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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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This girl has an eye on my boyfriend, I am trying not to be jealous, but I am hearing rumors that he is cheating on me, should I be concerned?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for four years and I love him to death. However, to make a long story short, he gave another girl "yellow" roses around christmas time because her grandmother died. It was obvious she had an "attraction" to him. My first ...
A. 20 July 2008: Although eventually, I became the favorite daughter-in-law, my mother-in-law was quite a witch. My husband had 2 brothers and she put the first 2 DIL's through hell. When I was dating my hubbie, he was working and putting himself thru Uni. He was ... (read in full...)
My husband talks with his female internet friend, for three hours at a time, I am troubled by this, he say it's nothing, am I over reacting?
Q. Husband has internet friendship with female - I am very confused about his new friend he has found in a chat room. He says he has the right to have any friend he wants including a female who is single. He says it is nothing and he is just a cha...
A. 18 July 2008: I'm sorry, Hun. A "friend" is someone that you go bowling with, that you can bring home, that you can introduce to the wife and kids. This is obviously not a friend. I'm sorry, but I think you are doing the right thing and that your counselor is ... (read in full...)
My husband talks with his female internet friend, for three hours at a time, I am troubled by this, he say it's nothing, am I over reacting?
Q. Husband has internet friendship with female - I am very confused about his new friend he has found in a chat room. He says he has the right to have any friend he wants including a female who is single. He says it is nothing and he is just a cha...
A. 18 July 2008: I'm sorry, Hun. A "friend" is someone that you go bowling with, that you can bring home, that you can introduce to the wife and kids. This is obviously not a friend. I'm sorry, but I think you are doing the right thing and that your counselor is ... (read in full...)
How dangerous is breathing in helium?
Q. Hello, this is a weird question but is it real dangerous to breathe in helium from a balloon? Me an my friends did it for a laff but i read on the internet that it can make you really ill. Plz help, i'm worried now. x.x.x.x....
A. 16 July 2008: That could just be anxiety, Hunny!... (read in full...)
My mum and dad have been arguing, and my mum said she hates me. I don't know what to do and I need advice.
Q. I am an 8 year old boy from Cupar in Fife in Scotland. My mum and dad have been not really been getting on well and they have had some bad arguments. One day my mum got very annoyed with my big brother for putting a towel in with the dirty clothes. ...
A. 16 July 2008: I'll bet that your Mum's Mum said that to your Mum when she was a little girl at some point, Hun... Your Gran loves you, but she doesn't have the responsibility to look out for you and your siblings 24/7, so it's a different kind of love! Your Mum ... (read in full...)
How can I be strong enough to break up with him when he cries?
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend but I'm not sure how. He's controlling and quite smothering, and I don't want to break up in person. I have tried before and he cries uncontrollably and begs me to give him more chances etc, and I find it ve...
A. 16 July 2008: Yes, sometimes it's just as hard to be the person that does the breaking up, isn't it? You do know that being guilted into staying isn't a big enough bond to keep this relationship going, right? The tears and the emoting that he is pulling is ... (read in full...)
This girl has an eye on my boyfriend, I am trying not to be jealous, but I am hearing rumors that he is cheating on me, should I be concerned?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for four years and I love him to death. However, to make a long story short, he gave another girl "yellow" roses around christmas time because her grandmother died. It was obvious she had an "attraction" to him. My first ...
A. 16 July 2008: No, He is making a fool out of you. Put your foot down. You do have the right to tell your BF not to see other girls. He has been DELIBERATELY obtuse and pulling the wool over your eyes for his own benefits. Not letting you know that the girl ... (read in full...)
My husband talks with his female internet friend, for three hours at a time, I am troubled by this, he say it's nothing, am I over reacting?
Q. Husband has internet friendship with female - I am very confused about his new friend he has found in a chat room. He says he has the right to have any friend he wants including a female who is single. He says it is nothing and he is just a cha...
A. 16 July 2008: Honey,
Pack your bags.
He doesn't have a clue what he is talking about. Of course he is wrong. Husbands are not supposed to have emotional affairs with coworkers or internet single women. He is confusing his right to privacy with his right to... (read in full...)
I am a 27 year old virgin, when I date men and they find out, they back off, thinking something is wrong, what do I do to combat this?
Q. Hello everyone. I don't know how to write what I want to without sounding like a complete loser. lol. Well, the thing is that till date, I have had only short-term relationships, the longest of which was perhaps 4 months. And because I did...
