New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login240524 questions, 1065069 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*upid_or_Stupid agony aunt


United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *upid_or_Stupid to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *upid_or_Stupid a private message

*upid_or_Stupid's Ratings
*upid_or_Stupid's profile:

I've had quite a lot of life experience for a 18 year old. I'm from Britain :) I try to give advice based on personal experience where I can. I try to be kind but I also like to get my point across so sorry if I come across as a bitch at all!

12Next > [2 pages, 43 answers]

Why is he distancing himself?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year. For the last month or two he's become distant. We don't have sex anymore except on "special occasions". Whenever we're together he constantly has his head in his phone or he's "tired" ...

A.   5 December 2012: Thanks So Very Confused. I was thinking about doing that. Maybe it's for the best for now. ... (read in full...)

Why is he distancing himself?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year. For the last month or two he's become distant. We don't have sex anymore except on "special occasions". Whenever we're together he constantly has his head in his phone or he's "tired" ...

A.   5 December 2012: Thanks again for your answers. He openly lends me his phone to play games etc and I'll even go off with it for a while. I've had a look and it's all just messages from friends and family. I've seen quite a few on there from family members telling ... (read in full...)

Why is he distancing himself?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year. For the last month or two he's become distant. We don't have sex anymore except on "special occasions". Whenever we're together he constantly has his head in his phone or he's "tired" ...

A.   3 December 2012: Thanks for your replies. I didn't mention he has anxiety which might change things a bit. He's admitted he does get homesick. I'd find it almost impossible to believe he is cheating because I have been his only ever girlfriend and all his fami... (read in full...)

My boyfriend watches LIVE porn. How do I deal with this?

Q.   Hello, I have just found out that my boyfriend watches porn. I have had a look on this site and at some porn related questions, and some people say it's fine and all men do it, and some people say they should stop in a relationship. My problem i...

A.   22 May 2012: The problem with Live porn is the interaction. If he isn't speaking to them or they aren't speaking back then it doesn't really matter if she's live or not. He's still gonna watch her do her stuff and get off to it. From experience I know th... (read in full...)

Why is my g/f online asking for advice and won't tell me why?

Q.   my girlfriend is asking advice at web sites like this one. I asked her what kinda questions she is asking and she wont tell me! i;m not a woman i dont know how they think. what does this mean. is she trying to hid something. please help....

A.   28 December 2011: It doesn't mean she's trying to exclude you in any way. Maybe she's asking questions about female things. Despite being your girlfriend she might still have personal private things she doesn't want you knowing about. I guess this is a test of... (read in full...)

He wants a BJ but I backed out of giving him one

Q.   Hey ok i promised my Boyfriend I'd give him a BJ for the first time but when I got to his house and he *whiped it out* i paniced and said "i don't want us to get caught" he said i broke his promise now he is consently saying "u gonna back out of ...

A.   27 December 2011: Well firstly, it was OK for you to back out. If you're not feeling 100% comfortable with something then you shouldn't do it. It means you're not ready. So you did the right thing. Secondly, he is pressuring you into doing something you don't wa... (read in full...)

Sex with a new person felt like the first time? WHY?

Q.   i lost my virginity in june and was sleeping with the same person until october; so i am used to sex by now. so why when i slept with someone else a few days ago did it still not go smoothly? The other person has also lost their virignity so why d...

A.   18 December 2011: Having sex with my current boyfriend for the first time (despite not being a virgin) felt like my fist time too. I think it's because you get used to sex with that one person and then to have sex with someone else is nerve wracking and even tho... (read in full...)

2 hours going at it and still no magical finish

Q.   hey guys. im 16 and so yesterday i was with this girl, weve known each other for a while know, and its not the first time weve gotten sexual... so anyway she invited me over to her house since her parents were out and we could do it again, btw she ...

A.   3 December 2011: If it was your first time (meaning you were a virgin before hand) it is perfectly natural to not cum at all and to even go soft a few times. My boyfriend lost his V to me and he went soft twice and then didn't cum from sex on our first time. ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to have sex four or five times in one night?

