further down the line one you were more involved.
Should ... (read in full...)
My wife is leaving me for a 22 year old that works at McDonalds
Q. I've only just found out that my wife has been seeing a 22 year old man over the past 3 months in secret. The person who told me was my best friend; he was embarrassed when he told me this. I've got two kids aged 8 and 11, and I love my wif...
A. 25 September 2020: I think that she is making a huge mistake, and I can't see it ending well for her.
She is leaving her marriage for a 22 year old that works in Mcdonalds, who has been wearing her bikini's in a car park, I think she has taken leave of her senses. ... (read in full...)
Wife discovered the affair, now I am working on my marriage but can't forget my mistress.
Q. I am in agony so I guess I have come to the right place. Long story short. I was involved in a long term affair with a beautiful and caring woman. My wife discovered the affair recently and demanded I stopped all contact with the other woman, whi...
A. 25 September 2020: I think that you should think yourself lucky that you still have a future with your wife after she found out about your affair.
You broke a major trust barrier in your marriage, your wife took you back. She could have quite easily have washed h... (read in full...)
I'm married and making out with my husband's best friend
Q. I made a mistake again... I know once is a mistake and two types is purely stupid but I didn't think and now I need help to stop. I am in a troubled marriage but we are still trying to work through it as we truly love one another. However his best ...
A. 22 September 2020: We can all offer you advice on what we think you should do here, but at the end of the day the only person that can help you here is you.
Trust is one of the most important contributing factors that bind a relationship together. Once this tru... (read in full...)
How long does it take to really move on from someone?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for five years. About two years ago, I had a fling with another guy. It was all flirty banter until it went too far and we slept together. I told my boyfriend and cut the man off. I told him I didn't want to lose my ...
A. 22 September 2020: I think its impossible to say how long it takes to get over someone as everyone is different.
I think you were lucky that your boyfriend took you back after your fling with another guy. You betrayed his trust and went with someone else, and he f... (read in full...)
Does holding resentment towards an ex means I haven't moved on?
Q. When we met online, we hit it off. we met in person and the connection and chemistry was undeniable. He stayed at my flat for 2 weeks.And he asked me to be exclusive but the problem is we live 4 hours apart. But he said we will make it work. When he ...
A. 19 September 2020: I think that Honeypie gave you great advice.
You are still very young, and all relationships during our teens and early 20's are a learning curve.
Its never easy when a relationship ends, or people have messed us around, but what we take wit... (read in full...)
Should we think about moving in his sisters house? She's bossy and controlling
Q. Should we think about moving in his sisters house my husbands oldest sister husband passed March of this year she is now saying she wont s to move out her house. I cannot stand her she controlling bossy and sure a pain in our marriage she sto...
A. 18 September 2020: I agree with CindyCares, i too did not understand the whole story very well either.
Did you say she won't move out of her house, or she wants to move out of her house?.
Either way moving in with her, or her becoming your landlady, i thin... (read in full...)
Dating a escort and need advice
Q. So I recently started dating a escort who I had seen a few times. We really hit it off well and I knew after the first visit it would be hard not to fall for her, come to find out she wad feelings for metoo just not quite as strong at the time. We ...
A. 17 September 2020: You have been to see this escort a few times, and you are both declaring your love for each other.
I assume you have only been seeing her in her place of work, paying her a substantial amount of money for whatever she performed, them shortly ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should take this is a sign that he isn't that interested in me, or am I looking too deeply into this?
Q. I have just started to get to know a guy. I really like him, however, he never initiates contact. He only texts me if I text him first. If I don't text him, I don't hear from him. Also, he takes a very long time to reply, sometimes an entire day. Do ...
A. 17 September 2020: He sounds like a bit of a game player to me.
In this day and age everyone has got their phone with them or close by, so there is no reason why it should take an entire day to reply.
If you don't text, you don't hear from him, so he can't even... (read in full...)
My married bf gave up the best sex with me to go back to a sexless marriage. How is that even possible?
Q. I'm hoping to get advice from all of you wise people because I have no idea what's going on. My married boyfriend left me. He said he's going back to his marriage because his wife found out about us. We've been together for several years. I...
A. 15 September 2020: His wife found out about you guy's. Whether he come clean and told her, or she found out in another way we don't know.
He now has the task of trying to repair his marriage, repairing the damage he has done to the woman he stood at the alter wi... (read in full...)
