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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Polyurethane condoms?
Q. This is mainly one for the guys, although ladies feel free to chime in too. I have a terrible problem using condoms. I thought I was weird, but after some research, I have discovered that I'm certainly not alone, about 25% of men have the sam...
A. 6 November 2008: LOL!
That's a nice thought but I'm old enough to be your Mother! SO!!! Go to your room! Ha! Bet you haven't heard that in a while! I'm sure that this bothers you a lot more than it bothers any of your partners, BTW. Most women have had expe... (read in full...)
Polyurethane condoms?
Q. This is mainly one for the guys, although ladies feel free to chime in too. I have a terrible problem using condoms. I thought I was weird, but after some research, I have discovered that I'm certainly not alone, about 25% of men have the sam...
A. 6 November 2008: Well, Yes, that's why I laughed! Your writing shows why women like you, you have a good sense of humor! Well, enough flattery, and I'm quite sure if you have the ability to have had a few partners, you would have the finesse to be able to present ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to move in??
Q. I'm not sure what to do.I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend,whose turning 19, a year and a half [on and off] and he wants me to move in with him. The only thing is that he lives with his mom still. I'm not sure if I should move in with him.Any ...
A. 6 November 2008: I'm not sure that moving in with him and his Mom is the same as living together. You really wouldn't be setting up your own home, you'd be living in his mother's house! That's more likely a recipe for a disaster, for most hypothetical ... (read in full...)
Polyurethane condoms?
Q. This is mainly one for the guys, although ladies feel free to chime in too. I have a terrible problem using condoms. I thought I was weird, but after some research, I have discovered that I'm certainly not alone, about 25% of men have the sam...
A. 6 November 2008: Popping a bin liner in! LOL Cowboy!... (read in full...)
Polyurethane condoms?
Q. This is mainly one for the guys, although ladies feel free to chime in too. I have a terrible problem using condoms. I thought I was weird, but after some research, I have discovered that I'm certainly not alone, about 25% of men have the sam...
A. 6 November 2008: Why not ask your partner to use a Femidom or Female Condom instead? You could even buy a supply yourself. It would stop the pain and discomfort that you are feeling and still give you the protection that you would have from a barrier method?
;... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to do it or how to deal with my confidence??
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a month now and we've done stuff together. The problem is, it's always him doing things to me and not the other way around. It's not his fault, it's mine, I just don't know how to do it. I'm sure he'd love ...
A. 6 November 2008: It isn't necessary to take it to the next level if you aren't ready!!! Sex eventually becomes a part of a relationship, but it isn't a requirement at your age. Wait until you ARE emotionally ready! It isn't a lack of confidence on your part, or a ... (read in full...)
I woke up with blood in my underwear, what's going on?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby. I have been noticing my stomach getting bigger and so has he. But Wednesday morning I woke with a bit of blood in my underwear, it only lasted till like now Friday morning at 4:00. Plus it's 19 ...
A. 6 November 2008: Hun,
You need to see a Doctor A.S.A.P. An adult running a temperature for more than 48 hours should always get it checked out my their primary care physician, and while you are there, ask him to do a pregnancy test. Good Luck with everything, Hunn... (read in full...)
My pregnant wife is making me not want to be with her!
Q. well im 21 years old,and my wife is 19.we became parents at an early age.i was 18 and she was 16.ive been married for a year but dating for about 5 years.we have a 2 year old and we have a baby on the way.we really dont have sex and were constantly ...
A. 5 November 2008: I give up? Were part of your Wedding Vows - "and have another female that she doesn't know about for when times get tough." ? Why do you THINK that she is cranky all the time? SHE KNOWS! AND She is pregnant!! While taking care of a toddler!!! ... (read in full...)
Feeling low after ending my affair
Q. Hello all- I am a married mom of 4 and recently broke off a 2 year affair. I have been reading through alot of the post and it seems alot of people are having the same issues. I am just feeling really down in the dumps today. I know its going to be ...
