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female
age
36-40,
*habnam21
writes: hi everyone,im 23 years and in college. i started dating with my boyfriend about an year ago. i ve a 2 yr old son from my ex. my boyfriend was the one always after me. at first, i didnt take him that seriously. but he just wouldnt let it go. he always showed me a lot of love and caring. so gradually, i became serious too. now, i love him to death. i just think that i cant live without him. he asked me to get married to him so many times but i didnt have any answer because i wanted to discuss everything with my parents first. we both come from a very conservative asian background. my parents approved, and i told him. but then he started giving me excuses like he has spoken to his parents but they will never approve of this relation because of my baby. and he cant do anything wihtout their concern. he says he loves me but he has to get married to someone his parent would approve. and now he is telling me to try to move on. he is still with me but wants me to move on so that he could do the same. i just dont know what to do. i love him so much and its tearing me apart from everything.
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move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 crying takes the tension away so cry if u have to u will soon get over it and one day u will cry the tears of joy when u have met someone u have been waiting for.
all the best
jovial
A
female
reader, shabnam21 +, writes (11 January 2007):
shabnam21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks a lot to STINA and JOVIAL. your answers really helped me. dis situation made me cry a lot but ur answers made me so strong. i can finally breathe.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 Hi there shabnam,
What an awful situation you're in - it's terrible that he would even get together with you in the first place knowing how his parents are. He sounds way too selfish in my opinion. He got what he wanted, and how he's done with you. What a jerk! How could he not have foreseen what would happen? Like Jovial, I think he's full of it.
And if he wasn't lying and was "shocked" at his realization that his parents' wouldn't like the idea of you marrying, then the only thing I can say is that you should be glad you're not with him. It sounds like he obeys whatever his parents tell him. Do you want to be married to an individual, or to his parents? Because he seems to not have a mind of his own - even when it comes to his romantic relationships!
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (11 January 2007):
Hi there
I think you know what to do, let him go you deserve someone who loves you with or without a child. He is just making excuses about his parents, the key to his parents’ acceptance of you, is his love and respect for you they might not like the idea of him marrying a woman with another man’s child as u said they are conservative but with time they were gonna accept you, Africa practice the same culture but most of the time parents accept that type of marriage all the time because if their son is happy they are happy. If he was saying they believe in arranged marriages and they already have a wife for him it was gonna make sense, but this one is just so low.
I bet the guy is not being honest what bothers me is why did he kept on asking your hand in marriage while he knew his customs? Was he trying to lead you on so that he can break your heart? Believe me this dude is very selfish, immature and you don’t want his type being your son’s step dad. Love hurts but don’t give-up yet keep searching you will meet who appreciate you. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007): NOTHING STOPS TRUE LOVE. so go from there. i basicly laid it out in those 4 words i said alot in 4 words i hope u know what i mean he is old enough 2 make his own decision
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007): A very very conservative asian background is deep rooted in parental approval for just about everything. I am sorry for that. Knowing that fact it is best that you move on...or else risk bringing shame to his family due to the fact he did not follow their rule.
The other idea is to elope and move far far away!
Sorry!
Good Luck!
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