Q.   I was having a lighthearted chat with my boyfriend this morning about first-time sex. I'm a virgin, he's not, and after almost a year together we're planning to go through with it soon. So we were talking about condoms etc. and to cut a long sto...

A.   26 November 2011: It is more than possible as everyone has already proved. But it does depend on the male. His diet, fitness etc plays a huge role in all that. My ex would manage 4-5 times a WEEK if I was lucky because he had a poor diet and rarely exercised. My ... (read in full...)

I love her . Loved helping her. But she hurts me so much. Does this sound like a relationship with a future?

Q.   Hi, So Me (17) and my Gf (14) have been going out for 6 months, I have always done everything I could for her, Bought her games to play when her mum was drunk, Spent weekends out with her. Did everything I could for her. I even managed to get her ...

A.   10 September 2011: Your girlfriend is insecure. If she hasn't had a very supportive, loving upbringing then she isn't coping with the affection you are rightfully giving her. She's not used to it and doesn't know what to do with it so she's pushing you away, realising ... (read in full...)

Does this dream mean I could be pregnant?

Q.   I dreamt i was with my high school friend that i haven't seen in 7 years. In the dream she told me "wow you're pregnant congrats!" when i woke up i was excited, but now i'm feeling down. Do dreams have any meaning? Am i pregnant? ...

A.   27 August 2011: Dreams do have meanings but no in a literal sense. Dreaming of being pregnant often symbolises a new life or new beginning in your life. It doesn't mean you're pregnant. If you've had any other symptoms though it's best to take a test. But the... (read in full...)

I haven't had a period for 5 months. Is this normal?

Q.   I've been on my period for about 5 times they were normal and my last period was in March and I haven't been on it since. Is there anything wrong with me or is it just normal?...

A.   26 August 2011: Assuming you've not had sexual intercourse at all within those five months (ruling out the chance of pregnancy) then it could be normal, or it could be something much more serious. Either way you need to see your doctor. If it's something serious ... (read in full...)

What's wrong with my boyfriend?

Q.   I'm 14 and my boyfriends 16 soon, he wants to have sex but I'm not sure I do, he's not a virgin but I am! He always gets drunk and high, it dosent bother me usually but recently he feels me up and sticks his hands down my pants and top in front of ...

A.   25 August 2011: Your 'boyfriend' is going through a very traumatic time right now. No one should ever lose their parent at such a young age. He needs help and not just a shoulder to cry on. He's turned to drink and drugs and seemingly sex and violence to ease his ... (read in full...)

My boyfriends penis is too big

Q.   I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now but its becomming increasingly difficult for me. The problem is honestly that his penis is really big. The most comfortable position for us to have sex is him on top and whilst thats enjoyabl...

A.   25 August 2011: Ok...urmmm I rattled my brain for a while and came up with a few possible solutions. 1) You didn't really bring this point up - but are you using enough foreplay? Make sure you do plenty this'll help you relax more meaning you're not so tight. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to do more, but I am not ready! How do I tell him, and how do I stop hating myself?

Q.   (Mod note: the question is edited to remove details.) My boyfriend and I made a mistake and went too far (still a virgin, but it went too far). I regret it. I guess I was trying to grow up fast. It was so, so stupid. I'm worried about what oth...

A.   24 August 2011: It was only natural for you to get curious and for things to heat up and go too far. It's OK for you to not want things to go further. If he respects you he will understand your wishes. Now for the big stuff. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't hate yours... (read in full...)

My low self esteem makes me crave the attention of guys

Q.   I'm worried my low self estime will make me do something I regret. The only way I can feel good about myself is if a guy wants me. I don't think i'm very pretty so whenever guys at parties try and get with me I always just make out with them because ...

A.   24 August 2011: I know exactly how you feel. I used to (and I sometimes still do) feel like I needed a guy's attention to feel better about myself. I had very little self worth or respect when I was in Secondary school and I often did as I was asked by boys. N... (read in full...)

Is it TOO big?

