A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,Please help me to stop being angry and more importantly- to stop caring. I have known this man for nearly five years. We went out for two and a half, one of which we lived together. I found out in 2007 that he was cheating and lying the whole time we were together- this included bitching about me to his friends, exchaging naked pictures with a girl online, meeting other girls when I would wait for him at home. Anyway, we continued being friends. This past summer, I have been there to help after his surgery, wrote half his Master thesis, helped him out with his job applications, lent him money. But now that I want some moral support, he is nowhere to be seen! I am so angry that I was there for this horribly selfish jerk, even though I KNOW I should expect anything from him. I am very angry today and would like some advice on just breaking all contact, stop caring even a little and just move on.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (30 August 2009):
 You said it yourself: I want to break off with this jerk. Before you can do that though, you need to start caring about yourself more than you care about him. Stop focusing on your feelings for him, and start focusing on your feelings about yourself and what is best for yourself. When a man or woman finds themselves in a relationship with someone who obviously does not love them, but they find hard to leave the jerk anyway... that usually means the person has significant self-esteem issues. So instead of breaking it off with him outright, just keep seeing him, but start doing things that make you feel better about yourself, do things you're good at and enjoy that take the focus off of him and his own agenda in life. Make sure you focus on yourself and your own friendships and what's best for you. Once you do that, if you still feel like staying with this jerk, then seek professional help. Seek perspective. My God, there is absolutely no reason on this planet that you should be with this man. Someone like you deserves someone who can give you back the love you have. If you keep staying with him, you only belittle yourself, your dreams, and your trust and belief in love. Don't let a man destroy your faith in love. If you keep staying with this man, he will. And guess who will lose out big time in her life? YOU!!!!! Don't let him destroy your faith in the opposite sex, because then you will never be able to trust in a loving relationship again!!
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (29 August 2009):
 Good God Woman! Why do you think that you deserve being treated like this? Stand up for yourself! You probably won't move on until you figure out WHY you are punishing yourself and think you don't deserve to be treated any better. TRUST ME - YOU DESERVE BETTER. It sounds like you were 150% supportive, trusting and incredibly forgiving - Any guy would be thrilled to find a supportive person like You!!! Good Luck, Stand Up and put your foot down once and for all, better yet, use it to kick his ass out the door and then put one foot in front of the other and get yourself away from him!
http://www.wikihow.com/Break-Up
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (29 August 2009):
All you really need to do, is remember that you are so much better than this waste of time.Think of it in an arrogant perspective and actually legitimately know that you are worth the world and some guy out there is going to love you more than you could ever understand-iydm
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