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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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How do I convince a guy who's been with a ton of girls that i'd be Good sexually?
Q. How do I convince this guy, who has been with a ton of girls, think that i'm good sexually? ...
A. 10 April 2011: Amen to Abella. Wait for awhile before making your way into bed. Then your confidence will not be an act. What until you know he really loves you and you have a solid relationship and you'll be comfortable enough to just let it happen. There wo... (read in full...)
How do I convince a guy who's been with a ton of girls that i'd be Good sexually?
Q. How do I convince this guy, who has been with a ton of girls, think that i'm good sexually? ...
A. 9 April 2011: I have the exact same question. He's a player, why do you need to prove how good you are sexually? Do you think that's all he sees you as (a bedmate) and if he thinks you're great in the sack, then he'll like you or spend time with you?
You s... (read in full...)
Girls, thoughts on chewing tobacco?
Q. Quick question for the girls on here. How much would it bother you if your guy dipped. By dip i mean used chewing tobacco. Enough to leave him or view him differently? What if you have been with him a while and you barely find out hes been dipping?...
A. 7 April 2011: I am the same way, Honeypie. Dipping is pretty much the very grossest habit I can possibly imagine. Soooo icky!!!
I don't care how cute he is, that nasty pile of grody spit is ugly enough. Couldn't do it. And if I found out about dipping,... (read in full...)
Boyfriend in service will be away for 7 months and I need ways to cope
Q. Hey All, I know Dear Cuprid isn't necessarily for this type of question but I honestly don't know where else to turn. Many of my questions have been answered from people who genuinely seem to care and I'm hoping it's the same case with this o...
A. 7 April 2011: My husband is also a Marine. I'm 24, he's 28. Since we got married and he went off to Boot Camp, I have barely seen him at all. He just got back from a deployment to Japan today, though I didn't get to see him. I decided that I had to go to school ... (read in full...)
We want a baby, but it's not working. I'm scared a doctor won't approve.
Q. I am 16 going on 17 and me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for months. I have been wanting this for a long time now but nothing is happening. I am willing to do anything for this baby. I am scared if i go to my doctors, he will go ...
A. 7 April 2011: Your body is doing the right thing. By getting pregnant now, you are putting yourself - but perhaps more importantly - your BABY at risk of a slew of health issues. If you are willing to do anything for this baby, you should wait until your body ... (read in full...)
Confused about my friend's ex!
Q. My friend had a boyfriend and they broke up about 3 weeks ago. Now the guy keeps on talking to me and starts saying he loves me. At first I thought it was just one of those normal love you text's but then my other friend told me that he probably...
A. 3 April 2011: Hi Confused,
I think you should be firm and tell this guy that you're not interested. Tangling with a friends (recent) ex is always bad news and can ruin a friendship. Besides, he doesn't really know you - so he cant really "love" you. Love tak... (read in full...)
I want to join the team but I am insecure about my homosexuality.
Q. Dear cupid, I have recently been wanting to join rugby practice for my local team since I have an interest in rugby but I don't have confidence to go :S also I'm not certain but I think some people from my school go there aswel and I don't really ...
A. 31 March 2011: Brother, you can't let your sexuality hold you back. It should hold you back from 100% nothing! You are not defined by your sexuality, you are who you are, and you're a fella who likes playing rugby. That's what matters!
On the field, nobody c... (read in full...)
Should I bother with the guy of my dreams, even if I know he's a jerk?
Q. I know this is really really long, if you ever even end up reading it, but I literally just spent 3 hours reading your column and I think you're absolutely brilliant and would love your advice. You don't even have to post it, just a reply would mean ...
A. 30 March 2011: No, you shouldn't mess with a guy who you KNOW is a jerk, KNOW sleeps around and KNOW has a drug problem. Be as smart as you've been with the other jerks and don't get involved with him. Listen to your gut, not your hormones. Listen to your brain ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly worrying about the comments after a nose job?
Q. I really want to get a nose job for my benefit nobody else! I've thought about it for years and years and I've saved up. My parents said if i want to take the risk then go for it and they will support and look after me when healing process! I'm ...