My friend tried to kiss me knowing I have a boyfriend
Q. I met with a guy friend over the week end for lunch. We hadn't seen each other for about 9 or so months but message each other maybe on average once a month. I have been in a relationship for 18 months and my friend knows this as I regularly talk...
A. 14 September 2020: Are you sure you never mistakenly took a goodbye kiss for something more?.
If he did try to kiss you i would not bother confronting your friend about this. Neither of you have been in contact since so maybe he feels awkward about the whole th... (read in full...)
Why is my married boyfriend emotionally torturing me? He keeps leaving me and then coming back!
Q. Why would the married man I've been involved with keep leaving me and coming back? He left me in July and came back. He just left me again. He said he loves me and that's why he has to let me go. Cause he can't stand seeing me suffer cause I want ...
A. 14 September 2020: Honeypie is absolutely right, he leaves and comes back because you let him.
If you keep letting it this situation is never going to change, this will go on and on until you nip this in the bud.
He is a liar, a cheat, and is being unfaithful... (read in full...)
I'm worried and feeling impatient that my falling out with my friend isn't getting sorted
Q. I feel silly writing this but here goes I fell out with a friend over something I did with best intentions but my friend didn't see it that way As they are busy working in had to WhatsApp an apology I was genuine as I felt awful and told th...
A. 14 September 2020: I think you have got be a bit more light hearted about all this.
You sent an apologetic text, you got a response saying we will catch up soon which is fair enough.
We will catch up soon does not always mean they send the text hoping to catch ... (read in full...)
Is my ex playing games with me?
Q. Me and my ex were together for 6 months, he is 5 years younger than me I'm 31 and he is 26. We live 2 hours drive apart,but we never let any of those factors affect the relationship. The only factor that did come into play at times, was covid didn't ...
A. 14 September 2020: For what ever reason this relationship never worked out, so I think the chances are its not going to work the second time around.
Your right, no one changes in four days. You have moved on, you have accepted that it never worked, he displaye... (read in full...)
My family always has to drink when there are get togethers
Q. Hi.. it's a family problem I need help with ... Both my mum and dad are functioning drinkers both work hard but like a drink .. my issue is that it's been this way for years and this puts me off drinking and i have struggled for years that no ...
A. 7 September 2020: The problem is we can't change people, our family, our friends, our colleagues are what they are.
Your right to stand your ground, be firm like you have been and refuse an alcoholic drink when you go around to visit, and just let the negative... (read in full...)
I just found out my wife cheated on me 30 years ago and I'm a mess
Q. my wife and i have been marrid for 30yrs i just found out she told me that she was sleeping with herex for almost a year.it was ended because he died i know that if he had not passed she would have left me right now i'm a basket case even though ...
A. 7 September 2020: Why has she held on to this information for three decades before deciding to divulge this information to you?.
So she was sleeping with her ex for almost a year, was this while she was married to you?. or before she met you?.
How do you kn... (read in full...)
Could I get some views/insight into dating events and how they work? And also whether you think they're worth it?
Q. Hi All Please could I get some views/insight into dating events and how they work? And also whether you think they're worth it? I was thinking of trying it but since i'm the only one in my friends circle who's single, i'd be on my own! I u...
A. 7 September 2020: I think its a good way of meeting someone, and if you don't meet someone its a good way of meeting and making new friends.
I accompanied my friend to one in London a few years back. I thought it was not really my thing, but I went along anyway. ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to quit his job to be a judge. I'm worried he is driven by money and hasn't thought things through
Q. Since the pandemic started, my husband has told me how he wants to quit his job and become a judge; he claims "No need to work from home, no annoying office politics, good pay, interesting job." He then went on to say "It's well-paid, compa...
A. 4 September 2020: I think sometimes we don't think things through properly, and leave a perfectly good well paid job, and leave to go somewhere else, only a few months down the line regret making the decision.
He could be cutting of his nose to spite his face. yo... (read in full...)
I'm not comfortable dating a woman who doesn't share my views on sex. Should I cancel the date?
Q. Dear cupid, I decided a long time ago to remain celibate until marriage. I am not religious, it's my upbringing. Sex outside marriage whether premarital or extra marital is taboo. I been talking to a woman who has shown interest in me, and decid...
A. 4 September 2020: I think all you can be is honest with her, then just let the chips fall where they may.
Go on the date with her, be yourself and just enjoy the first date. If you feel its appropriate to bring the subject up then do so. If she sticks around a... (read in full...)