A. 4 November 2008: I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I think that affairs are often like band-aids that are trying to fix a hole in our life, but what they truly are is so insidious. It's a betrayal, it's a lie and it hurts us and everyone around us. That's just ... (read in full...)
I can't believe he stole from my roommate. Should I give him a second chance?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently broke up. The reason we broke up is because I found out he had stolen some money from my roommate. He is a person I believed would never do this but obviously he did. He says it is because he felt like he wasn't providing ...
A. 3 November 2008: What do I think of a person who thinks other people's money is free to take without asking? He is a thief. Who stole from a friend of yours! When he knew that he would cause bad blood between you and your roomate, and he did this anyways, so he ... (read in full...)
She keeps telling me "Nothing is wrong" So should I let it go, or keep pushing?
Q. Ok well me and this girl I have been going out for three years are going good, but I am having trouble knowing when something is wrong. Are there any signs to show that something is wrong because she keeps telling me "nothing is wrong" or "its noth...
A. 3 November 2008: Here's a joke written about women that you might find relevant...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/dear-cupid-this-is-the-kinda-stuff-we.html
It's the short-cut to what women mean, written tongue-in-cheek, but ther IS some truth there!!! ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's family is marrying her off to another guy and I need help to figure out what we can do to avoid this from happening!
Q. Hi, This z raj kapoor please litsen my problem this z very big for me, i know u r use to hear these stories but plz help........ acctualy i m from india and there is in some places very orthodox peaple living and between them there z my girlfriend'...
A. 1 November 2008: Kudos to RCN's answer. I also understand, in your country, that a failed marriage is a terrible hardship on a woman, so I wouldn't think that a loving act is to foist a marriage doomed to fail on one's own family. My husband worked in your country ... (read in full...)
There is a picture of my boyfriend and his ex hugging, on a wall in his parent's home, where he llives. It bugs me, how do I bring it up?
Q. My boyfriend lives with his friends. In their house the is a wall that has all their pictures and stuff. One of the pictures has my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend in it, hugging each other. It is a group picture, my boyfriend didnt put that on ...
A. 1 November 2008: With apologies, the picture is in your friends house and NOT your parents... History is always tough and it's a hard thing to handle graciously. I think I would FIRST make sure that I was a STELLAR influence and then, I would divide and conquer. ... (read in full...)
There is a picture of my boyfriend and his ex hugging, on a wall in his parent's home, where he llives. It bugs me, how do I bring it up?
Q. My boyfriend lives with his friends. In their house the is a wall that has all their pictures and stuff. One of the pictures has my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend in it, hugging each other. It is a group picture, my boyfriend didnt put that on ...
A. 1 November 2008: I'm at the age where my kids are having ex's. Here's what I think you should do. Put up with the photo's. BUT, only until you are engaged, living together or married. Cut the Parents a bit of slack. They are guilty, of taking someone into the ... (read in full...)
Why do some people constantly disrespect others by trying to force their religeous beliefs on them
Q. This is no doubt going to be a controversial topic but here goes: I am an atheist and quite happy with my beliefs. However I quite happily respect and accept everyone else's beliefs nor do I ever disrespect anyone else's beliefs / religions etc by...
A. 31 October 2008: I love that quote Diovan!... (read in full...)
After my divorce, how can I keep close bonds with my son?
Q. My wife of 14 years left me for another man, the divorce was final 8/28/08. She left on 5/2/07 and took our 12 year old son, as I expected. Since then my relationship with my son has deteriorated to the point that we haven't talked in over two ...
A. 30 October 2008: I would call a family meeting with you, your son and his mother about everything that you have been discussing. The psychiatrist meant well, but I'm quite sure that she/he hasn't had a 12 year old boy in the house. I'm afraid they tend to be very ... (read in full...)
My ex insists on coming to me for advice and it's driving me crazy!
Q. Hey. My ex insists on coming to me for advice. He is basically obsessed with my best mate (talk about rubbing salt in the wound),and he never shuts up. so i told him that id find out if she would ever go back with him to shut him up. i know fin...
