Emotional affair has me wondering if I should walk
Q. Hi all, I have posted sometime ago concerning being married and talking to a new guy. I decided that love is a choice and I needed to forgive my husband and work on our marriage. However, when I look at my husband, I feel like I am falling out o...
A. 2 August 2022: See OP,
People give advice on the POST they read, we DO NOT know all the ins and outs of your marriage. We can not read your mind and we DO not have a crystal ball.
YOU left out a MAJOR (or actually many MAJOR) parts, such as your husband's s... (read in full...)
Have I romanticized him too much?
Q. Hello, I've been talking to this man from Greece for a year now. We've met online and we both like each other and planning to see each other in Christmas since he's coming to the US to see me. This man is sweet, kind and respectful, sometimes too ...
A. 1 August 2022:
I love the generalization of "European men"! As a European woman, I find that European men are far more open and honest about what they are looking for and what they are willing to invest. They can talk about feelings and are great listeners. But ... (read in full...)
Have I romanticized him too much?
Q. Hello, I've been talking to this man from Greece for a year now. We've met online and we both like each other and planning to see each other in Christmas since he's coming to the US to see me. This man is sweet, kind and respectful, sometimes too ...
A. 1 August 2022: test
... (read in full...)
I know he likes me back and there's sexual attraction but then why did he say that he's not looking for a girlfriend right now?
Q. Hi! So there's this guy I like and I know he likes me back. We can both feel the sexual attraction between us. We've been talking and texting for about 3 weeks now and we've got really close. He's not someone who texts a lot but since we've beco...
A. 30 July 2022: You need to LISTEN to what he says.
"I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now. I would love to kiss you, but it's not the smartest decision."
HE is not looking for a GFBut he enjoys talking to you and helping you.
He doesn't WANT to da... (read in full...)
Am I taking advantage of a young man's ego unfairly?
Q. I am feeling a little guilty taking advantage of a young man's ego, but he is fully aware of the situation and seems perfectly OK with what is happening. I would appreciate some independent feedback even if it is critical of some of my choices. ...
A. 30 July 2022: He is a 22-year-old little Narcissus :)
(note, NOT calling him a narcissist)
"In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia who was known for his beauty. According to Tzetzes, he rejected all romantic advances, eventu... (read in full...)
Repeat wedding
Q. I need advice to see if I’m being unreasonable. I got engaged in 2019 and was planning to marry in 2021 as I found a beautiful venue that was out of budget but my fiancé and I had planned to work extra hard to save up as we both loved the p...
A. 30 July 2022: "Am I being unreasonable?"
Not really.
But...
I think your husband is right. I also think it's a waste of time. You are already married. Even if you DID spend a lot of money and planned a "dream wedding" stuff might still ruin it and it mig... (read in full...)
Emotional affair has me wondering if I should walk
Q. Hi all, I have posted sometime ago concerning being married and talking to a new guy. I decided that love is a choice and I needed to forgive my husband and work on our marriage. However, when I look at my husband, I feel like I am falling out o...
A. 30 July 2022: "The thing is, it should've come naturally. Idk if my husband is being genuine or just manipulative to keep me."
No, it really doesn't just come "natural" to everyone.
Some people feel that the COMMITMENT shows that your husband wants to... (read in full...)
Do I quit flirting with the guy at work?
Q. So there’s this guy that I work with and I have an incurable crush on him! the problem is that I don’t know if I should keep sending flirting signs or just give it a rest. I don’t know if he’s just oblivious and clueless or if he is simply just not ...
A. 30 July 2022: Firstly, he IS a stranger (even if you work at the same company). You have NO idea if he is married, engaged, gay, or just not interested.
Secondly, this is your workplace, not a "dating club". YOU are there to work, to be professional, not to f... (read in full...)
How do I leave hm?
Q. I’m looking for some relationship advice as I’m feeling like it is deflating. We’ve been together for almost 9 years and have a 3 year old son. Things first started changing when our son was 9 months old, we found ourselves in lockdown due to ...
A. 28 July 2022: "I know I will get answers like ‘talk to him’ - but I’ve tried, so many times. "
No, talking doesn't fix this. At all.
