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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Why does love hurt?
Q. There comes a point in your life when you realize: who matters, who never did, who won't anymore... and who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your present or future. But when it ...
A. 30 September 2008: Life isn't fair. You can't make someone love you, not even kin, and you can't help but love someone if you do. Yes, it's not fair, but that's life. I can tell you, it does get easier with age, and accepting life as it comes gets easier, but you ... (read in full...)
I need gift ideas for this female friend. Any tips?
Q. Hey all, I'm just wanting to know gift ideas (preferrably comments from girls). I have a good friend I have known for almost 4 years. I've always liked her a lot, but thought I was out of her league, about this time last year I found out she ha...
A. 30 September 2008: Mix CD or a playlist for her Ipod of songs that she likes or that remind you of her...... (read in full...)
Why are fine-looking women so worried about their appearance? Do women have some kind of competition or acceptance problems with each other?
Q. Alright, I just wanted to express my opinion. From a male perspective, and not that of a guy who looks around hungrily for sex. Women seem really image conscious, a little too much I'd say. I mean it's surprising how much women actual...
A. 28 September 2008: A girl whose face is covered with paint,
Attracts me more than one whose Ain't.
- Ogden Nash
I think that with both men and women, it's very normal and human to size up the competition. Women, however, have a bigger row-to-hoe because in o... (read in full...)
Am I mad to give up the chance of having a kid in the future by staying with him?
Q. Dear aunts, I am 30 years old and have no children. My boyfriend is in his 40s, has 2 kids and has had a vasectomy. Whilst I don't particularly want kids, am I mad to give up the chance of having a kid in the future by staying with him? You n...
A. 27 September 2008: I think that you are wise to think on it and reflect exactly what it is you want out of life. You are the one making choices here. Your boyfriend already has children and may possibly not want more. I think that letting this "choice" be made by ... (read in full...)
I need survival tips from someone smart, who knows what I can think or do to not lose my cool almost everyday.
Q. I wonder,if anybody would have any practical advice to my situation... I live in a very troubled marriage. Its a long one, over 20 years. Lots of problems. I know its natural, and many marriages gets to the same point, when you wonder if its wo...
A. 27 September 2008: I am reading a very interesting book right now called "Why Men Love Bitches... Or How to Hold Your Own in a Relationship" by Sherry Argov, and it really has some very good ideas about losing yourself and your own identity, especially with a ... (read in full...)
My biggest fear is my dad will marry before I do! Our relationship is not the same since he has a girlfriend! I'm going crazy!
Q. So my father has a girlfriend. She's nice, I dont think she really loves him.. She talks down to him sometimes and she has no Job! She is 35.. not quiet the age to be retiring hunny! Im having a hard time dealing with the fact that My dad has ...
A. 26 September 2008: I think that you are going to have to accept the fact that she is in his life. If you treat her with disrespect and view her as a competitor for your Dad's affections, he won't be happy with you. He loves you as a daughter, he loves her in a ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my father that I'm pregnant? He has absolutely zero empathy and worries more about money than anything else!
Q. Hello All, I would like some tips or advice on how to tell my father that I am pregnant. Here is a little info: I am 26 years old and in a stable relationship. I have told my mother, sister, brother, and all my friends. Everyone seems to be ex...
A. 26 September 2008: Well,
This is your Dad. You can't change him, you can only change Your reactions to him and how it affects You. If he is easier to deal with out in a public forum, take him out to dinner to tell him. Somehow, I can't help but wonder if he know... (read in full...)
What should I do about my attraction towards a male co-worker? I hear he was into guys before.
Q. Hey everyone who is taking the time to read this. This is my first posting and I kind of really need some advice. I am beggining to have a huge attraction for a co worker of mine. I knew I was into guyz before but I never actually had feelings for ...
A. 25 September 2008: If I were you, I'd try to figure out if there was somewhere he hangs out after work (best option) or at lunch (second choice). It would be easier to suss out his interest in you away from prying eyes. I wouldn't approach him at work if you aren't ... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I cheated and I can't prove otherwise. What do I do?