A. 16 July 2008: I can't help but think that to someone out there, this won't be a problem. There are lots of men and women who lose their virginity later, that it a fact. We have people post on the subject more often than you would think. I just think that you ... (read in full...)
Help me!! I'm in a panic about our wedding reception finances!
Q. oh sombody please help! were in a bit of a panik regarding our wedding reception. Ok My fiance and I have worked so hard since february to be able to afford our reception,we have saved with the credit union every week without fail so we would...
A. 16 July 2008: The ONLY thing that you have to pay for is the venue, unless you know someone who has a home that seats 85 for dinner... Tell the venue that you wish to rent only the room and have the tables set. You'll need to check if this can be done, and what ... (read in full...)
He seems committed but won't give me any assurances....
Q. Hoping for some good advice here. I have been with my boyfriend a year now , and still no words of love have come from him. He’s very loving and affectionate but I don’t think he’s in love with me. He tells me Im beautiful and sexy etc and als...
A. 16 July 2008: Well, you have tried you best to tell him everything that you are feeling and he hasn't really responded to you in a way that gives you any hope for having a future together. I think that you should set a deadline, in your own mind, for allowing ... (read in full...)
What are the principle characteristics, that women like in their choice of a dating partner, please be as honest as possible?
Q. I´m 23 years old. I`ve had my share of bad luck in love. I´m afraid I´ve been labled a boring 2nd choice when it comes to dating. I want the female readers to be very honest when they answer. What are the principal characteristics that would make a ...
A. 16 July 2008: It's pressing onto midnight here in old Chicago. You will have to forgive Miss Numnums for the reference of three women in a baked beans and/or mud fight. Danielsan and Honorable poster, the Aunties get a wee bit wound up at times, but please be ... (read in full...)
What are the principle characteristics, that women like in their choice of a dating partner, please be as honest as possible?
Q. I´m 23 years old. I`ve had my share of bad luck in love. I´m afraid I´ve been labled a boring 2nd choice when it comes to dating. I want the female readers to be very honest when they answer. What are the principal characteristics that would make a ...
A. 16 July 2008: I think we need either baked beans or mud in order to keep Daniel entertained...... (read in full...)
I lashed out at my son...how can I apologize?
Q. I'm really upset and don't know what to do, i just came home from work to find that my seven year old son had left his bikes outside after repeadedly telling him to bring them in when he is finished riding, and one of them ( mongoose) was stolen ...
A. 16 July 2008: Don't Wake Him!
I know that you are feeling bad, honey. Don't wake him up and ruin his sleep to make yourself feel better. You know, you weren't entirely in left field when you yelled and told him off. You did give him instructions to do a job.... (read in full...)
What are the principle characteristics, that women like in their choice of a dating partner, please be as honest as possible?
Q. I´m 23 years old. I`ve had my share of bad luck in love. I´m afraid I´ve been labled a boring 2nd choice when it comes to dating. I want the female readers to be very honest when they answer. What are the principal characteristics that would make a ...
A. 16 July 2008: Wait a minute...
MY guy travels all the time...
EVERY WEEK in fact...
Where EXACTLY do you Live Tisha???
Don't make me come over there!!!
CAT FIGHT!
Meowrhhh!!! Sssppt!!!! Ssspttt!!!! Sppttttt!!!!... (read in full...)
What are the principle characteristics, that women like in their choice of a dating partner, please be as honest as possible?
Q. I´m 23 years old. I`ve had my share of bad luck in love. I´m afraid I´ve been labled a boring 2nd choice when it comes to dating. I want the female readers to be very honest when they answer. What are the principal characteristics that would make a ...
A. 16 July 2008: These are the things that attracted me to my guy:
1. A man with a Strong Sense of Loyalty.
2. A man that has a Dry, Witty Sense of Humour.
3. A man that has Sense of Confidence about himself.
4. A man who is strong and is proud of his athletic ... (read in full...)
In a long distance relationship, I loved him, he cheated on me, and verbally abused me, I fell out of love, he moved close to me, I want to break up completely, he has no one here but me, should I break up and when ?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship. I live in Wales while my boyfriend lives in London (he is at university). I don't think our relationship has a future. We are on a break because he cheated on me and lied to me and abused me verbally, and on...
A. 16 July 2008: I would be the first person to tell you that you should be by his side if I though that you a least owed him that much.
You don't owe him a thing.
He cheated, he lied, he verbally abused you and it was his decision to relocate next to you after tr... (read in full...)