A. 29 March 2011: Well, I'm up in the air on this one. Because I want you to be happy with yourself as you are. Plastic surgery doesn't fix what is usually a bigger self-esteem issue. So if you are searching for happiness, you will only find it through yourself and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hangs up on me!
Q. I hate it when my boyfriend hangs up on me.... but he does thatt all the time.... i ve explained this to him like 100 times now how insulted i feel about this but he doesnt seem to care n hangs up whenever he feels like widout even acknowledging ...
A. 26 March 2011: I think you did the right thing. Stop calling him back! And if he never calls you again, well then you know exactly how much he cares about you - a.k.a. zip. This guy sound disrespectful and like a horrible partner. I wouldn't waste any more time on ... (read in full...)
What do I say to my daughter who wants birth control?
Q. My 16 year old daughter came up to me last night while I was making dinner and asked for birth control. At first I didn't say anything I was in total shock. Let me give you some back story. She's a good kid. She's no straight A student and she'...
A. 25 March 2011: I think you did just fine. I think you reacted like most parents. You didn't freak out at her or make her feel bad for coming and talking to you. She does sound like a solid girl, and even more so for coming to you and talking about something that ... (read in full...)
Troubled Phonecalls..
Q. Almsot every time me and my boyfriend talk on the phone he ends up mad and i end up sad. How can we fix this? THank you....
A. 21 March 2011: You know what I like about you already? You condensed your entire problem into one sentence. You must be the world's best thesis statement writer.
Does this happen when you two are together in person, or is it just the phone? I'm assuming... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to shower with me but we are virgins and I'm afraid it will lead to sex!
Q. My boyfriend and I are going on a holiday together which means that we are going to stay in the same room. He wants to shower with me but I don't know if I should as we are still virgins and I am afraid that that will lead to sex. Although, we h...
A. 20 March 2011: If you're doing things naked together anyway, then I don't see how a shower would be more leading to sex than say, a naked 69. But if you don't feel good about showing together - don't. If you feel like it will lead places that you don't want to go ... (read in full...)
Girls: why do you get emotional about sex???
Q. Why do girls act like they hate all boys, when they themselves know that the guys they are choosing to be with are known to only use girls for their bodies? This is a question i've been wondering for a while. Girls want sex more than guys. Period. ...
A. 18 March 2011: Chigirl mentioned statistics. Well, I have next to me my handy, up-to-date Psychology textbook that I'm using currently in my 300-level Psych class. These numbers are regarding 15-24 year olds.
"Females learn to link sexual intercourse with lov... (read in full...)
Is he going to ever propose?
Q. Hello everyone. I've got a question about engagement. I am 20 (21 in Sept.), by boyfriend is 21 (22 in Sept.). We have been dating since May of 2009, so will be 2 years here in a few months. My mom got married in October of 2010, and about a month ...
A. 17 March 2011: It's only been two years of you being together. Savor being his girlfriend. You'll be his wife for the rest of time. Cherish being a girlfriend. When my fella proposed (after nearly 4 years), I suddenly had this wave of mourning being a ... (read in full...)
How do I wean myself off him?
Q. This is a bit of a strange question. I'm in a relationship and we've been together over 2 years. It has recently become apparent to me that I might be a tad more emotionally invested in the relationship than he is. I don't want to break up with him. ...
A. 15 March 2011: I'd suggest simply getting involved with something new! The busier I am, the less time I have to get emotionally hooked on something. The more time you have available is time for your brain to get invested and dwell on him. And besides, if you get ... (read in full...)
I need ideas on what to cook for him that's really special!
Q. I want to cook my boyfriend something great for dinner :) because he got a new job but not to sure what to cook. He is not picky and likes everything, but I want to cook something, that he will be like wow you cooked this for me?? So I hope you ...
A. 15 March 2011: Go to the store, pick up a couple of cooking magazines and cook whatever looks the yummiest!!! That's what I love to do...
If this will be a romantic, intimate night then remember to b considerate of later things to come *wink wink*... so avoid he... (read in full...)