Q. My wife thinks I cheated on here while on a seven month deployment and of course there is no way to prove other wise what do I do?...
A. 25 September 2008: Don't entertain her insecurities by giving them more attention than they deserve. Focus your whole attention on being with her right now. She may have told you that all of her insecurities were about your being unfaithful, but I'll bet most of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never sees the best in me, but expects me to see the best in him! Why is this?
Q. why does my boyfriend never see the best in me,yet im always expected to see the best in him, why do boys behave in this pathetic way? ...
A. 24 September 2008: Because we allow it. People only treat us how we allow them to. If he is treating you badly, be busy and unavailable. Don't put up with it. He'll learn that he can't treat you that way if you don't stick around for it. Good Luck. ... (read in full...)
If he wants a 'friendship' then why does he kiss me on the lips? Is he playing mind games?
Q. my best guy mate recently told me he fancied me in the past but now he "doesn't want to tempt the friendship as he loves me too much"-it took me months to tell him how I feel.. The day after i told him how I felt he kissed an older woman (I was s...
A. 24 September 2008: Good for you, dear. It's not worth it to try to second guess his emotional state, and actions always speak louder than words.... (read in full...)
My husband and I do not have good sexual relations, I try to tell him what I like, but it does not take, I am not satisified, what advice can you give me to help the situation, I don't want to cheat?
Q. i've been married for almost three years, and my husband works a lot of hours. we've got two children, a one year old daughter and a two month old son. i'm a homemaker. i have tried to come up with many ideas of foreplay and tried many ways of ...
A. 24 September 2008: Tell him your porn is better and watch it by yourself. He may break down and join you...... (read in full...)
If he wants a 'friendship' then why does he kiss me on the lips? Is he playing mind games?
Q. my best guy mate recently told me he fancied me in the past but now he "doesn't want to tempt the friendship as he loves me too much"-it took me months to tell him how I feel.. The day after i told him how I felt he kissed an older woman (I was s...
A. 23 September 2008: Well, now that he knows that you have feelings for him, he is nervous and You appear to be chasing after him. If I were you, I would cool my heels with the whole friendship and let him sweat for a bit. Instead of trying to be both his friend and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is trying to take a job out of the country. How should I feel about this?
Q. I've been dating a really nice girl for about 2 and a half months. Things are going really well. About 5 weeks ago she told me about a job opportunity she was notified of that would take her to France for 4 months starting January 2009. We both live ...
A. 23 September 2008: Lots of couples have survived LDR's, but not if they aren't communicating within their relationship. You need to be discussing all of this with her! Personally, my husband and I have lived on different continents for 19 months while I was raising ... (read in full...)
How do I pick my future boyfriend out of these two guys I have a crush on?
Q. Dear Cupid.. I have a crush on two guys and I don't know what should do I??? the first one is friend from one of my class, he is named Mathew, and i really like him and he is all the time flirting with me, otherwise the second one is named andrew, ...
A. 23 September 2008: You don't have to go out with only one guy right now. Why not date both until you figure out which guy you like better? There's no harm in "playing the field" until you are sure! No matter what, there's no guarantee that you will never get hurt, ... (read in full...)
My husband and I do not have good sexual relations, I try to tell him what I like, but it does not take, I am not satisified, what advice can you give me to help the situation, I don't want to cheat?
Q. i've been married for almost three years, and my husband works a lot of hours. we've got two children, a one year old daughter and a two month old son. i'm a homemaker. i have tried to come up with many ideas of foreplay and tried many ways of ...
A. 23 September 2008: Nagging never works, leading him a bit does. If he thinks that watching porn is a turn on, why not do a little research and find some porn that You like. There is porn directed by women, which is a bit more romantic, and there is computer animated ... (read in full...)
Could I have conceived on December 15th?
Q. If my last period was on November 20-29th(not sure the exact day) and i gave birth on August 19th to twin girls both weighing 6pds, could i have conceived on December 15th? my due date was Aug 27th.I know i need to get a DNA test between 2 men. I ...
