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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Why do some women feel the guy is ok to hear EVERYTHING about their past?
Q. We had a perfect relationship, until she started getting into details about her past.. I never asked for details, I just asked for a number of partners, and about her last serious relationship.. Why do women feel comfortable with some men to the ...
A. 15 November 2010: It sounds like everything she had said was driving you nuts originally. So she got sick of it, and thought "hmm, perhaps I'll just tell him I exaggerated and he'll feel better and leave me be". So she gave it a try, you weren't having it and it ... (read in full...)
My man is upset because women don't hit on him?
Q. I am a bit upset at the moment . The man I have been dating just left my home after an arugement . He didn't understand why I would get upset when he started talking about how he wishes women would hit on him ... And I was the only person in four ...
A. 15 November 2010: Hah! I actually was just whining about the same thing about a week ago. It sucks being somewhat used to getting attention, and then as you get older it comes in less frequently, and you miss warding off the guys whistling and checking you out. It's ... (read in full...)
Why do some women feel the guy is ok to hear EVERYTHING about their past?
Q. We had a perfect relationship, until she started getting into details about her past.. I never asked for details, I just asked for a number of partners, and about her last serious relationship.. Why do women feel comfortable with some men to the ...
A. 15 November 2010: Well, I personally think that your approach to this is a little intense. I can't understand how you operate, I guess... but if this is such a huge issue for you, and you are growing to hate her, you should definitely leave this relationship. It ... (read in full...)
We both still love each other, but we're bored. Is there anyway we can save this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and tonight we came to an agreement that this just isn't exciting anymore. We've had discussions so many times before about whether we shoudl stay together and we usually do, but this time we both ...
A. 15 November 2010: Well, if you guys are just bored then you need to start making this relationship exciting! The best way to do that is to just do stuff. Make memories. Go to anything, everything! Find local free music, a play, try new restaurants, find free museums ... (read in full...)
I don't think we mesh well anymore.
Q. So. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years, and I don't feel like I'm lying when I say I love him. But it feels like we've grown apart, and I'm starting to think that maybe we should break up. I'm just trying to figure out if we've been ...
A. 15 November 2010: It is never fun to break up with someone. It never gets easier, and it always hurts. You still have to do it! You're clearly not happy with this guy, and the longer you draw this out, the more it will ultimately hurt. You are dating him right now ... (read in full...)
Why is he so obsessed with her, what about me?
Q. I feel like I shouldn't be asking people I don't know for advice and comfort, but I'm finding it hard to talk to my family about it and I just need some consoling now. I think I like a guy in my college who I've been dating for a few weeks/month ...
A. 15 November 2010: Hey sweet thing,
Listen... I'm going to be honest here and tell you to just drop this relationship. If he is gushing on about his ex,to the point where you describe him as "obsessed", he is not over her. Do you really want to get involved with som... (read in full...)
Confused in New England.
Q. I'm currently in a unhealthy relationship for the past 8 years and was perfectly ok with it. Recently I have met an amazing women whom is 10 yrs younger that is in a relationship with someone for the past 6 years and own a home together. We have ...
A. 15 November 2010: Viv Acious could not have put it better, or more vivaciously. Looking for my advice? Follow her advice.... (read in full...)
Why do some women feel the guy is ok to hear EVERYTHING about their past?
Q. We had a perfect relationship, until she started getting into details about her past.. I never asked for details, I just asked for a number of partners, and about her last serious relationship.. Why do women feel comfortable with some men to the ...
A. 15 November 2010: What is up with these expectations of how "ladies" act? The traditional "lady" went out in the 90's, and now there can be no expectations.
My guesses are this:
a) she may just like to talk. God knows I do, and sometimes I just like telling a g... (read in full...)
My man is moody and is increasingly difficult to deal with
Q. I'm almost 47yrs and have been seeing my partner for just over 2 years. We don't live together and live around an hour apart. Over the time he has had moody times when he's just left my house for no apparent reason, or slept on the sofa. L...
