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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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My parents think it's wrong for me to date a black guy, is this racist?
Q. My mom and dad are soo protective. i like this black guy...alot and he likes me. but my parents think it is wrong for a white girl to date a black boy. i think thats racsism. but me and this boy have been talking for a year and we tell each other ...
A. 14 September 2008: Rent the movie "Guess who is coming to dinner". Your parents are at the beginning of the movie, they haven't gotten to the end of the movie yet. The difference is that at least THAT couple weren't hiding their relationship from their parents, even ... (read in full...)
My parents think it's wrong for me to date a black guy, is this racist?
Q. My mom and dad are soo protective. i like this black guy...alot and he likes me. but my parents think it is wrong for a white girl to date a black boy. i think thats racsism. but me and this boy have been talking for a year and we tell each other ...
A. 14 September 2008: No Hunnie,
It's not wrong to date outside your race, but your parents do expect you to listen to them and respect them while you are under their roof. Unless you have heard them say other things about black people, I suspect that they are doin... (read in full...)
How many sex partners is too many??
Q. I guess what I want to know is what is the average number of people someone my age (22) has been with? I know its different for everyone and Ill get answers saying whatever is right for me. Im just curious is all. I've been with 12, which I ...
A. 13 September 2008: There are plenty of websites to check out with numbers and figures. I think that when the numbers get THAT high, 79, you have to start questioning how he regards sex, women and fidelity and if he is the kind of guy who has something to prove, like ... (read in full...)
Been with him since his divorce and he is treating me like crap and doesn't want us to have a baby, how can I convince him?
Q. i was dating a quy he is 42 and i am 32 he says he is too old to have a child i have known him since i was 18 i dated him while he was marriend for 2 years and then she found out about us and he went back to her so i told him not to come back into ...
A. 11 September 2008: Why on earth would you want to have a baby with someone who treats you like crap? Babies don't fix marriages or relationships, they don't act like cement and keep people together or fix what is broken. You will be doing a great disservice to your ... (read in full...)
How do I initiate things with his more mature, older brother?
Q. i started casually hooking up with this guy about a month ago nothing too serious, i guess we both kinda got feelings so we started hanging out more and getting closer (i met him within my large group of guy friends) but last night we had sex and ...
A. 10 September 2008: Yesssss...
Well, then. Perhaps it was that he sensed you "weren't that into him" or that He might have been afraid that you might Judge him, but of course, You are a much bigger person than that... Just think, Wouldn't it be grand if you and his ... (read in full...)
When a man is aroused by a sex scene in movies or porn, is it due to the beauty of the woman or the act of sex?
Q. When a man is aroused by a sex scene in a movie or a porno, is it because of the amazing beauty of the individual woman or the act of sex itself? Thanks....
A. 8 September 2008: Yes, yes, yes, Yes, Oh My God and YES!
Sorry, I got carried away with myself.... (read in full...)
Little things (not vulgar) to turn him on, in and outside the bedroom?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of a year have been having sex now for a bout 4 / 5 months. I was just wondering, whats a big turn on for a guy. Is he enjoying it when after sex sometimes, he turns over does he not like it. What could make the sex more ...
A. 8 September 2008: Keep your panties on! Don't get your knickers in a twist! Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!
Oh NO!!! Wait!!! That wasn't our advice at all...
8-D... (read in full...)
Little things (not vulgar) to turn him on, in and outside the bedroom?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of a year have been having sex now for a bout 4 / 5 months. I was just wondering, whats a big turn on for a guy. Is he enjoying it when after sex sometimes, he turns over does he not like it. What could make the sex more ...
A. 2 September 2008: Great minds think alike!... (read in full...)
Little things (not vulgar) to turn him on, in and outside the bedroom?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of a year have been having sex now for a bout 4 / 5 months. I was just wondering, whats a big turn on for a guy. Is he enjoying it when after sex sometimes, he turns over does he not like it. What could make the sex more ...
A. 1 September 2008: I totally agree with anon about the fact that his behavior is very typical. Men crash after sex. SO, Never ask "What are you thinking?" and expect a conversation after sex!
I love waiting until just before we get to a part... (read in full...)
My wife thinks we should terminate the pregnancy because we still haven't had a wedding dinner. Please advise!