A. 23 September 2008: Pregnancy lasts 38 weeks or 40 weeks from your last period, but you generally give birth a few weeks early with twins. I think that calculating, in your case, isn't going to pin it down. Best to wait for the DNA test, I think. Good Luck and ... (read in full...)
Do I risk our relationship and hurt his feelings or do I keep this to myself?
Q. I've been with my bf for a number of years and we are childhood sweethearts. we're at the stage where we're both ready to get engaged and i don't think it will be long before he asks me to marry him. all sounds good but..... about 2 years ago, whi...
A. 23 September 2008: I think that it will adversely affect your relationship and your trust if you tell him about this. It will hurt him terribly and I'm not sure what the benefit of telling him will be. You recognize this as a mistake and you feel badly, and I think ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to her, without seeming like an a*****le ?
Q. Hi guys, okay this question isn't as emotionally charged as some of the ones you normally receive but its important to me. About a year ago, I planned to go travelling with this female friend of mine for 6 months around the world. She suggeste...
A. 23 September 2008: Use your words. The ideal time would have been when she first reneged on the "joining up for some parts" of the trip. Now, Simply sit her down and explain that you were happier with that arrangement because you seem to have separate and different ... (read in full...)
How do I handle a guy who's telling other male friends of mine to back off and then they avoid me?
Q. How do I handle a guy who's telling other male friends of mine to back off and then they avoid me? This guy has a girlfriend so why is he doing this? What should I do? Please help!!...
A. 22 September 2008: We can't! You have to do this for yourself! You need to confront this guy and ask him what the heck is up! Then tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to either dump his girl and date you exclusively or shut up and let you live your own ... (read in full...)
Are these signs my friend's giving out - letting me know that she is bisexual?
Q. Hey i am 19 years old, so is my best friend who is 19 years of age too. recently i have realised that she may be bisexual and probably wants to make out with me. Just few days back she said that if she were to get really high she would make out with...
A. 22 September 2008: It sounds like she has a little crush on you, so I would venture an opinion that she is, at least, bisexual. You should probably let her know exactly how YOU feel towards her if this is a problem for you.... (read in full...)
How to deal with my period (and the unbearable cramps) when I'm at school?? It's even hard to walk and talk to people...
Q. PLEASE HELP ME!! I don't know what to do when i get my period on a school day. This morning i was having a pretty light period, then when I got to school, like all my nerves went off and my period suddenly turned heavy. During my 1st hour class i...
A. 22 September 2008: When your period is this heavy and this uncomfortable, you should get your Mom to bring you to see a good OB/GYN for a thorough exam. I'm sure that they will be able to give you help with your pain and give you some insight on how to deal with your ... (read in full...)
What is this 'ball with a hole in it', inside my vagina? Please help!
Q. Hey me and my boyfriend have been sexually active for around 5 months and weve been together for seven! Where both 16 by the way! Well anyway before we had sex my boyfriend was fingering me quite hard and when he went home i went to the bath...
A. 22 September 2008: It is DEFINITELY your Cervix. You can feel it with your finger, up on the inside wall of your vagina. The cervix feels like the end of your nose and has an opening in the end. It is the entrance to your womb and nothing but sperm and your ... (read in full...)
Do you think my husband had an affair with his work colleague?
Q. I wrote in earlier this year regarding my suspicions with my husband and some work colleague. He received a happy birthday text in full with a kiss and she sent an e-mail to him starting "Hello Darling", the past few months i have left things and ...
A. 22 September 2008: Don't "play your hand" right now and reveal your suspicions. Simply continue as if things are perfectly normal. That will allow you some time to observe each of their behaviors without tipping him off. Keep a log, snoop for receipts, get a record ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, but I really like him! Help!
Q. I transferred to a new school and met a friend who i went over to her house.Well we went down and hungout with this guy that has a girlfriend but i liked him.We were hanging out in an unfinished house climbing around and he had to help me down and ...
