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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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I googled my girlfriend's name and found a homemade sex video that may be of her. Should I ask her about it, or just drop it?
Q. So, I regularly play on Google just randomly googling up stuff and I tried googling my girlfriend just to see what came up, all ordinary, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Then I took off the filter and after going through many of the main pages, I found ...
A. 28 February 2011: You should definitely tell her because there is a chance she doesn't know the video is up. She ought to know that this video is so easy to find. Or if it's not her, than she can just clear that up. This doesn't say anything bad about her - simply ... (read in full...)
I'm depressed so often, and am so scared of my loved ones dying before I do. How can I help myself to move past this?
Q. Hello, I'm a 15 year old girl and recently I have been concearning myself about the deppressing thoughts I have been having. I keep thinking about death and how there's nothing I can do to prevent it from happening to me or my family, I'm scar...
A. 27 February 2011: You got such wonderful advice. I'm just going to end up repeating it all! Spend lots and lots of time with your family, your dog. Take tons of pictures and movies together. Find out all you can about them, ask questions, talk as much as you can.
... (read in full...)
Twenty-five year old virgin, help!
Q. I know a lot of guys have problems getting laid, but I’m having a crisis. I’m 25 years old and considered a virgin by everyone. In reality, I did lose my virginity, but not in a way that is something I would brag about. Nothing illegal or immoral, ...
A. 27 February 2011: I don't think getting yourself laid will solve the problem. It sounds to me like you want more than a one night fling. I think GeeGee had a great idea - you should look for a shy girl to ask on a date. There are tons of women out there who are ... (read in full...)
First love stories...how did you meet?
Q. How did you meet your first love and how? or if your married how did you find each other?...
A. 26 February 2011: It took a lot of coincidences for me and my fella (husband) to find each other. Here is the story, abridged. I was 19, living in my hometown in upstate NY. One day my friend (17) was like, "hey - want to move to Oregon with me for a few months? Help ... (read in full...)
I'm a homosexual acting like I'm heterosexual to be accepted
Q. I am a homosexual male but I am acting as a heterosexual to remain accepted in my society. People around me seem very judgemental and so I am afraid of being judged for my sexual orientation. I have a girlfriend which makes it worse as I don't...
A. 26 February 2011: You got great advice. No, it's not fair to your girlfriend and you should end that immediately. But, if you aren't ready to come out - you don't have to. You can break up with her because you aren't attracted to her, or because it just doesn't feel ... (read in full...)
I'm really happy my friends got together, but I miss them now they don't talk to me as much.....
Q. my two best friends in the world got together, but david (like an older brother to me) and morgan (my best friend ever) doesnt talk to me as much as they did. I know im sounding selfish and all. also i know they just got together and are in the ...
A. 21 February 2011: Hey sweet - been here, done this. It sucks, huh?
They are in the lovey-dovey phase, and the best thing to do is to hang out with them separately. Nothing sucks more than being the third wheel and having to watch your other friends make out whil... (read in full...)
I'm quite inexperienced in the bedroom and would like some tips on how to please my man.
Q. I'm quite inexperienced in the bedroom and would like some tips on how to please my man. Any positions which are good for him? What do guys like girls to do in bed? Tips on how to give a guy good oral/hand jobs? Any other help, tips, det...
A. 21 February 2011: Go out and pick yourself up an issue of Cosmo!! You will find tips and tricks aplenty.
I think the essentials are these:
1) open mindedness
2) enthusiasm
3) a smile
4) confidence
I know those aren't specialized tricks, but that is what... (read in full...)
Where or what are good places to have sex other than on a bed?
Q. Any good places to have sex besides in bed? Favourite place to do it? Any interesting ways?...
A. 20 February 2011: The car is under appreciated. That, and in a tent on a camping trip.
Option A is fun because you can play dirty 20 questions until you pull over at a truck stop or whatever and have fun with all that pent up anticipation. Option B is a ball bec... (read in full...)
Need your opinion on a dress!!