IT IS abuse "even if he doesn't hit you". And yes your son will learn this behavior. He has already picked up a few of thos... (read in full...)
Will he toy with me?
Q. There’s this boy I like, let’s call him M. I met him through social media a year ago, and even if we live 400 km apart, I’ve managed to see him in person twice. We have talked a lot and have also sent nudes to each other. Then there is this ot...
A. 27 July 2022: Exactly this,
"You don’t accidentally have sex with someone for 5 hours."
OP, you know what's up here. M might like you but you live far away and he wants intimacy/sex on the regular and with a distance of 400 KM it's just not viable with you.... (read in full...)
Why has he not asked me to be his girlfriend?
Q. My male friend say things like you aren't going anywhere and you not like other women before he was saying the opposite he was to busy or he can't be boyfriend material because of his busy schedule now he's spending the weekends with me he has asked ...
A. 27 July 2022: I think you need to consider 2 things.
1. this is still rather "new" with the dating for you two. So maybe just try and go slow and enjoy it without putting TOO many expectations on him, just yet. But if you ARE looking for a partner, not just som... (read in full...)
How do I get him to be like when we first met
Q. I have just entered into a exclusive relationship with a guy I've been talking to on and off for about 2 years. Everything was going well until he got into a car accident and totaled his car.We have officially been together a week. He's asked to...
A. 26 July 2022: End it and walk away now.
The guy you first met was his "best foot forward act" not who he is.
Take your keys back to the car. End it with him (I would do it over the phone because he is acting really sketchy) and then DELETE and BLOCK the fi... (read in full...)
Pros and cons of marriage
Q. As anyone ever done the pros and cons of a marriage. I did with my husband many years ago, he done the same with me. He done his he said because I told him I had done mine on him. I came up with more cons then pros on my list. I was surprise...
A. 25 July 2022: I have always thought the notion of "renewing" vows is bogus.
UNLESS the vows were "broken" and you had to reaffirm the vows. As in, someone cheated or something like that.
It's like Valentine's day - another way for people to spend money.
... (read in full...)
Is this behaviour normal ?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to be in “love” with someone and start dating someone else within few days of a fight and completely giving up on their partner , saying they will try to be friends now. This guy I fell for had a fallout with me and got a ne...
A. 25 July 2022: OP, don't feel bad for thinking he might be a great guy.
You did the right thing when you saw how he behaved. You welcomed him into your life. And he played you, like he plays everyone else. Even himself.
You had known him as a friend for 3 yea... (read in full...)
Is this behaviour normal ?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to be in “love” with someone and start dating someone else within few days of a fight and completely giving up on their partner , saying they will try to be friends now. This guy I fell for had a fallout with me and got a ne...
A. 23 July 2022: OP
It's a HUGE red flag when someone calls EVERYONE else toxic or crazy.
He dates women from his friend group - that is another red flag. That is what a LAZY guy will do. He just goes after the closest and (pardon) easiest "prey". Which wo... (read in full...)
Ghosted after 3 dates and sex. want him back.
Q. I (33F) met my dream man (40M) in a dating app. He ticked all the boxes and I was smitten. We went on 3 dates and had sex twice. I never had sex before with anyone outside of an exclusive committed relationship so he was special to me. I know he is ...
A. 22 July 2022: OP
You don't know the guy. You met him on a dating app. He might have lied about EVERYTHING, so saying he "ticked all your boxes" is well, a little silly. Because no, you can't know that ANYTHING he told is true. OR you have a very short "list". ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isnt jealous at all. Is that normal?
Q. This is gonna sound strange and like I'm completely overthinking things, but my boyfriend is NOT the jealous type at all. I don't know whether or not this is a really good thing or if deep down he doesn't really care that much for our relationship. ...
A. 22 July 2022: "Is this normal? Surely nobody can be that laid back about this kind of thing?".
I think it's actually HEALTHY to not be jealous. I don't feel like it means he doesn't care.
I don't know your guy but, I would presume that HE feels secure wit... (read in full...)
Boyfriend stays with me most of the tije but says its too soon to move in. No help with bills!
Q. Ok so, this is probs going to be a strange one but here we go. So I’ve been with my boyfriend since Feb this year, met in November last year. For weeks now he has been staying at mine (I have my own place) to start with it was a few days a week but ...