Q. i have ROM in Jan 2008 but have yet to have wedding dinner due to the death of my dad. Recently my wife was pregnant and she don't know if we should keep the baby as she is afraid that her dad will be very furious as we have yet to have the wedding ...
A. 31 August 2008: Under these circumstances, I think that your wife might have serious regrets if she aborts the baby, at some point in the future, possibly when she gives birth to your firstborn. You may have a few problems with timing, but a baby is usually a ... (read in full...)
What do you think about the websites where you meet people that you knew in high school?
Q. I know that chatrooms and social networking sites can be dangerous places to meet people off, but is it wrong to use a social networking site as a type of "FriendsReunited"-type website and meet people you used to know in high ...
A. 31 August 2008: I think that it can be fun when you catch up with old friends. It's just another venue that makes it easy to do just that. I do still use the site that put me in touch and keep my OWN e-mail to myself, however. Call me a skeptic, but I personally ... (read in full...)
I'm into animal erotica. Can anyone answer questions on "fish" sex?
Q. Hey, Im kind of new with this.So anyway, Im a 39 year old female, Im overweight, lonley, and I need to get my freak on, Im so used to my 9-5 shifts anyway Laitly Ive been turned on by animal erotica, I had a moment when I was 10 with a dog that Ill ...
A. 26 August 2008: Hi Hun,
There is a website called Zetacreations. You can find it by googling animal dildos. They actually have a section on marine mammals, so you could have your own personal fish penis and not harm a living creature! It would seem to fit your... (read in full...)
I'm 18, seeing a 16 year old... is it wrong?
Q. I am 18 and i am seeing a 16 yr old he is 17 soon but my parents think this is wrong and make me look immature. i dont no what to do . we both really like each other. please help me . i cant let go of him . i need to no if i am in the wrong. ...
A. 4 August 2008: If you are within a year and a half of each other at your age, then NO, you are not out of the appropriate age groups, in most people's eyes - I'm quite sure of that. The more important question, that should matter to you, is why do you like him? ... (read in full...)
Do men find strectch marks a turn off in women?
Q. Hi, This is one for the guys: Do you find stretch marks a turn off on a woman?...
A. 31 July 2008: There's a great exchange about stretch marks in the movie "Shirley Valentine". After sleeping on a first date with a Greek sailor, He is rhapsodizing about how she should "Appreciate her stretch marks" ...because "They show that you are alive, That ... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my children... any idea what to do, and what legal actions can I take?
Q. so here is the situation my kids live in another state with there dad, MY X boyfriend. I left in order to get my life together. Before I left I was not able to see my kids he would give me ultimatums like sleep with me or you can't see your kids, ...
A. 25 July 2008: If you have your act together now, and he doesn't, shouldn't you try to get full custody?
Keep a journal, with dates, and a record of every phone call, every interaction, and especially every act of intimidation and all of the payments that you ... (read in full...)
Can you masturbate if your hymen hasn't been broken
Q. can you masturbate if your hymen hasnt been broken...
A. 24 July 2008: In some cultures, the presence of a hymen is the proof of virginity, but in the western world, most people think that the introduction of a penis into the vagina is THE definition of losing your virginity. So, unless you have a family background ... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife is bisexual?
Q. Hi we are couple in our mid 40 and have had our ups and downs. we are currently in a down time and things get tense. we have had a very active sex lfe and tried most things over the past 25 years. my wife has a great body and as always looked ...
A. 23 July 2008: I think that if your wife was considering cheating on you or straying, she would NOT have told you about her bi-curious feelings that she experienced. I have to say, I would rather a total stranger wax me, personally. No one but my husband sees my ... (read in full...)
He's never in the mood for sex any more. Is there any way to fix this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years. The first eleven months he lived in a different state and we stayed together through phone and internet but then he moved to live closer to me. Well, I, at that point, was seventeen an...
A. 22 July 2008: It's very unusual that a thirty year old man would lose his desire for a young sexual partner in less than a year. I suspect there are other problems, perhaps with his job? The age gap is a big big, and the fact that you were 17 when you met him ... (read in full...)
He wants to stop seeing me because I will not commit to a relationship. I don't want him to go.