Q. Ok, so i have found 4 dresses i really like and i need your opinion! i'm about 5' 3 and 100 lbs. fair skin, can tan pretty easily though, dark hair and hazel eyes and fit into a size 2 if it's a corset dress. i kind of think i want a pink dress but ...
A. 20 February 2011: I think my favorites are #3, followed by #4. I'm sure you'd look gorgeous in any of them!!... (read in full...)
I'm married and gay, told my wife but she doesn't want to leave me
Q. Im married and have been for 24years ,i am gay and have told my wife ,she is happy that i told her and has no problems with me being gay,she isnt intereasted in sex at all with anyone ,and doesnt want me to leave her at all,I feel im holding her ...
A. 19 February 2011: If you are both happy in this arrangement, then no damage has been done. There are lots of "alternative" marital arrangements that are like this that work for people. However, you both need to 100% on board.
Do you feel like your life is fulfille... (read in full...)
Should I tell my brother I had sex with his room mate?
Q. Every few weeks I go and visit my brother who's away at college. When I first met his roommate I felt this attraction to him. One day when I was there my brother had to go to work so it was me and his roommate. At first we watched some tv then one ...
A. 19 February 2011: I'd probably tell him, because his roommate is certainly going to end up opening his mouth. It should come from you first, I suppose. I'm sure your brother is not going to be happy about it at all, but better you telling him than him having to find ... (read in full...)
Best friends with a girl you find attractive?
Q. I have a male friend I have known for 5 years now. in the last 6 months we were both single and started flirting loads, we met up a few times -he lives in another country. we had brilliant time, did and saw a lot of things, and we also got intimate. ...
A. 19 February 2011: This friendship can't work. At least not while you both have active feelings and are single. If you want to be in a relationship, you should make that clear.
It sounds a little to me like he likes the intimacy, loves the friendship, but doesn't ... (read in full...)
How do I start to talk to her and will there be a future relationship?
Q. I like a girl but I had never spoken to her, how do I start the conversation and then eventually be her friend then finally get the courage to ask her out?...
A. 18 February 2011: First things first - smile at her. Then go up and say hi. If you just open your mouth, it will get a lot easier to start up a friendship! Once you get to know her, you will gain the confidence to ask her out. Good luck!... (read in full...)
How often do girls check out guys packages?
Q. How often do girls check out guys packages? I know guys are always looking at cleavage and bootys, but I want to know how often chicks check out a mans package. I sometimes feel chicks are checking out me package as I walk by....
A. 18 February 2011: Kinda hard to see anything, unless you're hard as a rock - in which case people will be looking... but probably because they think you're a little creepy for walking around with a boner.
So yes, I don't think girls check out packages very oft... (read in full...)
Ideas needed for gifts for my pregnant bestfriend!
Q. Hey aunts and uncles!! Your input is appreciated though this is not a relationship question. So, my best friend is pregnant. She is the best friend a person can have and I love her to bits. I decided that during her pregnancy she should get one ...
A. 16 February 2011: Oooh, you could fill out a little notebook with advice for the baby when the baby is a teenager! You could do a photo session with her - bring your camera and some body paint (make sure it is safe for use on a pregnant woman), and get creative! Fun ... (read in full...)
He's fair, and I'm tan, can I still love him?
Q. hi guys...i want some advice. theres this guy i love at college.i told him what i felt for him on valentines day with a nice friendly quote.he said he feels the same. i love him a lot,and i want him,even though our likes and dislikes don't r...
A. 16 February 2011: My Mom is fair, my Dad is tan (well, darker than tan) - they've been happily married for 25 years. My fella is fair, and I'm tan - we've been happily together for 5.5 years, married for 1.5. Skin color has had nothing to do with the ultimate success ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a woman to chase a man?
Q. I'm confused with my role as a woman in the flirting section of a relationship. I've been told plenty of times that it's the man that really must take the first steps but I feel I'm a very dominant woman (and I can tend to choose men that are ...