My sister recently died from cancer, and now I have become very popular, and a guy wants to date me, what is going on?
Q. My sister just died from cancer a week ago. Now I'm like Ms. Popularity. All the popular girls want me to be there friend and even one of the (cute) jocks ask me out (I say yes). Before my sis died I isn't very popular. Whats up with everyone? ...
A. 16 July 2008: Well, I think that they are being very nice to you because they are all so terribly sorry that you lost your sister. It's obvious that they want you to feel better because this did coincide with your sister's passing. I'm sure that they are doing ... (read in full...)
I'm clueless! I asked a girl out and couldn't believe she said yes! Now what do I do?
Q. Hi there, I recently asked a girl out and I couldn't beleive it when she said yes. However, I don't know where to take her or what to do (I'm clueless!) So women, what would you want to do and where would you want a guy to take you on a firs...
A. 16 July 2008: The aquarium and then sushi! I love that, India!!!... (read in full...)
Stuck between my wife and daughter and going insane. Please help.
Q. Oh God, where do I start.....I am sorry to bore you all with my problem but I just reached the end of the road trying to mediate between my daughter who is 16 and my wife. I dont know what to do anymore. I have been married for a year and been wi...
A. 16 July 2008: If I were you, I'd allow them to read this letter. They are both so self-involved, they probably don't have a clue that you feel this way about the situation. You should probably consider family counseling from the sounds of it. This situation ... (read in full...)
How dangerous is breathing in helium?
Q. Hello, this is a weird question but is it real dangerous to breathe in helium from a balloon? Me an my friends did it for a laff but i read on the internet that it can make you really ill. Plz help, i'm worried now. x.x.x.x....
A. 15 July 2008: It's not a big problem if it is done only once or twice. The effects can leave you feeling dizzy or even make you pass out, but this is a highly unusual response. I understand that it is a bit riskier for anyone who already has breathing problems, ... (read in full...)
Does an abortion hurt under local anaesthetic?
Q. i'm 16 and i've just found out that i am 8 weeks pregnant. I know without a doubt that I am going to have an abortion, my mind is made up about that one. I just want to know what the least painful method of abortion is as i'm terrified of general ...
A. 15 July 2008: No, Hunnie,
They don't hurt under a local anaesthetic. You may be aware of some movement down there, but there won't be any pain. You will probably feel some cramping afterwards, but it will feel like your period. They will probably give you a bi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hits me. I need help but I can't get it
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We had a very very different relationship. We were always fine, we argued alot but never anything more really. He is bipolar, very badly. He lives with his mom. He has been to a councelor but stopped ...
A. 15 July 2008: Honey,
You know the part in the safety demontrations on aircrafts where they tell you about the oxygen masks? They always tell you to put it on YOURSELF first, even if you have a child with you, because you are the responsible adult in char... (read in full...)
Asexual? I'm rarely interested, and when I am I get rejected.
Q. I'm 24, M, hetero, virgin, and have never dated anyone romantically in my life. I'm rarely interested in other people, and when I am...I am usually rejected. Nobody I am interested in has ever been interested in me. I'm pretty successful for m...
A. 15 July 2008: Hi Hun,
I think that most women do like a confident man! Although you are sucessful, you do not seem to have a lot of confidence in yourself. Don't be so hung up on looks. I'm sure that you can think of plenty of example of men who aren't Geor... (read in full...)
I'm clueless! I asked a girl out and couldn't believe she said yes! Now what do I do?
Q. Hi there, I recently asked a girl out and I couldn't beleive it when she said yes. However, I don't know where to take her or what to do (I'm clueless!) So women, what would you want to do and where would you want a guy to take you on a firs...
A. 15 July 2008: I think a dinner club of some kind or other, one that serves dinner with a show, kind of takes the pressure off. Perhaps a comedy club? That way, there is something to talk about and there is something to entertain you both as well. Or a casual ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how I can deal with this crisis of self-confidence?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend which hurt me a lot but I was very lucky to find a really nice guy right afterwards. I like him a lot, but he just makes me feel so insecure that I'm having a really hard time being with him. I'm really sma...
A. 15 July 2008: I think louxxlouxx's advice was right on the money!
Perhap's the fact that you have never dated or have been friends with people who make more money than you or have better jobs than you has triggered this insecurity in you and created this conf... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to him? I don't know if I want to.
Q. my boyfriend loves me (and i know he does) and i love him too, i'ts just, he is not a virgin, but i am. He wants to have sex, but i dont know if i want to tho. I dont know if he wants me for my body or for me. I just dont know if i should give my ...
