How do I get over the guilt? I want out of my marriage
Q. Hi everyone, I have been married for 8 years and after a long and happy marriage, my husband and I are separating. Even though the marriage was happy, towards the end we had started fighting way too much and too often. and even though we still ...
A. 29 June 2022: You have brought up suggestions and he shots them down, which means he isn't looking to try and fix anything.
No, he hasn't changed. He just wants YOU to suck it up and get on with it.
DO the trial separation. While you are separated focus ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated trying to do better but I am unhappy
Q. Hi all. I have been married for 8 years. Been together off and on for 16 years. I love my husband. He is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I grew up with narcissistic parents and placed other people's feelings above mine. My...
A. 25 June 2022: Good for you OP.
And the money branch was a typo - should have been monkey-branch - you know, swing from branch to branch?
Going from one relationship straight into another rarely turns out good. Because you haven't unpacked your own issues ... (read in full...)
Should I just delete everyone after this?
Q. I’ve liked this girl for years, when we first met she had a BF, when they broke up I asked her out, but she was already seeing someone else. We’ve kept off and on contact (I have her number and socials, and recently her close friend started ...
A. 25 June 2022: EDIT:
Sorry....
You are in your 30's, you can RELY on others to make decisions for YOUR life.
Should have been...
You are in your 30's, you can't RELY on others to make decisions for YOUR life.... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with me keeping my opinions to myself in this situation?
Q. A lot of my friends are posting about the United States Supreme Court decision at overturning Roe vs Wade (abortion law). I am pro-life but I never talked about my views with my family or friends. Part of me feels like I am a coward for not e...
A. 25 June 2022: "Is there anything wrong with me keeping my opinions to myself in this situation?"
None.
Everyone is allowed to form their OWN opinion. Whether you want to share them or not, is ALSO your choice. You do what feels right for you.
People t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied about his age lost trust
Q. Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had alot of rough patches mostly because he's always asking me for financial help. Today however, I found out he's lied about his age for 3 years. He told me he was 5 years olde...
A. 25 June 2022: "We have had alot of rough patches mostly because he's always asking me for financial help."
I know it's a "thing" these days for (some) men to live off women and I don't get it. Where is their pride? Their drive? Wanting to succeed? Be self-suf... (read in full...)
Why do boys do dumb things to impress girls and each other?
Q. My question is why do boys have to do dumb stuff to show off to impress girls or impress each other? We are a small Christian school and we do not have any sports teams. There are only four boys in our 8th grade class and we girls are lucky all ...
A. 25 June 2022: "Should I tell on them or mind my business?"
You should ingore them. Plain and simple.
You are mot the school yard "Police". It's not your job (as a Christian or fellow student) to "school" a group of dumb teenage boys on how to behave.
Th... (read in full...)
Husband cheated trying to do better but I am unhappy
Q. Hi all. I have been married for 8 years. Been together off and on for 16 years. I love my husband. He is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I grew up with narcissistic parents and placed other people's feelings above mine. My...
A. 25 June 2022: It sounds like you are making up excuses so you can money-branch to a better (hopefully) guy. Someone stable with more money. And you want others to tell you it's OK to leave your husband for the new guy.
I'm, however, not going to do that.
... (read in full...)
Should I just delete everyone after this?
Q. I’ve liked this girl for years, when we first met she had a BF, when they broke up I asked her out, but she was already seeing someone else. We’ve kept off and on contact (I have her number and socials, and recently her close friend started ...
A. 25 June 2022: "Should I just delete her of my phone and socials? "
Yes.
If she was as keen as you are, she would have made time to go out with you.
You had a crush on this woman for years. You hoped that you would have a chance with her, but you got tu... (read in full...)
Moved in with boyfriend but feeling used and miserable
Q. Hey, I am not sure what to say to my partner as I am starting to feel a little used since I have moved in with my boyfriend. Moved in with my boyfriend about a month or so ago and then he went on holiday with some of his mates leaving me to ...