A. 16 February 2011: Hey, you're a modern woman and you'll find yourself a modern fella. I think it's great that you are comfortable with yourself and confident. Don't change who you are - being exactly who you are will bring you a fella who loves you for YOU, not some ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and best friend conspiring behind my back. I don't trust him now!
Q. I went through my boyfriends txt msgs and found a conversation between him and my "best friend". He sent her msgs telling her tht he has been having dreams about them making love, getting married and having a family together. My heart dropped ...
A. 14 February 2011: Deal breaker. Ditch this guy IMMEDIATELY. Cheaters are crappy, but cheaters who creep on your best friend are even worse, This guy can not be trusted, and in my honest opinion - never will. You deserve a WAY better guy than this, and a way better ... (read in full...)
How can he tell me he loves me, and then leave me for someone else?
Q. I was 16 he was 19. When we broke up, he found a new girlfriend straight away. People tell me that I'm heaps prettier, and she's really annoying and unsupportive. I was happy because I hoped he would come back to me, but it’s been 2 months since ...
A. 12 February 2011: All I see here is that when you were together, he made you feel horrible. He may miss you, but it sounds like he suddenly was without a girlfriend and desperately did not want to be alone, so he turned to you - but as soon as he found someone who ... (read in full...)
Baby in June and we need some names!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are having a baby in June and we need some good names for it . I all ready thought of the names Patrick after Patrick Swayze or Morticia after Morticia Addams . But we can't decide. ...
A. 12 February 2011: My name is Michael, and I'm a girl. I'm not telling you, "hey - name your baby after me!" - but my name is pretty awesome and my life has been exponentially more awesome having been named it. It is an excellent conversation starter, nobody ever ... (read in full...)
Strawberries and cologne..anything else sound good?
Q. So I want to get my boyfriend something really cute and nice for him for valentine's day. I'm sixteen and he is also sixteen, we are madly in love. I don't know if it's just teenage love, but I could see myself with him forever. Anyways, back to my ...
A. 12 February 2011: Handmake your card - get crafty. Maybe a framed picture of the two of you. You could give him the modern version of a mixtape/CD - a.k.a. go find a cool flash drive (like this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/usb-gadgets/e6b0/) and fill it up ... (read in full...)
Are we crazy for planning a future at such a young age?
Q. So, here's the story. Me and this guy have known each other since the 8th grade and we have dated twice, but it never really worked because he moved our freshman year in high school. Since he has moved, the only way we talk is through Facebook...
A. 11 February 2011: I don't think you're crazy, as long as you're not putting your entire life on hold. But you guys seem to be doing this well - still dating around, going towards your individual goals (like you going to college). Because you're still living your ... (read in full...)
How do I move her from the friend zone?
Q. How do I get this girl to like me that I really like. She likes me as a friend even calls me best friend but when I ask her out or anything seriously she always has something to do or doesn't feel like it. She's really nice and really funny and I ...
A. 11 February 2011: The only way you can do anything is to not be so available. Right now, if you guys are "best friends" that probably means that you hang out alot, talk alot, pretty much you're her boyfriend without the action. You need to distance yourself so that ... (read in full...)
I think a troubled student is attracted to me and it makes me uncomfortable
Q. Theres this student at the school I teach who has become weirdly attatched to me. This is my first year of teaching i'm an 8th grade history teacher. This girl actually blurted out that shE got raped to me!! I didn't know if I should tell guidance ...
A. 9 February 2011: Hmm, very awkward situation. What did the guidance counselor have to say? I think you should be talking to the principal, guidance and perhaps her parents. She is very young and it isn't her job to get herself help. It's your job to recognize red ... (read in full...)
Dating a beautiful girl and I feel no love towards her
Q. I have a huge problem, and I honestly don't know what to do. Aunties and Uncles, you have helped in the past. Now, I need you more then ever. Let's get right down too it. I am in a relationship with a beautiful girl, But I feel no love towards her...