Q.   hi all, im new to this whole thing but am hoping someone can help me find some answers. I am 19 and have a 9 and a half inch penis.i feel it is too large as many girls are unable to have sex with me or tell me it hurts. Am i really too big and is t...

A.   24 August 2011: Some guys would dream of having one that big. But they do tend to forget that us girls aren't superwomen and we have our limits as you've discovered. The porn industry especially displays men with larger penises as being more superior and mor... (read in full...)

I want my wife to have sex with other men

Q.   I want my wife to have sex with other men.This wife is #2, we have been married for 14 years, and in year 2 or 3 she said she has never had a orgasm in her life.She was in her late 30's when we got married, she has been with i guess 15 or so men ...

A.   21 August 2011: I think you should stop thinking of your wife as your ex wife. They are two different people. You should have enough respect for your wife to not want to pass her around the neighbourhood like a sex toy. She is married to YOU she clearly loves YOU. ... (read in full...)

Am I experiencing a phantom pregnancy?

Q.   Recently my body has been acting REALLY weirdly. My stomach has bloated out by a HUGE amount (I keep getting asked if I'm pregnant it's that bad) and it's rock hard. I honestly look 6 months pregnant. I'm getting cravings for strawberries, my boobs ...

A.   31 July 2011: I did wonder if it was a food intolerance but this is the first time I've ever had it and I haven't eaten anything i don't usually eat. I've been swollen for almost two days now and it's not going down. As for pain - there isn't any it's just... (read in full...)

Am I experiencing a phantom pregnancy?

Q.   Recently my body has been acting REALLY weirdly. My stomach has bloated out by a HUGE amount (I keep getting asked if I'm pregnant it's that bad) and it's rock hard. I honestly look 6 months pregnant. I'm getting cravings for strawberries, my boobs ...

A.   31 July 2011: We've only ever had protected sex apart from that one time. The last time I had sex before my ex was a few months before that. I just find it weird I've ALL OF A SUDDEN gone big and been having symptoms. I've been having all my periods regularl... (read in full...)

Do women really enjoy having fingers in their mouths?

Q.   A common thing in porn is for the man to put his fingers in the mouth of the woman during foreplay. I have never done this in my sex life. Is this something women enjoy? ...

A.   12 July 2011: Maybe I'm just into strange stuff compared to other girls (I have quite a male attitude towards sex) but I personally find it hot, it gives you something to bite, suck, lick or whatever. If it's not his fingers, I use my own. My boyfriend does it ... (read in full...)

What do my b/f's comments during sex mean?

Q.   Hi all. Your insights plz?I have been with my bf for about four months,and during sex he often tells me not to give myself to any other man,and not to give my private part to any other man. Why does he say this? Is he possesive? How should I take ...

A.   12 July 2011: If he was to say "I wouldn't want you to run off with another man because I love you" would that be possessive? That is basically what he is saying just worded differently. Isn't it perfectly natural to want your partner for yourself? Surely... (read in full...)

Will my next sexual encounter be painful??

Q.   ok i had sex too year ago i have only been with one "ex" partner but i have a new partner now whice i love so much and im planning of haveing sex very soon but i am a bit scared will it be sore or will i bleed again will my vigina be like a virgin ...

A.   9 July 2011: You won't be 'virgin' again but it might be a little painful. Maybe not so much as your first time however. In regards to bleeding. It's unlikely you will bleed again although sometimes the hymen can reheal. As far as I'm aware this is quite ra... (read in full...)

She says I was her first for everything except phone sex!

Q.   ok so i feel bad for not trusting my girlfriend but every story iv heard about peoples first times and such dont match when we first had sex and she swears up and down she was a virgin weve been dating for 2 years and 4 months i found out about 6-8 ...

A.   22 June 2011: Although you might find it hard to trust her it doesn't mean she is lying. Ok, so your first time might've been different to other people's but not everyone has the same experiences. I know my first time was COMPLETELY different to my friend's... (read in full...)

I can't quite figure out what to do!