A. 21 June 2022: Ah, you got conned into being his maid and dogsitter. Even though your "title" is GF, he doesn't really think he needs to put in much effort with you anymore since you now live together.
Honey, you need a life. And you need to sit him down and... (read in full...)
Update and thank you from Marcus
Q. I posted in April about a situation where my athletic trainer confessed he had a crush on me and had tricked me into inappropriate situations for his sexual gratification. When I was trying to deal with the situation I was fixated on not wanting to ...
A. 19 June 2022: I hope things keep working out for you in the best way ever! You are brave and smart. You questioned the situation, you mulled it over, and you asked for advice. And when it went to a point you could no longer handle you asked for help around you ... (read in full...)
Friend making things awkward
Q. My friend keeps putting me in awkward situations and I’m not sure if she’s doing it on purpose or not… Let me give you some examples.. The first incident was 3 months ago we went out shopping - she found this fancy scarve that she liked. It ...
A. 16 June 2022: Oh, she is a slippery one, isn't she?
She is a "gaslighter" and manipulator to the max! Makes you feel like you have to question YOURSELF whether you said something or not, making you feel a little crazy for "not remembering".
I think it's ... (read in full...)
Family never believed me that my brothers fiancé was bad news!
Q. I need somewhere to vent - I’m so angry. Several years ago my brother met this woman and it was obvious to me she was only using him. My brother is very successful, owns 2 homes and is a very generous guy. From my first meeting with her...
A. 16 June 2022: Some people CHOSE to wear blinders. You can't fix that.
Your intuition told you she was "no good" but your GROWN brother only wanted to see the good. My guess is, that he did know she was using him, but he was SO stoked that some pretty woman wa... (read in full...)
Why am I an alpha male wannabe?
Q. My girlfriend said she was so glad I was not an “alpha male.” She says it was a compliment and I believe she meant it that way, but I am feeling kind of less manly since she said it. When she realized it was bumming me out she initiated a lot more ...
A. 15 June 2022: Oh, she found your "Achilles heel" didn't she? and now she is just digging in it and salting your wounded ego for "fun"?
You are young. You will learn. Know the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me"? Alpha ma... (read in full...)
Too old to have an exciting life?
Q. Hey, I am looking for some reassurance, really. I am turning 30 this year and going through a divorce. I have been panicking a lot about this and feel like I’m now too old to live an exciting life and go out on dates etc. I have never really been ...
A. 15 June 2022: Miss out on what exactly?
People keep talking about how they have "missed out" on dating or casual sex because they were in a committed relationship or marriage. And I always think "What in the World?"!
No, you are not going to be "too old" for... (read in full...)
Should I worry that he's losing his feelings for me?
Q. Hi, so my boyfriend and I had made plans to hang out today because it is his only day off from baseball practices and games. But this morning when I texted and asked if I was going to his house or if he was coming to mine, he texted back and said he ...
A. 13 June 2022: I think you need to back off a little bit.
The more you "cling" the more HE will distance himself. You have "hung" him as your sun, your moon, and your whole universe. Don't do that. No one (besides you) can or should be your center of the univ... (read in full...)
How do I respond to mutual friends?
Q. HI again! Thank you for all the good advice you have given me. I cannot find my questions I have previously posted, so here’s a very brief recap: I managed to put an end to a lifelong friendship that had been imposed on me (a daughter of fam...
A. 13 June 2022: "So do I just say that I think that she’s doing fine and that we haven’t been in contact for over a year?"
Yes. That is perfectly fine and honest.
If she wants the details, I would just tell her in a brief manner that you have come to realize ... (read in full...)
I don't want my step-mother at my graduation
Q. Hello, thank you for taking the time to read my question. I am 24 years old, I'm graduating from university in the Summer. I'm only allowed two tickets for each parent at the ceremony, so I'm inviting my father and my mother. My Father and I...
A. 13 June 2022: Did your dad help pay for university?
If he did. I "might" feel inclined to invite him. BUT only him. Having only 2 tickets will make it "easier" to EXCLUDE" that repugnant wife of his. YOU do NOT have to meet up afterward with the evil stepmom ... (read in full...)