A. 30 October 2008: The cardinal rule of dating is never date your ex's friends or your friends ex's. Asking for your help with this is just mean and insensitive. We give you permission. The next time he asks, tell him in no uncertain terms to take a long walk off a ... (read in full...)
Why do some people constantly disrespect others by trying to force their religeous beliefs on them
Q. This is no doubt going to be a controversial topic but here goes: I am an atheist and quite happy with my beliefs. However I quite happily respect and accept everyone else's beliefs nor do I ever disrespect anyone else's beliefs / religions etc by...
A. 30 October 2008: I think that is a question of intent. I lost two family members this year, and we are a mixed bag of nuts when it comes to our beliefs. But I wouldn't go so far as to assume that a persons intentions were wrong if they said that they will pray for ... (read in full...)
Dating a friend's ex equals insecurity
Q. I'm dating a fantastic girl right now. We've been good friends for years, we absolutely head over heels for each other, sex life is great, etc. etc. There's just one thing that's causing me a bit of a hangup: she's the ex of a really good friend of ...
A. 30 October 2008: Well, you should knew that you shouldn't have gone there but you went there! AND now, you are both in love! That's really what you should be concentrating on, now that you are committed to each other.
The history is NEVER going to change, so you ... (read in full...)
Are our lives predestined?
Q. We all know that things happen whether they are good or bad.... but do you think that whatever happens to you in your life was supposed to happen to you? I mean is it to teach you a lesson or is it just that things happen? What if it was bad, am I ...
A. 30 October 2008: I have learned more from my failures than from my successes. - Coco Chanel
There isn't anything in life that is certain than death and taxes, so you can pretty much count of life as being in a constant state of change. Even when life deals you a ba... (read in full...)
Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??!
Q. Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??! Theyre so nice when they want sumthing then they discard you like a piece of rubbish. They can be the best boyfriend ever but wont think twice about dumping you for another woman and ...
A. 29 October 2008: You received five great answers from nice guys just in this column alone. So there are plenty of nice guys out there! You just need to get over this rotten jerk and find YOUR nice guy. I'm sure he's out there still! I'm so sorry that you are ... (read in full...)
HE CHOKED ME..THEN BLAMED ME FOR BLACKING OUT
Q. MY BOYFRIEND AND I WERE FIGHTING (VERBALLY) THEN IT GOT REALLY HEATED! HE PUT HIS HAND AROUND MY NECK THE NEXT THING I REMEMBER WAS REALIZING I WAS ON THE FLOOR! WITH NO MEMORY OF FALLING, HOW I GOT THERE, OR ANYTHING..... BUT WHAT MAKES THIS ...
A. 29 October 2008: OH MY GOODNESS! WHY ARE YOU EVEN QUESTIONING THIS? HE'S A MONSTER! LEAVE HIM NOW! YOU MIGHT WAKE UP DEAD THE NEXT TIME!!!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is persistently texting his ex!
Q. My boyfriend is persistently texting his ex all day and probably all night for all I know. We have had our problems in the past and I cheated on him several times but now we have talked through things and he understands that I'm not going to be ...
A. 29 October 2008: What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. He has a right to ask you not to contact anyone because you cheated. YOU have that same right to ask him not to contact his Ex, because it is emotional cheating. They were lovers, NOT FRIENDS. ... (read in full...)
Do women find penises attractive?
Q. Do women find penises attractive? As a guy I know I'd get easily turned on by thinking of vaginas and boobs, but do women think the same way about a man's penis?...
A. 29 October 2008: Just as long as you don't say "Ohh, Yaaa, Baby"...
*boump chichka bouww wowww*
(bad porn music)... (read in full...)
Pointy boobs...
Q. I'm 19 and my breasts are very pointy. I'm worried that I may have tubular breasts/hypomastia. There isn't much fatty/breast tissue under my nipple, nor do i have cleavage (and even with my favorite super push-up bra, i only get mind cleavage ...
A. 29 October 2008: Ha Ha Ha Lance!
Breasts are made of of breast tissue and ducts - the "denser" parts - and also fatty tissue. Trust me, the more fatty tissue you have, the larger they will become. Your boobs my well still gain a bit in the years to come. I thin... (read in full...)