Q. I a 28 years old and have been in and out of relationships since i was 14 but i can't seem to settle for what ive got and always mess fings up I have just recently come out of a relationship and have had to move back with my parents for the ...
A. 22 July 2008: I think that if he ever knew that you were "settling" for him, HE'D be gutted. Don't you think that he deserves someone who thinks he's the sun, the moon and the stars? And why would you not want that for yourself as well. Marriage is challenging ... (read in full...)
Can you masturbate if your hymen hasn't been broken
Q. can you masturbate if your hymen hasnt been broken...
A. 22 July 2008: As long as you don't insert anything into your vagina when you masturbate, your hymen will be fine, Dear.... (read in full...)
The thought of getting caught really turns me on!
Q. the thought of getting caught really turns me on when were having sex, i know it sounds really strange. when me and my boyfriend are having sex, i prefer to do it like, in his bedroom when his parents are in, or in his car, where its risky, i dont ...
A. 22 July 2008: It definitely increases the "naughty" factor! Just don't take the thrill seeking to far, it could lead to actually being caught and exposed. The THOUGHT of being caught is Titillating, actually BEING caught, not so much!!! ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get revenge on this guy?
Q. pls someone should tell me how to suffer a guy just to get back at him. what do i do to revenge? i saw a picture of a girl i suspect him to be with and some outgoing and incoming calls from both parties. he denies it and said he just wanted to show ...
A. 22 July 2008: Consider yourself well rid of the jerk. If he did it to you, he'll do it to her. As a matter of fact, feel sorry for her. Here's the best way to get revenge. When he finally pulls the same stuff on her, befriend her. She'll need a friend, and ... (read in full...)
My wife to be had an abortion, what do I do?
Q. Hi all, I am new here. I was googling about my problem and came here to this site and thought to post my dilemma. Ok, I know this girl for one and half months and we have had talks for hours and found that we both like each other and planned...
A. 21 July 2008: Well, you are the person who has to decide if they can live with this or not!
You know, you should be able to forgive a person their past if you truly love them. Forgiveness is one of the main keys in Christianity, and that is something that you ... (read in full...)
Do your legs space out when you have sex for the first time?
Q. ok i am 13 years old and i am a virgin but there's this one question that i am dying to know when you have sex for the first time do your legs start to space out?...
A. 20 July 2008: After reading your question, I am kind of picturing every woman that isn't a virgin not being able to walk with their legs together...
Now surely, you have to know that your Mom, her friends and all of their sisters all walk just fine, righ... (read in full...)
I get criticism for dating a white guy! Will marriage be an issue?
Q. I am an african american female. i am currently dating a white guy who i really seem to like but i get a lot of criticism from friends and family, not really bad things just teasing. His family all love me and they are the coolest people. He makes ...
A. 20 July 2008: I wouldn't be so concerned about your differences. It's what you have in common that keeps you together.
Be prepared for a lot of teasing. The minute that you marry, there will be ALL sorts of comments - About HUSBANDS and WIVES.
Any other "t... (read in full...)
This girl has an eye on my boyfriend, I am trying not to be jealous, but I am hearing rumors that he is cheating on me, should I be concerned?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for four years and I love him to death. However, to make a long story short, he gave another girl "yellow" roses around christmas time because her grandmother died. It was obvious she had an "attraction" to him. My first ...
A. 20 July 2008: Although eventually, I became the favorite daughter-in-law, my mother-in-law was quite a witch. My husband had 2 brothers and she put the first 2 DIL's through hell. When I was dating my hubbie, he was working and putting himself thru Uni. He was ... (read in full...)
What pet names can you call a guy?
Q. A guy calls you 'baby, huni, sexy.' But what can you call a guy? ...
A. 18 July 2008: Density, as in "You are my Density..."
Back to the Future, gotta love that old movie! Ha!
I always call my guy Sweetums, after the big hairy creature in the Muppets "The Frog Prince..." He looked like a wookie and would say "Eat Froggie Now". L... (read in full...)
My husband talks with his female internet friend, for three hours at a time, I am troubled by this, he say it's nothing, am I over reacting?
Q. Husband has internet friendship with female - I am very confused about his new friend he has found in a chat room. He says he has the right to have any friend he wants including a female who is single. He says it is nothing and he is just a cha...
