A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:My question is why do boys have to do dumb stuff to show off to impress girls or impress each other? We are a small Christian school and we do not have any sports teams. There are only four boys in our 8th grade class and we girls are lucky all four are cute. No one is allowed to date. We outnumber the boys but it is nice we are not all girls. During our free period the boys play basketball and they always take off their shirts which I am not complaining. They are so goofy and do obvious poses to show off and make us laugh. They do not play basketball very well but they are so competitive about their bodies and talking trash about who is buffer than who even though they are all just cute skinny guys and none of them are huge. I guess that is better than them talking about other stuff. The part I do not get is them punching on each other. Like randomly hitting each other in the arm and if you rub where someone hit you they say you are lame. They take turns punching each other in the stomaches to prove how great their abs are but sometimes it obviously hurts cause after so many times they curl over and end up on their knees. Sometimes they will throw the basketball at each others bodies instead of using fists. It does not seem to be a bully thing because they all do it to each other. It is so stupid though. Of course we all watch them and it is fun watching them act all cocky and stupid so I guess we give them an audience to act stupid. We call it the bonehead show. Normally we are in a gym inside but now during summer session we go outside and we watch an outdoor version of the bonehead show from our picnic tables. The boys sweat more which is hot and gross at the same time. IMO, they need to back off on the punching thing because someone could get hurt no matter how tough they think they are. They have gotten in trouble for hitting each other before but they still do it when no one is supervising. I told them they should stop hitting each other. One of them told me to STFU using the letters like that not the actual words which was still not very nice. Another one told him to apologize because he might ask me to date him someday so he did and that was sweet. I told them Christians should not hit each other and they said they were just practicing forgiving each other. No one believes that but it was kind of creative. I thought about boycotting the bonehead show but everyone still wants to watch them and I do too honestly. Other than this they seem semi-normal and look cute in their uniforms. Should I tell on them or mind my business?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2022): As long as they have an audience, they'll continue their daily performance. I don't think it's necessary to report anything; unless you see actual bullying. It's silly, I know, but they want to show other boys how tough they are; because they know the girls are watching. Trust me, it hurts!
They don't act this way all the time, it's just when they know it will get them attention; or one particular girl they like is watching. He wants her to think he's tough; because boys are taught we have to be able to take pain without flinching or tears. We learn to stand-up to bullies and intimidation by practicing taking a punch; and we also establish among the group who the leader is. It's a guy thing, and will not make much sense to girls; because they see no need to hit each-other to prove anything. In all honesty, you don't!
Unless someone is bullied, or someone actually gets hurt; let them pummel each-other until they knock some sense into each-other. I kind of agree with you, I'd boycott watching because it's silly!
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 June 2022):
 "Should I tell on them or mind my business?"
You should ingore them. Plain and simple.
You are mot the school yard "Police". It's not your job (as a Christian or fellow student) to "school" a group of dumb teenage boys on how to behave.
This is "normal" teen boy behavior. For whatever reason, biology gave males a "jack-ass" gene that really takes off during puberty. Well, not exactly, there are biological reasons behind it: this type of risky, defiant and downright dangerous behavior has its roots in distinct differences in the developing brain of a young person.
Girls are not exempt from this either, they are generally more subtle when acting stupid.
Your brains are still developing. "The brain goes through huge changes, initially it grows and then it shrinks. It basically undergoes what we call pruning, which means that the brain becomes more efficient and it does away with neurons that it doesn't need."
Research has found that peer pressure activates certain brain signals that are linked to the powerful drug-like interplay of risk and reward. And a captive audience is the quickest way to bolster the brain's reward system.
That may be why teenage boys constantly egg each other on to fight, play harder, drink more and drive faster.
So what is the "fix"?
To not give them the attention they crave. If they don't have a "captive audience" (of mostly ALL girls) goofing and hitting each other isn't going to benefit them.
If ALL the girls ignored them (which I highly doubt would happen) they would come up with another scheme to get attention and show off.
"I thought about boycotting the bonehead show but everyone still wants to watch them and I do too honestly."
Why do you think male birds have all the pretty feathers?
To impress the females.
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