I recently went through my husbands facebook messages and found out he has been flirting with this gal...
Q. Hi I recently went through my husbands facebook messages and found out he has been flirting with this gal for a long time. It really upset me because the things he was saying to her were too deep for me. I confronted him and he says everyone...
A. 28 October 2008: That was a brilliant answer, Fade. I personally know of two marriages that have become victims to internet affairs. The fact is that they are probably in their next relationships, ignoring each other in the same room and running off to the net ... (read in full...)
How to handle crushes on guys 'out of your league'?
Q. What to do when you have crushes on men that are far above your head and wouldn't like you anyways?...
A. 28 October 2008: I think men are always attracted to women who adore them. It has a tendency to shine right through and attract a man right back!... (read in full...)
Should I make my own porn video for my husband and give it to him?
Q. been with my hubby for 25 years, we were high school sweethearts. Recently I've been thinking about sleeping with my friend, who is a female, and is married herself for about the same time. I've allways wondered what it would be like to sleep wi...
A. 28 October 2008: Your response sounded like you have a LOT of anger and resentment towards your husband, and his habits. Those are two huge red flags for a marriage. It sounds like your marriage could use a lot more help and reflection than what you were ... (read in full...)
Should I make my own porn video for my husband and give it to him?
Q. been with my hubby for 25 years, we were high school sweethearts. Recently I've been thinking about sleeping with my friend, who is a female, and is married herself for about the same time. I've allways wondered what it would be like to sleep wi...
A. 28 October 2008: I think that this whole thing might backfire on you. Guys like it as a fantasy, not in reality. That's what porn is. Having his wife sleeping with on friend, caught on tape, would probably arouse the wrong sleeping beast. Sorry, this answer is ... (read in full...)
Time is running out....what can I do?!!
Q. I have been talking to a girl from America for about 6 months. Around 4 months ago, we started to flirt with one another. Since, she has made plans for us to meet eachother before christmas. The only problem is, I have a girlfriend now! How can I ...
A. 27 October 2008: You have to tell her now that you are involved with someone else, incase she has booked tickets that she needs to cancel. Just be honest with her and break the news as soon as possible. AND, Ahem, You probably shouldn't have been still chatting ... (read in full...)
What is causing my eyes and lips to burn?
Q. do you know what std(s) causes a person's lips and eyes to burn very badly every three days after sex or intimacy?or you could even call it stinging without any bumps or sores?that's how bad it really is.sometimes i cry from how bad the burning ...
A. 27 October 2008: Have you asked your partner if there is anything that you need to be worried about? This is never an easy conversation to have, but you have to ask these questions in order for you to take charge of your own health. Just like using a condom each ... (read in full...)
Do men mean it when they say "I love you"?
Q. While we were laying in bed the other night, he told me he had something he wanted to tell me. I got nervous and thought it was something bad, but it wasn't he said I love you. And I believe he meant it because men don't say the three words if they ...
A. 27 October 2008: AWwwhhh! That was a lovely thing to read! I think that it took a lot of courage and he finally said it, because he REALLY meant it, and Lucky You! XXX... (read in full...)
I was wondering if agony aunts get paid?
Q. could you please tell me do agony aunts get paid or is it a service they provide for free,thank you....
A. 27 October 2008: Oh, Here you are Bugsie!
I got lost! It must be that Momzheimers again, or Mentalpause.
Is this where you pick up the checks?
XXX... (read in full...)
Girls/ Woman, When should I pop the question????
Q. I have been seeing my girlfriend for 18 months now and we are in love : ) I want to propose to her because I know she's the one. I have a plan all worked out, I'm going to put 'You Are So Beautiful' on by Joe Cocker (I think that sums her up and how ...
A. 27 October 2008: Ahem, Did I forget to mention? We also have a child born close to Christmas and another child born close to Thanksgiving, so we really know what it is like to have a personal special occasion close to another holiday. My children have mentioned ... (read in full...)
Girls/ Woman, When should I pop the question????