I don't understand why my parents can't be happy that I've found someone like my boyfriend.
Q. Due to the fact that I am still in high school, my parents disapprove of my relationship. They think it is too serious for my age and that it will keep me from doing things like going to college. Here's the thing, NOTHING will EVER keep me fro...
A. 15 March 2011: Well, I think you should do the opposite of part B. I think you should try to keep the two parts of your life closer together. Have your boyfriend over to dinner more, have everyone go out bowling, or to a minor league baseball game. Maybe your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend leapt away from me like a scalded cat at the very mention of sex!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been unable to have sex as I have been finding it really painful. The last time we had sex was 18 months ago. I found out that a medical condition was causing it which is now cured. We have been satisfying each other in ...
A. 14 March 2011: I wonder if he's afraid of hurting you again, or perhaps he's nervous about his performance since it's been awhile since he's had practice.
Something is definitely on his mind. I don't think it is a lack off attraction to you - after all, you did ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 yet from time to time I long for a baby. Can I get over this?
Q. Hey. So I'm only 16 but sometimes I get like really hormonal and obsessive about having a baby. Its not all the time, but when i do get it its like unbareable - like I just want a baby so badly. Its really scary and upsetting - why do i feel like ...
A. 14 March 2011: I feel you, sister. When I was 16, I wanted a baby sososososososo bad. I think it's due to the hormones kicking around that are preparing you for that very urge - to procreate, to be maternal. Hormones flying around could also explains why the urge ... (read in full...)
How should I dress to play football with guys?
Q. Hey everyone.! :) i need your help guys. Recently, me and my bf have decided to play football together with our friend circle like girls vs. Boys.! But the problem is i am really confused and nervous about it as it would be my first time with him...
A. 11 March 2011: Watch that episode of Friends episode "The One With the Football" - those girls all look pretty cute.
Hair in braids and baseball cap, or a ponytail - get the football-y black stripes under your eyes (paired with mascara, of course). A jersey, ... (read in full...)
Is squirting fake?
Q. Hi guys!! Do women really squirt?? i read many articles stating that it is fake?...
A. 11 March 2011: Some girls do, but it's a lot like guys - some guys cum a LOT, some guys don't. Some girls can squirt quite a bit, but that's pretty rare. Most squirters are more like dribblers. And most women really don't have much ejaculatory fluid and don't ... (read in full...)
How to cure my stretch marks for losing confidence?
Q. I am now being the whole body of my lower parts.I am so sad for that somebody thought that I am not virgin.I am now still virgin and I am now 22 years old.I felt that I looks like 60 years old women.I wanna wear short skirt what should I do? I felt ...
A. 10 March 2011: Hey sweet -
I've heard of Mother's Friend... it may be worth a try, though I've never tried it myself. Also, try Cocoa Butter, that reduces stretch marks. Also, try Jergen's gradual self tanning lotion. That might even out your skin tone a bit, a... (read in full...)
I cant sleep with my boyfriend's snoring!
Q. Hey readers, I don't know what to do - whenever I spend the night with my bf, his snoring and loud breathing keeps me awake so I can't get to sleep til, like, 5am! I don't know what to do about it. We've been together 6 months, and he knows he ...
A. 10 March 2011: I created a contract that me and my fella both signed, committed to medical intervention if one of us starts snoring down the road. Namedly him, because I am the one who can NOT sleep with a snorer. It drives me craaaaaaaaazy.
Try ear plugs, t... (read in full...)
I just started seeing this girl who I met on Facebook. She cancelled our date today. What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing a girl for the last 2 weeks. We met on facebook and I really like her. There seems to be a spark there already. Trouble is, I’m very paranoid. We went out Friday night, had a good night and yesterday, she told me she would co...
A. 6 March 2011: I don't think you need to be pissed off. She had something come up with her mother, she called and canceled. This relationship is new, so I'd roll with the punches a little bit. She has not shown any indication of not being interested - just that ... (read in full...)
Is it impossible to think I might be able to marry a virgin or at least a very inexperienced girl?