A. 15 November 2010: I wonder if he suffers from depression? My husband does, and very much has "moody" days, and makes somewhat irrational decisions (like suddenly deciding that a holiday is a bad idea) for whatever reason. I would encourage him to see a doctor and get ... (read in full...)
What is the deal with women and high heels??
Q. I really wanna know the answer to this question especially from females - Do you females really like wearing sexy high heeled shoes or do you do it only for attention. I have heard of shoe fetish but I dont know how far it is true. Does it also have ...
A. 14 November 2010: I guess it makes you feel sexier, and that can help be a turn on. They just make your legs look longer, more toned and they give you a sense of confidence and power.
It is for attention (isn't everything you put on your body?), because you do w... (read in full...)
I cleaned up his vomit and this is the thanks I get?
Q. Hello, this is kind of long but please bear with me.. I hope someone can help me out with some good advice...me and my ex boyfriend of a year and a couple months broke up about a month ago. We were still in contact the first week after the...
A. 13 November 2010: STOP BEING WITH THIS GUY!!! There is nothing redeeming about him. And sister, never clean up puke unless it is yours, your kids, or your very best friend in all the world who you are 100% positive would do the exact same for you. This guy would not ... (read in full...)
I can't bring myself to love him!
Q. So there's this guy that's incredibly sweet to me, treats me like no one has ever treated me, and there's no question that he loves me and all my flaws unconditionally. The problem is I can't seem to actually love him back. We have so much in ...
A. 13 November 2010: The heart wants what it wants. And while this guy is safe, you just don't have passion with him. It would be much better to hold out for someone who really gets you going rather than the guy who is great on paper. He may be a great guy, and you may ... (read in full...)
My dad is still angry at me, how can I get him to forgive me?
Q. dear/sir/madam i cannot see anybody sad i cannot talk bad to any body.i am a very soft hearted person.but two days before such an incident happened i became angry on my father and i shouted at him we had a nasty high loud conversation at mid nigh...
A. 12 November 2010: Yes, I also think you Dad was over the top. There is no reason to come barging, kicking and screaming into someone's room. It must have embarrassed you and scared the crap out of your wife! I guess just apologize sincerely for whatever you felt you ... (read in full...)
My teenage daughter wanted permission to marry her boyfriend!
Q. Hello everyone. This question is really me just wondering what you would do in my situation: Yesterday, my 16 (almost 17) year old little girl and her boyfriend came to me and asked me to give her permission to marry him. I was baffled by it, a...
A. 11 November 2010: I think you need to approach this in a different way. Teenagers, sometimes if you tell them no, things only become more attractive to them. I would tell them that you think their relationship is great, and you support them waiting until after ... (read in full...)
Did I come across as trying to cheat on my husband?
Q. i am married and have great relationship with my husband.Few weeks back i met three people at a party and two of them were husband and wife and one was single guy who flirted with me throughout the night and i flirted back a little but it was all ...
A. 11 November 2010: I think that he probably thought he had a chance to hook up. I don't think you were 'in-your-face' aggressive, but if he's not shy about reading signals, I do think that you gave him the impression that he had a shot. Maybe.
If you drop it and c... (read in full...)
B cup size, will they get any bigger?
Q. Well, thisnis kinda embarrassing but I'm 13 years old and I want to know if my breasts will get bigger. Cause they are like a B now but I would like them to be a little bigger. What do you think???...
A. 11 November 2010: Absolutely they will. 13 is just the beginning. You will definitely fill out more over the years... they stop around 18-21. No worries!! ... (read in full...)
We were born on the same day and year, tell me we're not meant to be together!
Q. Ok here it is exactly 4 months after me and my girlfriend started going she calls me one morning and say i can't do this anymore....we had a great time together....we were born on the same day and same year. she made me feel like we were a dynasty. ...
A. 10 November 2010: Also, there are approximately 18,585,087 other people with the same birthday. At least half of them are female, so there are plenty more fish in the sea that you could potentially be meant to be with.