Q. I have been seeing my girlfriend for 18 months now and we are in love : ) I want to propose to her because I know she's the one. I have a plan all worked out, I'm going to put 'You Are So Beautiful' on by Joe Cocker (I think that sums her up and how ...
A. 27 October 2008: Hi!
My Husband and I have birthdays three days apart, and things often get lost (such as a banner year, say 30th, or W/E) or are overlooked because of the lack of space between our birthdays, but WE obviously didn't have any choice in the matt... (read in full...)
Is it harmful for me that he sucks my nipples during sex?
Q. I Just married women my husband is very understandable he makes me happy during sex but i m confused about one point, that he is suking my nipples {not bite} he want to make me happy but is this right?I Like it too but little bit confused that it i...
A. 27 October 2008: It's a normal part of foreplay and it actually DOES become quite relevant and helpful after childbirth. If you are planning on becoming pregnant eventually, I remember in childbirthing class being told that "foreplay with your nipples during sex ... (read in full...)
Do women find penises attractive?
Q. Do women find penises attractive? As a guy I know I'd get easily turned on by thinking of vaginas and boobs, but do women think the same way about a man's penis?...
A. 27 October 2008: I'm not sure that I would say that my first reaction, on encountering a penis, was that of attraction, I was far more taken with the wonders of a man's eyes, his lips and his glorious hands. BUT, I was certainly curious about it. After lengthy ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals from him and I'm getting sick of this. Any ideas on what made him change his persona on both occasions?
Q. I work at a local theme park. Over the course of the summer I have become friendly with Mike. Two weekends ago we worked side by side all night. He was very flirty and nice. He gave me his hand warmers and placed one on my forhead. He asked me about ...
A. 22 October 2008: Well, the incident where he was annoyed after ALL the guys flirted and hugged you was a pretty clear sign that he likes you. He may or may not like the way you are when you hang out with your girlfriend and act silly, but most guys can act that way ... (read in full...)
Does she only want him because I've got him?
Q. I recently starting seeing someone who has an ex girlfriend. Mark broke up with her and she was alittle upset but nothing big, they were still going to be friends. But now she found out about me and she is pissed. She has come over to my house ...
A. 22 October 2008: That is very odd behavior for a woman in this age group... If I were you, I would let him handle her and stay far away. She sounds like she is playing with a few cards short of a full deck.... (read in full...)
I'm 23 and I'm meeting my new date who is 42, tonight. Any advice?
Q. Hi guys a bit of help hear, My ex bf just rang me to say that one of his and his new partners mates wants to meet me, ive said yes and agreed to meet me on my own in a public place, m ex is 28 and the guy im meeting 2nite is 42 where im 23 is there...
A. 22 October 2008: I agree with Daniel, the 5 year gap that you had with your ex isn't bad, 10 years isn't too much, but 20 is a whole generation apart. There are happy exceptions to every rule, but the majority of couples are closer in age for a good reason.... (read in full...)
I'm 23 and I'm meeting my new date who is 42, tonight. Any advice?
Q. Hi guys a bit of help hear, My ex bf just rang me to say that one of his and his new partners mates wants to meet me, ive said yes and agreed to meet me on my own in a public place, m ex is 28 and the guy im meeting 2nite is 42 where im 23 is there...
A. 22 October 2008: Okay, so here goes nothing. A blind date with a guy who is 20 years older than you? Okay.
I have a 23 year old daughter, and I know for a fact that she would not date a man this age, because it's just plain creepy, AND she knows for a fact that... (read in full...)
Why are my periods so out of whack? Am I pregnant?
Q. ok, i am starting to be really confused and this story is getting longer and longer. my husband and i have been married for 5 years....2 children. our youngest is 2.5yrs old. any way...aug.4th/08 i had a regular period that lasted 6-7 days...f...
A. 22 October 2008: There are so many different reasons why this could be happening, but none of us are Doctors. You need a good OB/GYN and you need to take a list of all of your concerns to him. You should probably have a physical and a blood panel done to check ... (read in full...)
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