Don't waste your time time not doing anything
Q. I will be honest - I think times gone for me in the sense of achieving especially romanticly. Never ever in life expect things to just happen. When people say things will all work out in the end, or love only happen when you stop working for it ...
A. 12 June 2022: I absolutely agree with YCNBS,
EVERYONE follows a different path. And no one really knows which path goes where in many cases.
One of my BEST friends met her second husband at age 38. She had been married since she was 16 to a guy who was a pi... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel empowered when you start feeling more reckless in terms of sex?
Q. Hello. I've been dealing with a tough time trying to discover who I am. I was born to a wealthy family, since childhood, my parents were very strict raising me to be a very well behaved person, and they really care about their public image and...
A. 12 June 2022: I know a LOT of young women (of any generation really) have been taught that men want "this or men want that" kind of woman. BUT what is really important is WHAT kind of woman do YOU want to be?
Having many sexual partners does NOT (let me repea... (read in full...)
This new guy told me about his 'crazy' former FWB
Q. Hello, I've been talking to this man for months and we both like each other's. However, he never talked about taking the relationship to the next level, although he spends hours with me talking non stop, watch a movie together, and I do feel the...
A. 10 June 2022: Yep, I'm with WiseOwle
You hinted at a relationship (or he PRESUMED you did) and he told you this cautionary tale of an ex-FWB who because "crazy" and wanted to date.
Having a crazy ex can happen, I would only really worry if they are "A... (read in full...)
My brother threatens
Q. When i visit and stay at my mums house shes 75 to spend time with her, my brother whos 50, who lives there starts arguments about anything and calls me names and just bullies me. he threatens me and says to get out the house and he will throw me ...
A. 10 June 2022: I would look into contacting Ageuk.org.uk and reporting this.
It's called ELDER ABUSE.
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/health-wellbeing/relationships-family/protection-from-abuse/
Or Adult Social Care at your local council.
t... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to refuse to meet him at a hotel?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, Ive been with this guy for 2 months now. Since we met, we always saw each other at my place. Since he doesn't live alone, it was convenient for both of us because of privacy. 7 days ago, we got into a heated argument that mad...
A. 8 June 2022: Talk in a public place, not a private AirBnB or hotel room.
Also, if he finds you SO prideful why does he want to try and work it out?
Can you elaborate on the topic you fought over at 3 am? Because I think THAT is a vital part of the issu... (read in full...)
Can't get out of this relationship with a married man
Q. Please don’t reiterate how stupid I was to not see the signs, not know the obvious - I did see some signs, some uneasy feelings, but I chose to ignore them. I was able to find an excuse for everything. And now I can’t get out. We met two year...
A. 8 June 2022: How were you silly?
You didn't KNOW he was married! But in all seriousness, unprotected sex? You already have 2 kids! You don't live with the guy and have been seeing him for 2 years. Unprotected sex is NOT a smart thing unless you are PLANNING... (read in full...)
My friend's boyfriend makes me uncomfortable
Q. So this isn’t exactly a huge problem but it’s making me uncomfortable and I’m not sure how to deal with it…. There is something about my friends boyfriend that make me uncomfortable- I can’t put my finger on it. Now he’s never said or done any...
A. 8 June 2022: I wouldn't bring up that you don't like. I would, however, ask her why she always feels the need to invite him and that you feel she doesn't want to do anything with you unless he is there too and you miss the days when the two of you (occasionally) ... (read in full...)
Since having sex I've barely heard from him
Q. I am very confused. Something like this happened to me for a first time. I dated a guy for about one month and then we met on Sunday evening for dinner and then ended having sex at his place. As tomorrow was Monday and we live in about an hour ...
A. 8 June 2022: I would move on.
|Either he is playing some "wait and see" game or he isn't as keen on you as you had hoped or he thinks you aren't as keen as you went home after sex. It's hard to guess.