She's got a new boyfriend, and her Mom made... (read in full...)
I don't think I can ask her out yet because I am younger than her!
Q. Not the best title but... Today i just found out she's a vegetarian I guess that helps with why she so B.e.a.u.tiful like she just thinks meat is disgusting. So Im a freshman in hIghschool and I'm like in love w/ someone 2 years older (Junior) I'm ...
A. 10 November 2010: When I was a Senior in high school and doing all the theater, I ended up dating a sophomore who was in the cast. We had a two year age difference too. You should definitely give it a try! You can wait for awhile if you feel like it, and get to know ... (read in full...)
I know I'm not getting coal for Christmas, is it a ring?
Q. My boyfriend has recently told me he's already bought my xmas gift. This would be our first Christmas together and we've been together about 7 or so months. He even showed what he got me to my family to see if I'd like it. He doesn't understand how ...
A. 9 November 2010: What are you getting him for Christmas? Get him something pretty awesome and then you can have fun torturing him as well.
Don't try to guess too much. Whenever I do that, I always end up disappointed... assume he bought you a box of garbage ... (read in full...)
My christain boyfriend said no sex,kissin and touching in our relationship and I don't really go down well with it.
Q. Am 18 and my bf is 21,we met through a dating site weeks ago and fell madly inlove wt each other{though we are in a LDR}. .so we were talking yesterday and he was telling me that he is a christian and don't want us to be having sex,kissin,or even ...
A. 6 November 2010: No kissing and touching? That is super conservative. What he wants is friendship! I think that you will end up very frustrated and unhappy - you should end it with this guy and find someone more compatible with your needs. Have you asked how long he ... (read in full...)
Difficult situation with my long distance girl, any suggestions?
Q. I am in a peculiar situation right now. I am a member of an online community and I have been for a few years. It's basically just a nerdy place for humor/discussion, just a couple hundred members, we post our pictures, no big deal. Well anyway I saw ...
A. 5 November 2010: BettyB could not be more right. You two are incredibly toxic to each other, and are making each other much more unhappy than otherwise. You should not be becoming worse people because you're together, and it seems to me that is exactly what is ... (read in full...)
I want my cheating husband to tell our daughter about his affair or leave his woman on the side but he wont come clean!
Q. We are married for 10 yrs. with one daughter (14 yrs.old).My husband is currently working in middle east and he is having an affair of a girl who is also in another country for almost 6 months now.I told my husband to reveal this matter to our ...
A. 2 November 2010: Don't bring your daughter into the middle of this. She should not have to carry around the pain of her parents intimate dramas. It's not fair to her to make her carry around your issues. She is still young and shouldn't have to take sides or have ... (read in full...)
Opinions from guys & girls needed! What to do when you accept his proposal but don't like the ring!
Q. This is a question for both guys and girls. Girls - If your boyfriend proposed to you and you accepted but you truly did not like the engagement ring as it was the complete oposite of what you like, would you tell him and risk breaking his hea...
A. 2 November 2010: You know, when my fella popped the question and gave me the ring, I wasn't crazy about it either. (SHHH, oh my Lord that is still a secret.) But, let me tell you, after wearing it for the last 2.5 years, I've grown really attached to it. Now I love ... (read in full...)
I can't stand the drama and I don't want to be a drop out!!!
Q. i'm sick and tired of all the craziness in mexico i want to run to california and meet my guy, i can't stand the drama but i don't want to be a drop out! i'm a senior at college and i don't want to risk all my school years for nothing but i really ...
A. 2 November 2010: I didn't mean "you shouldn't waste so much time in school". My brain went in one direction and my typing went in another. I think I meant, you don't want to risk all your school years!
Anyway, yes... from your private message, it sounds like you... (read in full...)
I can't stand the drama and I don't want to be a drop out!!!
Q. i'm sick and tired of all the craziness in mexico i want to run to california and meet my guy, i can't stand the drama but i don't want to be a drop out! i'm a senior at college and i don't want to risk all my school years for nothing but i really ...