Bf masturbated to his female friend, considering leaving him
Q. my bf of 6 months has a hot female friend that posts sexy fb photos everyday showing her body and posts flirty comments on my bf's profile. they have been friends for a decade, still go out from time to time and are still in touch. they have never ...
A. 3 September 2020: Did he just openly confess to you that he is masturbating over her facebook pictures?. I did you catch him in the act one day?.
I think he has crossed a boundary, he has gone further than just masturbating to regular porn, instead choosing... (read in full...)
I want to both be with him and also be like him my crush of 12 years
Q. I've had a crush on a guy for about 12 years possibly 13. We went to school together and while we weren't exactly friends I had a tough time at school being bullied and he was always nice to me. We were in a lot of the same classes for a wh...
A. 3 September 2020: I'm sorry to sound harsh, but you graduated school nearly a whole decade ago, don't you think its time to let this crush go.
Nothing came of it while you were at school, and nothing is going to come of it now.
Yes we all have memories, some g... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I wasted 9 years of my life with him. He came out as transgender with no warning and wants us to live as a gay couple
Q. (I'm using their preferred gender pronouns here, not birth ones). I'm married (18 months) and have a 4-year-old daughter. Last week my wife admitted to me that he was transgender and had only married me for money and to have a child. He...
A. 2 September 2020: Its sounds to me like she has made up her mind that she now want's to live a man. I think its rather a tall order to expect you to want to live as a gay couple, especially if your not gay.
What's also odd is she openly admitted to you that she... (read in full...)
My boyfriend made a rude remark about my new hobby. Should I get another hobby?
Q. I am going riding with a motorcycle riding group. My boyfriend has encouraged me to get some hobbies I do on my own. I've always liked going on scenic drives on motorcycles. So I found this group. When I told my boyfriend about it, he said that ...
A. 2 September 2020: No I don't think you should find another hobby, why should you. He encouraged you to get a hobby, and that is what you have done.
I think what he said is rather insecure on his part, and the comment he made was wrong.
I don't think there is a... (read in full...)
How do I meet men of my choice?
Q. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he's not straightforward forward to me and since then have been left alone. I haven't meet any man of my choice since then. What can I do about that please?...
A. 1 September 2020: You don't mention how long you have been split up from your boyfriend.
If its recent take some time out from dating, don't risk a rebound relationship.
There are many things that you can do to meet the man of your choice.
There is intern... (read in full...)
I know I need to end things with my boyfriend but so much is going on now. Do I wait?
Q. My boyfriend got really drunk on Friday. We were out. He drank way too much, too fast. He was a mess, I was embarrassed. One of his friends made a comment about him sobering up one day, and my boyfriend went to try and punch him, but the bloke got ...
A. 1 September 2020: I agree with the other aunts. OP you need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible.
The longer you leave it the harder it will become. Stop keep talking yourself out of leaving him, instead of coming up with reasons why you can't, c... (read in full...)
Am I the bad guy or did I do the right thing?
Q. I graduated uni this year and am leaving town at the end of next week.. I dated a girl during second year of uni, and then it was going badly/she was being shady and flaky and talking to HER ex (she slept with him after we broke up, and also went on ...
A. 31 August 2020: I think that you did absolutely the right thing, telling her face to face you would rather not stay in touch.
She messed you around, was shady and flaky, and sleeping with her ex. Your right, this is not the girl for you, and certainly not some... (read in full...)
Was this doctor inappropriate or am I overreacting?
Q. I am 35 years old and a mother of one. Happily married for the last 5 years. When the pandemic was just starting to take shape, we shifted into a new apartment complex, within the campus where my husband works. Our new neighbours include a young ...
A. 31 August 2020: I don' think he said or did anything wrong here, he simply needed to know that you was not pregnant as the medication he was going to prescribe should not be taken during pregnancy.
Also if he is going to prescribe this medication, he would also... (read in full...)
Strong sexual feelings for future mother in law
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend for one year now. Through everything we've been through, including covid and family issues (my family) I feel like we have really been able to get to know each other and see that our relationship can work and we ...
A. 27 August 2020: Honeypie is right, self control is what you need.
The good thing about infatuations, strong sexual desires, and lust is impermanence, nothing lasts forever, and eventually these feelings abate.
Just keep these thoughts to yourself, no one... (read in full...)
How was I supposed to react to this situation?