A. 18 July 2008: I'm sorry, Hun. A "friend" is someone that you go bowling with, that you can bring home, that you can introduce to the wife and kids. This is obviously not a friend. I'm sorry, but I think you are doing the right thing and that your counselor is ... (read in full...)
My husband talks with his female internet friend, for three hours at a time, I am troubled by this, he say it's nothing, am I over reacting?
Q. Husband has internet friendship with female - I am very confused about his new friend he has found in a chat room. He says he has the right to have any friend he wants including a female who is single. He says it is nothing and he is just a cha...
A. 18 July 2008: I'm sorry, Hun. A "friend" is someone that you go bowling with, that you can bring home, that you can introduce to the wife and kids. This is obviously not a friend. I'm sorry, but I think you are doing the right thing and that your counselor is ... (read in full...)
We had sex, in a non private place, resulting in neither of us having an orgasm, will he think I'm bad in bed, and will he embarrass me, by telling his friends?
Q. Well.. ive been seeing a boy for a while now and we had sex together the other day, the problem is it wasnt really a very good environment because people kept knocking on the door and stuff. as a result neither of us came and it wasnt as good as it ...
A. 18 July 2008: Hunny!
WHY? You do realize that sex is far more serious than people talking about you, right? This isn't a gymnastics display or exercise, this makes babies!!!!!! This isn't the sort of thing you do if you have ANY doubt that the person you are ... (read in full...)
He likes having sex with me but won't commit. What do I do?
Q. i was wondering if i could get some help... i recently decided to break of a so called open releationship (though there was no sex involved just other stuff)as i didnt want to carry on playing second fiddle to his ex. he always said to me that ...
A. 18 July 2008: You did the right thing when you broke it off. Don't have any kind of sex with someone who doesn't want to have a relationship. Why on earth would you give in to sexual demands from a person who has no respect or love for you? Who cares if he is ... (read in full...)
He asked if I would wear a strap on and take him from behind?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 8 months now. We were fine at first but now.... He has started asking really difficult sexual favours from me. He recently asked me if i would wear and strap on and take him from behind?!?! I didnt know what ...
A. 18 July 2008: If he buys the strap on, would he be willing to wear it on his chin?
;-D... (read in full...)
I think I have an STD. What do I do?
Q. I have had sex several times with my boyfriend, i know he has had several sexual partners in the past. I am now experiencing slightly odd things, very very mild bleeding and the constant feeling i need the toilet. I'm worried, are these typical ...
A. 18 July 2008: You have cystitis, which is a urinary tract infection or UTI. They used to call it "Honeymoon Cystitis". What happens is foreign bacteria enters your urinary tract during sex. You should always pee after sex to prevent this. A lot o women will ... (read in full...)
What age do you start having sex?
Q. what age do you start having sex...
A. 17 July 2008: The average age is 18+. The best time would probably be once you are in University. ... (read in full...)
I can't handle my hormones! How do I stay a virgin?
Q. im a 13 yr old girl have have size D boobs, i love them and get lots of attention for the boys beacuse of it, i,e they squeeze them and stuff. i really love it when they do andi get really really horeny aout it all the time, i feel like if i dont ...
A. 17 July 2008: It might be a good idea to divert some of that attention into spelling, grammar and learning the Queen's English. At least, then, by the time you are with child, you will have a job that doesn't pay in dollar bills or involve a pole. Frankly, I ... (read in full...)
Love triangle: He says he still loves me but his girlfriend is pregnant!
Q. Im in a bit of a pickle. Im with another guy and have been for a few weeks, hes great n really nice, but recently my ex has come on the scene, he was my first ever real boyfriend,we were engaged, i love him to bits and i always will as he was my ...
A. 17 July 2008: Your ex has caused you a lot of grief and pain. If you want more of the same treatment, stick around. It's not going to get any better with a pregnant fiancee. people can only treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you. You already know exactly ... (read in full...)
I have no sex drive due to a hysterectomy?
Q. I have had a total hysterectomy i had tumors when i was 27 and now i have no sex drive at all i could care less my husband wants to have sex all the time it seems. I don't take hormones I've tried black cohosh and I'm just looking for some help with ...