You can't read his mind, he can't read yours. You have ... (read in full...)
How to deal with my nephews.
Q. I need some advice please about my nephews. I have 2 nephews (my husbands brothers kids) aged 10 and 14 and both have no manners and don’t socialize. They are just always engrossed in their phones or iPads etc…. They ignore you when you spe...
A. 6 June 2022: What do you do?
Stop hosting gatherings at your house IF these kids are going to be invited.
If you HAVE TO host it in your house LOCK the doors to rooms you don't want the "brats" in. It might take a bit of effort but yeah, that is probably... (read in full...)
My wifes affair with my best friend
Q. Yesterday was D-day for me. I'm so broken. My wife has been sexting for 2 months w/my best friend (who is married) and they arranged to meet twice in a parking lot to have sex in the last month. They started using Instagram msg discretely to ...
A. 6 June 2022: Talk to a lawyer, talk to your priest.
Only YOU can decide if you WANT to keep her in your life. And IF you do, how to move forward.
If you don't want to stay with her, maybe SHE needs to move out and you file for primary costudy.
So o... (read in full...)
Shes pregnant with my husbands baby
Q. I left my husband May 28th. He confessed to having an affair with a co-worker for the past 7 months.She's now pregnant with his baby. I think I am still in shock. There's just so much to wrap my head around. My husband is 46 we've been married ...
A. 6 June 2022: I understand how you feel.
I think it would be a dealbreaker for me too. Both the cheating but a baby? A baby USUALLY means unprotected sex, so yeah, total dealbreaker for me too.
That also means YOU should get an STI panel done. Just to be... (read in full...)
I want a baby. I am 13
Q. Hi um I'm 13 about to be 14 . I want a baby so bad .because I don't have to worry about other pp not loving me cause my child will always be there for me and love me cause I will be there mommy. And I want to make sure my child does not go thru any ...
A. 5 June 2022: I have to agree with FA,
There IS no hurry for you to become a mother. You are not financially independent, you are not fully grown or matured as a human being. You still have a LOT to learn.
I don't judge that you want a baby to feel loved. E... (read in full...)
Husband nitpicks my English
Q. Dear cupid I come from a country that was colonized by British some 100 years ago, so growing up we use a lot of British words without even knowing the literal meaning of it and English is not my primary language. My husband of 5 years is fro...
A. 5 June 2022: Does he speak anything but English?
If not, tell him to shove it.
Or if he does (and you speak the same language too) nitpick him until he understands how annoying it is.
Now. IF he is nitpicking to help you sound better or articulate you... (read in full...)
Husband missed daughters bdsy because he went drinking
Q. Hi there. Asking for advice on this situation. It was my daughter's 6th birthday on Wednesday and we were meant to have a small party but my husband missed it. The reason? He and my dad went on a bar crawl and ended up coming home so drunk he ...
A. 5 June 2022: Well, your dad and your husband better make it up to you and most particularly to your daughter ASAP!... (read in full...)
I don't want to be the girl who dates a married man
Q. Hello there. I've had problems on dating sites, people wanting me only for sex or ghosting me. Guys send me explicit messages or they ghost me. But then, about six months ago, I met this guy via OKCupid who seemed to be everything I wanted; he was...
A. 5 June 2022: He is married. FULL STOP.
Doesn't matter WHY he married the guy OR that he is married to a guy.
He waited 6 months to tell you. He WANTED to make sure you were hooked. He started to "trickle truth" you. That he is just using the guy (which w... (read in full...)
Missing the Adam I knew before he transitioned to Anna.
Q. There is a younger guy at our office who is really cute and one of the nicest people ever and very popular with us girls as far as gossip and talking about how boyish handsome he is and flirting with him. I admit I have flirted with him and asked ...
A. 5 June 2022: You answered your own question in one sentence.
" I know that is so dumb and selfish"
If Adam/Anna had been the LEAST bit interested in you, He (at the time) would have made a move on you. He didn't even flirt back when you tried. He chose ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him? I am not so sure if he truly loves me or not.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend/fiance' for almost 5 years. Things started off amazingly great and he was super loving and attentive. He took me to lots of nice places and bought me some nice gifts. My family and I also gave him nice gifts and took him ...