A. 2 November 2010: What is upsetting you so much where you are? Because you're right - you shouldn't waste so much time in school. If you are a senior, then my advice is to simply suck it up and stick it out until you're done. Then you've got the rest of time to run ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with her even although I'm a virgin?
Q. I'm a virgin, and this really attractive, and fairly experienced girl wants to have sex with me.. I really would rather save myself the embarrassment of telling her I'm a virgin, but then she'll probably think I'm just shit in bed, i don't know what ...
A. 2 November 2010: I think you are assuming that she'll think it's funny that you're a virgin? She will probably find our virginity endearing and exciting. Trust me, virginity is sexy! Don't feel bad and definitely don't hold back that information!
But more importan... (read in full...)
Please help me get over him!
Q. I like this boy even though he's in a relationship. I've only met him once but I completly fell for him. I was looking on his wAll on facebook and he's saying "best girlfriend ever" "couldn't ask for a better gf" "I love my girlfriend" then people ...
A. 1 November 2010: I won't say "he's just a boy", but I will say that you're just going to have to start getting over him. By that, I mean start distancing yourself from him. The less you concentrate on him and his Facebook page, the more your heart will relax and be ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend keep looking at porn???
Q. I've caught my boyfriend for the second time looking at porn and masturbating over it. I hate the thought of my boyfriend looking at other naked girls on the internet and wanking off to them. Iv been seeing him for just over 2 years and its ...
A. 1 November 2010: If you are 16-17, then welcome to the battle you'll be fighting for the rest of your relationship life. Guys love porn... that is just how it is. You won't find many guys willing to give up their "private time" completely. Like Jmtmj says, you'll ... (read in full...)
He's jealous because of the sexual things I did with my ex!
Q. i have a question... my boyfriend of 3 years is jealous of the fact that i gave my ex boyfriend oral sex and he ejaculated in my mouth, and ive been with him for 3 years and he has not done it 2 me. first of all my ex boyfriend treated me like a ...
A. 31 October 2010: This is NOT about your BF cumming in your mouth. This is about the fact that you've got a shitty boyfriend. Why would you be with someone who is a jerk, treats you terribly, is useless, lies to you, keeps you from bettering yourself? This guy is ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has more feelings than I have for him
Q. we've been dating a week and hes said i love you and he always tells me im the most beautiful thing he could ever see. the other day he told me he wanted to kiss me. i dont wanna kiss him, and the other day i was talking to this other guy who is ...
A. 30 October 2010: Well, if you've only been dating a week and he's telling you he loves you, no wonder you're distancing yourself! He is a little overwhelming!
It seems like maybe you should give it just a little more time - give yourself a chance to see past his... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I'm scared of everything
Q. Hello. I am 13 yrs. old. I am in the 8th grade. I dont have many friends. I dont really like people, and people dont really like me, but I want friends. I hope it will get better in high school, but I dont think so, and I dont know why I think ...
A. 30 October 2010: Hey there sweet thing,
I don't think you need a psychiatrist. I think you need a therapist or psychologist. I don't think there is medically anything wrong with you, I think that you're a vivid thinker and really smart and it's interfer... (read in full...)
Can you have an orgasm just by doing this?
Q. My bf and I were fooling around in my basement the other night and I was on top of him and we were basically rubbing against each other, by thrusting our 'parts'. I was wondering if it was possible to get an orgasm that way or do you need to be ...
A. 29 October 2010: It's completely possible. A really slim number of women can orgasm from just having their breasts touched, or even just thinking about sex! So yes, dry humping can totally bring on an orgasm if you're in the right state of mind and feeling really ... (read in full...)
I want to feel all "MMM" from sex!
Q. Hi everyone! I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend and I both had sex for the first time a week and a half ago. The first time hurt just a bit. We've done it four times so far and yeah soon enough I will no longer be keeping count. Of the th...
A. 29 October 2010: It's only been a week and a half. I remember being kind of let down the first week and a half of my sex life too. I think that your body takes some time to sort out new sensations and learn how to react. Also, most girls don't orgasm through ... (read in full...)