A. 17 July 2008: Ooohhh,
They had Dr. Christina Northrop on Oprah today. She has written a wonderful book on menopause. One technique she described was "putting your hand on your upper heart (chest) and your lower heart (your pudenda) and focusing your thou... (read in full...)
How do I talk to a boyfriend that thinks I'm a compulsive liar?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my BF for a little over a year. He doesn't trust me and I spend all my time with him. Now I feel like everything I say is wrong so I don't even speak. he gets so mad at me and tells me I'm a compulsive liar and a ...
A. 17 July 2008: Yes, well, you actually haven't given us any of the details, for example, why he thinks that! It's rather difficult to give an opinion! But, there has to be something going on between you in order for him to feel this way. Perhaps you could write ... (read in full...)
I had sex with a gay guy. Should I tell his partner?
Q. I had sex with a guy whos gay and in relationship should i tell his partner even if it means ever one else will find out that i am gay I had serveral sexually flings with this guy, he has a boy friend but there never do much in bed, he allows m...
A. 16 July 2008: It's not your relationship, therefore, it isn't your place to tell. Pure and simple. Your relationship is with him, not with his partner. He is being unfaithful with you, but that doesn't give you any rights within any of his other relationships. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend insists on fisting me and having rough sex even though I have had many operations 'down below' and it causes me so much pain
Q. so i think i need some advice cause i am not sure what to do. my fiance and i have been together for a year and a half. we are deeply in love and he does everything under the sun for me. i couldnt ask for a better man. but we have a few sex issues. ...
A. 16 July 2008: This man is a sexual sadist, judging by what turns him on. Is it possible that he believes you are, by definition, a masochist? He might think that, simply because you have stuck around for this behavior, repeatedly.
Leave.
This isn't lo... (read in full...)
How dangerous is breathing in helium?
Q. Hello, this is a weird question but is it real dangerous to breathe in helium from a balloon? Me an my friends did it for a laff but i read on the internet that it can make you really ill. Plz help, i'm worried now. x.x.x.x....
A. 16 July 2008: That could just be anxiety, Hunny!... (read in full...)
My mum and dad have been arguing, and my mum said she hates me. I don't know what to do and I need advice.
Q. I am an 8 year old boy from Cupar in Fife in Scotland. My mum and dad have been not really been getting on well and they have had some bad arguments. One day my mum got very annoyed with my big brother for putting a towel in with the dirty clothes. ...
A. 16 July 2008: I'll bet that your Mum's Mum said that to your Mum when she was a little girl at some point, Hun... Your Gran loves you, but she doesn't have the responsibility to look out for you and your siblings 24/7, so it's a different kind of love! Your Mum ... (read in full...)
This girl has an eye on my boyfriend, I am trying not to be jealous, but I am hearing rumors that he is cheating on me, should I be concerned?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for four years and I love him to death. However, to make a long story short, he gave another girl "yellow" roses around christmas time because her grandmother died. It was obvious she had an "attraction" to him. My first ...
A. 16 July 2008: No, He is making a fool out of you. Put your foot down. You do have the right to tell your BF not to see other girls. He has been DELIBERATELY obtuse and pulling the wool over your eyes for his own benefits. Not letting you know that the girl ... (read in full...)
My husband talks with his female internet friend, for three hours at a time, I am troubled by this, he say it's nothing, am I over reacting?
Q. Husband has internet friendship with female - I am very confused about his new friend he has found in a chat room. He says he has the right to have any friend he wants including a female who is single. He says it is nothing and he is just a cha...
A. 16 July 2008: Honey,
Pack your bags.
He doesn't have a clue what he is talking about. Of course he is wrong. Husbands are not supposed to have emotional affairs with coworkers or internet single women. He is confusing his right to privacy with his right to... (read in full...)
How dangerous is breathing in helium?
Q. Hello, this is a weird question but is it real dangerous to breathe in helium from a balloon? Me an my friends did it for a laff but i read on the internet that it can make you really ill. Plz help, i'm worried now. x.x.x.x....
A. 15 July 2008: It's not a big problem if it is done only once or twice. The effects can leave you feeling dizzy or even make you pass out, but this is a highly unusual response. I understand that it is a bit riskier for anyone who already has breathing problems, ... (read in full...)
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