A. 22 September 2008: Being "the new person" isn't a very easy thing to do. I think that it would be very easy to "latch on" to some sweet and interesting guy MAYBE because you are feeling out-of-sorts and uncomfortable and falling head-over-heels very quickly would be ... (read in full...)
I got called a fat cow and now I'm paranoid....am I overweight??
Q. Well, i just wanted to no if you think im over weight, Im 14 nearly 15, im 7 stone 2 Lbs and 5"4-5, i think im pretty chubby for my height and age, all my friends tell me im not fat and that im skinny, but the other day this person called me a fat ...
A. 19 September 2008: If you are 5.4 1/2 and 100 lbs, you are probably a wee bit on the skinny side of normal, not the fat side. The person who called you a "fat cow" probably did it because he knows most women are weight conscious, so he was being a bully. I'd ignore ... (read in full...)
He went down on me and wanted nothing in return - is this normal?
Q. Me and this guy that I've only met twice have hooked up each time we've been together while at a friend's house. Each time, he's gone down on me, but afterwards it didn't seem like he wanted anything in return. Does that seem wierd to anyone? Why ...
A. 18 September 2008: If he's rich and can cook, Marry him...
No, but seriously, men enjoy giving pleasure! It's a turn on in itself to be in control of giving pleasure to someone else, right? Women like blow jobs for the same reasons, to please their partner!... (read in full...)
I can't achieve an orgasm with bf or ex's.-thoughts or advice would be much appreciated
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for over two years and i've had other partners before him. i can not achive an orgasm with him and never have with anyone else either. i can do it myself but i have an odd way of doing it. i lie on my stomach and rub my ...
A. 18 September 2008: To be blunt, my only thought would be "Why are you NOT communicating this information your boyfriend?". Your sex life comes from total, mutual, communication. The biggest sexual organ is the brain, and if you aren't talking openly with your lover, ... (read in full...)
I have just found out my husband has never divorced his first wife.!
Q. I just found out my husband of three years has been lying to me about everything possible, and the kicker, I just found out he never divorced his first wife. He got married in California the first time but we went to Las Vegas,Nevada and eloped.Is ...
A. 18 September 2008: Everything pashanoodle said was spot on. I'm not sure how YOU feel about all of this though...
The fact is that you could involve the law, because this is bigamy, and you have every right to do so. You could also request an annulment if you want... (read in full...)
I asked my husband if he had EVER cheated on me, he was defensive and denied it but my gut told me it is true...
Q. I asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me and his response was really different. He kept saying i cannot believe you do not trust me. He was defensive and after a while my gut told me this is true .. He said that if it was when we were youn...
A. 17 September 2008: I think that Uncle Phil and emilysanswers had the right idea. Men are extremely defensive when there word is questioned. You will find that men will say that their word is there bond, and they often make verbal agreements that they will follow ... (read in full...)
Will he judge me for being a 28 yr old virgin?
Q. I'm a 28 year old virgin, I've just started seeing a new guy but I am worried that he will judge me and will find it weird. ...
A. 17 September 2008: I think the the state of your virginity isn't really a topic that he needs to know for at least a month or two. It isn't something that you should worry about or be embarrassed over either, You should be proud of yourself. If haven't given your ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend is a bitch...Or is it me?
Q. Well to start, my girlfriend blows up into a bitch at any chance, shes been diagnosed with depression a couple years ago. She gets 'stressed out' extremely easily. Today, I get to class and my class is cancelled. So talking on MSN at my school, I ...
A. 17 September 2008: It's quite obvious that you love your girlfriend. She is very focused on her own needs, and has totally ignored and disregarded yours, even AFTER you bent over backwards for her. You have been MORE than a very accommodating boyfriend. She needs ... (read in full...)
What exactly does "love" mean to you?
Q. heya, A friend of me asked me this, and i want to get some of your opinions on it... but can you tell me...? What exactly is love? I know... kinnda a big question... but i want to see what other people think it is :) And i dont really want the d...
A. 17 September 2008: "Love means never having to say you're sorry..."
Sorry, old movie line from the movie "Love Story" from the seventies. Never quite understood the sentiment there...