Q. Is marrying a non promiscuous girl a rarity in todays world. I am a virgin man looking to marry a virgin or someone with very little sexual experiences. Is there a possibility that this may happen or should I not care about this....
A. 6 March 2011: It's possible. But as you get older it's going to be less and less possible. I suppose you need to decide if that's the trait that will matter the most to you in your future marriage and life together. If virginity is something you feel will ensure ... (read in full...)
Is she losing her baby?
Q. So the deal is, "Nessy" has been pregnant for 3 months with her boyfriend of 2 weeks before sex (not under my advice). Anyway, she confirmed she was pregnant with several pregnancy at home tests, as well as missed period. Now, three months into the...
A. 6 March 2011: There is 100% nobody here who can tell you what is going on with your friend. She needs to go see a doctor immediately. IMMEDIATELY. Spotting a bit can be normal, but it also could be indication of a miscarriage. It can probably mean a slew of other ... (read in full...)
In love with my best friend who is probably getting married to the wrong girl..
Q. Hi, I am in love with my best friend whom I have know for like over 4 years. We were attracted to each other 4 yrs ago but nothing ever happened. Then we started seeing other people. I broke up with my guy a year ago and he has been having issu...
A. 6 March 2011: He doesn't have to go back to her, and yet he does. He must want to. I suspect that you are getting one side of the story - you recognize that he has an intimate relationship with her too, and just imagine what he says to her when they're in ... (read in full...)
13 year old boyfriend wears briefs. Does it really matter?
Q. My boyfriend is 13 and he still wears briefs. Does it really matter? He wears ones like these: http://direct.asda.com/george/kid-s-clothing/older-boys/underwear/5-pack-camo-briefs/GEM61476,default,pd.html...
A. 4 March 2011: I worked at a men's underwear store for many years - just like women have choices: boyshorts, thong, bikini, French cut - guys have choices too: boxers, briefs, or boxerbriefs (they aren't very good at original names)... also, jocks and trunks. It ... (read in full...)
Do these signs point to an orgasm or is she faking it?
Q. I had this fear until last week that my girlfriend was faking orgasms. We are each other's first sexual partners, and I relied on my fingers/tongue, rather than my woefully average 5 inches in girth to get the job done. I don't see a reason why she ...
A. 4 March 2011: She doesn't sound at all like she's faking to me! You are intimately witnessing all of the physiological signs of a legit orgasm. If you want to find out if she's totally satisfied, just ask "is there anything new you want to try or that you like me ... (read in full...)
How do I get my model girlfriend to listen to me?
Q. hey everyone, my girlfriend is a model and shes doin nightwear stuff like dresses for party and stuff like that. and sometimes she has to do photos with guys. im a model too but i hate it when my gf is doing stuff with other male models. i only do ...
A. 4 March 2011: Hey man, she's a model and that's her job. You are asking her to not be a model. If she was an actress, she'd have to kiss the actor playing her husband. It's not an option, it's the job.
You have to find a way to deal with this. You should n... (read in full...)
I've given him my virginity, and he means so much to me...but I don't know if I trust him completely because of his reputation as a player..
Q. Let's start at the beginning of it all, shall we? (This'll be long, and complicated, but the background story is needed for you to possibly be able to answer the question because it really is complicated. Either bear with me, scroll down to the ...
A. 3 March 2011: No, friends with benefits will not work. It WILL. NOT. WORK. He still gets what he wants - he still wins - and you still hope that he'll come around, fall in love and change his ways. He won't. You will just get deeper and deeper stuck, and your ... (read in full...)
I've given him my virginity, and he means so much to me...but I don't know if I trust him completely because of his reputation as a player..
Q. Let's start at the beginning of it all, shall we? (This'll be long, and complicated, but the background story is needed for you to possibly be able to answer the question because it really is complicated. Either bear with me, scroll down to the ...
A. 3 March 2011: Oh, this might help:
http://std.about.com/od/riskfactorsforstds/a/oralsexsafesex.htm
Stay strong & healthy!... (read in full...)
I've given him my virginity, and he means so much to me...but I don't know if I trust him completely because of his reputation as a player..