A. 5 June 2022: I have to agree with FA.
I don't see his actions as someone who doesn't love you. NEITHER of you makes each other your priority. Your priority is YOU, your family, your job - then him. His are HIMSELF, then you.
The thing is you two are bad ... (read in full...)
I am wondering if my husband is gay
Q. Hello guys. Been married for 10 years now. Have a 4-year-old son. Recently found out my husband had bought gifts for another guy and I'm wondering if he's gay based on that alone. The gifts were ostentatious ones; some expensive shirts from a hi...
A. 3 June 2022: Firstly, separate your finances.
How can he think GIVING someone $5,000 without ASKING you first is OK? (unless you two have so much money that 5,000 is a drop in the ocean).
Ethnicity has nothing to do with this whatsoever, I'm not sure why... (read in full...)
I don't love my husband like I used to
Q. Hi! I posted on DC some time back... I actually posted twice and I got a lot of advice. This is my first post: ________________________ .... so i've been married for over 7 years and I must say I love my husband very much. We've had our u...
A. 3 June 2022: I also remember your posts.
I have to ask this,
Why do you think: "And if I leave him, I would probably ruin his life. " ? If you stay you will end up resenting him. You already do a little right now, if you feel obligated to stay you will re... (read in full...)
Think I can't deal with this anymore but I also feel like a bad person if I leave someone with depression.
Q. Hi everyone I'm just looking for advice. about 6 months ago I started dating a girl who is severely depressed. She takes medication so sometimes its not so bad. We get along well, although I feel like the connection isn't as deep as it c...
A. 2 June 2022: I absolutely agree that YOU are not responsible for her mental health.
This seems like a bit of a one-sided relationship where you put in a lot of effort to spend time together. She WON'T meet you halfways. When you weren't able to text she got ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to stop driving by?
Q. Met a seemingly nice, older man at my church [60s]. He offered to help me with some yard work. He never accepted pay for it, but would make comments like, "I have a lot of women friends and I love to help them." I kept getting the feeling he was ...
A. 2 June 2022: I don't think you asking him to stop driving by your house will make him stop driving by.
He seems odd, for sure.
Is he still a member of your church? If so talk to your decon, priest, or pastor - it might be better coming from a man.
Keep a... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to get along with one of his friends so badly and we just don't click.
Q. Hi all, I am looking for some advice regarding my boyfriend and his friends, one of his friends in particular. Boyfriend and I have been dating just under three years now and I have met some of his friends and for the most part, I get on real...
A. 2 June 2022:
"You just need to speak to her and ask questions."
Just tell your BF that he can't make "Fetch" happen.
Sammy isn't interested in getting to know you. Maybe SHE is annoyed that she is "expected" to be friendly with any of the guy's new GFs? ... (read in full...)
Maybe she wants a penpal?
Q. I went to EDC a couple weekends ago with my brother and ended up chatting with a girl during a set, she's about 6-7 years younger than me. We hit it off and I got her Instagram so I could potentially send her a message at some point in the future. A ...
A. 2 June 2022: I don't think most women would want to meet up with a guy and then proceed to tell him she has a BF. I don't think THAT would make any women feel safer. Maybe that is just my opinion.
She might not POST about her BF on Instagram. It might be a new... (read in full...)
We broke up still have feelings for each other but now she wont meet?
Q. I broke up with my gf after 7 years. We took a break and now she has confessed she still has feelings for me. I admitted the same and she said she wants to speak about us possibly getting back together. I said we need a catch up. However she has ...
A. 30 May 2022: Ah OP,
She just wanted to know that you still wanted her.
I am also curious as to why you broke up. Usually, people break up for a reason, a GOOD reason. That reason is still valid now.
Maybe she hasn't found a "replacement" as fast as... (read in full...)
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