A. 21 July 2022: There is a BIG difference in him "just" staying and him moving in. BIG.
For one, he would HAVE to share the costs and expenses of SHARING a place.
Secondly, he would be responsible for chores the same as you.
And 3, he isn't a "guest" any l... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always tries to throw me out when I try to communicate my feelings
Q. Every time we have an argument my boyfriend grabs all my things and throws them all over the floor and puts them in bags by the door and tells me to get out. He grabs me by the wrist and hurts my wrist trying to drag me to the door. This happens ...
A. 19 July 2022: I will echo mystiquek, THIS is abuse!
WHY do you keep dating him, keep going back?
You are like a dog whose owner kicks him thinking "this must be love"!
No, it's not! It's ABUSE!
"He makes me feel like trash."
Because he is TREATIN... (read in full...)
How do I end sexual affair with boss who wants more?
Q. I have created a really messed up situation with my regional sales manager at work. We both did wrong but now I am stuck and not sure how to untangle it all without damaging my future. Even though I resent some things that have happened I am also ...
A. 19 July 2022: Well, didn't you just screw the pooch?!
My advice is this, LOOK for a new job or position where you do NOT work directly with her.
Sure you could take it to HR, and I WOULD, IF she keeps "blackmailing" you for sex.
Her threat of taking ... (read in full...)
Married unhappy and falling for another man
Q. Looking for advice Hi I am a married woman with two grown up children. My husband and I have been under pressure with various things going on I suspected he fancied other women at times which he didn't deny. We do try and work at out marriage.I a...
A. 18 July 2022: What people always seem to forget is that anyone (yes, ANYONE) who is willing to cheat on a spouse has NO respect for their spouse, little respect for themselves and other people.
No one is "HAPPY" 24/7, whether married or single. It's just not... (read in full...)
No sex in 5 years
Q. My wife and i havent had sex in five years, i would like to try and get her excited enough to have a go, how should i approche the issue and will it hurt her after so long, iam willing to try anything....
A. 18 July 2022: Well, first off, do you know WHY you aren't having sex anymore? And why it's been 5 years?
What happened 5 years ago?
Maybe that is a starting point.
Also, why would it hurt HER to tell her you miss intimacy with her?... (read in full...)
Dont know if marriage can be saved
Q. I am feeling so angry and hurt. I love my husband, as to why I still do, I really don't know. I want my children to have a household with both parents present. But is sacrificing my happiness worth it? In my marriage there have been happy times...
A. 15 July 2022: Well, first of all, let's start with the obvious.
You are BOTH drinking around the kids? And then arguing?
Seems like you didn't FORGIVE him. You two just stuck that "babymomma and baby" under the rug.
Forgiveness means that you do NOT ho... (read in full...)
Friends come first
Q. I shall try and keep this as short as possible, but my boyfriend does not spend any time with me. However, he will happily make time for his friends. We have been dating for a few years now and like many relationships, we had our honeymoon pha...
A. 15 July 2022: OK, OP
What EFFORT does he put into the relationship? Any at all?
He goes out of his way to go hiking with his dad so YOU can dog-sit? While working from home?
He doesn't want to cuddle on the couch for a movie anymore.
He doesn't w... (read in full...)
Want a little bit more of her. I'm 14, She is 13.
Q. So, Lets start this simple. I am 14. She is 13. We have known each other for a while now. So Far we have just kissed, But I would love to get under her shirt. I am unsure if I should do this just yet. But I really want to... Please help...
A. 10 July 2022: Keep your mitts to yourself, OP
She is ONLY 13. I know a year doesn't seem like much but you need to not PUSH your WANTS unto her. Or make her feel she HAS to DO things she doesn't really feel ready for.
If you REALLLLLLLY care for her, slow do... (read in full...)
Thank you for dear cupid
Q. Hi all, Today is my birthday and I am happy to be in a new lovely country working at a dream come true organisation. I would also like to celebrate with all the wonderful people who make it a success, including this wonderful platform of advi...
A. 10 July 2022: Congratulations! I hope your life keeps getting better!
... (read in full...)
