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male
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anonymous
writes:Hi,i need some help here, my ex gf and i broke up a fair while back and now i'm with someone else called Holly, now my ex claims not to love me or anything or even fancy me anymore, however on my msn screen name i have i love Holly, and last night my ex popped up in conversation and said to me, Holly is a tree you know, and kept going on about it and i said yeah and what's your point and she said well i was just saying so i said yeah ok and left it at that. but my dad seen wat she said an he thinks she is jealous but i don't think she is.and the other week she woudln't stop going on over her cousin fancying me and i said even if your cousin does fancy me what has it got to do with you an she said well i'd be upset and i said i don't see why your'e making a fuss over it coz were not even together anymore.any help would be appreciated.
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broke up, cousin, ex girlfriend, jealous, msn, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): Closure is a good thing to help give but it goes nowhere when the other party just wants to fester and rot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): She sounds unbalanced and her jealousy and insecurity have her sounding like a most boring twit.
With this, why do you care what she thinks? I've read what you said and she makes very little sense.
Just block her for now and let her cool down and grow up a bit before trying to have her as a friend.
Focus on Family and Good Friends this Holiday Season.
Best Wishes.
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 Hi Anon,
I agree with your father. I think that your ex is probably jealous in a way, even if she doesn't want to be a couple with you. It's probably just a lot for her to take in that you're actually with someone else. I'm not trying to say that she's full of herself or anything, but maybe she wasn't completely over you.
I don't think that you did anything wrong. If you wanted to write "I love Holly" on your msn, then you should be able to without being questioned about it or without your ex making an stupid comments. Afterall, you didn't put that on your msn to annoy her, right? It's only natural that you'd move on, and when you do you're obviously going to care about the person that you're seeing - enough to want to tell other people about it.
If her cousin does fancy you, then I could totally understand her feeling hurt -- but ONLY if you two were to get together. If there's nothing going on between the both of you, then there's no reason for her to be pouty about it. I think that the reason she got moody over it is mainly from your reaction - how you said "i don't see why your'e making a fuss over it coz were not even together anymore." But seriously, she brought that on herself because the reaction you had tells me you were getting annoyed with her.
It sounds like she needs some kind of closure or something. Did you guys ever discuss with each other why you broke up? Maybe you need to talk with her again. Clearly she is still upset about the whole thing. Even if you don't care for her as a girlfriend, as least try to have some compassion for her as a person, you know? But like I said, it's only natural to move on. Just try to understand she still might be hurting, even if she's not outright about it.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Saskia +, writes (21 December 2006):
Well i see it like this..she doesnt like you in that way and when other girls do she does get jealous but not because they like you but because she wants you yo still long after her..she must like your attention or something..or she wants you to miss what you two had
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): Why do you need help? Are you sad she is not jealous? Do you need to feel good about yourself, therefore make everything in your power to make her jealous? Right because if she is not jealous you wont have accomplished your goal right? I have no clue how old you are, but what you are doing is hurtfull and childish. I mean you went out with this girl, you loved her at one point, she comes on msn and she sees your name, it must off hurt! She said those comments because she was a little hurt and maybe angry, on top of it, it is Christmas soon!And about her cousin, yes it is a big no no to go out or fantizize about her friends or someone in the family. You are having a easier time because you have found soemeone else, but really stop this bulls**t and be considerate. Stop rubbing it in her face that your gf is amazing and that you love her so much.Hopefully you will have enough confidence one day to stop putting people down and making them feel little in order to feel good about yourself!
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