A. 9 February 2011: I think you should leave your girlfriend and spend more time coming to terms and getting over these past relationships. It's not fair to keep around a girl who you aren't really into - she should have the opportunity to go find someone who will love ... (read in full...)
I've got the French maid costume, but what do I do after I put it on?
Q. My boyfriend has told me before that one of his fantasies is for me to dress up as a french maid. As we are at different universities we hardly see each other at all any more, so I thought I'd surprise him when I go to visit him next. The thing is...
A. 8 February 2011: Also, learn a few French phrases! It could matter less what you're actually saying (unless he understands French, in which saying "put the cat next to the pencil", or "my Uncle arrives Saturday" will be confusing and not sexy), it will sound ... (read in full...)
Now that he's ill, I want to tell my HS crush that I liked him. Good idea?
Q. Should I tell my high school crush I liked him? We are 2 years into college. Back in HS, Junior year, we stared at each other everyday in the hall. I really liked him, and I had the feeling that he liked me, but we never ever talked because he was ...
A. 8 February 2011: It is always nice to know that somebody liked/likes you! Go ahead and send the letter! I very much doubt he will laugh or think it's stupid. He will probably be really happy that someone is thinking of him. Being ill gets pretty lonely and boring, ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned after a bad proposal?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 20months. I have a long history with him. We were friends before we dated for about 8yrs. I love him very much and have been wanting him to ask me to marry him. He actually proposed to me two days ago. It definite...
A. 8 February 2011: The story gets better!!
I admit, I was a little bummed out when my fella proposed, mostly because I had heard these amazing stories and seen the movies and had plenty of time to concoct the perfect proposal for me. Well, he ended up proposin... (read in full...)
Does he not trust me because of what he is possibly doing?
Q. Hi, thanks for reading, and helping. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years. There's always been "trust" issues on his behalf. I've told him countless times trust is vital in a healthy relationship. To give some history he's been...
A. 8 February 2011: My guess is that yes, he acts suspiciously because he knows what HE does independently. My assumption is that he's stepping out or at least enjoys entertaining the thought. Even if he's not, the reason why he's behaving like this is that he is a ... (read in full...)
I am friendless. None of them got me presents for my 18th.
Q. hi, this seems immature but i want to ask anyway. ive moved schools but still keep in good touch with the freinds from my old school, (which i left over a year ago. in my new school i have no friends, i dont know why, i guess i just dont really ...
A. 6 February 2011: Gift giving is so lame. I really feel your pain. I send out birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, cards for cute little holidays and I never get anything in return. My friends are extremely lame at that. But, they give me other things like phone calls, ... (read in full...)
Marriage or master's degree, which should come first?
Q. Please advice me, I am 25 male, handsome, working as economic analyst, but want to have my master within 2 0r 3 years, but same time want to marry....should i do master first and then marry or i should marry and then go for masters.... i...
A. 4 February 2011: I don't understand why it is one or another. I am married but finishing up my degree. My partner is incredibly supportive of my education. Your relationship should not challenge your educational goals! If there is a woman who is making you choose ... (read in full...)
Ladies, would you ever change your personality for your boyfriend?
Q. Ladies, would you ever change your personality for your boyfriend? Personality as in being more assertive, more sexy or just overall more "loving" to them even though you have been doing just fine since your relationship kicked off. Just a si...
A. 4 February 2011: That's a tricky question. I wouldn't change my identity, but I might shift my personality a bit. If my fella needs me to be more loving to them, that is something I will listen to and consider.
For instance, my fella is SUPER affectio... (read in full...)
Since when is being gay/lesbian cool?
Q. This is not exactly a relationship question but I was hoping that I could get views on this issue here. Okay, so my question to all you gays and lesbians out there is: Since when is being gay/lesbian cool? I'm sorry, I am a lesbian myself, bu...
A. 4 February 2011: Yes, back in my day being bisexual was pretty trendy. Welcome to high school, my dear. Right now there are a bunch of teens all trying to figure out their sexuality. They're experimenting and trying on different relationships for size. You were ... (read in full...)