I am not sure if I am ready to see him
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm dating this boy Christian Bristol and we've been dating for almost 7 months and he's been telling me that he'll see me after he's done getting his truck fixed and he's also told me that he can't wait to see me. I don't know if I'...
A. 10 July 2022: If you are not sure if you are ready to see him yet, tell him.
Also, if he is coming to visit he doesn't plan on staying WITH you, does he? If so, I'd alter those plans too. Because what If you two don't click at all?
And remember HE is s... (read in full...)
My boyfriend still speaks to his ex
Q. Background context; my boyfriend has told me he still occasionally speaks to his ex girlfriend via social media. They broke up nearly 3 years ago, mostly due to the distance (she’s Canadian, he lives in the UK). Although it was quite a volatile ...
A. 10 July 2022: Here is the thing, OP
You wouldn't keep talking to exes because YOU feel that is inappropriate in a new relationship. HE isn't you. He obviously doesn't feel the same way about this.
So, what does that mean?
It means that on ONE level you tw... (read in full...)
Should I report my friend?
Q. I'm in a quandary and would appreciate advice. For over two decades I've been friends with someone that I can no longer be friends with. The friend continually interrupts me and very often talks down to me, making me feel not good enough. ...
A. 10 July 2022: "Do I simply walk away from the whole thing and try to forget about her?"
I would.
It's going to be hard for YOU to prove she doesn't live with her dad and I doubt the Government has the time and people to look into whether or not she committe... (read in full...)
What do I do with ridiculously cute new straight friend?
Q. I am an openly gay 17m and I am very lucky to go to a school where there is a lot of acceptance and encouragement and I feel surrounded by allies. I was surprised especially how some of the notorious jocks and aggressively straight guys handled it. ...
A. 8 July 2022: "I cannot tell what is going on in David’s cute little head. Is he gay or bi and just not ready to admit it? "
No, he told you, HE is straight or perhaps rather he WANTS to be straight. He is 14. A child, OP. His "sexuality" is not up for debate. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask new BF to let me measure his manhood?
Q. There is a thing in my friend group right now where the girls are comparing their boyfriend’s size like a dare where everyone is supposed to personally measure it while their guy is having an erection. They have gotten very detailed with the rules ...
A. 8 July 2022:
EVERY man out there worries about not being big enough, thick enough, or whatever standard PORN tells them their penis should be, do you really think they want their GF to measure them so they can TELL all their friends?
Are you serious? Did... (read in full...)
Does he want a girlfriend or a babysitter
Q. Dear cupids, I started hanging out with this guy I met in college a year ago off and on. I was just getting out of relationship and although we discussed being exclusive briefly ;I never took things seriously. One thing led to another and we s...
A. 8 July 2022: I'm not sure if he just wants a babysitter or an instant family. It IS convenient for him to have YOU spend the night there when he works. As it saves HIM money and he knows his son is with someone he trusts.
"He really wants me to be a mother f... (read in full...)
My mistress is now my life partner but she is always worried I will cheat on her. How can I get her to finally trust me?
Q. I am going to need some help here. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 10 years. I met her as a married man, which is when we got involved. We both know having an affair was wrong so I won’t need critiquing on our past mistakes. We ...
A. 8 July 2022: Easy answer, OP
You can't.
It's really that simple.
She knows you were willing to cheat on someone you had married, so why not cheat on her too when you get bored or "insert whatever reason"?
Does it mean that you WILL cheat? No. Nothing... (read in full...)
Talking about sex in a way that wont cause anxiety
Q. Hi! My question is basically this: How do I talk with my husband about sex without hurting his feelings? We’ve been together for 17 years (we are 45 now). At the beginning, as is always the case, things were fine. OK, I’ll be honest, when I s...
A. 3 July 2022: Could be he needs to see a doctor. Not being able to keep an erection can be a sign of illness.
Or he is JUST not all that interested in sex and never really was?
I get that he is anxious and overthink things (sounds like a version of OCD) ... (read in full...)
Friend came onto me I rejected now hes making things uncomfortable
Q. I want to know what to do .. I used to run a support group for families with disabled children from my sons school but although this stop 2 yrs ago . I am still very involved in helping or even being friends with some of the families.. me and my h...