Q. Let's start at the beginning of it all, shall we? (This'll be long, and complicated, but the background story is needed for you to possibly be able to answer the question because it really is complicated. Either bear with me, scroll down to the ...
A. 3 March 2011: It sounds like you are letting yourself get played, love. Why are you letting him do to you what he's done to so many other women? Why are you sleeping with him when all his harem has done the same, and to you those girls are essentially fucked and ... (read in full...)
Is losing your virginity ever a good experience? How do you make it one?
Q. I've heard so many people talk about how losing their virginity was a bad experience that I feel like I've heard so many things not to do that. I wonder if anyone had a good experience for their first time. So my question is: what did you do right? ...
A. 2 March 2011: Somehow, I got it in my head that I would lose my virginity by 17. Well, when 17 rolled by and I hadn't met anyone who I felt was worthy. I had had plenty of boyfriends, but never felt in my gut it was right... so I listened. I always trusted ... (read in full...)
I'm not that experienced but my boyfriend is, I need help..
Q. Okay so my boyfriend has been pretty sexually active before and I haven't. I want to know how to practice giving a blowjob before I do it on him?...
A. 2 March 2011: One HUGE thing that has been left out of this wonderful advice is this:
http://std.about.com/od/riskfactorsforstds/a/oralsexsafesex.htm
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/stds-possible-from-oral-sex.html
Please take a glance at both those lin... (read in full...)
Ejaculation places of interest.
Q. Ejaculation Places of Interest What does it typically mean when: men have a fantasy about cuming on a woman's breasts? Why does my husband suddenly express this same fantasy? After one year of marriage do I have reason for concern? ...
A. 2 March 2011: The way I see it, he's gotta cum somewhere and your rack is a perfectly eligible landing zone. If it makes you uncomfortable, you have reason for concern... but otherwise, I don't think this is anything unusual or extraordinary. Could be a porn ... (read in full...)
I want to date my best friend!
Q. My best friend (male) and I are really close but when we were in first year we fought like cat and dog. Then he asked me out and I said no but now I really like him and have already asked him out and he said no. He is also sending mixed messages so ...
A. 28 February 2011: Yeah, we've all had that cyclical friend. I don't really know what to tell you other than to keep at it and hope that eventually you both like each other at the same time! I'll bet you that next time he asks you out, you're not quite interested and ... (read in full...)
I'm straight...is this normal?
Q. I am 23 female and straight. But i'm only turned on by lesbian porn, is this normal???...
A. 28 February 2011: Completely normal!! 100%.... (read in full...)
I'm not scared..but I still stop it, why?
Q. Heey:) I'm 13 and the other day I had a boy round my house, and we were bored so he wanted to play nervous, a game were you touch eachother in certain parts, and he went up my shorts and in my nickers then I stopped him before he could do anything...
A. 28 February 2011: You didn't want to do it because you weren't ready and knew that the timing wasn't right at ALL. You should save that kind of action for a serious boyfriend who you love and who love and respects you. You shouldn't be rounding third base with a boy ... (read in full...)
After watching porn, I feel insecure about my penis size. Is there a way to make it larger?
Q. Hi, I am 22 years old man. My penis size is 2-3 inches in normal condition and it is 5 inches when erect. I am feeling so shy about my penis after watching porn videos. If I get married, will my wife live happily with me? These are some of ...
A. 28 February 2011: I'll be honest, smaller penises often come into my fantasy life. I would be perfectly happy with you, because I could actually deep throat and succeed, and you would not hurt me with a huge schlong! You sound completely fine to me!
A woman wi... (read in full...)
I googled my girlfriend's name and found a homemade sex video that may be of her. Should I ask her about it, or just drop it?
Q. So, I regularly play on Google just randomly googling up stuff and I tried googling my girlfriend just to see what came up, all ordinary, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Then I took off the filter and after going through many of the main pages, I found ...
A. 28 February 2011: You should definitely tell her because there is a chance she doesn't know the video is up. She ought to know that this video is so easy to find. Or if it's not her, than she can just clear that up. This doesn't say anything bad about her - simply ... (read in full...)
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