A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married nine years and have kids. Sex is not as adventurous as I'd like but things are fine. Better than fine. I Iove my wife and enjoy a wonderful family life. Then I go and get drunk at a conference and have some sexy action with a woman I know. Not 'full sex' as we used to say as kids but pretty raunchy... and she was wild. Talked real dirty!She's also married with kids. We're both feeling very guilty and yet flirting with the idea of one afternoon of never to be repeated passion.I strongly suspect the sex will be awesome.Should I go for it? Am I being ridiculously naive? How wrong is this?Life is short... why not have this one adventure?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): You're being naive, and rationalizing at that. Yes, it would be THAT wrong. How indeed would you feel to find out that the reason your sex life is, well, not as great as you'd like, is because *your wife* has also thought this, and has solved her issue just as you plan to - how's your marital life working out, by the way?..
You'll wind up making comparisions, and your wife will be the loser. Not good. Why not take serious stock of what you believe is missing, and start a quiet talk with your wife about it. You may be pleasantly suprised that she feels the same way, welcomes your interest in improving your *joint* sex life, and her admiration/respect/love for you will increase as you show your leadership of your sexual partnership by trying new things with each other, asking about fantasies, etc - AS A COUPLE.
For every problem there's a solution that quick, easy and wrong. Your idea is all of these.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Just imagine if your wife was the one secretly considering doing this behind your back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Cheating is wrong. If you want adventure tell your wife. You have already crossed a line. I'm sure your wife want find what you are doing an adventure. If you love your wife so much, why are you thinking about doing something that you know will cause her pain? My husband cheated on me and believe me it was horrible.
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A
male
reader, Jagz901  +, writes (15 July 2008):
Hi. What keeps you away right now is the guilt that is attached, your love for your wife and family and your responsibilities as a father/husband. Once these shackles are broken, you will find that One afternoon roll in the hay to be a permanent fixture of your life. There won't be any looking back then. One orgasm has a lot to loose. You wont be yourself again. Do you really wanna risk all that you have, for something momentary and forbidden? It wont be 'That Wrong' but 'Very Wrong'. Think if your wife was to do it, how would you feel!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Yes it's wrong....Go over your vows when you got married. Oncee again, Yes it is WRONG, very WRONG!!
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A
female
reader, diamondgal  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Yes, VERY wrong.
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (15 July 2008):
 DO you love your wife? Do you wana be with her or the other one? Do you respect your wife ?
Do not ruin perfect marriage that you have! You will feel horrible after you do it. Now it seems like an adventure, because its not "real" but imagine it was real ... be happy with your wife! Mayeb change your sexlife a lil and do something different to feel "adventurous" w your wife .. you dont need another woman for that
Good luck
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A
female
reader, shell15 +, writes (14 July 2008):
Hi there,
Basically I am going to beg you not to do this. I have just been through my husband cheating and it was the most horrifying experience you could ever imagine. There is no excuse in this world for walking into a situation like this. It doesn't even matter if your wife finds out or not, how could you show such little respect to someone that is such an important part of your life and I am sure someone who has been a good person to you. If she does find out (and it is amazing how easy it is to get caught with this type of thing) you could destroy her and end up losing everything good you have in your life. It seemed so unfair to me that because of my husbands few minutes of pleasure I ended up having to feel so insecure, empty and unhappy. Not a feeling anyone should inflict on another human being.
Either leave your wife to persue this other woman (but don't expect your wife to ever give you the time of day again OR simply be a real man and do the right thing by the mother of your children. I am sure you couldn't imagine her having such an affair with another man.
This may all sound harsh but these types of actions deserve harsh words. There is not one good thing about doing this!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): Birdynumnums, This is the anonymous guy who posted this question. Your answer is brilliant. Thanks for taking the time to put a mirror to my face. You made me feel stupid and emboldened to do the right thing all at once.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 July 2008):
 Birdy is right as rain, as usual. Are you being ridiculously naive? Yep. How wrong is this? On a scal of 1 to 100, this would be around 225. You want an adventure? Tell the wife what happened at your conference.
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A
female
reader, bebe girlie  +, writes (14 July 2008):
impressive! what do u expect me to answer? you expect anyone to tell u GO FOR IT! cheat on ur wife! .. thats bullshit.. i agree with birdymummnus and what he said...whats wrong with you people? trying to have an adventure with sex.. why not something else? why dont u take ur wife and kids to the Bahamas? Then I might call this adventure! grow up man...
Life is short so make the best out of it .. not the worst out of it..
Babye
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 July 2008):
 Well, you are writing into a website anonymously to try to talk yourself out of feeling guilty about breaking your vows and rationalizing and considering justifying starting an affair with a woman who is ALSO breaking her vows... Have I left anything out? Oh, yes, you have children and love your wife.
And life is short.
Well, it will be if your wife finds out.
Why don't you reread your own letter and figure it out yourself. If you want absolution, go and see a preist. But, don't ask an obvious question that has an obvious answer and expect anyone else to back you up. Marriage is tough at times, and you do obviously love your wife. It's very easy to slip up! Everyone who is married is attracted to another person on ocassion - BUT - It is your actions that define you and your character.
If you are feeling badly now, just imagine how much worse you are going to feel when you start this affair, and remember that all of the consequensces you knew in advance, but you had to go there anyways. I can assure you, it won't be worth it. No matter how hot the sex was, her husband is probably tired of putting up with her shit from time-to-time too and dreaming of someone else too! She won't be nearly as hot with two joint families schedules to co-ordinate and bills to pay. If you want two divorces, this is the way to do it.
The grass is always greener, until it goes up in a brush fire, which incidentally, is what you are planning on starting here.
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