Should I divorce my husband so he can have a child?
Q. We are a couple in our 40's and childless...An ex-boyfriend of mine is having a baby, so now I realize it is me who cannot conceive. Though my husband of 5 years have resigned ourselves to not having children (which I desperately want) should I ...
A. 4 February 2011: Don't give up on children and your marriage yet! There is adoption, you could maybe find a surrogate mother...
Before you assume that there is no possibility of children, you should at least go to the doctor to find out what is going on and if t... (read in full...)
How far can a girl go with anal oral sex?
Q. guys: do you like when a girl licks your anus , sticks her tongue in your butt?? i love doing this to my man...he let me do it but im not sure if he liked it ..he said it was ok, it sounded like he enjoyed it..i was "getting him off" at the same...
A. 4 February 2011: I'm not a guy, but yeah - he probably feels weird for liking it. There is a certain stigma that comes along with butt-play, and he may just be hung up on that. It's silly though, the butt is a serious erotic zone for everyone! My fella loves ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has never had an ejaculation in his life?!
Q. I am currently in a relationship and things are great we get along fine and we understand each other, my only issue with my boyfriend is that he cannot ejaculate. Weve had very brief conversations about this because he tends to avoid the subject but ...
A. 4 February 2011: It's not you, it's his penis that is the issue. Absolutely go with him to the doctor to have him checked out. The most he can do is make the appointment. The most you can do for him at this point is drive him there and be supportive. :o) Good luck1... (read in full...)
Planning to have a loveless life!
Q. I'm planning to have a loveless life (no relationship, no sex). Work in a non-governmental organization and totally dedicate myself to humanitarian and environmentalist activities. It's not that bad, I guess... It would be tough since I'm really p...
A. 2 February 2011: I also want to challenge this "spiritual negative". My Mom is a minister of a lovely church that is welcoming and affirming of all. Everyone is welcome and embraced into a loving community and place of worship. You just may not surrounding yourself ... (read in full...)
Wondering about cigarettes....
Q. Im 15 and love the smell of second hand smoke, so just wobdering wat they taste like and is it strange to get aroused by the thought of smoking? Abd dont give me rubbish like they bad for you plz!...
A. 2 February 2011: Tastes like death. Literally. And yes, I've done my fair share of smoking. Dude, if you are trying to turn off girls and make dating a LOT more difficult, pick up a smoking habit. Even as someone who smoked on and off, I would never date a smoker. ... (read in full...)
I liked him less when he admitted having dated someone my mother's age
Q. This guy that I'm dating has dated a much older woman in the past. I don't usually bring up past relationships for this very reason but it somehow came out and never did I think he would have dated 25 years older than him.(he's 25). I tried ...
A. 2 February 2011: So he messed around with a cougar. She probably trained him better than any of his younger gals. My fella also had a few brief trysts with older women and liked their sexual and emotional confidence.
It's okay to feel a little icky about it, but ... (read in full...)
What do you do when you're both sexual virgins?
Q. My boyfriend and I are both virgins and want to remain so until marriage. While we are very adamant about this decision, we still have another 3 years before we want to even think about marriage (college first, then marriage). Both of us are very ...
A. 2 February 2011: Girl, the creativity is endless. Dress up, maybe use scarves to tie up or blindfold... 69ing is always fun. There is NEVER a lack of new things to do. Try doing things in new locations! Me and my fella are super into board games & card games and we ... (read in full...)
Gf is angry because I didn't insist that we lv event so she could study, what now??
Q. Short version: My gf is mad at me because I didn’t ask her if she wanted to go home early so that she can study for her exam even though it was an event that she wanted and chose to go to. Long version: 1. Background: Gf had to study for ...
A. 1 February 2011: Funny that all guys have answered this. And for the most part, I completely agree with them. Somehow in the moment we feel this way, but ultimately it is crap and crazytalk. She should have just said, "hey, I have to study. Are you ready to go home ... (read in full...)
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