Q. We have a friend staying with us who is doing some carpentry for us (for pay), and this evening before dinner I said to the hot and dusty guy, "don't you want to take a shower before dinner?" he declined and I repeated, "are you sure? I can ask ...
A. 27 August 2020: If he was not staying with you, and was just there for like the afternoon or something i could understand he might want to take his shower at home.
But as he is staying with you, i can't understand him not wanting to take a shower before dinner. ... (read in full...)
No spark on the first date, should there be a second?
Q. I went on a first date which I had been really looking forward to. It was a guy I met via a dating app and the chat before had been really good. However within the first 5 seconds of meeting, I knew I wasn't attracted to him at all. The date ...
A. 27 August 2020: A lot of people go on a first date, and if the feeling or the spark is not there decide not to embark on a second date. Or some people go for a second date so see if a spark arises.
The chances are that if you go on a second date with him, it ... (read in full...)
Never had a long term relationship - any advice?
Q. I'm 25 years old and I've never been in a long term or serious relationship. I'm happy with myself and with my life, I have great friends, a job I love and a fab family and on the whole I am very content with being single but I feel like I'm at a ...
A. 26 August 2020: I don't think that you are doing anything wrong, you simply just have not met the right one yet. Sometimes we have to try on lots of pairs of shoes before we find the perfect fit.
You have got lots going for you, your happy with yourself... (read in full...)
I like him but my friends have bad things to say about him
Q. I like this guy a lot, we have a great connection, we talk like friends, we have great intellectual conversations too and we have a great sexual attraction BUT he was in high school with some of my now friends. And they have nothing but weird an...
A. 26 August 2020: I think its good that you have friends that are looking out for you. I do however feel that it has got to be your decision on whether you keep seeing him or not.
You say yourself he is different now, older now, and more mature. Although you can ... (read in full...)
Should I continue seeing him even though he lied?
Q. I went on a couple of dates with this guy, we met online. He's a bit older than me, runs a successful company and is handsome. On out dates he was very sweet, considerate and romantic. A really nice guy, who seemed almost too good to be true. For ...
A. 25 August 2020: I would refrain from sending that photo, you know he is a liar. Keep ignoring his calls and texts. I would delete all his contacts details and move on with your life. ... (read in full...)
Should I continue seeing him even though he lied?
Q. I went on a couple of dates with this guy, we met online. He's a bit older than me, runs a successful company and is handsome. On out dates he was very sweet, considerate and romantic. A really nice guy, who seemed almost too good to be true. For ...
A. 25 August 2020: I always think that honesty is the best policy, and i can't understand why he has looked you in the eye and lied about having kids, and a wife, whether he is married or divorced we don't know.
If he said to you he is married, or has been married,... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as right person, wrong time?
Q. I dated this guy for about three months and he ticked all the boxes for me. We were compatible, had everything in common and we had amazing chemistry. I'm usually very picky and don't often feel this way about someone, I've been single for 2 years ...
A. 25 August 2020: You were compatible, and shared amazing chemistry which are signs of the makings of a good relationship.
I think he did the right thing ending things with you, this shows maturity. He knew that if he started a new relationship with you so soon aft... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend but I miss him terribly he was my best friend
Q. I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 7 years. I called off the relationship. Although I am well aware that this breakup has been coming for a year now, I feel I've lost my best friend. He's a great guy; we can talk about anything and everything. ...
A. 20 August 2020: It sounded like you were describing the perfect guy, up to the point when you said the shady things he does.
You can never change someone, and its pointless to even try. When you do try to change someone you are getting them to change to somethin... (read in full...)
I've become obsessed with him. How do I distance myself?
Q. about 2 months ago , I started spending time with someone who I had known about a year, but had never properly spoke . since then we've spend about 4 times with each other and I know that isint a lot and ive become obsessed and attached to him . ...
A. 19 August 2020: The good thing about obsessions, and infatuations, is impermanence, nothing last's forever.
Although it does not feel like it now the emotions that you are currently feeling will lessen and die down naturally of their own accord.
In this scena... (read in full...)
I realize I am in an abusive relationship but don't know what to do
Q. i went on a few days away trip to the coast with my partner but when we got there he was fed up and bored and his personality changed and he became nasty saying he doesnt like going on holidays and moaning about everything. so i left him in the ...
A. 19 August 2020: OP how long have you been in a relationship with this guy?.
This is someone that you could really do with not having in your life. He sounds like a spoilt brat, a not very nice person, and an all round jerk.
You have both been away for what wa... (read in full...)
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