Q.   I have a friend who told me he loved me and we have a lot in common . . . I really like him. I'm a virgin and he is not and I don't know if I can be with him now because of it. I wanted a virgin boyfriend, and I look at him differently for it, I ...

A.   19 May 2011: Personally I think virginity isn't just physical but mental. I lost my virginity to a rape and, ok, that was different to his situation, but I still count mine and my boyfriend's first time as the time I lost my virginity. Doing it for ... (read in full...)

Am I gay? Or is it a fetish?

Q.   i am a young lad an iv always believed i am straight ive slept with quite a few girls an never really questioned my sexuality until the last year or so. it started when i was told by a friend about his girlfriend slipping a finger up...

A.   21 April 2011: I think the better question would be Are you gay or curious? As fetish isn't really the right way to look at this. Having a fetish for gay sex is practically saying you are gay or bisexual. For the time being I would say you are merely curious. ... (read in full...)

She said "DO U WANNA"? Is she asking me out or does she just want to have sex with me?

Q.   Okay so my girl best friend and I are really great friends. Last 5 months, She told me that she's Bi and I told her that I'm bi too. So today, Things got kinda awkward.. We were chatting online and she kept telling me this question like DO U WANN...

A.   3 April 2011: It seems to me if she's not being specific she's hinting at sex but she's maybe either shy, embarrassed or even unsure. She might be being vague because she doesn't want to come out and directly suggest anything. Maybe try asking her in a flirty ... (read in full...)

I need money. Is gay porn the answer? I don't want to cheat on my GF.

Q.   hello, i am in serious dept, i haven't got a job and have £103 every 2 weeks. with my balance being so high I cant make the next step with my girl friend. i watched a program on MTV about porn stars lives, there was a guy on there whom who was ...

A.   29 March 2011: Firstly you need to think about it seriously. Yes the money sounds great and everything, but if you're a straight man you need to seriously think about whether you'd actually be able to bring yourself to have sex with another man. Personal... (read in full...)

I feel ready to lose my virginity, but am I wrong to think this way?

Q.   I am a 15 year old Christian girl who likes to take a, as my mom would say "ride on the wild side". and lately i've had one thing on my mind when im near my bf. well actually more then one but them all leading to the same thing. SEX I am a virgin a...

A.   28 March 2011: It's natural for you to think like that. As a teenager your hormones are racing and you're head is completely messed up. At 15 I felt exactly the same way but I waited a little longer and I lost my virginity not long after turning 16. Virginit... (read in full...)

He's only affectionate when he wants sex.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for just more than 4 and a half years.we have been intimate from the begining and still are. The problem is that he only touch me if we are in bed or on our way to bed. Other times he'll only hold my hand. ...

A.   27 March 2011: I don't want to jump to the wrong conclusions but to me it could be one of two things. 1) He has trouble with affection and the only way he really knows how to express his feelings is sexually. or 2) He's using you for sex. Now ideally ... (read in full...)

My boy friend has already had sex and now that I know this, how do I approach him now that I know this?

Q.   hey i just found out from my boyfriend's friend that he nearly had sex with his ex. he is only 14 and she was 13. apparently they didn't have it because he forgot condoms. i really don't know what to say, i don't know how i should approach him now?...

A.   27 March 2011: Well maybe you should casually ask him. If this is bothering you then you need to just drop it into conversation. Maybe talk about past experiences or something. If you're afraid that he'll be looking for sex with you and you don't want that then ... (read in full...)

He has trouble getting inside me during sex

Q.   Im 19 Im in a commited relationship with my boyfriend where both virgins and are ready and want to have sex but when we try he has trouble getting it in and after a couple of attempts im soar and cant continue .We have no idea what to do,Weve done ...

A.   27 March 2011: Firstly, using a condom will help reduce friction and also they have lube on them to help him in easier. You might want to look into extra lube too. If you say you've tried foreplay then keep at that. Maybe you should 'prepare' more first? Getting ... (read in full...)

Can you suggest a way to make having sex less painful??

Q.   Okay this question strictly applies to sex ; theres no relationship problems involved. So if anyone has knowledge about this please respond. Okay, i'm a young female and whenever I lost my virginity two years ago. And i've had sex since. However, ...