A. 15 July 2008: You are FAR too young for sex. That's not a challenge. Sex is for making babies, and not just an activity to do with your BF. Your hips probably couldn't even pass a child through yet!!! Do you not understand how serious sex is?
You shou... (read in full...)
Seriously - Would you cheat with a celebrity if it was safe?
Q. i need serious answers. Married or single women - if you could sleep with any hot celebrity you wanted to and there was no way in the world you could get caught would you cheat on your husband or boyfriend? Serious answers only please....
A. 14 July 2008: Is this a question like on "Friends" where you have a list of five people that either you or your spouse can be with if the remote chance of a sexual liason did present itself? I'm sure the whole idea is just a coffee table game that people play ... (read in full...)
I have an incontinence (lacking voluntary control over urination) during sex, medications so far did not help, please advise?
Q. hello everyone i need your help. i have an incontinence or an involuntary leakage of urine condition when i have sex which lasts for 4 - 5 hours. i went to doctors most of them said that they can't give medication because the condition is not per...
A. 14 July 2008: 4 -5 hours? My Goodness! That's a long time to have sex for. Is this part of the problem? Perhaps you should have shorter sessions in the sack? That is quite a bit longer than most sessions. The only advice that I can think of is are you ... (read in full...)
I'm married. Would one afternoon of extra-martial passion be THAT wrong?
Q. I've been married nine years and have kids. Sex is not as adventurous as I'd like but things are fine. Better than fine. I Iove my wife and enjoy a wonderful family life. Then I go and get drunk at a conference and have some sexy action with a woman ...
A. 14 July 2008: Well, you are writing into a website anonymously to try to talk yourself out of feeling guilty about breaking your vows and rationalizing and considering justifying starting an affair with a woman who is ALSO breaking her vows... Have I left ... (read in full...)
I am seriously addicted to big breasts...
Q. I am seriously addicted to very huge breasts (silicone or natural)...cant get enough of them...every night (if i am at home), i have to watch a couple of movies with huge breasted women and masturbate..my day would be weird if i didn't see something ...
A. 14 July 2008: Judging by publications and movies dedicated to this area, No, you certainly aren't alone in this! Most men have a preference for a particular body part, so I wouldn't wrry about it!... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have sex five times in two days?
Q. The only time I get to spend with my boyfriend is on the weekend. We live far away and we work on the weekdays. We’re both in our late 20s so we are not little kids. Is it normal to have sex 5 times over 2 days? It feels like we’re making ...
A. 14 July 2008: Sounds like a stellar weekend! Better than going to Six Flags!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to move in but won't get engaged!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. He’s 27 and I’m 25. We love each other and we both know that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We currently don’t live together because we live 2 hours away and have our own careers ...
A. 14 July 2008: Wow, He has no problem with committing to anything that isn't going to happen for at least five years or anything that involves him moving out of his own city. He has problems about committing to anything that changes his life, however. As long as ... (read in full...)
I could use some advice before he drives me completely nuts! Is he stringing me along?
Q. I am [or should say, was] with a highly oversensitive and passive-agressive guy for several months. It got very serious fairly quickly, and stayed that way until I mentioned that I hated someone he was close to, and a week or two later said ...
A. 14 July 2008: Why are you hanging on to the thought of continuing an on-again-off-again relationship with a guy who is obviously driving you bonkers?
Oh, wait, Are you guys already married?
Sorry... Cheap joke.
Okay. Ya, Sorry. If a relationship... (read in full...)
We're ready to have sex, I'm not sure what to do, and I'm worried about my penis? help me!
Q. Ok then this is really wierd for me to be putting this here but it feels like I need answers for my question than other peoples. Ok so I am quite literary really scared of sex i've never done it before, I have a gf and i'm 18 and she's 17 and she...
A. 12 July 2008: Oh Sweetums,
This sounds a lot like the ages when my hubbie and I first did it 35 years ago... AND EWWH! LOL!
It is possible to find someone and stick through it all, even at your age. Don't worry, we are all worried and scared about our bodi... (read in full...)
Why does he want time to be alone? And why so suddenly? Should I be worried?
Q. Okay this is a long story. I have a very wonderful man in my life and in August it will be a year. We're technically engaged but I don't know about that just yet. He's always been somewhat of a loner but we hang out 5 out of 7 days a week. It used ...
A. 11 July 2008: I think that what he said to you about "if there was a problem with the relationship, that he would tell you" is the statement that stuck out here for me, so it sounds like he really loves you. How lucky are You!
BUT, having said that, girl, you ... (read in full...)
Does my flat nose make me unacceptable?
Q. 1.How do you think of a woman who has a flat nose ? 2.Will the man loves a woman with a flat nose? 3.Is it that women who has a flat nose can't be good temperament and succesful? 4.Is a straight nose so important to a woman's beauty? ...
A. 11 July 2008: I have a friend who was always hung up about her nose. The fact was, she was a beautiful girl, and very bubbly and vivacious. If we went out together, most of the men around her were drawn to her because of this. I think that men are drawn to a ... (read in full...)
Could this stunt help warm things up between us?
Q. Dated a girl long distance for a couple months, got rejected. I kept trying for a little while, but my advances were rejected... I'd rather not pursue her much longer and become too annoying. BUT, I had thoughts of sending her a singing dwarf ...
A. 11 July 2008: Or creep her out...
Yeah, No. If she is at all socially awkward and doesn't know how to deal with a little person or hasn't got the same sense of humor as you, this could be a big turn off or backfire big time. I know that guys always think that... (read in full...)
How do I get a job?
Q. Hey.. I've recently lost all the energy to do anything with my life. However, I got back from a trip visiting some friends for a week one week ago, and that was good. So now I'm just trying to work out my next step. I need to get a job and b...
A. 11 July 2008: Sure!
There are plenty of website to tell you how to prepare a CV. Make sure that you have two or three references, job OR character, that a potential employer could call. Run your CV by as many people that you trust and respect in order to do a... (read in full...)
What shape of mouth is most pleasing to European men?
Q. Do most Europe man likes a woman with a big mouth or a cherry mouth ? In my opionion ,most men in China likes a girl with a cherry mouth ,because it accord with the aesthetics in China. And I know that a world-famous model called LuYan ...
A. 11 July 2008: In the Western World, most men like a mouth that's not asking them -
"What are you thinking about, Honey?"
or telling them to take out the garbage... LOL!... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend is always trying to make me jealous, sad, hurt my feelings!
Q. OK, i have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 years now. We are high school Lovers. Are relationship has been really good. Until about a year ago. She cheated on me 2 times. And im the guy whos been faithful about this relationship in the past 6 ...
A. 11 July 2008: BTW - Did you think that this was acceptable because she cheated on you? Two wrongs still don't make a right. Not cool, and she won't think so either. Either break up with someone who has done you wrong, but don't keep them and then publicly ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend is always trying to make me jealous, sad, hurt my feelings!
Q. OK, i have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 years now. We are high school Lovers. Are relationship has been really good. Until about a year ago. She cheated on me 2 times. And im the guy whos been faithful about this relationship in the past 6 ...
A. 11 July 2008: A-hem! It wasn't your ass and you didn't have the right to post a pic of it, Hunnie! That's not cool! People's private parts belong to themselves, even if you have pictures of them, even if you are in a relationship with them! Very, very not ... (read in full...)
I was very controlling but not anymore, how can I prove to my ex that I've changed?
Q. ok everyone look I just got out of a 3 year relationship it was my fault I was a very controlling person I'm not any more but still can anyone just give me any tips how to not be so controlling so I can add to what Ive already learned? if any one ...
A. 10 July 2008: I don't think that you can prove it by telling her, only your actions can prove it. If she has broken up with you and has asked for you not to contact her, I would respect her wishes. Otherwise, give her as much space as she needs and don't ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to use my friend to get information from the boy I like?
Q. I'm not sure about this. I was wondering if it was wrong to use my friend to get information from the boy I like. She knows I like him, and that i have a hard time talking to him. So i ask her to ask him the questions I want to know and she does...
A. 10 July 2008: The boy that you like may be under the impression that you friend is the one that likes him! He may also grow to like her, because she is the one spending time and appearing interested in him! Those are the only drawbacks that I can think of in ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's ex trying to come between us, text message is worrying me, is there more here, or should I trust him?
Q. i need all the help i can get right now my boyfriends ex is trying 2 b friends with me hahaha funny why wood i want 2 b friends with her in the first place whn me n him dated the first time she was the one tht broke us up ahhh i want to talk 2 my bf ...
A. 10 July 2008: Have pity on all us poor old Aunties who don't text when you write in, Hunnie! I hope that I have understood half of what you have written!
You have GOT to put your foot down and talk this out with your boyfriend. You have to have two things in a... (read in full...)
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