I'm having weird issues with my vaginal area. Who should I talk to?
Q. im really scared. im onyl 13 and im going through things im my life right now that i know i shouldnt be and top of that im worried aboot my vaginal area. my cliterus is really red and sore, it seems swolen if this is possible? and i just dont know ...
A. 29 October 2010: I wouldn't try to self medicate. You're young, and I'm pretty sure that douching isn't good for the body at all. What I would do is skip the home remedies and over-the-counter stuff, tell your Mom and go straight to a doctor. It would be worth it to ... (read in full...)
Sex has dried up now that I am pregnant!
Q. I'm 23 and my man is 22. Im 5 months pregnant. We use to have sex regularly now its every four or five days. And when we do have sex most of the time its because I asked. Its Far and in between that he initiates it. From what i hear most guys his ...
A. 28 October 2010: Are things better?
I hope that you open up and talk to your fella about your problem. Tell him you want some more sex!! And maybe he'll open up to you if there is something that is bothering him... ... (read in full...)
Crush asked me to go for a walk....im wondering why
Q. i asked a question the other day about my crush that broke up with his ex of 8 years, 5 months ago. so, we are actually going to lunch together tomorrow and i am so excited/happy/nervous. not sure where we are going to eat yet, we both said we would ...
A. 28 October 2010: Well, I think it's definitely a good sign. He wants to spend some more intimate time with you. But, if you want to approach this the right way, I would go in with no expectations. No hope, no sorrow. Go out to lunch looking a little nicer than ... (read in full...)
Military boyfriend out of touch and I'm beside myself!
Q. My boyfriend is in the military, and last week he told me he was going away for a week, now he's out of touch and I'm beside myself. He's turned off his phone and not answering any messages I've sent him, as we usually message every day and I have ...
A. 28 October 2010: Lots of time military guys disappear for weeks at a time. It is nothing to worry about - get used to it. It's just how the military is. He may be going out for a training exercise, someplace remote or not allowed to make calls.
Don't fret yet... (read in full...)
A dream about him cheating on me made me feel more insecure than I ever was
Q. I know I shouldn't read into dreams, but last night I had a dream about my bf cheating on me. I saw him kissing another girl and we started to fight over it. I slapped him twice and yelled at him, asking if he left me for "something better". He said ...
A. 26 October 2010: No, no, no. Don't read too much into dreams. They are a reflection of things that you might be worried about, but they are not evidence that he is cheating on you! It sounds like this may just be a lurking fear that you have that is imprinting ... (read in full...)
Should I congratulate him on a great performance?
Q. OK so last night I went to go see a concert version of "Les Miserables School Addition". It was spectacular and everyone sounded AMAZING! I knew two of the people who were in it (sort of) and today at school I told one guy's little brother to tell ...
A. 26 October 2010: It's never too late to tell someone that you loved their performance. It will probably make his day! Go for it, sweet thing! Good luck. :o)... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in over a year!
Q. Hi there, I have a question and concern. I have been married for 18yrs and to this day have not messed around on my wife. She is turning 50 this week and I am 43yrs old. We have 2 kids and own our home. My wife has no intrest in sex what so e...
A. 26 October 2010: Well, it does seem that something fishy happened in Vegas. Could it be that she contracted an STD or feels guilt over an affair? Her distance suggests that she's hiding something...
Maybe marital counseling would help whatever the problem is to co... (read in full...)
Sex has dried up now that I am pregnant!
Q. I'm 23 and my man is 22. Im 5 months pregnant. We use to have sex regularly now its every four or five days. And when we do have sex most of the time its because I asked. Its Far and in between that he initiates it. From what i hear most guys his ...
A. 25 October 2010: Is this your first child?
It sounds like he's nervous about your new body and the fact that you've got a baby growing inside of you! That can be pretty unnerving, and might be throwing off his sex drive a little. Maybe he's nervous about hurting ... (read in full...)
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