The saying that I have always liked is that when you are truly in love, you real... (read in full...)
Can a fetish be cured?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are a completely happy, normal couple. Sort of. Earlier in our relationship I noticed it was hard for him to get it up and even keep it up. We struggled for a few weeks. He was more mad about it than I was. He later conf...
A. 16 September 2008: This fetish is your boyfriend's "Jones", not yours. You need to let him realize that he has to get some control over it in order for your real-ationship to continue. He chose to start a relationship with 102 pound You, even though he may be a ... (read in full...)
My ex has me utterly humiliated by revealing intimate details about me and our sex life to... anyone who will listen! How do I get revenge?
Q. I recently went through a messy break-up with a girl who I'd been dating for two years. After the break up, she started revealing certain intimate details about me to members of my family and pretty much anyone else who'll listen. She's divulged ...
A. 15 September 2008: Frankly, the best revenge is living well and holding your head up high. Don't get me wrong, if the opportunity came up (through kismet) and you could get a lick in, I'm sure that no one would find fault with you. BUT, wanting revenge and plotting ... (read in full...)
I'm the only one in my grade with a light moustache and hair on my chin, I feel embarassed!
Q. im only 13 but i m having hair on my face i have a light moustache and some hair on my chin its so embarassing im the only one in my grade hlp plz...
A. 15 September 2008: Well, Hun!
You are perfectly normal for your age group, even if you are the first one in your class. You should talk with your Mom and Dad about shaving, because it is time for you to groom your mustache and chin now! It's a perfectly normal part... (read in full...)
How much do I tell my four year old about the birds and the bees?
Q. My daughter is 4 years old and starting pre-school this week. I was wondering what she should know about about the "birds and the bees" before she goes to school. I'm not sure what the age appropriate discussion would be. I've done some research ...
A. 15 September 2008: BTW -
Make sure that you read or view any book or DVD before you read them with your child in order to determine if they are age appropriate for your child's development too.
XXX... (read in full...)
How much do I tell my four year old about the birds and the bees?
Q. My daughter is 4 years old and starting pre-school this week. I was wondering what she should know about about the "birds and the bees" before she goes to school. I'm not sure what the age appropriate discussion would be. I've done some research ...
A. 15 September 2008: I think that the appropriate time comes when a child expresses curiosity towards it and begins asking questions. Most 4 years olds don't ask questions, but you'd be surprised what a 6 year old will come out with! My son asked what a condom was at ... (read in full...)
My parents think it's wrong for me to date a black guy, is this racist?
Q. My mom and dad are soo protective. i like this black guy...alot and he likes me. but my parents think it is wrong for a white girl to date a black boy. i think thats racsism. but me and this boy have been talking for a year and we tell each other ...
A. 14 September 2008: Rent the movie "Guess who is coming to dinner". Your parents are at the beginning of the movie, they haven't gotten to the end of the movie yet. The difference is that at least THAT couple weren't hiding their relationship from their parents, even ... (read in full...)
I am seeing and sleeping with a married man! Why am I such an awful person to have gotten myself into this situation? What should I do? What does this tell about me?
Q. I really need to ask a complete third party about this because I can't ask anyone I know. Im feeling horrendous guilt and I don't know why I do the things I do. I really don't. I have a good career and 14 months ago I started a new job and be...
A. 14 September 2008: To make things extremely simple, words are simply words. Actions are the defining measure of your character and THEY are what will define your future destiny. So? Not to many choices there. Leave him. Rationalizing an affair or slapping ... (read in full...)
My parents think it's wrong for me to date a black guy, is this racist?
Q. My mom and dad are soo protective. i like this black guy...alot and he likes me. but my parents think it is wrong for a white girl to date a black boy. i think thats racsism. but me and this boy have been talking for a year and we tell each other ...
A. 14 September 2008: No Hunnie,
It's not wrong to date outside your race, but your parents do expect you to listen to them and respect them while you are under their roof. Unless you have heard them say other things about black people, I suspect that they are doin... (read in full...)
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