A. 3 July 2022: I'd tell him if he doesn't stop YOU will have to exclude HIM from the group. His wife and their child will still be welcome.
To be very frank, OP - I think you need to call the wife and ask her to no longer bring her husband as you feel uncomfor... (read in full...)
Is just an excuse?
Q. I get on with most people but this is the first time that has ever happened to me. I’ve been friends with a female for two years, who I know in life. we have never fallen out and she respects me. this is where things get weird, I messaged susie for ...
A. 2 July 2022: "should I just tell her where to go?"
You call her a friend? A friend would WANT to hear from you. Would want to reach out to you too and keep in touch.
Personally? I would consider her an EX-friend. Block her, Unfriend her, And remove your... (read in full...)
Troubled work situation
Q. Hi guys, I work part-time in a firm. My job and my hours make it difficult for me to get to know my colleagues (I have tried!). I come, do my hours, and then leave. That’s just how my job is. The only people I know are the guys at the reception...
A. 2 July 2022: Go directly to the Director. Figure out from the "horse's mouth" what is up with your job and hours. I would honestly have gone there as soon as you were told you had your hours cut and that the Director was "responsible" for this "mix-up". Just ... (read in full...)
I gave him my number now worried things will get weird
Q. Hi, I did a very stupid thing. I gave my number to someone I'm not interested in, I'm going to this gym and a new person came and started talking to me. I make it a habit to talk to people because I'm trying to socialize more and all that. He was...
A. 1 July 2022: EDIT!
"Should you lie to him? no. You (should) have to "hide" behind a fictitious BF to avoid talking to someone. It's not your job to "not hurt a guy's feelings". "
Should OF COURSE have been:
Should you lie to him? no. You (shouldn't) have... (read in full...)
Am I I imaginging it?
Q. I met this guy a few months ago and I'm so crazy in love with him. I thought it was a crush and that it would disappear after some time but it didn't. He has a lovely personality and he dances really nicely. The thing is, we haven't talked much so ...
A. 1 July 2022: "The thing is, we haven't talked much so I'm not sure if he likes me or not. "
So it's NOT love you feel.
It's attraction, infatuation, lust, curiosity, and, interest. In short, you have a crush.
TALK to him, get to know him. You will quick... (read in full...)
Give him a chance?
Q. Hi all. I met a guy on Facebook. We've been talking for about three months. He seems like a decent, respectful person. When I saw his profile picture, I was attracted to him. He looks so handsome. Yesterday, while speaking he requested a pict...
A. 30 June 2022: I'd say no.
If he gives you creeped-out vibes (mostly due to how he looks similar to the dodgy pervy tutor) there is probably something else you have picked up on that you are unsure of.
Or if you are really unsure, HAVE a video call/facet... (read in full...)
I gave him my number now worried things will get weird
Q. Hi, I did a very stupid thing. I gave my number to someone I'm not interested in, I'm going to this gym and a new person came and started talking to me. I make it a habit to talk to people because I'm trying to socialize more and all that. He was...
A. 30 June 2022: "I do have an inability to say no."
Time to practice!
If you can tell him no thanks to going to certain classes, you CAN tell a guy no to giving out your number.
I had to teach my daughters that it's PERFECTLY OK to not give out your number... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't think I am any fun
Q. My partner and I ended up getting in a fight last night. We were at a baseball game and he was drinking and wanted to rent one of those standing scooters to take home all of a sudden. I’d never done this before and wasn’t comfortable but he kept ...
A. 30 June 2022: He is manipulating you, picking at YOUR insecurities of feeling that you aren't "good enough" for him.
You think that when he says you are lame, then you HAVE to do whatever he wants, in order to NOT be "lame". And what happened? YOU got hurt!
... (read in full...)
How do I get over the guilt? I want out of my marriage
Q. Hi everyone, I have been married for 8 years and after a long and happy marriage, my husband and I are separating. Even though the marriage was happy, towards the end we had started fighting way too much and too often. and even though we still ...
A. 29 June 2022: You have brought up suggestions and he shots them down, which means he isn't looking to try and fix anything.
No, he hasn't changed. He just wants YOU to suck it up and get on with it.
DO the trial separation. While you are separated focus ... (read in full...)
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