A.   27 March 2011: I was very tight for my first 7 or 8 times. You just kinda stretch out the more you do it. Try and relax more. Use lots and lots of foreplay. Like a few people have already suggested, oral sex for either of you will especially help 'natural... (read in full...)

Planning for the future -- how bad is the first time?

Q.   i know this sounds stupid, but I'm genuinely curious... exactly how painful is sex? i mean, does it compare to anything? i plan in saving myself until I'm 18, or even marriage. but i still wont to know because knowing me, I'll hate it and prob...

A.   27 March 2011: My ' first time' lasted a matter of seconds because I couldn't bare the pain. My second time (with the same guy as before) hurt too but soon it numbed and then it was just plain boring. It completely put me off sex for ages because I just t... (read in full...)

He has a perfect body and I'm insecure about mine.

Q.   Hello everyone, I think it would be best if I just ... got straight into it. I am a virgin, and nothing is changing that anytime soon - not even my boyfriend (regardless of how he stands on the subject). However, I do believe that considering my m...

A.   27 March 2011: Let me start by saying - there is NOTHING wrong with your size. The reason 14/16 is 'fat' is all down to media and unhealthy, anorexic models. Us girls are completely guilty of trying to look like Cheryl Cole or whoever but your boyfriend is with ... (read in full...)

Should I shave my pubic hair?

Q.   [Mod note: Combined two questions] i was talking to my male friend who said that girls should only have hair on their head, arms and eyes/brows. the problem is i have pubic hair, i am 13 nearly 14, should i be shaving ? i am really scared to shave...

A.   27 March 2011: Until you get into a sexually active relationship and you're showing that area to someone else don't even worry about it. I didn't start bothering with mine until me and my boyfriend became sexually active. Also, some guys prefer differen... (read in full...)

I can't stop craving a baby! Is there a way to put it on hold?

Q.   I have always wanted a baby but it's got to the point where I'm literally craving one. I know this is long but it's the full story so you can give more suitable advice :) Me and my boyfriend are both 17 and although we are young, babies ha...

A.   27 March 2011: Side note: My actual question is how to stop the craving more than advice against being a teen mum. Despite all the cravings and desperate needs I know it's best I wait a while. I just need some advice on controlling this before I let it take over ... (read in full...)

I can't stop craving a baby! Is there a way to put it on hold?

Q.   I have always wanted a baby but it's got to the point where I'm literally craving one. I know this is long but it's the full story so you can give more suitable advice :) Me and my boyfriend are both 17 and although we are young, babies ha...

A.   27 March 2011: Celtic_tiger - I completely see where you are coming from and I know I'm young but I do have qualifications already, a job, I pay for all my own things (I pay rent which includes bills etc) I can drive and I get regular income. I don't particularly ... (read in full...)

Why do people curse during sex?

Q.   Will someone please tell me why men or people in general curse during sex? When guys do it, it makes me feel like I'm hurting them or something. I've never felt the need to yell expletives during the's something I have trouble relating ...

A.   27 March 2011: My boyfriend doesn't curse but I do and he HATES it. I don't even know I'm doing it until I've actually done it either. I just let go and it's what slips out. It also depends if they curse in natural converstation too I guess :)... (read in full...)

Is it normal to cry after masturbation?

Q.   Is it normal to just get sad and burst into tears after masterbating? I was thinking of my boyfriend and then when i stoped i got really sad and just started crying like a big baby, whats wrong with me?...

A.   26 March 2011: This happened to me once, but it was because I was thinking of some famous guy I like and then I thought of my boyfriend, felt guilty and burst into tears! When you're masturbating/horny your hormones are extremely high and you are incredib... (read in full...)

*upid_or_Stupid's friends

These are mutual friends, so *upid_or_Stupid has added them and they have added *upid_or_Stupid!

Cupid_or_Stupid agony auntCupid_or_Stupid
Honeypie agony auntHoneypie
Sings_alot_chicky agony auntSings_alot_chicky

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft