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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Gf is angry because I didn't insist that we lv event so she could study, what now??
Q. Short version: My gf is mad at me because I didn’t ask her if she wanted to go home early so that she can study for her exam even though it was an event that she wanted and chose to go to. Long version: 1. Background: Gf had to study for ...
A. 1 February 2011: Funny that all guys have answered this. And for the most part, I completely agree with them. Somehow in the moment we feel this way, but ultimately it is crap and crazytalk. She should have just said, "hey, I have to study. Are you ready to go home ... (read in full...)
The wandering eye......
Q. My guy and I had a little spat in regards to the wandering eye and loyalty to me and the relationship. He says that my constant banter of telling him how upsetting it is to me to see him looking at other women and physically acting like he's not ...
A. 31 January 2011: I call bullshit.
Okay, guys will look.. and it's annoying, but there's really nothing you can do. Guys look. That's okay. But, this whole "I'm going to cheat because you made me" story is complete crap. Self-fulfilling prophecy my butt!! I would ... (read in full...)
16, in love, and ready to have a baby. Need advice, opinions, and feedback!
Q. I'm 16 years old and want a baby. Ok so I'm 16, turn 17 in 10 months, I finish high school in just under 5 months and have already achieved good grades so far. My boyfriend is the exact same except he is 2 months older then me. We have been tog...
A. 31 January 2011: Hi sweetheart,
I'm not currently 16, and I'm not a teen mom. I'm not even a mom! I'm a twentysomething. BUT, I am a twentysomething that completely understands what this feels like. My maternal drive started kicking in full-time around 16 too.
... (read in full...)
How do I explain to friends that I don't want to be touched because of my disfigurement?
Q. It's me again. I have people who are pressuring me to be in a relationship, but there's just one problem...I'm permanently disfigured. I used to have tits, and then I had surgery. It still doesn't look normal and the Doctors don't care. But the ...
A. 29 January 2011: I understand you grieving for your body, and I understand your insecurities, but it is hard for me to understand how you want to push people out of your life who love you despite the surgery. People want to get close to you, who love you for much, ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant if he came but I didn't?
Q. Is it possible that I can get pregnant if my boyfriend came in me but I never came? And I start around the 5th of every month?...
A. 29 January 2011: Your orgasm has zero to do with the process. Absolutely zero. All that matters at all his orgasm (or precum, as CaringGuy pointed out). Pregnancy can happen to you anytime during your cycle - some parts of your cycle make it more likely to get ... (read in full...)
Can all women squirt?
Q. So I was a spectator to a discussion at a party the other day (alcohol involved) involving squirting. One guy claimed that the squirting in porn was real. (which I know its not) When someone voiced this contrary opinion, the kid stated that that was ...
A. 26 January 2011: You got great advice. I just wanted to tell you that in porn, squirting isn't peeing (okay, maybe in some porns), but it is in fact the insertion of water (or whatever liquid) into the vagina. Then pretty much: insert dick, pump and build a little ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has slept with 6 women, but he's my first. It bothers me!
Q. I've been with my bf for 2 years and when we met I was a virgin and he had slept with 6 other people. I love him a lot but I find this incredibly hard to deal with sometimes. Sometimes it does't bother me, but when I think about it it weirds me out. ...
A. 26 January 2011: You got such wonderful advice...
I just wanted to help you put your life in a little extra perspective. I've been with one fella (my husband), and I am number 27 for him. Yes, it feels a little icky. Yes, I know that he won't really understa... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to date other races?
Q. Hey peeps, Is it wrong for me to date other races?? I'm black and my friends always talkin about sticking to our own culture but I find white and chinese boys SERIOUSLY attractive :s. I also want to know if dating other cultures last long ...
A. 26 January 2011: I am bi-racial (half black, half white). My parents have been in love for 25 years and that's not stopping anytime soon. I know A LOT (and I mean A LOT) of other black/white or other interracial marriages, that seem to be just as happy and ... (read in full...)
I feel more comfortable talking to my dad, is this normal?
Q. Is it bad if i can't tell my mom anything? Like i live with my mom but not my dad, and I barely see him and i feel more comfortable talking to him about stuff but i don't feel comfortable talking to my mom about stuff. is that a problem? ...
A. 26 January 2011: I don't think it's a problem, as long as you feel comfortable talking to someone! Most people feel oppositely (feel weird talking to their Dads and they tell their Mom everything) and nobody bats and eyelash. You are totally normal!
Make a little... (read in full...)
Is he just taking me for granted or what?
Q. I dont even no were to start, I've been with my partner for almost eight years. We have kids together, we have had our ups and down, I have been trying to set a date for the wedding but every time i want to talk about it he dont - so, finally i ...
A. 24 January 2011: You leave the man who is clearly taking you for granted. It's been 8 years and he tells you that he won't marry you until you start "acting right"?? Any idea what he's talking about? Have you been unfaithful or anything?
He sounds very self-cen... (read in full...)
Advice for dating please...???
Q. Herro everyone. First time in practically two years and I have a date :). She's 17, I'm 19, and I'm really looking forward to it. However, I want to try and avoid going to the movies, would rather talk more then sit and blatantly stare at a scree...
A. 23 January 2011: A trip to the aquarium, followed by sushi? (I love a good irony date.)
A walk in the park? Ice skating? The arcade is always fun - brings out the kid-like excitement in you and you can be playfully competitive.
A movie isn't all bad (all tho... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him and hope that they learn to accept us?
Q. Ok, major dilemna in my life right now! I'm 15 going on 16 very soon and have recently begun a relationship with a 21 year old, we are both Christians and he understands that I do not want to do anything sexual with him until I am married. I honest...
A. 23 January 2011: Well here's the thing - they don't matter. And, if you guys are together and happy, and if you plan on continuing being together... you'll get older. That is just how it goes.
You will pretty much have to learn to let the comments roll off your... (read in full...)
My friend set me up with a male friend of hers, but now she's acting jealous! Should I go through with meeting him?
Q. My friend wanted to set me up with one of her guy friends. I talked to him over e-mail and he wants to meet up. He lives in another state but said he would drive up to see me. I'm nervous because what if he sees me and isn't interested? I'm just ...
A. 23 January 2011: No worries!!!
I can totally relate to your friend. I'm married, and I met this reeealllyyy great guy. I admit that I kind of had a crush on him, so naturally I thought that since he was such a good guy I should at least do my girlfriends a favor ... (read in full...)
Conflicted about asking a friend
Q. I really like one of my guys friends. I am not on the very slim side ,I hate that I am this way ,but I am. I not too fat though. Well I want to ask him out but I am worried that he will say no and then our friendship will be ruined. Also I dont want ...
A. 22 January 2011: That is often the dilemma with asking out a friend!
Don't worry about how much you weigh. Your weight has nothing to do with this! You are beautiful the way you are.
I would try hanging out with him independently and flirting with him a littl... (read in full...)
I don't want to make all the 1st moves!
Q. My boyfriend is in 9th grade and im in 11th. i have kissed many guys and have a good amount of experience. He is very shy and we have only been going out for a week and he wont even hold my hand. I care a lot about him and want to hold his hand ...
A. 22 January 2011: Well, he's already shy and now he's dating an older, more experienced woman! No wonder he is a little bit nervous. I'm sure that he wants to hold your hand, hugs you, kiss you, but he's probably nervous about how to approach all that stuff. I would ... (read in full...)
She will not even let me hold her hand. Why is she so resistant to hand holding?
Q. i have recently started dating my friend.i want to kiss her. I was just talking to her on the phone with her and jokingly i just said that i'll tickle her. She said that she won't even let me touch her. Whenever i'm with her she hasn't even held...
A. 21 January 2011: I was like that in my early relationships, only instead of saying it out loud, I would think it in my head. I was young, I was a little bit sexually awkward (even if "sexually" meant holding hands and being affectionate, etc.), and ultimately just ... (read in full...)
Do I yank on my chain too much?
Q. I have been masturbating since i was about 12 and i am now 15 almost 16 year old male. Both men and women turn me on but mainly men. I masturbate 10-12 times a day and inwas wondering if that is to often? Just a thought. ...
A. 21 January 2011: Well, okay... firstly - yes. It's alright to do. As long as you're not hurting yourself and you are able to carry out your normal responsibilities (are you still doing well in school? Still socializing? Doing your chores?), that is!
But 10-12 ti... (read in full...)
Are first kisses important?
Q. Are first kisses important? I had mine when I was 7, and it was just a peck with a boy in my class. I now look back on it and it's a pretty cute first kiss even though there was no chemistry involved. A few months ago I got in a relationsh...
A. 21 January 2011: Aww, you got me thinking about my first kiss. My first pseudo-kiss was in 1st grade after eating Cheetos (unfortunate), under a bed during a game of hide and seek. My first REAL kiss was in 6th grade during a game of truth or dare.
Trust me, I wo... (read in full...)
I told him "thank you" but I don't think that's enough!
Q. There is something that happened to me 2 days ago. I was in an accident of car crash. I'm ok cuz I was just release a break when a bicycle suddenly came and blocked my path. Do you believe it that it cross another car that was in the opposite ...
A. 21 January 2011: Maybe tell him that you want to take him out to lunch or dinner to thank him properly? That seems like a good way to say thank you and test out the waters to see if something more can happen between you! Good luck!... (read in full...)
I know he likes his privacy but now he doesn't want me coming around to his house...???
Q. I'm so in love with my boyfriend of four years, he's perfect for me. The only thing is he's a very private person and I'm very open and honest so I just don't understand his need for secrecy, when we love each other. It's got to a ridiculo...
A. 20 January 2011: You've been with him for 4 years and he's never let you come to his house? You are right to be suspicious and you are right to draw the line. I wouldn't stick around to find out what he's hiding... it is definitely not a puppy or a surprise party ... (read in full...)
Would he keep staring at me if he hated me?
Q. it's been a little bit over two years since i seen my ex and before i did him pretty dirty by leaving him for my other ex.. sorry i just followed my heart which ended up being a mistake but than just this past weekend i saw my ex that i did dirty. ...
A. 20 January 2011: He could be looking at you for a lot of reasons... it is very hard to tell. He could be staring at you BECAUSE he "hates" you (some people are more confrontational than ice cold), or maybe he's staring because he's reminiscing, yearning or checking ... (read in full...)
Is he still faking or is he desperate? Or do you think I've surmised his real reasons?
Q. Well, I'm 15 and gay, and probably full of overused cliché, but I was with a guy for 9ish months, then he broke it with me. Obviously I was distraught, considering he was the first person I'd had feelings for, first person I'd ever been with, and a ...
A. 20 January 2011: Aunt Honesty is absolutely, positively right. I have nothing more to say, except that you both are young and he may just not be ready to come out yet. Maybe he still is a little confused, maybe he's not entirely comfortable with himself yet. He ... (read in full...)
If he really loved me would a 20 minute drive matter?
Q. I'm 15 years old, and I like this guy who just turned 17. He lives in my moms town, 20 minutes away. We both liked each other for almost 3 years, and just recently he told me he loved me, which considering he didn't even tell me that when we dated ...
A. 20 January 2011: 20 minutes? Oooh man, ditch this guy. That is seriously NOTHING. Geez, I drive two hours every other weekend to go see my girlfriends in my hometown. And THAT doesn't even seem like a big deal. He must not be that invested in you, and you deserve ... (read in full...)
How do I improve the appearance of my breasts?
Q. I am so embarrassed by my breasts. All my girlfriends have nice ones with smaller areolas, but I'd describe mine as fat man boobs. They're pointy, with big aereolas and they sAg to the sides :( is there anyway to make them look better, and no I'm ...
A. 20 January 2011: You're young and have a lot more growing to do. My boobs surprised me by looking one way until I was about 17, then pulling a 180 and transforming into a seemingly completely new rack! So, you do have time to grow, and your breasts may not look the ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to leave bruises during sex?
Q. My Girlfriend wants me to leave bruises during sex? I am not sure what to take of this we have been dating over a year now. She wants me to hit her.. I dont know what to do is it normal?...
A. 19 January 2011: You got great advice already. I was just thinking that maybe if you're uncomfortable with leaving bruises and hitting her (I would be too), maybe you'd be more into spanking? You could get some of those kinky little paddles that leave little heart ... (read in full...)
Am I now gay instead of bisexual?
Q. Help!!!!! Right, i have had feelings for boys for two years now and thought i was bisexual however i havent been able to get a boner over a girl for about 2 weeks but i have easily over boys. help!? Please! I think i may be properly gay instead of ...
A. 19 January 2011: Hey, our cravings ebb and flow. Sometimes you may feel more into guys, sometime you may feel more into girls - our tastes do kind of shift depending on the phases of the moon, know what I'm saying?
You are young and still coming into your sexualit... (read in full...)
I don't catch any attention from guys!
Q. There's been something that's been unnerving me for some time. I get told that I'm pretty, and funny, and a catch, yet I still don't get any attention from guys. I'm coming to the conclusion that those might just be pity lines thrown my way. The ...
A. 19 January 2011: I think that most guys in high school are easily scared off by confident, more mature women. I am not saying to change this about yourself - no, you should CELEBRATE that about yourself. Exactly like LucyLee says, I think that you will be more and ... (read in full...)
I want to celebrate our 9 month anniversary, but I have a family obligation that same day!
Q. Hey! Me and my boyfriend are goin out 9 months next week and i want it to be really special, we've organized a few things aswell. Its just my mam wants me to go to my cousins confirmation on the same day!:( . How can i tell her that i cant go?...
A. 19 January 2011: You scored an England trip?? Alright! I wouldn't push your luck.
If you are into monthiversary's (loving that term), then you have lots and lots left. Your cousin really only has the one confirmation EVER, and by going you will be saving yourself... (read in full...)
My best friend told me he is gay. How do I deal with the weird feelings I have now?
Q. so, this isn't really a relationship question, it's more of a best friend situation. I've known my best friend for a year and a half now and we've been really close since we met. Today he came out and told me he is gay. I am most certainly not ...
A. 13 January 2011: I don't think it sounds anti-gay in the LEAST, sweetheart.
I am the girl you will find at all the rallies, getting signatures on petitions and speaking out for the GLBT community. I am an über supporter, or a "straight ally" as I am usually ... (read in full...)
After 2 years of dating, he's not ready for a relationship. What should I do?
Q. I really don't know what to do I've been with a guy for 2 years now and he still tells me that we not ready for a relationship even though we act like we going out. Should I stay and wait till he comes around or walk away?...
A. 11 January 2011: If it's been two years and you choose to wait, be ready for another two years.
I'm about to use one of the phrases I most loathe, but this guy needs to shit or get off the pot. If it has been two years then he has obviously found that he can have... (read in full...)
Should I just leave be or what?
Q. Just some advice, I was friends with this girl really really close friends for a year in college and then we sort of lost touch because she stayed back a year in college and i went ahead so she made new friends etc and we drifted apart. As far am i ...
A. 11 January 2011: I agree with CR - why not say hey? Both of you are stuck in this little rut and one of you just needs to break the silence! There is nothing wrong with catching up. Go for it and friend her on Facebook, or open your mouth and just say hi to her next ... (read in full...)
Hopelessly in like!
Q. Okay, sooo i like this boy. We're both freshman in high school. I've known him since 7th grade and we've been cool ever since. I started liking him this year when i saw him at fish camp looking just drop dead gorgous! It turns out that over the ...
A. 11 January 2011: Well that sucks!
The best you can do is to hold your head high, feign confidence and remember that "this too, shall pass". Put a smile on your face and be casual with him. Don't stop piping up and saying "hi", even if he doesn't hold eye contact ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being overpossive of my girlfriend?
Q. I'm a guy. I think i'm over possessive over my girlfriend. Any guy who just posts on her Facebook wall will make me feel uneasy. Then I will start to be doubtful. I keep telling myself they are just friends (which I THINK it is true) Recent...
A. 11 January 2011: Well, at least you see your issue! The worst case is when the person is living in denial.
She seems like a private person who is kind of crappy at texting. I'm the same way - I have mostly male friends, tend to handle most issues independ... (read in full...)
A bump inside my breast! Is this normal?
Q. Dear Cupid, Im a 16 yr old normal teen. I've recently started feeling my breast and noticed there was like a bump inside my breast. Whenever i put my finger on that certain area, i can feel the bump. Im super worried because i have no idea what it ...
A. 10 January 2011: I discovered a bump around 15. I will tell you now that the worst part of this will be telling your Mom that you have a lump and need to see the doctor. For me it was a benign cyst that they still felt that they should remove. It really wasn't a big ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy masturbating!
Q. I am a 16 year old girl and I do not enjoy masturbating. I have masturbated before, I've tried different techniques, I've watched porn, and I cannot enjoy it. All it does is frustrate me. Is there anything I can do or any suggestions on how to enjoy ...
A. 10 January 2011: I guess my best advice is to practice, practice, practice and relax about the fact that you aren't having orgasms. The more you put pressure on yourself, the more frustrated you get and the less likely you are to finish at all! When you are first ... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend and I transfer colleges?
Q. My girlfriend and I are both 19 and have been dating for 2 years. We both just completed our first semester of college. The problem is, we made a decision to go to separate colleges back when our relationship was still young. But we know now that we ...
A. 10 January 2011: Well, love conquers all... but debt sucks eternally. If you two have every intention of being together and to have happier lives beyond the next three years, I would suck it up and stay where you are. Being close for the next 3 years may seem like ... (read in full...)
I think he may be asking me out, but maybe I should beat him to the punch?
Q. i really like this person. i have told him and he seemed cool about it. In class i overheard him say to his friend how do you ask someone out. My friends have been trying to get me to ask him out but i just dont know how to. He smiles at me all the ...
A. 9 January 2011: You need to find a second where you can catch this guy alone! You guys are letting your friends do an awful lot of the work (and that is an awful lot more embarrassing and awkward than talking one-on-one!).
His behavior does seem like he may like... (read in full...)
Should I forge ahead with my psychologist career, and ignore my heart? Or chase my dream of being an actress?
Q. Hi. I don't have a relationship question, it's more of a life question. But I read this site everyday, and people seem to be very helpful. I need some advice. I am 18 and in my first year of college. This is normally when people figure out what the...
A. 6 January 2011: Hello my dear,
I am currently a double major in college - in Psych and Theater. My passion is theater... specifically, theater history, but directing, acting, being backstage - it is all a thrill. I'm a Senior, and just put in my graduate school a... (read in full...)
I'm afraid if we hook up I'll disappoint him
Q. OK So I will keep this short. There is this guy I like. Lets call him "Kevin" Anyways Kevin has been with a lot of girls. He was always the hook up type. Now he has decided to start looking for a relationship. I know he is serious because he has ...
A. 1 January 2011: If he wants a relationship, then that means he is interested in dating you? Getting to know you a bit?
I guess my best advice is if you want to have a real relationship, you can go on a couple of dates (or as ever many as you feel right about) b... (read in full...)
Should I be the one to 'cave in'? We haven't spoken for four days
Q. This is kind of a followup from my last question. I haven't spoken to my boyfriend in 4 whole days now and I don't know if I should be the one to cave or not? http://www.dea...
A. 1 January 2011: Amen to the other two posters. Great advice, and I agree whole-heartedly! ... (read in full...)
I love her, can't stop thinking about her, but she hates me. I need advice please
Q. I'm 14 going on 15 and there's this girl i really like, only thing is she hates me, and i don't know what to do next. I think it's because first of all i got my mates to ask her out, and second when she said to them that she wouldn't go with me, ...
A. 1 January 2011: Definitely leave her be like the other ladies have said! You don't want to come on too strong. If you start moving on, she may notice your absence, or you may find someone who really likes you and would never say something like "I hate you and leave ... (read in full...)
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